₦airaland Forum

arinze198:
Source: https://pmexpressng.com/teachers-sent-to-prison-for-shaving-pupils-hair/

veykey:
As per she's a baby carrying machine that after nine months and going through the pains of giving birth, he'll then come and carry the child. Kai!!! It's better for a woman to have a miscarriage than that happening. Do you know the agony? No you don't because you're a man and you think everything is by muscle and force.

OkpaNsukkaisBae:
Common sense fall on you

MrBrownJay1:
bwaaaaaah! you were so hellbent on FORCING this man to accept that child, while what happened is exactly what i have been telling you all this time.... sadly, let me correct you, this lady didnt take a decision on this issue, the man did and LEFT HER AND TOOK HIS BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER TOO.

OluwasureGig:
Hi nairalanders, I know the world is battling coronavirus and I probably shouldn't be talking about this at the moment but I could use your advice just incase we all survive this pandemic that has so bedeviled us.

I'm a young man in my mid-twenties and by this time last year I was broke and had a very poor account balance but by the Grace of God things are different now. My business is booming and I'm balling. Now I'm the type of guy that likes to look good and smell nice always, and this might just have proven to be my Achilles heel

It happens that there's this extremely beautiful girl I've been crushing on in church and I finally made my move this Sunday. We got talking and exchanged numbers. Now this girl is like my dream girl; she's very very beautiful facially, tall, has a fat ass, perky boobs, flat stomach and very straight legs. She basically looks like them models we see on IG

The problem is I asked her out and she said she can't date me because she thinks that I'm "too clean" and would therefore cheat on her as a result. I've tried all I can to make her change her perception but she is not coming along. Please what do I do or say to this girl to make her date and marry me because I've already sworn that she'll be my last bus stop in the dating world.

Please your advice will be duely appreciated. Thanks

MrBrownJay1:
the fact that this man doesnt want this child in his home is the only thing that we are certain of....all the rest is just speculation. didnt the man left this woman and took his daughter away? that should be a confirmation that this man DOES NOT WANT THAT CHILD NEAR HIS OWN DAUGHTER

he could simply say:
-because i dont want to take care of any other children (that aint mine)
- because i dont want a thieving child to join my household
... and that would be enough a reason.

again, the fact that this man doesnt want this child in his household is the only thing that we are certain of.... trying to force this child upon him is NOT a solution. far from it. you are not focusing on the right issue here (aka finding another solution) you are just hellbent on having this unwanted child over... and thats why this man took his biological child and left that woman!

if that was the case then she wouldnt need this man's approval before bringing her child over, would she?.
the man doesnt need to find an alternative, the baby mama does. these kids are not his responsibility, they are hers. he is already taking care of one of her kids, if she thinks that is an easy thing to do then let her divorce that man and take care of her kids BY HER DAMN SELF

then find someone who is willing to keep the child until then... for the right price (that you would have paid in school fees anyway), many family members would. but since she didnt want to, let see how long she can left on her own, now that this man left her.

tell that to the deluded woman who abandoned her child to marry such man... and now is crying naked at midnight,

yes i would never do that while this woman already did for countless years, a few more months (until next school year starts) wont hurt.

i guess he changed his mind after learning about that thieving/problem child... who wouldnt?

if after 3 years she doesnt understand that this man does NOT want that child in his house, then she needs a new brain... isnt it obvious by now that this child is UNWANTED by this man?

bringing a child where he is unwanted is a quick way to have this child get hurt... many die at the hands of step parents who abuse, mistreat and/or do worse to these unwanted kids. better she divorce that man and be happy single but with her child. there is NO OTHER WAY.

MrBrownJay1:
then thats the time she has to make a LIFE decision.... she can either divorce that man and be with her kid OR listen to her husband and figure a different way out. forcing that child upon this man (that doesnt want this child in his life) will only result in MORE trouble for that child. that child is not wanted by this man in his house PERIOD!

i guess in your world, changing your mind is against the law, abi? due to the evidence at hand, this man has decided to NOT have more kid in his home/life (possibly because he now realized how expensive it is).... forcing the issue wont change anything, is it?!

again, you dont seem to understand the issue here... this man does NOT want that child in his home any longer....thats his decision! instead of trying to FORCE this man to change his mind, you should instead look for other solutions.

irrelevant to the new husband, is it? pity wont work here...

so what you are saying is that life is already hard for this man (that wifey is paying for 70% of bills), and now she wants to make it even harder by bringing another kid to the household?!?

