₦airaland Forum

I feel like suarezing sb now.

Esp. if it's sb close to you selling you out and you find out. That's why I don't make friends or encourage bringing friends home.

Yes, a few does. But believe me, whether a secretary, P.A Or whatever under a male boss (esp. the women freak), no lass is reality safe.

tunderoc:
So I went out to chill will friends at this hotel just about 4 streets away from my house. While we were there downing beer, there's this area bros that we bought beer for and we were discussing politics, football and just about every topic we could but then we noticed he has been drinking just 2 bottles after like 3 hours, so we were bros na wetin happen. He was like I don't like beer I prefer woman to beer. We laughed over it, then minutes later he was like let me call Yinka, I initially read no meaning to it until my ex who got married earlier this this year walked into the hotel and straight she went into the slaughter room. She just bone like say she noh Sabi me. While I am sharing is this is a babe I almost marry o, so I am thinking what if I had married this girl and months after I found out she still smashing her pumpkins out. More reason is her husband house is just like 10 houses away from the hotel, she didn't even reason her husband folks could see her.
Guy what will you do, if you were sitting with friends and some random guy just walks in with your wife and then straight to the slaughter slab

I like the abbatoir idea you put in it. In one sentence, majority of women do this -- the love for money. I challenge any married woman to argue with me and mail your number, let me post all your calls and messages.

About the 4000 years of age, there's really no generally acceptable measurement of age. It has received heavy criticism. Well, nice pictures and fact.

The only factor listed there I concur to is overheating and phone turning on sometimes, others can happen on high-ram-consuming apps that are not really hackers nor a spy. Besides, if you being spied via keyloggers, you can almost not notice. I can teach you how to spy and how to detect a spy for just $2. It's a premium ebook.

Ishilove:
Beg pardin?

Let's start this way so you'll understand. Shebi omo iya niyen?

Ishilove:
Morning.

I wasn't feeling well and my mum gave me malaria medication, but since she is a believer of trado-African medicine, she decided to add agbo to it for a 'more effect.' I washed everything down with fufu and egusi soup.

There after i packed my bags and returned to school. We had gotten to Onipanu when my stomach began to rumble. I was overwhelmed by nausea.

"Stop the bus" I croaked to the conductor. He ignored me

"I say stop th...," but before I could complete the sentence, I vomited all over everyone. It was so humiliating.

The conductor had to get a broom and packer to sweep the lumps of fufu from the floor of the bus.

Funny enough I felt better after vomiting. When I got to my hostel I called my mum and related the aftermath of her 'explosive' medical combination, and she assured me that going forward, she will never mix 'ogu oyibo' with agbo, ever again.

I'm not sure you are an igbophile.

PrimadonnaO:
A senior student and his friends were calling me... one of them was asking me out that year. I was in SS1. They were in SS3.

I was doing shakara, refusing to answer, catwalking away... I didn't see the gutter in front.

Into the gutter I plunged... I swear, I almost didn't want to come out that day!

Lol. Who invented the printing press? J. GUTTERbeggar.

pDudd:
In university, I was so broke that when my belt broke, I found a radio wire and passed it through my belt holes of all my jeans and used it to hold my jeans up.

One day my coursemate called Iris noticed it while me and my other coursemates were hanging out and next thing she pulled my shirt up and exposed my wire belt in front of everyone. I was laughed at and mocked for using radio wire as belt.

God punish poverty.

If I were you, I would use rebuttal. I hate sb playing with my esteem even if I know I'll feel sad later.

Quinniscent:
I add a running stomach in school when I was in senior class possibly from what I ate previously, I realised I couldn't bear the urge any longer after so many battles inside of me, before I even concluded the bush corner I could offload, that was when all hell was let loose and I already started feeling leakage, I ran to the back and as I bent down with my boxer short down thinking of the great mess I was into and how to clean up, a little girl probably in junior class came and saw me, I just managed to man up and shout 'person dey here o'
My Gawd! It was extremely embarrassing, especially when you're a senior student.

