₦airaland Forum

Land ---although it will be difficult , however, it will be easier now than when kids start coming.

Once you fix the land property , u can easily buy car anytime.

meanwhile, landed properties are two types ooooooo,

Is it personal or commercial?

:-x

:d

Let temper not rise , will not help the poster

;d :d

:d

;d

;d :d

:p

.

jennykadry:
Why do you wanno know?

@ jennykadry
am also interested in that question, thinking of relocating,

Absolutely amazing!








Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!





1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321



Now, take a look at this,


101%



From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:



What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?


What equals 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:


If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


If:


H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%


And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%


But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%



THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:



L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%


Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


Have a nice day & God bless!

Absolutely amazing!








Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!





1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321



Now, take a look at this,


101%



From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:



What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?


What equals 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:


If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


If:


H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%


And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%


But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%



THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:



L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%


Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


Have a nice day & God bless!

My wonderful aunt and cousins alerted me to a disparity between the men's and women's versions of beach volleyball that I am ashamed I had not noticed: the men are wearing shirts! This outrage must be stopped.

Should women dress like men?

This is excellent and really gets you thinking about what will happen in Heaven.



17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told
his father, Bruce. It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote." It also was the last.

Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teays Valley High School in Pickaway County .

Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them, notes from classmates and teachers, and his
homework. Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of
the teen's life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven.

It makes such an impact that people want to share it. "You feel like you are there," Mr. Moore said. Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after
Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole.
He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted. .

Here is Brian's essay entitled "The Room."
Page 1

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which
stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the
cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I
was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense
of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at."

Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents Often there were many more cards than expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the
life I had lived.

Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.

One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards.

But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to
find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.

Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, and so alive.

The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

If you feel the same way forward it to as many people as you can so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours

PLEASE PASS THIS TO EVERY ONE YOU KNOW, CHRISTIAN OR NOT! "LET'S FILL OUR OWN FILE CARD" AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!


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Baba Sege got an invitation from the Queen to come &
visit her in England , One afternoon, while drinking
tea in the palace, he asked the queen her success
secret. She told him that she relies on her people a
lot, and therefore she must be certain that they are
intelligent. She decided to show him exactly what she
meant, so she called Tony Blair on the phone.

'Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask
Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence. ,

Queen: ' Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you:
your mother has a child, and your father has a child.
This child's not your brother and is not your sister.
Who is he then?'

Tony Blair: 'Obviously, it's me!'

Queen: 'Correct! Thank you, bye'. 'Did you get that
Mr. Obasanjo?' the queen asked.

Obasanjo answered: 'Yes, thx a lot, I'll definitely be
using that!'

As soon as Obasanjo got back to Nigeria , he knew that
he has doubt about Atiku's intelligence, and he was
going to ask him the question. He arranged a meeting
with him and asked him:

'Atiku, I have a question for you; your mother has a
child and your father has a child. The child is not
your brother and is not your sister, who is he?.'

Atiku thinks, and thinks, 'Em, you must give
me some time to think about it.'

So Mr. Obasanjo decided to give him a day to come out
with an answer.

That afternoon, Atiku called a meeting to discuss the
question, but NOBODY knew the answer. They drew up an
Atiku family tree, but to no avail! The next morning,
he realized he has to give Obasanjo an answer and as a
last resort, he decided to phone Jerry Rawlings of
Ghana ,

' Jerry, your mother has a child and your father has
a child. The child is not your brother and is not your
sister, who is he?'

Jerry answers immediately. 'Hey, Atiku, It is me of
course, you dumb Nigerian!'

Atiku rushed to Obasanjo's office, he was quite very
impressed to have got the answer to such a difficult
question. 'Mr. President, I know who he is, it's Jerry
Rawlings, former President of Ghana!'

Obasanjo replied: 'Jerry Rawlings ko, Jerry Gana ni.
You are such a stupid Vice President! I'll make sure
you're removed from office. The child is TONY BLAIR !'


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I don't know why wives bellyache about their husbands taking off with their mistresses. If they know how much work those girls do to keep other people's properties, the wives would keep quiet. Yes, it's tough being a wife but by Jove it's tougher being a mistress. Keeping what's not yours requires a lot of gut and staying power.

It's also not a business for cowards. It's not a venture for those who don't want to sweat. It's tension soaked, energy- sapping, emotional and spiritual – intensive business. And the big players, know the stakes. That's why when they reap the fruits of their labour, we all can't help but gape. So when next you open a soft – sell magazine and see some beautiful 35-year-old opening up about her life and business in the oil sector, don't think she got there by generally doing what you do. There's a lot of hard work involved in being a successful enviable mistress of the right guy. Emphasis on the right guy. You think you go to church? Mistresses go to churches. They move from one miracle – distributing church to the other. They sleep on mountains for days. They fast move and longer than wives. For them, being a mistress is a major investment that must be guarded jealously, watered intensely and watched over with every drop of blood.

Wives have tendencies to relax and take their investments for granted. Not mistresses. The goose that lays the golden eggs must be put in a golden cage. I remember vividly my experience in the waiting room of a Moroccan massage parlour last year. I was waiting for my turn when some of the attendants of the establishment brought out all kinds of 'gadgets' to keep a man's attention. Oh boy, it was one long sex education, the kind you can find only when big girls are teaching one another survival tricks.