- if that was my child, i will never chose a wedding over him/her, to begin with
- if that was my child, i would have NEVER abandoned him/her because of wedding.
- if that was my child, where i go, he/she goes.

its a crime when you want to FORCE someone to accept something that they dont want in their lives (aka a child that aint his). AGAIN, there is nothing wrong with changing your mind.

because thats HIS decision... why are you so hell bent on FORCING this man to do what he is not willing to do? yes a thieving child is a problem child, no matter how you wanna look at this issue. a child that could easily influence his own biological child. also, he is already taking care of ONE child that aint his, maybe, just maybe, after having his own biological, he is no more interested in raising kids that aint his own. JUST MY 2 KOBOS ON THE ISSUE!

its called LIFE, and sadly sometimes thats what happens in LIFE!

there are many solutions here:
- find some other solutions
- find other siblings/family members to care for the child
- send him to boarding school
- OR BETTER YET, since this child is such a big deal to her, then divorce her husband so she can do what she desire with her child.


mama should be blamed for that, nobody else...she is the one who chose to abandon her kids for so many years, and suddenly now that this child is a PROBLEM CHILD, she wants to bring him to her own household. the important question here is: why does she really want the child over? is because they have a big house or because NOBODY want to deal with this problem child any longer?!

see how you SOLELY focus on mother and dont give a damn about this man.... as if mother is the most important person here. this man has a right to make his own decision, and HIS DECISION is to NOT have this problem child in his life, any longer. do you really think he gives a damn how this child will view his mother in the future? really?!

After doing so many WRONG things, whatever is done now will affect someone.... as i say, if this issue is such a big deal to mama, then let her divorce this man over that child issue, and BASTA!!!

bendazum:
People secure work even at the age of 60 years.

I know that there's shortage of jobs but make yourself indispensable and you will be rejecting jobs at 70 years.

merahki:
I know you
So I say, please read thru
I actually wanna know what you really feel after reading thru
Cheers

obakovich:
You are spot on. I advised her that ego comes in to play but she said NO.

MrBrownJay1:
no, certainly didnt read through 50 pages, lol! but let me give you food for thought:
- a mother would always stand by what their kids are doing, whether good or bad.
- a child may not start to steal until he/she is found in the "right" situation.
- if everyone is hungry in the house (because they cant afford so much food), stealing the food that is rationed OR meant for the next day, isnt any better, is it?
- regardless of the situation, this is a family decision, thus decisions about this family must be vetted BY BOTH ADULTS.
- if husband doesnt want that child in his house, he has all the right to do so (especially if he is the bread winner)
- even though husband agreed to take on the child in the past, there is nothing wrong with changing your mind. its called LIFE!
- this is not about whether her actions are good or bad, but whether it is valid to this family. this woman did something wrong from the get go (aka leaving her kids elsewhere for the benefit of her union, and thus should take part of the blame for whats happening.

crackkhaus:
When she's being cheered on by people who have only known broken things (families, relationships, & friendships) in their lives, what do you expect?

A broken home is job well-done as far as wise people are concerned.

As if there's anything to be proud of being a mother to children from two different men, and now well on the way to making it three men if she doesn't find a way to mend her family.

What a shame...

ableguy:
It's rather for you

Reference:
This is reprehensible by the United States and the international community should totally condemn this in no uncertain terms. Just disgusted.

Anyone who takes this offer at this time should have his Nigerian citizenship withdrawn permanently, forever. There is no depth of unpatriotism that is worse than this.

America will never accept this of its citizens.

MrBrownJay1:
bring a thieving child to your own household?! any sane man would take the same approach...

ableguy:
And who said he shouldn't bring her boy back? Imaging, you have been here arguing aimlessly. You think it's men and women fight abi?
SMH

Omar09:
She was suggested to put the boy in a boarding school pending the time the reach an agreement. Even the boy would have started visiting during the holidays and then boom, he stays over. But no she choose to play the boss. And how much are you being paid defending her?

Afromentalist:
Nothing bad has happened really

now you are praying naked

He who laughs last, laugh best.

Should I join in praying naked ? We may have an intense praying session

Afromentalist:
baba you have no case.

They made a deal, but did the deal mention that the boy is a thief ? when there is a change in circumstances, there should be renegotiations. The boy is a thief, and there could be little hope that he changes.

Has the husband refused to take the daughter too? the fact that he took the daugther which is not his signifies that he nas no issue with taking her children, but his particular issue is with the boy. Moreoever, she openly and unapologetically claims that the husband will never have priority over the son. Then the game is over. Noboy wants to marry a daughter of jezebel who only think about her own interest and cant respect the husband.

That lady is unfit to be called a wife. She is arrogant and stubborn, maybe because she has some money.

She shoud now get married to her money.

merahki:
I agree with your whole post
Then the bolded- Hehehehehehe, the gender warriors (many men and a woman on the side of the “masculinists” ) are spinning a new narrative. They wish the woman was lamenting her sudden lack of a husband (good riddance by the way) instead of being sad her daughter was taken away.

Meanwhile that selfish petty man will soon get another prey (two years at most- many vulnerable, single women in this corona uncertain period)...he will marry her and discard his pawn (daughter).

crackkhaus:
A nicompoop like you crackkhaus with the intellectual density of a dead mahogany, must as a matter of urgency, never quote me again.

If you care so much, please send her a PM, get off NL and take up her issue since it hurts you enough to cause nerological spasms crackkhaus.

Omar09:
Those who had children out of wedlock should not talk but bow their heads in shame.

But hell! Today's men wanna give them crown!

