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Calamus's Posts

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CrimeRe: 13-Year-Old Boy Beheads Mum In Enugu by calamus(m): 5:46pm On Feb 10, 2019
stanliwise:
There are no evidence that the boy did this single-handedly. I wonder why Nigerians are not analytical.
Of course he did it double-handedly, Mr Analyticus.
Does that make him less of an evil child?
PoliticsStone Leads In Presidential Poll Between Buhari And Stone by calamus(op): 4:05pm On Feb 10, 2019
The rate at which the incumbent president is losing credibility is alarming!

This poll on Twitter between Buhari and a stone is one of the countless that has proved beyond reasonable doubt that all roads lead to Daura in a few weeks' time for him.

The result in less than half an hour is shocking!

See picture evidence.


grin cheesy

CrimeRe: 13-Year-Old Boy Beheads Mum In Enugu by calamus(m): 3:13pm On Feb 10, 2019
IFEOLUWAKRIZ:
The boy was unstable mentally. I was in the community when it happpened. Nigerian bloggers won't cover every detail for reasons best known to them.
Oh dear! A curse on bloggers who spread biased information.
PoliticsRe: Video Of Crowd Waiting For Atiku For His Rally In Kano by calamus(m): 3:03pm On Feb 10, 2019
I am just coming from Twitter.

Said I should branch and see how zombies on Nairaland are doing.

I see that the Atikulated on Nairaland ain't sparing them either...

Please don't let sarrki, , Corrinthians and co. see this... They need to live until March 23...

DONADAMS:
all these are hired crowd..both PMB and Atiku...it doesn't give the true state of how the outcome of the elections would be
Ehhnn... leave it like that... Our hired crowd big pass their own hired crowd

b0rn2fuck:
People don't know atiku is from northern, there is chances that he will share north with bubu but the south west belong to tinubu which simply means bubu strong hold is south west
So what happens to the South East? What about the influx of South Easterners to the South West? Oh! You think that Lagos is made up of up to 80% South Westerners? Or all of them support Buhari?
Ogaa, open your eyes... The masses won't vote this time because Tinubu, or Willie, or Kwankwaso told us to vote this person or that...

You either have ardent followers, or those who are tired of their situation.
PoliticsRe: Video Of Crowd Waiting For Atiku For His Rally In Kano by calamus(m): 3:03pm On Feb 10, 2019
Last post
PoliticsRe: Video Of Crowd Waiting For Atiku For His Rally In Kano by calamus(m): 3:03pm On Feb 10, 2019
This is something else... chai!
PoliticsRe: Video Of Crowd Waiting For Atiku For His Rally In Kano by calamus(m): 3:01pm On Feb 10, 2019
At the rate people are going about these pictures and videos of #AtikuinKano, I hope we are not going to lose our zombies to sifia pains? grin grin cheesy cheesy
LiteratureRe: Number 225 Katakata Street by calamus(m): 12:43pm On Feb 10, 2019
Who else does this happen to?

While reading any update, I can't breath until I see TO BE CONTINUED, then I take in a deep breath! shocked

Is it normal?
3 Likes
CrimeRe: 13-Year-Old Boy Beheads Mum In Enugu by calamus(m): 12:29pm On Feb 10, 2019
So this is a son from whom we are expecting to reap fruits of our labour?

God save us from evil children!
Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 8:34am On Feb 03, 2019
Get the courses you desire now, shipped to you. No need to spend hours downloading videos; I've done that already.
IslamRe: Ruling On Shaking Hands With Opposite Sex by calamus(m): 11:33am On Feb 01, 2019
allow me comment nwokem... angry

Kedi udiri akuko nzuzu di ife a?

unu na-afukwa udili nsi a na-akoju ndi a n'isi? huh huh

So I can't shake her? But can I touch her at all? Oh no, I can't.
If I meet a woman who (perhaps) was met by a mishap on the road, I shouldn't touch her because it is haraam.

Haraam gbakwa oku dia... undecided undecided undecided
PoliticsRe: I Will Continue To Reposition Police, Judiciary – Buhari by calamus(m): 5:34am On Jan 31, 2019
Continue to reposition.

