Ceah's Posts
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floriana: He has launched the cassava bread and Chinese energy saving bulbs.dAMN MEANingFUL.... ![]() |
A Fulani man was arrested in Lagos, by a group of LASTMA officials for driving on the BRT lane and his car was fined #50,000. Despite all begging and pleadings, the LASTMA officials refused to release the car. "Okay, may i know where you are towing my car to?" the Fulani man asked. "We re taking it to Alausa" replied one of d LASTMA officials. "Ha-ha-ha-ha" the Fulani bursted into laughter. All d LASTMA officials were surprised and paid attention to him, wanting to know why he's laughing. Immediately, the Fulani man brought out his phone began to speak this way" "Abu Qaqa, Ina kwana? (Good morning in Hausa) "No sir? "Not less than 30min before it will explode" "The car has been arrested... "Only 20 out of those new bombs inside the car... "They are taking the car to the targeted destination...Alausa! "I am coming back to Yobe alive now. "Thank you sir. Greet other faithfuls for me. He rounded off his imaginary call. When he looked back, no Lastman was in sight. He entered his car and sped off, saying "Shege, dan burouba..."=)) =)) =)) laffº°˚ ˚°º≈wanº°˚ ˚°º≈tearº°˚ ˚°º≈myº°˚ ˚°º≈belleº°˚ ˚°º≈=)) =)) =)) |
Clerverly: We shall set up a commitee to look into itAnd we will set up a committee to look into why you are setting up a committee to look into it |
CyberG: Gold in corruption ![]() |
Nothing! Nada! Why is GEJ case different ? |
Atlanta'96 - Abacha Gold - 2 Silver - 1 Bronze - 3 Total - 6 Sydney'00 - Obasanjo: Gold - 1 Silver - 2 Bronze - 0 Total - 3 Athens'04 - Obasanjo: Gold - 0 Silver - 0 Bronze - 2 Total - 2 Beijing'08 - Ya radua: Gold - 0 Silver - 1 Bronze - 3 Total - 4 London'12 - Goodluck Gold - 0 Silver - 0 Bronze - 0 Total - 0 ...? |
Atlanta'96 - Abacha Gold - 2 Silver - 1 Bronze - 3 Total - 6 Sydney'00 - Obasanjo: Gold - 1 Silver - 2 Bronze - 0 Total - 3 Athens'04 - Obasanjo: Gold - 0 Silver - 0 Bronze - 2 Total - 2 Beijing'08 - Ya radua: Gold - 0 Silver - 1 Bronze - 3 Total - 4 London'12 - Goodluck Gold - 0 Silver - 0 Bronze - 0 Total - 0 ...? |
kingoflag: Basically, "Go F**k yourselves, I'm not here to serve you. You're here to serve me and watch me eat $30,000/day meals, read N500Million newspapers, renovate my wife's office (even though its not recognized by the constitution) at a cost to the tax payers for $45.7Million, eat with utensils that cost N300million, go on all kinds of jamborees overseas with a retinue of aides---some of the conferences I won't even attend because I'll be so drunk from partying with my wife and celebrating her birthday the night before, order 200 Brand new cars for the pleasure of my wife and her homegirls, splurge and steal money like its going out of fashion then make you poor souls foot the bill by surprising you on the 1st of January with an increase in the prices of Gasoline products--- I'll do this while claiming the country will collapse if this increase is not made (even though I'm lying, but what you gonna do about it? I don't give a damn, remember?). I'll encourage my wife to become a Ghost worker and openly steal from the taxpayers by getting paid for services which she doesnt render, then, I'll further encourage her to clamor for a change in the constitution that'll enable her collect a pension as wife of the Ex-President of Nigeria. I'll do all these and more while majority of you all starve on $2/day. I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN. Oh, and Boko Haram are my siblings, so I can't hurt them, you guys will just have to deal with the bombings....." Lets not also forget that the biggest gangsters in the land are his homies. |
timilehin007: ....... What meaningful thing has he done since he resumed office..? Everything about him is absurd and negative his first name has opposite influence on Nigeria, even spoiltwise, under his tenure we didnt make it to last nations cup, siasia w̶̲̥̅̊α̇̇̇s rated one of did best in Nigeria, proved it under obj and Yaradua, he was a failure under badluck..for the first time we've been participating in an olympic even we couldnt win even a corper or boiling ring let alone bronze..see the truth his he had ambition for naija, he convinced us enough to believe so for the first time in my life i voted and ȋ̝̊̅̄τ̣̣̥ was for him. He didnt know how this bad things happens,his name has bin transformed to be badluck for Naija. From subsidy, to Boko haram, to namibia make it a must to get visa b4 entering thier country, even Ghana that is suppose to be our neighbour now beef us to the fullest. These national humiliations are way too much..he has failed periodI was reading thru one of the many numerous post on the politics section and saw the quote above. Truely, Uncle Jona has achieved nothing meaningful since assuming office. I am so shocked that even in sport we have not won anything and siasia as a good coach during GEJ reign as a king turn bad....Hmnnn! I don't understand ....My grandpa used to tell me "The name you give a child matters alot". Hmnnn! Goodluck is really working for this man as an entity and Jonathan is affecting Nigeria like the Jona in the Bible. Again I ask : What meaningful thing has Jonathan done since he resumed office ? |
