₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: RegisterLoginWith GoogleTrendingRecentNew

Stats: 3,325,084 members, 8,420,239 topics. Date: Thursday, 04 June 2026 at 02:21 PM

Toggle theme

Ceah's Posts

Nairaland ForumCeah's ProfileCeah's Posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 (of 26 pages)

PoliticsRe: What Meaningful Thing Has Jonathan Done Since He Resumed Office ? by ceah(op): 7:24pm On Aug 18, 2012
floriana: He has launched the cassava bread and Chinese energy saving bulbs.
dAMN MEANingFUL.... grin grin grin
Jokes EtcFulani Man And Lastma Official (LWKMD) by ceah(op): 7:21pm On Aug 18, 2012
A Fulani man was arrested in Lagos, by a group of LASTMA officials for driving on the BRT lane and his car was fined #50,000.
Despite all begging and pleadings, the LASTMA officials refused to release the car.
"Okay, may i know where you are towing my car to?" the Fulani man asked.
"We re taking it to Alausa" replied one of d LASTMA officials. "Ha-ha-ha-ha" the Fulani bursted into laughter. All d LASTMA officials were surprised and paid attention to him, wanting to know why he's laughing.
Immediately, the Fulani man brought out his phone began to speak this way"

"Abu Qaqa, Ina kwana? (Good morning in Hausa)
"No sir?
"Not less than 30min before it will explode"
"The car has been arrested...
"Only 20 out of those new bombs inside the car...
"They are taking the car to the targeted destination...Alausa!
"I am coming back to Yobe alive now.
"Thank you sir. Greet other faithfuls for me.
He rounded off his imaginary call. When he looked back, no Lastman was in sight.
He entered his car and sped off, saying "Shege, dan burouba..."=)) =)) =)) laffº°˚ ˚°º≈wanº°˚ ˚°º≈tearº°˚ ˚°º≈myº°˚ ˚°º≈belleº°˚ ˚°º≈=)) =)) =))
PoliticsRe: What Meaningful Thing Has Jonathan Done Since He Resumed Office ? by ceah(op): 10:55pm On Aug 16, 2012
Clerverly: We shall set up a commitee to look into it undecided
And we will set up a committee to look into why you are setting up a committee to look into it
PoliticsRe: What Meaningful Thing Has Jonathan Done Since He Resumed Office ? by ceah(op): 7:39pm On Aug 16, 2012
CyberG: Gold in corruption

Silver in Cassava breading

Bronze in BH
grin grin grin
PoliticsRe: The Presidents And The Olympic Medals - What Is Wrong With Jonathan ? by ceah(op): 7:36pm On Aug 16, 2012
Nothing! Nada!

Why is GEJ case different ?
PoliticsRe: What Meaningful Thing Has Jonathan Done Since He Resumed Office ? by ceah(op): 4:32pm On Aug 16, 2012
Atlanta'96 - Abacha
Gold - 2
Silver - 1
Bronze - 3
Total - 6

Sydney'00 - Obasanjo:
Gold - 1
Silver - 2
Bronze - 0
Total - 3

Athens'04 - Obasanjo:
Gold - 0
Silver - 0
Bronze - 2
Total - 2

Beijing'08 - Ya radua:
Gold - 0
Silver - 1
Bronze - 3
Total - 4

London'12 - Goodluck
Gold - 0
Silver - 0
Bronze - 0
Total - 0

...?
PoliticsThe Presidents And The Olympic Medals - What Is Wrong With Jonathan ? by ceah(op): 4:31pm On Aug 16, 2012
Atlanta'96 - Abacha
Gold - 2
Silver - 1
Bronze - 3
Total - 6