In other words, you are not even sure of the people you employ, and will continue to shuffle until you get what you want.
Oga shift... You have 16 days to go...like GOOO...
Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 9:03am On Jan 26, 2019
more
LiteratureRe: Number 225 Katakata Street by calamus(m): 2:40pm On Jan 20, 2019
Methinks that the man set the old woman up.
On second thought, I think she actually did - although why, I won't know - and then Akunna saw the money, and went with it to buy ram and goat. But how? huh undecided

The time he told her had come, and she had to give way, so that he will swing into full action in the compound.

Beautiful (but short for me) writeup, baba, once again. Centino for president. grin

Harold4lyf:
@centino...my problem with you is that no matter how long your update is it never long enough for me...and the suspense is killing me...pls do something
That makes two of us...

Donpeteranking1:
Please I’ve been following this work since the very first day and first upload until I lost my password and change of phone I’ve been off nairaland for months , kudos to you oga Centino , and please I would like to know the days and expected times for updates
Same station, on Wednesdays and Sundays... Time... erhhh! huh ask Centino... undecided

okeyben10:
mama akunna, thief kwa?? ds agbonyibo no loyal o whatever happened to espirit d corpshuh

good he didn't use d opportunity to take out Irikefe
I was even thinking that was his intention, until Papa Efe stepped in; I knew that no matter what he did, Irikefe would be safe...

eyesofpearls:
Centino!!!!! I’m absolutely speechless!

Thank you man!

I could read you forever!
Like curl up with coffee and read you all day back to back!
In a perfect world you would do nothing but write! Now I understand why good writers have ladies that are sapiosexual or at his beck and call?

Thanks for making my Sunday complete... still I yearn ... guess that’s the aim cry
God bless you on every side.
You are the best!
So that means you are ... grin cheesy wink
2 Likes
Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 3:22am On Jan 16, 2019
New Course: Wordpress Plugins - SEO available.
Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 6:47pm On Jan 14, 2019
Delivery to all states of Nigeria.
Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 10:58am On Jan 14, 2019
5 New Courses available for would-be Android Developers.
Get all 5 plus shipping for N5,000!
Technology MarketRe: New Hp Laptop Needed by calamus(m): 7:06pm On Jan 13, 2019
Contumely:
New hp laptop needed for little sis

500gb
4gb ram

Drop price here
The specs you stated are incomplete.
... and can lead to issues during transaction.

I can get you a 4GB, 500GB laptop for as low as N50,000! How?

Well, you asked for a 4GB RAM, 500GB HDD laptop. I might as well give you an HP 8440p
Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 6:35pm On Jan 13, 2019
Get started today with freelancing. Make your selections.
LiteratureRe: Number 225 Katakata Street by calamus(m): 6:30pm On Jan 13, 2019
Kai! grin

Just finished reading.

The only problem I am having with Centino's story is that, no matter how long the update is, it never seems to be long enough.

Everything is in tow. Another beautifully-written episode by the man whose pen is filled with ink from the rivers of Lebanon! cheesy grin

Nobody should argue with me, I am not in the mood...

MrMacinterchi1:
Happy Sunday Sir CENTINO. I believe your muse is overlapping already. Abeg, na beg I de beg ooo, na this ur update go be your Birthday present to me and I go appreciate it well well.. it go make the birthday way fall on a Sunday enter well well.

I go like make u use loonnnggg update wish me longggg life and longgggg account balance in great future. Thank you bro. Happy Sunday again.
May your birthday be every Sunday.
2 Likes
LiteratureRe: Number 225 Katakata Street by calamus(m): 5:49pm On Jan 13, 2019
Centino:
Happy birthday man. Okay I go do as you talk. make I go put fisi for the one wey I don finish grin

Calamus I sight you. Answer my PM na.

phaphyz05, Benreu, Damoguy, hatchetman (24 hrs! wow!), AkieWillis and especially repogirl... I see y'all thanks.

Make I go finish today tori. BRB.
Boss! Mah first lie down in apology. Then I will run to my email anon!
No vex, I don't check the email often.

