₦airaland Forum

it looks fresh

The Execution

Three men are about to be executed. One's a ibo, one's a yoruba, and one's a hausa. Two guards brings the ibo man forward, and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.
he says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the ibo man yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. he manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the yoruba man forward, and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.
he says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The yoruba man then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. he too escapes execution.
By this point, the hausa man had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.
he also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The hausa man shouts, "fire!!"

ADELL:
am still waiting for the joke, so not funny. try anoda one please.

he who laughs last thinks slowest

ADELL u no tell me say na ur mama dat na y u no see d joke.

The Injured Yoruba woman

A Yoruba woman walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.
The Yoruba woman says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body."
The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss," he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken your finger."

Do u take me 2 b ur lawful wedded text m8,
2 have & 2 hold 4 dirty jokes & saucy quotes,
through poor reception & no signal,
until low battery do us part.

Calarber, yoruba, hausa and ibo who sabi do pass

you sure say d mama no be calabar,dis one wey she get experience so.

How to Relieve Boredom!!!!

1. Have a tea party with your pets

2. Stop people as they enter a drive-thru. Ask them to give you a lift though the drive-thru because you dont want to queue inside.

3. Make up a word, use it casually in conversation and see if anyone ask what it means

4. Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face "they're more then meets the eye".

5. Put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send him or her to school as if nothing is wrong.

7. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

8. Read the dictionary backwards and look for any hidden messages.

9. Stare at people though the tines of a fork and pretened they're in jail.

10. Write a short story using alphabet soup.

11. Make a list of things you have already done.

12. When your roommate is sleeping, place his or her hand in a warm bucket of water, Try it

13. Write checks with Roman numerals.

14. Write "out to lunch" on your forehead.

15. Explain the reasons why World War 2 started to your cat.

Confuse, Worry, Or Just Scare The People In The cyber cafe

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work.

After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

Do you have a dirty mind

A simple test, just incase you're not sure.

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am i?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?