Sydney'00 - Obasanjo:
Gold - 1
Silver - 2
Bronze - 0
Total - 3

Athens'04 - Obasanjo:
Gold - 0
Silver - 0
Bronze - 2
Total - 2

Beijing'08 - Ya radua:
Gold - 0
Silver - 1
Bronze - 3
Total - 4

London'12 - Goodluck
Gold - 0
Silver - 0
Bronze - 0
Total - 0

...?
PoliticsRe: What Meaningful Thing Has Jonathan Done Since He Resumed Office ? by ceah(op): 12:31pm On Aug 15, 2012
kingoflag: Basically, "Go F**k yourselves, I'm not here to serve you. You're here to serve me and watch me eat $30,000/day meals, read N500Million newspapers, renovate my wife's office (even though its not recognized by the constitution) at a cost to the tax payers for $45.7Million, eat with utensils that cost N300million, go on all kinds of jamborees overseas with a retinue of aides---some of the conferences I won't even attend because I'll be so drunk from partying with my wife and celebrating her birthday the night before, order 200 Brand new cars for the pleasure of my wife and her homegirls, splurge and steal money like its going out of fashion then make you poor souls foot the bill by surprising you on the 1st of January with an increase in the prices of Gasoline products--- I'll do this while claiming the country will collapse if this increase is not made (even though I'm lying, but what you gonna do about it? I don't give a damn, remember?). I'll encourage my wife to become a Ghost worker and openly steal from the taxpayers by getting paid for services which she doesnt render, then, I'll further encourage her to clamor for a change in the constitution that'll enable her collect a pension as wife of the Ex-President of Nigeria. I'll do all these and more while majority of you all starve on $2/day. I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN. Oh, and Boko Haram are my siblings, so I can't hurt them, you guys will just have to deal with the bombings....." Lets not also forget that the biggest gangsters in the land are his homies.

The sins of this man are outrageous and the fact that he's still in power, tells a lot about the psyche of (a certain section of) Nigerians. This man should have been chased out of power a looooooong time ago and caged as a deterrent to others that might have the mindset that gaining power is a means for self-enrichment.
PoliticsWhat Meaningful Thing Has Jonathan Done Since He Resumed Office ? by ceah(op): 8:41pm On Aug 14, 2012
timilehin007: ....... What meaningful thing has he done since he resumed office..? Everything about him is absurd and negative his first name has opposite influence on Nigeria, even spoiltwise, under his tenure we didnt make it to last nations cup, siasia w̶̲̥̅̊α̇̇̇s rated one of did best in Nigeria, proved it under obj and Yaradua, he was a failure under badluck..for the first time we've been participating in an olympic even we couldnt win even a corper or boiling ring let alone bronze..see the truth his he had ambition for naija, he convinced us enough to believe so for the first time in my life i voted and ȋ̝̊̅̄τ̣̣̥ was for him. He didnt know how this bad things happens,his name has bin transformed to be badluck for Naija. From subsidy, to Boko haram, to namibia make it a must to get visa b4 entering thier country, even Ghana that is suppose to be our neighbour now beef us to the fullest. These national humiliations are way too much..he has failed period
I was reading thru one of the many numerous post on the politics section and saw the quote above. Truely, Uncle Jona has achieved nothing meaningful since assuming office. I am so shocked that even in sport we have not won anything and siasia as a good coach during GEJ reign as a king turn bad....Hmnnn! I don't understand ....My grandpa used to tell me "The name you give a child matters alot". Hmnnn! Goodluck is really working for this man as an entity and Jonathan is affecting Nigeria like the Jona in the Bible.

Again I ask : What meaningful thing has Jonathan done since he resumed office ?
PoliticsRe: Jonathan Should Call For Help – Tunde Bakare by ceah(m): 9:05am On Aug 13, 2012
Where is Uncle Reno Beaf Omkri and the 40 Laptops... grin
PoliticsRe: Jonathan Should Call For Help – Tunde Bakare by ceah(m): 9:04am On Aug 13, 2012
Nigeria will be better when other pastors as well call a spade a spade...
PoliticsRe: . by ceah(m): 6:30pm On Aug 01, 2012
All Hail the Mappist grin grin grin
PoliticsRe: The Looters’ Anthem – By Ogunyemi Bukola by ceah(op): 6:23pm On Aug 01, 2012
The Same guy wrote the scripture according to farooq
PoliticsRe: br by ceah(m): 8:04am On Aug 01, 2012
Becomerich...now u are also Uche ...without you nairaland will becomepoor....lol
PoliticsRe: The Looters’ Anthem – By Ogunyemi Bukola by ceah(op): 7:47am On Aug 01, 2012
The guy is very creative
PoliticsRe: Mr. President Attack Dogs, Dr. Doyin VS Dr. Reuben by ceah(m): 7:41pm On Jul 31, 2012
]
freebloke: ehm ehm... I bn tink sey abati na "bingo" yl doyin na "wisky" .
you guys are crazy grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
PoliticsThe Looters’ Anthem – By Ogunyemi Bukola by ceah(op): 7:23pm On Jul 31, 2012
The Looters’ Anthem