Lol. I can so relate. Just like being in a public toilet without door hook and you have to hum, or clear throat to signal.

Dbarrzx:
Then in the Uni, on a very sunny day after lectures. I was walking home, those who know AAU will tell you how far the main gate is from the lecture halls. After getting close to the main gate I had an urge to poo immediately, possibly, all the useless food I bought in school had come to ruin my stomach. I was sweating profusely and confused on what to do. One mind told me: guy just dey march go home you go soon reach and the other mind said, o boy, just look for a nearby bush and do it there, in the mix of my confusion I was almost losing my mind and in the mix so many students we were walking home together. I hardly take Okada but with the intensity of what I was passing through, because I was feeling some little water in my boxer …oh gosh! I immediately took Okada, and that was my greatest undoing! As we were galloping home with the bad roads, I felt more splash in my boxer, it was obvious the unthinkable has happened. Immediately I dropped from Okada, menhh, I no wait for charge oooo… guy, na straight to toilet and na pit toilet for “face me I face you” hostel. When I finished, there was no water and my boxer and trouser were already in a mess. Coming out without a trouser or boxer was another issue. My God that doesn’t fail, I was lucky the shirt I wore that day was a very long shirt and it covered my D**k and bum bum. I disposed my boxer and the trouser straight into the pit toilet and walked into my room with only shirt on. I was ashamed because many student saw how I rushed in and came out with no pants on.

Lol. The fastest animal in the world is called a what? A SHITta.

IBreakRules:
My first day in the uni.
We were all freshers in front of a hall waiting to start our registration. Everyone still forming including me.
I was well dressed up sighting some babes at one corner, I noticed them looking at me, talking and laughing. I didn't know I was standing on the pathway of solider ants, I was still forming fine boy.
Some climbed my body and they all stayed in strategic areas in my body, like their commander gave them a command to strike at the same time.
It was too late to leave there when I discovered solider ants moving around where I was standing, I tried to conceal the pains I was getting from the attacks. It got to a point I couldn't handle it anymore, I ran to the back of the hall and pulled off my clothes, just my boxers left.
I will never forget that day!

Lmao.

obonujoker:
Wanted to use an ATM at the gate of hostel entrance... Just stretch to come down from Okada, na so my trousers year from back reach under my Zip, and queue con dey the gate... O my God

And dah kind thing is so annoying. Your boxer no go even respect himself hide, en go dey show under dey sag.

mdpeace:
lecturer asked me the course code for his course naso I confidently talk wrong course code I'll leave what happened next to your imagination

Lol, we experienced this many times too.

Farki:
Had malaria but stupidly stressed myself finishing assignment overnight, vomited all over my crush's leg and her desk. Spent the whole day in the nurses station, then I had to sneak into my class half naked because I forgot something important.

I can't stop laughing. You go just bend head for desk dey cry.

Annie001:
The day I thought a car stopped for me inside school and as I was about entering the you just said in Yoruba hope no prob
I just had to apologise shamefully

Kukuma just kill me. Lol. Your legs go begin shake with sweat dribbling down your face to your legs.

Possiblegee:
The day me and 3 of my friends went to steal 5alive juice not knowing that the teacher saw us


The next day the teacher just walked in and said the juice stand up ,everyone in class was just shocked the teacher just came out with a cain and you ,you,you and you stand up that moment I just knew it was the juice we stole that moment I just blike I don die so this man go tell the whole class say we come him office come steal juice

But as guy man way the teacher be he was just like 4 of you follow me e just carry us go him office then tell us say him see us when we steal that juice say the next day make we bring 1 juice each

Lols. I bet that teacher stole those from you guys too.

blazebaba:
OP was doing temple run dressed like Michael Jackson...
See run..

Mehn. Don't pray it happens to you, brov. Your hands can't even swing well.

remi1444:
make we see the good look. I wantu check something.