Where is Uncle Reno Beaf Omkri and the 40 Laptops... ![]() |
Nigeria will be better when other pastors as well call a spade a spade... |
All Hail the Mappist ![]() |
The Same guy wrote the scripture according to farooq |
Becomerich...now u are also Uche ...without you nairaland will becomepoor....lol |
The guy is very creative |
] freebloke: ehm ehm... I bn tink sey abati na "bingo" yl doyin na "wisky" .you guys are crazy ![]() |
The Looters’ Anthem Arise O Lootatriots The looter’s call obey To loot our fatherland With greed and zest and verve The booties of our looters past Shall never be recovered To steal with patience and vigour One nation ruled by bandits Crooks and bribe-takers O God of subsidy Protect our bribery scams Guide our looters right Help our greed the loots to steal In debts and terrorism we grow And looting day and night Fat foreign reserves plundered To build a nation where luck And cabals shall reign PLEDGE: I pledge to the umblerra of my party To be greedy, clueless and corrupt To loot Nigeria with all my strength To defend our lootitude And uphold our mansions and billions So let us loot Ogunyemi Bukola Follow him on twitter: @zebbook Blog: www.zebbook.com |
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Where is becomrich/musiwa ? Seun banned him or he left Canada ?B |
We Need to know the number of your Laptop please! I know Uncle Reno Beaf Omkri is NO 1 He's being utilizing another laptop mostly nowadays that's why you hardly see the name "Beaf" come online... Who is No 2 ? Billionaire... You cant...you just got your job June/July... ![]() |
becomrich,:Each Time i rem this msg by becomerich/musiwa...i cant help rolling on the floor laughing...i even bookmark it Sef. Oya! Please! after too much of political pressure and mumbo jombo today, we need a dose of laugh! Can you add the message that got you laughing so hard since the inception of Nairaland... ![]() |
@Dr Dre and CyberConnect12... what have i done ooooo cant i mention mukina2 again afterall she's the dame of nairaland kingdom |
![]() Mukina2 |
Please! Shut up guys...i dont care if you have seen the joke before or not...i saw something on facebook and it looks so interesting and decided to share with the reasonable ones here and you telling me jack...now dont get me angry.... ![]() |
Front Page Please!!! ![]() |
"President Jonathan met with the Queen of England and asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me? I want to help Nigeria" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Jonathan frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip off her cup of tea."Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."The Queen pushed a button on her intercom."Please...send David Cameron in here, would you? " David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please. David, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good”, said the Queen. Jonathan came back home and asked Namadi Sambo his Vice President the same question. "Sambo,” he said, “Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure, said Sambo."Let me get back to you on this" He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, one night, he ran into Ngozi Okonjo Iwealla. Sambo asked, “Ngozi, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Ngozi answered sharply, "That's easy, it's me!” Sambo smiled, and said, "Thanks!" T hen, he went back to speak with Jonathan."Your Excellency, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Ngozi Okonjo Iwealla” Jonathan got up angrily, frowning , he said to Sambo “No wonder Nigeria isn't moving forward, I don't have intelligent people around me.! You dummy! The answer is David Cameron!!!” |
Beaf: I believe we should all be very careful with our utterances, especially for my Edo brothers. A very grave error was made when the Oba decided to see GEJ in camera, because the Oba is involved in politics. Now, the event is being used by non-Edo ACN members in a way the Oba would never have dreamt; has anyone read the incendiary articles in OsunDefender or http://www.olufamous.com/? They actually used the word, "disgraced." When you challenge authority to such a degree, there can be only one winner. Bye bye Oshiomole.Uncle Reno Beaf Omkri...you don't have a life...you even work on Sunday and still at work at 6pm with over 40 laptops...I pity your life ooooo |
This is Hilarious. I decided to Share... |