Arise O Lootatriots

The looter’s call obey

To loot our fatherland

With greed and zest and verve

The booties of our looters past

Shall never be recovered

To steal with patience and vigour

One nation ruled by bandits

Crooks and bribe-takers

 

O God of subsidy

Protect our bribery scams

Guide our looters right

Help our greed the loots to steal

In debts and terrorism we grow

And looting day and night

Fat foreign reserves plundered

To build a nation where luck

And cabals shall reign

 

PLEDGE:

I pledge to the umblerra of my party

To be greedy, clueless and corrupt

To loot Nigeria with all my strength

To defend our lootitude

And uphold our mansions and billions

So let us loot

 

Ogunyemi Bukola

Follow him on twitter: @zebbook

Blog: www.zebbook.com
Nairaland GeneralRe: Nairalanders' Real Professions: Guess What They Are? by ceah(m): 12:29am On Jul 29, 2012
lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
PoliticsRe: Message That Made U Laugh So Hard On Politics Section Since Nairaland Inception by ceah(op): 8:00pm On Jul 27, 2012
Where is becomrich/musiwa ?

Seun banned him or he left Canada ?B
PoliticsRe: List Of Pro-GEJ Paid Laptop Guys On Nairaland by ceah(m): 8:57pm On Jul 25, 2012
We Need to know the number of your Laptop please!

I know Uncle Reno Beaf Omkri is NO 1

He's being utilizing another laptop mostly nowadays that's why you hardly see the name "Beaf" come online...

Who is No 2 ? Billionaire... You cant...you just got your job June/July... grin grin grin
PoliticsMessage That Made U Laugh So Hard On Politics Section Since Nairaland Inception by ceah(op): 7:58pm On Jul 23, 2012
becomrich,:
Emeka Aloy, God have give me the power to cast out demon , Demons are responsible for your situation. If you where in canada, I would have help cast out the demon in your life. Demonic spirit are the one worry you.

Do you want me to help you cast out those demon in your life. They are in charge of your life. This is not ordinary.


Do you want me to help you. huh? There is a name and power I can use to help you. If you are willing, do you want to know it. The name cast out demon and when demon see him , they run. The power is able to turn a tree dry. And can make a human being to dry up and be well.

Aloy emeka, aloy Emeka, Aloy emeka, Do you want me to help you, I have authority and the key under that name. That when I use the name the demon in your life would disappear. Aloy Emeka, those demon can go today.

That power is in his blood, that name is greater than the names of president, more supreme that the power of the USA congress. It is a weapon more powerful than the atomic bomb.

Aloy emeka when I use this power on you this demon would disppear.

can I introduce you to this power and tell you the name.

Aloy this song is to the power I have. it never fails, it is a power that can deal with a president, wake up a dead man.

It says

In the name of jesus
In that name of Jesus
Satan will have to flee
In that name of Jesus
In that name of Jesus
Satan will have to flew
Halleluyah
When I Adesegun says that name of Jesus
Nothing have the power to oppose
In that name of Jesus
I Adesegun have the victory



Aloy there is no other name
Than that name of Jesus
There is no other name
Than that name of Jesus,
It is worth of the glory
Is worth of the honour and of praise
there is no other name.

I see Jesus,
I see Jesus
I see Jesus
In this place
Yes my soul does
It burn within me.
I see Jesus in this Place.

Aloy Emeka I am ready to cast that demon in you out.



Aloy emeka, when I use this name on those demon in your life
Aloy emeka, those demonic spirit would be gone.