Lol.

playapayaski:
SS 2 in a chemistry class period, periodic table presentation and there I was right in from of the class explaining the group 7 elements with an erection.. Apparently I was looking at my class crush all along as I was about presenting, smiling at me.. Everyone noticed, my teacher had to ask what is that, then I replied "Sir I don't know o".
Avoided school for 2 straight days..

Your gbenga just say na en fall your hands that day.

seanwilliam:
Hmmm. That was the day I thief 4 packs of indomie in one run girl's room.. in nd1 , we follow dey same compound.. my padlock key can also open her own.. hunger don wire me that day sotey I dey ready to face the consequence.. the girl no dey sleep at home.. so the next day she came with her friends to her room( they wanted to change their cloth and go back to wherever they are coming from ).. naso she discover say her indomie and some other ingredients don disappear.. she shout give me that day I just dey beg her make she no loud the matter and that day my crush find me come, naso she came to find out what's happening.......... you know the rest

Hunger make you zero mind go do the undo.

donMIG:
I no read for test
I dei copy ansa from one girl
I never knew the lecture don dei notice me for school
Next tin I hear... Big boy u won't sit down one place n read u will dress up n b parading now u don't know what to write.
Shame cover me!
But na life we all had sh*tty freshman year

As you your borehole leaked? Lol.

Ajstyles01:
Was in class 1 certain evening(gns class) every 1 of us wer wit our handout wen d lecturer said we should circle a part in d note, d guy beside me was doinp rubbish so i strtd laffing at d boy, dat was wen d leturer pointed at me and said i shuld stand up he askd me y i was laffing i said ntin, he den said i shuld walk out of his class



my mate later told me dat he said i was laffing at a wrong spoken english he said

Lol. That kinda owl laugh.

Babapyro:
So I came to class loaded with 500mg of tramadol, during the lecture i had my earphones on and was writing at the same time,the lecturer noticed me and asked me to stand up,I was high and not paying attention I didn't answer him, he asked like 10times and the whole class were looking at me for more than 10minutes without me noticing. After some time a friend of mine came from the back to call my attention to what was going on.i stood up and walked to the lecturer,the lecturer looked at my face and was immediately alerted to the fact that I'm high,he just said GO HOME AND SLEEP IT OFF. I packed my bag and exit the class escorted with laughter from the lecturer and my classmates.
Since that day my classmates began to call me ESCOBAR

Your Royal Highness, sir.

NumbEmotions:
The first day I answered a question wrongly.

Between confusion, what will be going on in your head will be like: 'In the time of myth and the time of magic, the destiny of a great Kingdom rests...'

Priam:
Kinda story of my life.

Told my friends in primary school I had tea and bread for breakfast. Along the line in class, I started feeling unwell and before you could know it, I was vomiting undigested elongated garri with the okra soup I had that morning .

Them laff me ehn

Just kuku kill me. Lol.

nachinaGod:
Mine was in Secondary school..i was in ss1 then..
That i fourth fight i guy in my class , so while fighting d guy mistakeling remove my belt from my trousers ..while i was not on inner boxers...
Omo na so guy almost naked me oooo...na so i con dey beg d guy ...abeg abeg abeg abeg abeg for in class from wey girls dey.............no event no history

Lol. That day go humble you bad, brov.

BarrElChapo:
Every week this stuff makes FP. Aren't you guys tired

No, we aren't tired sir. The forum continuously urges us to 'discuss.'

Ishilove:
I vomitted fufu

I also had a class mate who always lied she ate rice, salad, spag this, that those days in sec school, Lasgidi, only for her to vomit fufu while ill. I mean, large morsel of fufu. I just hope she's not you cos I'm gonna puke.

Igwe355:
Which other embarrassment is more than the constant hunger, however, that part where OP said his shoes were making noise kon-kon really cracked me up.
I can imagine the embarrassment inside suit!

This thing do you too? Hunger made me lick abi drink mayonnaise finish. I vomit that day tire.