Jakama90:

Send him or her back or last last expell him from your school, but you got no damn right to cut the hair..

Oyindidi:
They will soon cry their eyes out cos of this post. Let me bring the bucket for their tears

merahki:
Gosh dear, darling, you, you have zero sense of humour.
Nada.
Zilch.
Notin.
Kosi nkoko.
Chaa chaa.
If being okay translated to being as humourless and cheerless and angry as you? I would happily go through life stark raving mad

Meanwhile you completely misunderstood my initial post...in your angry quest to come and show your correcting/reprimanding skills. You also want me to “give” to your satisfaction? What would I not see on Nairaland, hehehehehehe.
That “do not quote me again” line is very boring especially as you mentioned me first? I was minding my business, on my not okay lane, and you swooped in on my post, in your “very sane”manner and proceeded to suck the life out of my living life with your cheerlessness.
I leave you to stew the more...you, you crashing bore

yeyeosoronga:
What danger or dire situation is her daughter in, that she needed to be protected from in the marriage? How has the husband proven his daughter is more important than the marriage?
By taking the child away from the mother and leaving her with an aunty?

At second bolded, should the husband have kicked out/removed the pregnancy and not left it in her?

You give very strange interpretations to events.

yeyeosoronga:
She hasn't come to solicit for funds from you or anyone else on NL, so why are you asking her for a financial plan?
Do you want to give her money as laid upon your heart by the Almighty?
You can send her a PM if your mind is asking you to give her children something from the bottom of your heart.
Remember she is a full grown woman with 3 children and another on the way. She sounds like a reasonable mother.
She has her own business she is running.
I think she will be fine providing for her children.
They will not starve and if living in a bigger apartment is costing too much, she can move to a smaller one to save costs.

eledacedar:
There was no where in the initial report that the school's penalty was to cut the student's hair.

They just took the law into their hands. At least by now the teachers know what a police/prison cell looks like.

Graxie:
Let me help you with the answer, oh well it's her cross after all she decided to be married after having two kids from another man, she deserves whatever she is getting because the man is not bad. The man did her a favor by marrying her, a whole after two. She is suppose to keep begging even if her son is thrown out or she can dump him in his father's house after all he is a thief. She would have calm down and be submissive while giving her husband kpekus every night even when her mind is not their because he owns her body. Her being pregnant and possibly developing bp in pregnancy doesn't count as long as the man is satisfied and she has a covering in the name of husband. Her kids emotional stability is very important while her son becomes a wonderer. You know most of you cheering her up will not be there when she needs a man to massage her. They don't care if she dies due to bp, they will type Rip after all, her sin have consequences. This is what you will be reading in different ways until this thread reaches 1k pages. It has been like that, no new addition.

Jman06:
Why you dey laf I hope you read my posts on this thread from the beginning?

Jman06:
What was this man's intent when he initially agreed to accept the woman and her kids from onset Why is he now reneging on the agreement with the flimsy excuse of tagging a 12years old boy a thief! If he has another reason for refusing to accept the boy, let him explain! As far as I am concerned he has not given a tangible reason! I suspect that he might have some other ulterior reasons!

Honestly, if this man was kept in the dark as par the existence of these kids, then he'll be right to react in the manner he is reacting now. His action presently paints the picture of a scammer with some sinister motives or an immature boy who cannot stand by his words like responsible men do.

For how long do you think the madam should have begged before the man agrees to accept the boy For crying out loud, they had been on the issue for three good years and the man refused! Pressure was being mounted on the woman from her brother to come and take the boy, what would you have her do in that situation

I honestly think the man was unreasonable for deciding not to take the boy in.
THOSE WHO PRIZE MUST BE READY TO PAY

bukatyne:
This is the OP's first post:

[b]I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him. [/b]

1. The husband accepted her children as his and they both agreed that after their marriage, they would move in with the new couple.

2. For whatever reason, they could not accommodate both kids and took in the little girl while the boy was sent to her brother.

3. After three years, things are better for them and there is a space for the boy.

4. At the same time, the OP's son started stealing and her brother accommodating him told her to pick him up.

5. She pleaded with her husband and he said no because he doesn't want the boy to damage the children.

6. The OP became angry and came to NL.

So at what point did she state that she begged her husband for three years? The OP told us same husband was warm towards her kids and was reluctant to take the boy in because of his stealing habit. At the point of the story, the husband still said 'he doesn't want the boy to damage the kids' meaning he had accepted the younger girl fully as his own daughter and looked out for her.

I have deliberately ignored all the insults to yourself because of the sensitivity of this story.

I also came back to lay open the OP's post so that people can see the husband is not a monster and she has not been begging him for 3 years like you and others have been parading.

"Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him...."