EDIT: I have sent a reply. Sorry, the mail went straight to the spam folder.
...and thanks for the week's piece. I have not read it but, for some strange reason, while scrolling for length, I saw "spread her legs" somewhere... two pictures...

Technology MarketRe: Start Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op): 1:47pm On Jan 13, 2019
More courses coming. Send in your requests.
All courses to be sent through digital media, i.e. DVDs.
Technology MarketStart Earning Money as a Freelancer Today - Taking Tutorials by calamus(op):
This is for you if you want to start freelancing (Digital Marketing, SEO Expert, Graphic Designer, Web Developer, Programmer, Photographer, Video Editor, Data Science, etc) this year...

It is no longer news that the rate of unemployment and economic recession in the country is high.
But what you might not know yet is that there are people for whom some or all of these is an advantage. One instance is the fact that, since the dollar has gained appreciatively against the Naira, the Naira equivalent of the same amount in dollars, has increased greatly.

So what will you do with this information?

Learn a skill. Use that skill on freelancing sites like fiverr.com, upwork.com, freelancer.com, etc. There are a couple of topics on Nairaland that will teach you about these sites, and you can always ask me and I can share my experience on fiverr with you.

When you work on these sites, you get paid in dollars, and most of these things are things you are currently doing for free, or for less. For instance, I charge an average of $250 to build a website on fiverr, depending on the features, but here in Nigeria, I have gone as low as N40,000 because of the competition, for the same kind of website. Do you know that over there, programmers will ask you to pay them per hour (average of $20-$30)?

Teachers, Professionals, Students, Stay-at-Home Adults, Technicians, Apprentices, etc, LEARN A SKILL!

And there are a lot of sites where you can do that. Udacity, Udemy, Lynda, LinkedIn Learning, edX, Coursera; the list is endless, and new ones keep springing up everyday.

I know what you're thinking - it costs money to get valuable courses, and you're right - premium memberships or course prices are high, and if you want to learn a lot of courses, or will spend a few months on these sites, you might have to part with plenty money, AND THAT IS WHERE THIS SERVICE COMES IN.


Get ANY course of your choice from any of these sites for only N1000! Yes, N1000/course.

SHIPPING RATE IS N500 flat (no matter the amount of courses) for those within Anambra state and negotiable based on your location outside Anambra state.




HOW TO USE:
Go to Lynda's website, search for the courses you want, send me the link(s), we will agree on payment, I will get you your tutorials and burn them to a DVD, and then ship to your location.
How fast I can do this will depend on how many courses you need.


LIST OF COURSES CURRENTLY AVAILABLE (INSTANT DELIVERY, NO WAITING TIME)
Programming Foundations - Fundamentals
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WordPress - Plugin Development
Hacking Wireless Networks Theory and Practice
Unleash Your Memory Become a Memory Guru
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Michel Thomas Learning French
Michel Thomas Learning French Advanced
Oxford Take Off in French (PDF + Audio)
Make - AVR Programming - Learning to Write Software for Hardware
Learning SOLIDWORKS PCB
Learning Linux Command Line
Learning Python Programming
Learning Algorithms in JavaScript from Scratch
5-Day Drawing Challenge - Communicating Through Drawing
Advanced Node.js
Advanced Node.js Scaling Applications
Angular.js - Building a Data Driven App
API Desing in Node.js using Express and MongoDB
Learning Rest APIs
Meteor Essential Training
Learning Fullstack JavaScript Development with MongoDB, Node.js and React.js
Ethical Hacking - Website and Web Application Testing
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YOU CAN ALSO CALL/SMS: 07068315153
Technology MarketRe: Apple Macbook Laptop@15k Awoof Price by calamus(m): 11:22am On Jan 13, 2019
Oga are you selling laptop or rings?
PoliticsRe: INEC Transfers PVC Collection To Registration Areas, Wards by calamus(m): 12:21pm On Jan 12, 2019
OGHENAOGIE:
so 2011 was nt free and fair..no let me slap u... u pple jst know hw to say yeye sometimes.....
you dey mind the zombie? angry you get time.
PoliticsRe: INEC Transfers PVC Collection To Registration Areas, Wards by calamus(m): 12:20pm On Jan 12, 2019
Zabilon007:
Ordinary Ahmed Isa, God bless you for making this possible.... Una hembelembe!.....
Oloololo!!!


