I use God beg you please don't come. Your madam would deal with you that confusion would be your name all your life and most especially don't handover the children over to her.
We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.
Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.
Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.
I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.
I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.
Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.
Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.
Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.
The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.
Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.
The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.
I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.
I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?
The worship experience is encouraging with the whites; they use instruments for their worship they are more concerned about the bible teaching. Tithe and offering are not spoken about. There is a box written offering and tithe your conscience is your judge.
Personally, if you can afford it. Avoid flats if you have small kids. Neighbours can be nosy + kids can be very noisy. So if you get bad neighbors it will be a constant tug of war. Thank God you guys escaped without issue.
There’s a current case now trending in Sheffield where social workers have taken away a couples 2 kids and there’s the threat that her unborn child will be taken too! Have you guys heard about it? The story is too long but so sad.
You are right my 3 year old boy will say "daddy and mummy stop shouting" . I am proud of the education they are getting , they will say Daddy this is not how this and this is pronounced and your sentence is wrong
Yes, we all need to unlearn and relearn this shouting issue.
My 2 year old is quick to say "mummy you shout on me" even when it's ot "shouting" he would rather you spoke to him in a calm way. And surprisingly, it works.
The noise in naija sef won't allow us talk normal. �
We live in a three bed flat ohhhh. After the police finished questioning the kids, If Daddy and Mummy beat them. The police apologized that the mail they received is very malicious, that the children they are seeing are well behaved and taken care off
I have been in the UK for 6 months now, my children have started school and its all fun they have been learning new things. A few advise for those coming with the family:
1) Once you come register with a GP. 2) Report yourself to the council they will advise you on schools nearby. 3) Look for a local white church, here in Scotland I attached the family to salvation army. They come every week to see that all is well, Christianity here is different from Nigeria. 4) Learn not to shout for your children, neighbors reported me and my wife that we are always shouting for the kids and police came to question the family. Always put fear on them that if they tell strangers that dad and mum beat them they will take them away
How did you settle your black American baby in 2018 or are you pulling our legs again
Ogalanyaidi: First I want peace in my home and I've been enjoying relative peace in my home.
I've been married for less than a year. I called my wife to discuss how we could keep the house clean and I went on to tell her that she puts things where they shouldn't be. She got upset and called her mum, she was crying while speaking with her mum over the phone.
Her mom called and we both made peace I discovered that she was recording our argument but I chose not to confront her there and then.
A day later, I asked why she was recording me and she lied but I gave her facts and she agreed. She said if I've nothing to fear why am I being upset about it. She said I should record her too cus she observed that when we speak to her mum after an incident I don't say the whole truth.
We both live overseas and she is the only person I've here.
Throw the phone away, he will charge you for robbery. Funny enough I have seen something like this in the police station or at most give it to a begger
[uote author=hotplay post=109888832]Good day Nairalanders, I need your advice. I had an encounter with a police officer yesterday along Ibadan-Abeokuta road. I will keep it brief and concise.
I boarded a bus from Ibadan to Abeokuta yesterday afternoon. Somewhere around Odeda, our bus was stopped at a police check point. I was apprehended by the officer who asked me to unlock my phone for him. I did as instructed and next he called me a cyber criminal without any evidence to proof. He immediately demanded I paid him 500k or I will be arrested and detained. I told him I can give him only 5k because I had a very important thing to do and I wouldn't want him to waste any of my precious time. The officer agreed and eventually I gave him cash of 3k because he didn't accept transfer for obvious reasons.
Before he searched my phone, he seized my bag and a nylon containing my shoes and my iPhone usb cord.
I unfortunately missed my bus because of delay, so I needed to board another bus immediately, so the officer helped me to stop a bus. He then handed me my bag and nylon. I was so pissed off and tried to cool off my head with a short nap. On getting to Abeokuta, I checked if the contents of my bag and nylon was intact but to my greatest surprise, I found a big android phone belonging to the police officer inside the nylon instead of my shoe and usb. He had unfortunately giving me a wrong nylon containing his own phone.
I have the phone with me now and I'm sincerely not willing to give it back. He has been calling and I don't know if I should change my mind.
What should I do guys? I'm confused. [/quote] Throw the phone away, he will charge you for robbery. Funny enough I have seen something like this in the police station or at most give it to a blind begger before they track you
drizslim: A video which recently surfaced on social media shows drama unfolding in the banking hall of a popular bank
It was gathered that three customers of the bank lost their monies at about the same time and when they complained, bank officials said that there is nothing they can do about it
This response was not well received as the customers created a fight scene inside the bank
Bank staff and security could be seen engaging the affected customers and some others in a heated exchange
One man believed to be affected could be seen being held back as he tried to get physical
My friend after 5 years of marriage love vanishes what remains is friendship. Love has no brain, If you start listening to her dictate it won't stop. Tomorrow she will tell you why your family is bad. If she can't submit to you leave her. You can still get better funk from another girl.
Congratulations!I just sent you a mail so that you can I can get your contact too to get some clarification about the city.I will be coming to Paisley too by December by God's grace with my family.Thank you
Coming to Scotland (Glasgow or Paisley), to be exact. I arrived with my family 23rd of September. It was not easy settling down, thanks to a beautiful Nigerian family I met here on Nairaland. They have never met me. However, they took the risk to stand as a guarantor for a three-bedroom flat. It's been God all the way. Please feel free to ask me a question of gratitude to this forum in my own little way.
Adebayo82: Please @justiwise, could you please share with me If you have any financial institution that I can get a loan, POF am presenting after my calculations for both maintenance and balance tuition fees is not close to what is needed as proof of financial evidence to run a master program . Pls kindly assist.
You only have 20hrs of work how do you intend to pay up the loan
If you are coming to the UK to hustle please sit back at home. You need maximum concentration here. The study is competitive. All the best. I have been here for a month now.
Please I need help or link from anyone in Scotland in securing an accommodation at Paisley, Scotland. I have been trying to get an accommodation, my travelling date is getting close. Thank you
LadyIE: Hello my people, I am applying to a school and there are different options on how the fee would be funded. The options are; Self-funded Funded Partially funded Seeking fund My spouse would fund about 75% of the fee while I would fund about 25%. What option should I go for? Thanks for your swift response
Visa Application: August 18 August for everyone( self applied)
Biometrics: August 19 for all at VI TLS
Visa type (Priority for Principal Applicant and Standard for spouse and child)
No Non Straight Forward e-mail, No Interview
Collection Mail : August 26 for the entire family
Passport Collected : Aug 26
Those expecting it will end in praise in Jesus name. Amen. @Justwise and other elders here you are blessed, please create a thread like this for post work so as to help Nigerians gain valuable experience.
Please show us the way o. Lead us through the right path, your excellency.
What I did was quite simple. I took yesterday off work and was refreshing every two hours. Booked: 2021- 08-19 9am appointment for me Booked: 2021- 08-19 10am appointment for my wife Booked: 2021- 08-19 12 pm appointment for my son
Oh well...i see a lot of people here using ''build'' account to get a visa and return the money when the visa is out or even before visa is out...then travel to the UK hoping to work and study to survive...if you do that then you are likely to work more than 20hrs a week during term time, which means your PSW application is in danger.
And you are also likely to fail one or two courses because you invested a lot of time trying to work to survive with little or no time to study.
Travel / Re: Married Guys That Relocated To The UK, Whats Your Experience by cdieli(m): 7:19pm On Oct 29, 2022 
before they track you