₦airaland Forum

I know a lot of guys who got married only after they have convinced themselves that the babe can take in. The average sexually active naija campus girl has had at least 1 abortion, every happening guy knows this as fact, so if you meet a girl you like and u are convinced that she is the one for you, go ahead and conduct the ultimate test, make sure you are ready to wed her once she takes in. I know most of the mordern born again churches carryout pregnancy test before marriage, so wed in a family church which would most likely be an old fashion pentecoastal church.

Yeah, you can say it doesn't matter but I bet you it would matter to your wife if you have only girls, she would never feel secure or comfortable with the fact that she doesn't have any boys.

Personally I think girls are more caring than boys, they know how to pamper their parents while boys would only send money and wouldn't have time for other activities.

I have done it before it is no big deal. We were friends for a long time and lovers for a short while. When I told her we should return the relationship back to the platonic level, she no gree said it was ALL OR NOTHING.

It is however not advisable if the person is working directly under you, it spoils work no matter how you play it.

Now you guys are all waking up to what I have been saying from day one. Greatpeter must have gotten this idea from my last post. Great work man.

Ya for those of you that preach no pre-marital sex why divorce the man afterall sex is not important to you. So his not being able to get it up makes no difference. Surgically some extracts can be made from him and fertilise the woman with, so you can still have kids without sex. What more do you want

Hey and I dey here dey surf internet, o! boy I don comot.

Haba Seun I no be player o!. Players are not emotionally involved in any of their relationships that is why they can run multiple accounts at the same time or hop from one to the other within very short intervals. I had very long and intimate relationships with all the babes I went out with. It really hurt my heart when I parted with most of them.

The truth about this is that we guys don't help the situation, I have read a couple of postings here were outgoing babes are short of being called loose and that is totally unfair.

A female colleague of mine 4 years ago had this problem, so she called me up on a Friday and asked if I could take her clubbing she was bored stiff of staying at home and there was no bobo insight. I agreed on the condition that she wasn't my date, but we were two friends hanging out. So we went off to Charlies and I paid all the bills after which we proceeded to Bootleggers where she paid the bills but of course she gave me her money in the car before we alighted as she wasn't comfortable with paying the bill in open. Our partnership worked out very well I could discuss any topic with her, down to how daring some babes dressed, which kind of babes I liked etc without her being jealous. It became an every weekend event, we usually crash out at my place after clubbing, offcourse she slept in the guest room, afterall we were just friends. The friendship was great while it lasted but then like my people say you can't keep goat and yam together for too long without something happening, but that one na another matter which I am not allowed to discuss on NairaLand.

My question was clearly written and titled "Why look for trouble", sure infedelity may be applicable in some cases but not all. My question still stands, why do women especially the married one's go sniffing around when they can do practically little to stop the man if he is fooling around?

Why look for trouble?

Most of my friends and colleagues are now married, and complain bitterly about the way their wives suspect them of having affairs outside and always go through their personal items looking for clues. They all claim they respect and love their wives, however some do have affairs outside but do it very discretely, for instance when they travel out of town for official assignments. None would flaunt these affairs in front of their wives, as doing so is a sign of disrespect.

Now most married women in Nigeria go through their husband’s personal stuff looking for clues of infidelity. Nigeria is not like obodo oyibo where a woman gains a lot if she divorces her husband, in naija she gets practically nothing, is thrown out of the house and another babe moves in. Our society is based on polygamy so nobody sees anything wrong in a man having more than one wife, however because of the financial hardship in the country most people cannot afford more than one.

I often ask my friends who have affairs outside why they do it, their response is usually “How man go chop egusi soup all the time..”, I.e variety is the spice of life. In view of the fact that our society is polygamous in nature and the laws don’t really favor divorced women that much, why look for trouble when you stand to loose the most, just love him as much as you can when he is back to his senses he would stop all that outside adventure. A Nigerian man would never abandon his marriage once there are children involved.

Abi what do you people think, lets be practical and logical about this.

There are instances when married couples need to keep certain things away from their spouse, for instance sesitive extended family issues which the family needs to keep confidential. Or Doctor Patient issues etc.....Abi no be so

The introduction of mobile phones in Nigeria is both a blessing and the source of quarrel amongst couples. Most of my married friends tell me that their wives occassionally pick up their handset, start going through the stored numbers and asking irritating questions, as well as reading their received/sent SMS and jumping to the wrong conclusion, this has caused serious quarrels in several homes.

Now my question to you all (men & women) is it right to infringe on your partner's privacy in the name of "LOVE"

Love? I don't know the meaning of that word. but yes I like her a lot..that you can deduce from the conversation..abi na crime

@IAH, Haba you don't have to insult him especially if he approached you in a nice way, just tell him nicely that you don't date guys younger than you.

The babe I was refering to in my discussions above is now 35 years old still single and has become very religious. The kind of men she would like to marry are those above 37. Most men this age are already married. If she wants to settle down she needs to get off her high horse and accept someone slightly younger than her who genuinely loves her.