Jonathan Chapter 1 Verse 1 - 26 1) And it came to pass after these things, on the first day of the first month of the twelfth year after the second millennium, that king Jona son of Bele announced to the people saying; there is no money left in the royal treasury, and the future of the kingdom is in great danger. 2) Therefore, a measure of oil shall no longer sell for three scores of silver and seven, but shall now be seven scores of silver and one. But the people grumbled aloud, and said unto another, what shall it profit our king to gain all these oil money and lose his throne? 3) For it is appointed unto him to reign but once, and after this prison, for many are the atrocities which he has committed. 4) So they said unto the king, eat thou thy food in peace in the palace, and surround thou thyself with thine women, only touch not our oil price and do thy people no harm. 5) But the king would not listen, and said unto himself, I know my people, they shall only grumble for a while and soon they shall forget. 6) But the people would not forget, for the burden was too much for them to bear, and they said; now unto him that is able to increase the price of oil exceeding abundantly above all that his people can bear or think, according to the greed which worketh in him; 7) Unto him be curses in the streets by the masses throughout all ages, protests without end. So they took to the streets and gave the land no peace, and there was no going out or coming in throughout the kingdom for two weeks, and the king feared greatly and said to himself, surely these people shall overturn me if I answer them not. 9) So he called the head of the labourers unto the palace, and gave him bags of gold, that he mayest turn off the wrath of the people against the king. 10) So the king assembled the people and said unto them; a measure of oil shall no longer be seven scores of silver and one, but shall now be four scores of silver, one dozen and five, to this your leaders have agreed. Praise me now therefore for I am a benevolent king. 11) And after all these, the Loudspeaker of the House of People said, let us inquire into the king’s claim that there be no money in the royal treasury. So they appointed Farcrook, son of Lawal. 12) And said unto him, gather ye now all the oil sellers, that we may know who stole from the kingdom. This did him with diligence, and came back with his report saying 13) Thieves abound in the land, and so have the oil sellers stole from the people, and gave them not oil, this they did with the help of Aliyaro the king’s mistress; and the amount he mentioned was unheard of in the land. 14) When the people heard this, they were dismayed, and sorrow gripped their hearts. 15) But the oil sellers went in unto the king in his chamber, and said; rememberest thou O king that the what we stole did we make available to thy campaign, and by thus did we make you king. 16) If thou deliver us unto the people that they may punish us, we will hold not our tongue to tell the people that thou art one of us. 17) And they said unto him, how else shall we destroy the message if not to destroy the messenger? Let us therefore implicate Farcrook the son of Lawal in this matter. 18) So they sent a certain rich man from the West by the name Otedollar, and he took Farcrook into his house and gave him some money, that he may alter the report which he had set before the people. 19) And it was that Otedollar went before an assembly of the people and said unto them, trust ye this man who said we stole from the treasury? Surely he is one of us, for he came unto me in the middle of the night, and he left with his pockets full of money. 20) And the people where amazed, and their hearts bled, for Farcrook was a man in whom they had put their trust. 21) So Farcrook arose, and said; Otedollar is my briber, I did not request. He maketh me to sit down in his Maitama house; he leadeth me beside the chilled champagne. 22) He exploited my greed; he leadeth me in the path of marked dollars for subsidy’s sake. 23) Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of EFCC, I will fear no arrest: for bribes are with me; my loots and my kickbacks they comfort me. 24) Thou preparest the dollars before me, in the presence of the SSS: thou anointest my mouth with wine; my pocket runneth over. 25) Surely the shame and reproach shall follow me all the days of my life, but I will dwell in the house of PDP forever and ever. 26) And the people wept, but there was no one to console them. |
Beaf is Reno Confirmed and Reno is Beaf... Uncle Reno Good Morning,,, Have u Resumed... |
Uncle Beaf Reno Omkri...Have you decided to change your name to "Goat Jonathan Asslicker" Winsches will no longer be attacking you everywhere on NL if you could do that... Uncle Reno...Good Morning... ![]() |
You will never find uncle Reno Beaf on this Thread...lol ![]() |

? There is a name and power I can use to help you. If you are willing, do you want to know it. The name cast out demon and when demon see him , they run. The power is able to turn a tree dry. And can make a human being to dry up and be well. 