Omar09:
No one held a gun to his head! If you read well, you'd see where I wrote I blame the man for marrying a single mom. They had an agreement, it was broken by the man, not fair! But then should she because she's the financial pillar do things without the approval of her husband? Even tho her husband refused, she should have used the same manipulative skill she used on him to get married to him, why choose to be autocratic?

You make the bed, you lie on it.

CAPSLOCKED:
by the time this one learns her lessons, e go don late. she took the advice of these women on this thread, most which have never been married?
when all world women know how to do best is destroy other women's marriages and relationships?
the olodo say she's been praying all night, asking God to deal with her husband.
this thing called LOVE is not in this person's dictionary and I realized it from the first day she came here to complain. e nogo hard her to give the man rat poison chop. tufia!

worworbabe:
So you mean that the family has more right to the Child than his own Mother?

The best person to care for a child is his own Mother. She is not dead, why would she move him to relatives who would end up maltreating him?

How many people even want to take another person's child in at this time and age? If you are thinking about the wellbeing of this child, you won't have this thought.

ornicus:
95% of the time, any child who is not living with his parents will be treated like a second class human being. it does not matter if it is blood relatives he is living with. please get your son out of there before they destroy his life completely.

Omar09:
You are sick in the head! Your husband has as much right as you do to your kids I mean the ones he had with you. You are now playing victim at what you started.

Well I blame men who give single mothers a chance to talk like they had right. In a saner society, so long as you had children without a man to call yours, whether through divorce or baby mama shit unless death, you do not have right to speak in public. I hope your husband learns his lesson.

Men out there, we do not hate you when we tell you never to marry a single mom. Most of you out there who think it's okay to marry single mom just like me were raised by a single mom. And I will not because mom raised me alone with my dad alive and does not care about me marry a single mom. It just doesn't work. It is better to start with someone on same pace than with someone who's got a head start. It is always their kids before any new man. Hell it's always their kids before their biological father let alone a step dad. My mom never remarried do you know why? It's cause of us! She didn't want us to be with another man as a father! She wanted us to be for her, we were her closure.

To you Vivian, that prayer will backfire if your hands aren't clean, so you better stop it, swallow your pride and call your husband and stop victimizing your husband. He's done nothing wrong. Like you brought your kids into your home without his consent, he's taken his kids without yours. So in a subtle word, FVCK OFF!

Richy4:
I can just imagine what that boy will be thinking and going through at the moment psychologically

... he might be thinking that his mother is alive yet he was living as if she was dead... She prefer the other siblings and no one loves him
--- that might even be the reason why he was acting out the way he was doing.
---Try and sit your husband down and explain things to him in a cordial and rational way. if not, you gonna have a 'damaged Adult Young Man" in future with excess baggage.. Who might become a threat to the society. This is the right time to shape him.. he might be the pillar of your household some day.. tell your man not to right him off.. It is still early..

If your man was being unreasonable, then swallow your pride and send him to his own biological dad... Make out time and visit him every fortnight.. It's better instead of him being homeless or a street kid

crackkhaus:
Next time, when people with sense are giving you advise, you will pay attention.

I hate to gloat, but I'm probably the only one on this thread who has been asking you for an update all this while, and that entire time, these silly women who are all about a fantasy life have been going on & on with their infantile rants.

When some of us were telling you to ONLY make a move with the approval of your hubby, beg if possible until he changes his mind, you chose to go with the twerps here telling you the opposite all because you dey pay rent.

Enjoy your rent na and call them to come cry with you please..perhaps some can send you a PM so they can use their influence to help you find a way to get your daughter back.

I can't pity you, sorry.

I see one of them is still busy displaying idiocy, even after your latest update.

Who the gods want to destroy, they first make mad.

Life is not a fantasy or movie you can just write to suit your ideals, and it will teach you lots how to be sensible las las.

If that same boy turns into a criminal tomorrow, because his mother abandoned him, it is evil people like you that will clap hands and judge her for being a bad mother!!

veykey:
I just read someone's post now on Nairaland and the person ended with not all women are mothers. I'm dumbfounded by the man's action and I know most guys here will support him but it isn't fair. Probably, his friends or comments that were written, made him decide to "man up" to the detriment of his family. I don't see why a 12-year old boy whose only fault is being borne out of wedlock should cause a man to harden his heart. There's always two sides to every story but he's going too far. Nothing beats a mother's love. My advice is just take it easy, look after the kids you're with, let go of your anger and pray. At least you're sure he's taking good care of his daughter and the other kids are being looked after by you. Don't make the kids think they're the reason for the ongoing predicament and once again pray. It's well with you.

obakovich:
I tell her for here oooo. All the women dey advice her to go ahead. She said her son steals, who will leave his daughter and unborn son with a thief
She ought to have begged him at night and explain to him how her son will suffer. After then talk to her son to change his ways. Rather she halla say she dey feed am

ableguy:
God bless you for telling her the truth, all those people misleading her will not be there to assist her ooo.
She was forcing everything on the man and expect him to swallow it anyhow, she turned the whole thing to war and it have become war so she should be ready for the consequences.
I always knew the husband will react