This is good news. Although I don't think it favours everybody. It favours me though, but what about others?
EducationRe: ASUU Denies Reaching Agreement With FG by calamus(m): 10:16pm On Jan 09, 2019
Who do we believe now? ASUU or Federal Government?

Oh, it's an APC Government... I know what to do...

LiteratureRe: Number 225 Katakata Street by calamus(m): 8:29am On Jan 07, 2019
Yabroda:
I'm suspecting cosmas.

Thanks centino!
Your head no correct... grin grin Suspect Buhari too.
2 Likes
Foreign AffairsRe: Mark Zuckerberg Is The Biggest Billionaire Loser In 2018-see Current Net Worth by calamus(m): 6:16am On Jan 04, 2019
Hm.

Somebody lost the worth of Africa's richest man in one day! Good Lord!
Some "losing" is more dignifying than some "winning".
PoliticsRe: Amina Zakari: INEC Putting Nigeria’s Democracy Under Threat – Ohanaeze President by calamus(m): 5:13am On Jan 04, 2019
Isn't this the height of it? What sort of appointment is this?



booblacain:
Even an illiterate cannot talk like you are talking. I have nieces that are from Edo state by virtue of their father being from Edo state, I am not from Edo state.

Honestly, I am starting to believe that saying that you actually have to sound stupid to defend Buhari. What kind of bias will make a person loose ability to see how dumb what he is saying really is?
Excuse me sir, it's actually a side effect of being a zombie. This symptom is prevalent in zombies that have entered the advanced stage. Apart from this one, there is the other one in advanced stage too, one former almajiri a.boki boy, . Watch, that one follows everywhere like a fly... he will soon land here...

post=74431166:
Nuff said in all these.....

Next news please.....
Surprisingly, booblaclain, this news surprised even this zombie himself... I think the seunmsg zombie's stage is pre-mortem stage... undecided

Who has that picture for "I just rolled my eyes so hard I saw my brain"?
EducationRe: WAEC Result Upgrade Is Fake See Why You Should Not Do It by calamus(m): 6:23pm On Jan 02, 2019
wait first... does that mean that jibireen's WAEC result was truly a scam after all? I said it! That result was upgraded, but Chijioke would not listen...
LiteratureRe: Number 225 Katakata Street by calamus(m): 12:54pm On Dec 31, 2018
Just like someone rightly said, many writers have gone with the wind after trying to accede to readers' demands.

You know, you will just hear four or five people saying "get a site, monetize it", and the way they will say it over and over again, you will think it's like 1 million people saying it.

In your head, you have started multiplying 1 million by some number, and then you will na go and buy yourself beer and start drinking, and na publish book, that's when you will see it was only the compound people in your village that were pushing you...


grin grin grin

But I don't think so. Centino's story is like Super Story. It had small followership then when it started, but since we always discussed it at school and everywhere else, it piqued the interest of a lot of people, who in turn, became avid followers.

Centino, just like Youngzubi said, take the risk, not because you want to write for money, but because you want your freedom. Imagine mods banning you because you mentioned people you wanted to mention! angry angry

So, to cut the many ideas running around in my head short...

You will need YOUR OWN SITE, not just the literature section of someone else's site. The site shouldn't contain other stories, just Katakata Street (since we know the story goes on "perpetually" ) wink. Then you can have users subscribe to notifications, every time a story is published, which should be every Wednesday and Sunday, as is tradition.

As for monetizing, don't even think of getting Nigerians to pay cash; soon enough they will begin to think they "are doing you a favour".
Monetize your traffic - very soon, big brands will pay to advertise even though it is once a week. So you can have non-intrusive Google Ads and sponsored ad running on your site. Of course, the fact that you post twice a week doesn't mean people won't stray in once in a while.


Baba, I rest my case, when it enters such matters, I don't know how to stop talking. I wish you the best.
8 Likes

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