Ardar:
The woman in question just confirmed that her husband dumped the little girl with his sister

He obviously can't take care of a two year old, but wickedness won't let him see to reason.

You see this thing called ego? It can make a man behave like a fool.

Jman06:
Be strong madam, you'll be fine!
See the small boy they call "thief"

That man is a scammer!

eniolorunfe:
See fine children

God bless you momma! You will reap the fruit of your labour and your children will bring you only Joy all the days of your life in Jesus name!!! (amen)


***A man that cannot be a covering to the woman he married has no business marrying her in the first place***

rayvelez:
You the HUSBAND that married a single mom of 2 why did u moved in them and not ur own house.
You lost that respect the very first day you moved in with them.

bukatyne:
@bold:

I am forced to agree with you at this point.

Husband took the daughter, said he did not want the son coming to pollute the children. Instead of madam to plead that her son needs fatherly attention hence the misbehavior and even draft her husband in, she listened to people who told her to damn her marriage and bring the boy.

She did, and her husband took his daughter in. For the first time, he drew a line between the kids. She still wasn't worried. Some people told her to beg the man since she has succeeded in bringing her son home; she said LA.

Husbandman has taken his daughter (since each person's kids is now more important than the union) she is now praying midnight prayers.

If she handled it well, in some months or weeks, the man would even be the one bounding with the son over man activities and teaching him stuff.

All the people edging her on would not
1. Tolerate their husbands to bring in his child without their agreement.
2. Tolerate their wives doing same.

Some witnessed their aunties/uncles begging the spouse to let them stay.

But you know, let's be woke and say things good for the internet.

At the end, everyone would log off and mind their business.

The OP would now be on her own.

Resurgent2016:
No problem madam. From my little knowledge finance, this Lady will likely run into some financial difficulties soon.
- she only paid six month rent in advance
- she is pregnant and doesnt and will likely have to shut her business down as the due date approaches
- family members who will threaten to throw out her kid will likely not be of much help
- she has two mouths to feed and one in the pipeline

I'll advice you reach out to her and let her know you are available to help whenever the need arises. Put your money where your mouth is....

Graxie:
I have been here for a long time, I know how they roll. You see why I hate a woman getting pregnant aside marriage and asking for what to do? I hate it with passion because I know what they will tell her. It's so annoying seeing most young girls doing same, again and again. Most of them didn't marry as a virgin but are very fast in codeming single mom, I keep telling women, any man that can't afford 50 naira or 100 naira condom shouldn't even near you. As per their ways, they are ready to manufacture all manner of stories to make the woman feel bad, now the story is that she didn't know her first husband family when she clearly stated that they treated her badly. I know how they reason, it's normal.

Graxie:
like I said, you can never get any reasonable response. The idea is always to ridicule the woman, their own bible abhore divorce while encouraging a woman to abandon her son. To them, a single mom is meant to die miserable in marriage because of her past. It's truly pathetic.

bukatyne:
O Intelligent one,

It is only money that is used to train a child?

I am only pointing out that you haven't shown empathy is this case.

Considering you think it is only money that is used to train a child, I am not surprised you advice the woman to dispose of her marriage so easily.

eledacedar:
So cutting the child's hair in school is a better sanction to sending the child home to go and meet the parents who have refused to do the needful?

Let's be realistic biko

Forget my sacarsm on other points.

bukatyne:
Congratulations, Emotionally Intelligent Human.

Except you are going to give her emotional support/assist in getting her daughter/financial support etc. OFFLINE and willing to do so on a continuous basis, you are just 'sympathizing' with her.

Empathy is an action word.

bukatyne:
You feel her pain from behind your device?

Hahahahahahaha.

Resurgent2016:
I read the thread and all ops post. Without dragging this issue further, let me ask you these questions:

1. If the man has accepted one of the children from the former relationship, is there a possibility that he will accept this one also if the concerns he raised are addressed?

2. Are the man's concern valid?

3. Did the lady make any effort to address them?

4. Do you honestly think that there are only two possible scenearios in this case and no compromise can be reached as some people here are suggesting?

5. I promised to love my wife's family as my own, if I refuse to take one of her relations under my roof (even if it her blood brother), will it make sense for my wife to blatantly disregard my opposition and bring him/ her in

6. Many of us lived with relationship in our homes, go and ask the women how they managed their husbands to make it work because most men will naturally oppose it.

From my view, the lady is tired of the relationship and just wants to pull the plug but needs a valid reason. She has derided her husband at any opportunity she has gotten and does not even consider the possibility of dialogue or compromise.

I rest my case and wish her the best

Graxie:
My dear right from the beginning of this thread, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

Adults tagging a 12years old boy thief and expecting the mother to dump him just to remain married. Some even advice her to take him to boarding school and make other arrangements.