Which city in the USA are you.
I am willing to come to your city and cast out those demonic spirit from you.
Each Time i rem this msg by becomerich/musiwa...i cant help rolling on the floor laughing...i even bookmark it Sef.

Oya! Please! after too much of political pressure and mumbo jombo today, we need a dose of laugh!

Can you add the message that got you laughing so hard since the inception of Nairaland... grin grin grin
PoliticsRe: Security Agents Demolish Makoko Waterfront Slum In Lagos by ceah(m): 12:00pm On Jul 17, 2012
@Dr Dre and CyberConnect12...
what have i done ooooo
cant i mention mukina2 again
afterall she's the dame of nairaland kingdom
PoliticsRe: Security Agents Demolish Makoko Waterfront Slum In Lagos by ceah(m): 7:23pm On Jul 16, 2012
grin grin grin

Mukina2
Jokes EtcRe: Jonathan Consult The Queen by ceah(op): 4:42pm On Jul 10, 2012
Please! Shut up guys...i dont care if you have seen the joke before or not...i saw something on facebook and it looks so interesting and decided to share with the reasonable ones here and you telling me jack...now dont get me angry.... grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes EtcRe: Jonathan Consult The Queen by ceah(op): 3:04pm On Jul 10, 2012
Front Page Please!!! grin
Jokes EtcJonathan Consult The Queen by ceah(op): 3:04pm On Jul 10, 2012
"President Jonathan met with the Queen of England and asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me? I want to help Nigeria"

"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Jonathan frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip off her cup of tea."Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."The Queen pushed a button on her intercom."Please...send David Cameron in here, would you? "

David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please. David, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good”, said the Queen.

Jonathan came back home and asked Namadi Sambo his Vice President the same question.

"Sambo,” he said, “Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure, said Sambo."Let me get back to you on this" He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, one night, he ran into Ngozi Okonjo Iwealla. Sambo asked,
“Ngozi, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Ngozi answered sharply, "That's easy, it's me!”

Sambo smiled, and said, "Thanks!" T hen, he went back to speak with Jonathan."Your Excellency, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Ngozi Okonjo Iwealla”

Jonathan got up angrily, frowning , he said to Sambo “No wonder Nigeria isn't moving forward, I don't have intelligent people around me.! You dummy! The answer is David Cameron!!!”
PoliticsRe: Oba Of Bini Refused GEJ In His Palace by ceah(m): 6:46pm On Jul 01, 2012
Beaf: I believe we should all be very careful with our utterances, especially for my Edo brothers. A very grave error was made when the Oba decided to see GEJ in camera, because the Oba is involved in politics. Now, the event is being used by non-Edo ACN members in a way the Oba would never have dreamt; has anyone read the incendiary articles in OsunDefender or http://www.olufamous.com/? They actually used the word, "disgraced." When you challenge authority to such a degree, there can be only one winner. Bye bye Oshiomole. cool

I am sure the Oba will tender explanations by tomorrow, but its likely too late. Traditional rulers should be politically neutral.
Uncle Reno Beaf Omkri...you don't have a life...you even work on Sunday and still at work at 6pm with over 40 laptops...I pity your life ooooo
PoliticsRe: The PDP Bible: The Book Of Jonathan Chapter 1 Verse 1 - 26 by ceah(op): 12:46pm On Jun 16, 2012
This is Hilarious. I decided to Share...
PoliticsThe PDP Bible: The Book Of Jonathan Chapter 1 Verse 1 - 26 by ceah(op): 12:42pm On Jun 16, 2012
Jonathan Chapter 1 Verse 1 - 26

1) And it came to pass after these things, on the first day of the first month of the twelfth year after the second millennium, that king Jona son of Bele announced to the people saying; there is no money left in the royal treasury, and the future of the kingdom is in great danger.

2) Therefore, a measure of oil shall no longer sell for three scores of silver and seven, but shall now be seven scores of silver and one. But the people grumbled aloud, and said unto another, what shall it profit our king to gain all these oil money and lose his throne?