My broda the babe mouth na razor blade o! even you no go fit stomach am, e better make we just be friends this way we fit yab each other without seeing it as disrespect. If we enter house together na another matter e go be.

let me tell you what transpired between us yesterday on SMS

CalabarMan: How now are you back from Lagos. Hope you had a nice time.

The Babe:I just arrived PH. You are really dying for me.

CalabarMan:Well unlike you I no dey hide my feelings.However it is too late for us now.Just wishing you the best.

On reaching the office she called and asked why I was harrassing her so much on saturday, and that she was really touched. I said touch ke, that your heart whey strong pass stone. She replied true she was and then went on to ask why I didn't tell her before. My response was fear of rejection. She laughed and asked when we would revisit our earlier cancelled lunch date....

3 months is the maximum time with some it is much shorter, but you need to know when to quite otherwise you may end up spending too much time for nothing.

I love Ibo girls most if they like you they would not waste your time but a yoruba girl omo na so she go pose until you vex, meanwhile dem no sabi the thing well.

I know I am going to be chewed on this but it is the truth.

No need to go into too much elaborate planning. Just build up the confidence, walk up to her introduce yourself ask her about herself try and be interested in her gist, donn't go telling her all your achievements. At this stage you need to show genuine interest in her. Get to be her friend first, go out on lunch dates, invite her for in-town functions/events and when you are both comfortable with each other tell her you would like to be her one and only man.

Most importantly follow the flow, sense the mood. If she is playing hard to get, forget her and move on, she is not for you. At least you would have convinced yourself that you tried. My chasing time is 3 months if after that period the babe is still playing hard to get I move on, most times the babe realizes what she is about to miss and comes chasing...don't feel big headed when she does, accept her if she didn't hurt you too much other wise tell her sorry in a polite way, never set out on a revenge part, you gain nothing at the end.

On saturday morning I had gone to the club to play a game of badminton, after the game I sent an SMS to an old female friend of mine, who had just returned from an oversea assignment and was settling into her new house.

CalabarMan: How now, I would have called but did not want to disturb anything incase you are busy with your bobo.I am at the badminton court if its convenient I could pop over to know your new house.

The Babe: Sorry oh, I am off to Lagos this morning although I would pass through the office first.

CalabarMan: Na whao this your every weekend Lagos, I beg do quick I wan chop rice e be like you get one bobo for Lagos. Greet am for me anyway.

The Babe: e be like say yeye dey worry you oh...

CalabarMan: Which one you dey sef eh.., na all of us dey do am oh no need to form. Nothing to shame about. Make sure you enjoy your self well well oh.. body no be firewood.

The Babe: I dey convinced say na double yeye dey worry you .

CalabarMan: No vex ma, You know say I like you well well, I once had a terrible crush for you but this your bad mouth no gree me talk am. Anyway I am just wishing you the best, abi I talk bad...

The Babe: Crush for your big sister, you no dey fear sef. Sha I dey lagos.

CalabarMan: Thank God say I no tell you that time you would have really hurt my feelings, but now am just amused. Anyway have fun and greet your sister for me.

The Babe: Thank God for you. My response would have been just that then. Not that I would have intentionally wanted to hurt you. In hindsight I probably hurt another guy in a similar circumstance in the past, he is yet to recover from it although married. Age na strong thing oh.

CalabarMan: you need to chill and be open minded. You need to discard that ancient concept of seeing guys about your age as small boys, who knows you might just find your true love within that range.

The Babe: I have a problem with the word "submissive", I don't think it can work for me.

CalabarMan: I understand but the bible also says that a woman needs to be submissive to her man. A female friend of mine who used to think like you just married a guy 1 year younger than her.

The Babe: Good Luck to her

CalabarMan: You be old school oh..any way no forget to buy me better from lagos.

The Babe: You no know before. I would buy you exactly what you bought me from London, nothing.

Reflecting back, I met this babe 10 years ago (we were both in our early 20s, I am actually a month older than her) we were both sent on a company sponsored course, the babe was very hot then, not too tall, light in cmplexion and wore mini-skirt. The babe laps na die. Throughout the course I never really spoke to her, just dey shadow from a far. A few days after the course I called her up, I was in Warri then and she in our Port-Harcourt office, I had planned to toast the babe and had carefully worked out my yarn. The babe was very surprised and happy to hear from me, and we flowed easily however she could yab well well, her mouth na razor blade oh..but I enjoyed talking to her. She reminded me of my secondary school days when we used to pick on anyone in our group and yab him until he fights back. I pocket my manifesto quick quick..I told myself this babe was good as a friend to yarn with but not as a babe to date, what if she yabs me in front of my pallies, I couldn't risk loosing face in my inner circle.

Now she is in approaching mid 30s still single, looking for a husband and feels any man her age is not matured enough for her. I tried to make her realise that, the kind of men she is looking for (older than her) are already married maybe she needs to relax and go for those slightly younger. Nna e no easy oh.. this thing called age.

If I were looking for a babe now I guess I would also have some age restrictions, any babe under 27 would be too young, with all my experience and exposure it would be an unfair match for anyone younger, abi…