I have been telling women, you can't raise a damaged child without consequences. Majority of these people came out from dysfunctional homes and so, their humanity is gone.

They don't feel any remorse when dishing out wickedness.

I thank God for the Op, she has means to take care of her kids. Let her count her losses, many married women are only enduring marriage because our society sees divorcees as sinners.

Let her fight to get her daughter from the sister and learn her lesson. I bet you she is even better than most Mrs.

gbagyiza:
The moment he mentioned things like tiny waist, fat ass n others equating her to them models, I knew he is not serious. I thank God the lady sharply coded your motives n she decline your request. You r lusting after her, the moment you slept with her, u r done. You see the truth is that you r not ready for marriage n when u r ready, your approach to things will change n that will equally convince any serious lady to accept you.

klax:
Really Its only stupid person that know who is stupid. Meaning: You klax are the first stupid before any other.

You want to open floor for bashing bah Nice one its you that will dissappear las las.

Any more shit from you......?

bigiyaro:
you can go and hang yourself! gone are the days when sadistic sadists like you used to run schools, we have more enlightened proprietors now, thats why your kind of backward school are just empty classes with dull teachers.

bukatyne:
First, I would advise you take out your kids from your post.

Secondly, no matter how you are been cheered here, single motherhood with four kids from two different fathers IS NOT an ideal situation. Every child needs their father and mother to become rounded.

You had prior experience and know how uneasy it was to fend for two kids alone mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc. hence you getting married again.

I can cheer you 'power woman'!, 'go girl' etc. however, I will give you advise that would make me sleep at night because I know I will give account of the intention of my posts.

Your husband accepting your daughter and telling you the reason why he did not want your son in the house tells me with little persuasion, he would have bulged and right now, you will have a big happy family.

Instead, you brought him home and ignored your husband when some posters advised you to beg your husband and mend things after you brought him home telling us you did not care.

Your son is 12 years old and wise enough to know what is going on around him. He will forever carry the burden to ruining 'mommy's marriage with her husband'. All we said was 'placate your husband to warm up to accommodating and fathering your son.'

If your husband was abusing any of your kids or you or adulterous, this would have been an icing on the cake to end it.

But for an issue that can be resolved? Madam I beg you, please resolve this issue for your children's sake. Resolve this issue for the future. I am sure the people here will not throw their marriage away for what can be mended. You are pregnant now and should be pampered by your husband and getting back rubs not stressing yourself praying at 12am for what is not.

I don't know where you are living. FG is planning lockdown for two weeks in Lagos and Abuja. How do you stay at home with two kids and a protruding tummy?

Mend you home and reach an agreeable solution with your husband.

What conflict resolution skills are you teaching your children? How would they learn to negotiate and compromise?

My goal is for you, husband and children to live together in love and unity.

I wish you all the best.

bukatyne:
She loved the man abi?

Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I am very happy to have my son , I feel good that I did not abandon him just for a man who never love me , he just come to my life for the world to see him as a hero for marrying me a single mother of 2.

I have no gained anything in this marriage , it’s better for me to be a single mother than to reject my blood and flesh. I know it will not be easy but God will help me to raise my children all alone.

I thank God I have my shop something that fetched me money , my children will never starved of anger , they will go to school as usual and nothing will change. For now all I want is for him to bring my child back to me because he cannot take care of her, at the moment my child is with his sister so what’s the point of taking her away from me then to abandon her with his sister ?

The same sister that cannot even love her own blood and flesh so is she gonna love my child too? If he wanted to take care of his daughter on his own why can’t he rent a place and take care of her ?

He did it because he taught by doing so , I will send my son on the street so I can beg him to come back home , never , all I’m begging him to do is to bring back my child , she is the one that I need , I don’t need him , he can go ahead and remarry , it will not shake me .

You and others can rain insults on me but let me tell you one thing , all your insult doesn’t bother me , I’m not regretting loosing my marriage because I did what any true mother in my position would have do in my shoe.

Like I said my son will always be first, no matter what. Let me attached the picture of the 3 people that gives me happiness my children my life.

klax:
This is not the time for all these your jackie wackies. Too outdated discussion or topic.

Thanks.

Proletariat:
I would have engaged you in a debate, but seeing from the bolded text that you assume the poor are less human and not entitled to human rights as the rich, I will let you wallow in your mental slavery.

Luckily, the parents of the kid know they have rights, a right obviously acknowledged by the police who made the arrest.

Their ignorance of the law is punishable as the teachers have learnt, proceed to also physically assault someone on the pretext of teaching manners and etiquette and you will learn yours too.

Go and visit the arrested teachers in police cell and commiserate with them.