3) For it is appointed unto him to reign but once, and after this prison, for many are the atrocities which he has committed.

4) So they said unto the king, eat thou thy food in peace in the palace, and surround thou thyself with thine women, only touch not our oil price and do thy people no harm.

5) But the king would not listen, and said unto himself, I know my people, they shall only grumble for a while and soon they shall forget.

6) But the people would not forget, for the burden was too much for them to bear, and they said; now unto him that is able to increase the price of oil exceeding abundantly above all that his people can bear or think, according to the greed which worketh in him;

7) Unto him be curses in the streets by the masses throughout all ages, protests without end.

So they took to the streets and gave the land no peace, and there was no going out or coming in throughout the kingdom for two weeks, and the king feared greatly and said to himself, surely these people shall overturn me if I answer them not.

9) So he called the head of the labourers unto the palace, and gave him bags of gold, that he mayest turn off the wrath of the people against the king.

10) So the king assembled the people and said unto them; a measure of oil shall no longer be seven scores of silver and one, but shall now be four scores of silver, one dozen and five, to this your leaders have agreed. Praise me now therefore for I am a benevolent king.

11) And after all these, the Loudspeaker of the House of People said, let us inquire into the king’s claim that there be no money in the royal treasury. So they appointed Farcrook, son of Lawal.

12) And said unto him, gather ye now all the oil sellers, that we may know who stole from the kingdom. This did him with diligence, and came back with his report saying

13) Thieves abound in the land, and so have the oil sellers stole from the people, and gave them not oil, this they did with the help of Aliyaro the king’s mistress; and the amount he mentioned was unheard of in the land.

14) When the people heard this, they were dismayed, and sorrow gripped their hearts.

15) But the oil sellers went in unto the king in his chamber, and said; rememberest thou O king that the what we stole did we make available to thy campaign, and by thus did we make you king.

16) If thou deliver us unto the people that they may punish us, we will hold not our tongue to tell the people that thou art one of us.

17) And they said unto him, how else shall we destroy the message if not to destroy the messenger? Let us therefore implicate Farcrook the son of Lawal in this matter.

18) So they sent a certain rich man from the West by the name Otedollar, and he took Farcrook into his house and gave him some money, that he may alter the report which he had set before the people.

19) And it was that Otedollar went before an assembly of the people and said unto them, trust ye this man who said we stole from the treasury? Surely he is one of us, for he came unto me in the middle of the night, and he left with his pockets full of money.

20) And the people where amazed, and their hearts bled, for Farcrook was a man in whom they had put their trust.

21) So Farcrook arose, and said; Otedollar is my briber, I did not request. He maketh me to sit down in his Maitama house; he leadeth me beside the chilled champagne.

22) He exploited my greed; he leadeth me in the path of marked dollars for subsidy’s sake.

23) Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of EFCC, I will fear no arrest: for bribes are with me; my loots and my kickbacks they comfort me.

24) Thou preparest the dollars before me, in the presence of the SSS: thou anointest my mouth with wine; my pocket runneth over.

25) Surely the shame and reproach shall follow me all the days of my life, but I will dwell in the house of PDP forever and ever.

26) And the people wept, but there was no one to console them.
PoliticsRe: Reuben Abati’s Tweet Over Dana Air Crash Stirs Anger by ceah(m): 10:32am On Jun 08, 2012
Beaf is Reno Confirmed and Reno is Beaf...

Uncle Reno Good Morning,,,

Have u Resumed...
PoliticsRe: UNILAG Renaming Noble But Illegal, Says Abiola's Lawyer Afe Babalola by ceah(m): 12:10pm On Jun 01, 2012
Uncle Beaf Reno Omkri...Have you decided to change your name to "Goat Jonathan Asslicker"

Winsches will no longer be attacking you everywhere on NL if you could do that...

Uncle Reno...Good Morning...wink
PoliticsRe: Democracy Day Church Service: GEJ Refuse To Say "Amen" To Anti-corruption Prayer by ceah(m): 12:29pm On May 30, 2012
You will never find uncle Reno Beaf on this Thread...lol grin

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 (of 26 pages)