There was this ointment (or was it a cream?) that was offered me for N5,000. It's job? It'll keep the man asking for more. Just rub it down below and the man will go to heaven and return as many times as he wants. It was a small jar. The big jar was N10,000. While I was trying to make up my mind if I wanted to try the cream or even if I had the energy to send someone to heaven more than once, the girls brought out this gigantic bottle. You need your two hands to carry it and the liquid content cost N25,000.

The bottle, according to the girls, had been buried in the ground for one whole year, yes 12 months. For efficacy. It's strictly for feminine use. It smells great and it is supposed to do greater things for your man in your bed. I bet you are dying to know which one I bought. I'm not telling. The lesson is mistresses invest in their paraphernalia of office and I saw a few things that day. Stuffs were bought for good money too. Just think about it.

I'm sure you have heard or read stories of undergraduates and 25-year-olds ending up in the kind of wealth you and I only dream of. I'm sure you have also wondered where those girls got their 'heads' from and why yours is not fetching you money or even love. But what are you doing about it? You think you can just wish for a shop in Ikoyi, a duplex in Victoria Island and summer holiday in Barbados and they all fall in your pretty laps? Not on your dreaming life. You work for it, girl. That's why those smart ones outside can hold their sugar daddies. That's also why some wives are having more fun than the others.
Have you had white fast this year and for how many days?

You are eating like food's going out of fashion while your husband's girlfriend is fasting her waist away. She's losing waist' and you are gaining it. She's locked up somewhere in one white-garment church doing cross-road prayers and you are nagging about 'aso-ebi'? Jazz don catch you, baby. You don't even know what cross-road prayer is? I'll bail you out. Cross-road prayer is one where you lock up yourself for a day, two days or for as long as you can to pray without talking to anybody. You just keep praying, talking only to God until He does it.

Adejoke (you don't think that's her real name, do you?) just finished her seven-day white fast. Her prayer point? Her politician boyfriend just bought her a Honda Element and she wants to park it in front of a befitting house in Maitama Abuja. She believes if she asks God and does as her prophet decrees, it'd be done. If she gets it, what would you think? It's crazy, isn't it?

There are other spiritual exercises like being on a prayer mountain for days so a man can keep doing what you want him to do even when you are not legally married to him. Frightening but true. Some of these smart girls know all the prayer mountains from Ede to Oke Erinmo to Kaduna. And they go there for prayers. Now, I'm not saying that religious leaders aid and abet untoward things; I'm just concerned that wives shouldn't think it's okay to just assume that husbands are forever. No, they are not. There are too many girls out there who want your man, probably more than you do. They are working harder than you think. I also learnt that there are prayers to bring down the holy books and that takes five to seven for 'men of God' to do. If you have only daughters for your husband and he has assured you that 'nothing spoil', don't take anything for granted.

In fact, don't believe him or rest on your oars. His girlfriends are working day and night to get him an heir. I just found out that there's an hospital in Kuwait where there are specialists who help to fix sex of a baby with appreciable success rate. Yes, Kuwait, these girls will go anywhere to please your man and you are there taking him for granted. Kuwait is where she'd take him for the next summer and she'd get the right male chromosomes out of him to consolidate her hold in your business.

And the rain of twins everywhere? Have you wondered if God just suddenly opened the windows of heaven for twins to be born in Nigeria? No. Fertility dugs are here to the rescue. And while wives are ready to continue to 'believe God' for the fruit of the womb, the mistresses are going through the pain of injecting themselves with fertility stuff and monitoring every change in their bodies to produce that fruit of the womb.



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So what have we learnt? Life, marriage is a cutthroat business where he who endures wins gold or dies at the finishing line

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
     - Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
     - Kristen, age 10


WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
     - Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
    - Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)


HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at  the same kids.
     - Derrick, age 8


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don't want any more kids.
     - Lori, age 8


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
     - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
     - Martin, age 10  (Who said boys do not have brains) 


WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
     -Craig, age 9


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich.
     - Pam, age 7  (I could not have said it better myself) 

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
     - Curt, age 7   (Good Point) 

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
     - Howard, age 8  (Who made the rule) 


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
     - Anita, age 9 (bless you child)


HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

(1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
     - Kelvin, age 8   

And the #1 Favourite is,


HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
    - Ricky, age 10    ( The boy already understands)


End users
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See below house prices in Lagos = NYC n London

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=9128890&ch=4226714&src=news

or

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/08/05/purefoy.lagos.house.prices.cnn?iref=videosearch


they say the prices are rivalling NYC,

Dear,

Please take a few minutes to fill out the following questionnaire, this is
part of a Royal Institute of Technology (KTH), Stockholm sponsored
research in Trends in Digital Marketing Channels – i.e. Mobile phones,
Video, Search, Games, Digital billboards, LCD screens, Email, Social
Networking Sites, Second Life).



We are interested in the views of regular Internet users and of those who
have little or no experience of the Internet. Your opinions and comments
are very important and all information given will be treated with the
highest confidence.



Thank You in advance for your time and participation.



Please use the link(s) below to enter the survey. You can answer one or
both survey.



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chinwe@kth.se Royal Institute of technology (KTH), Information and
Communication Technology (ICT) Entrepreneurship, Kista, Stockholm Sweden
(+4676231 95 08).


Please do help me forward this survey to people on your mail list or
address book.

Benjamin Chinwe

Dear,



Please take a few minutes to fill out the following questionnaire, this is

part of a Royal Institute of Technology (KTH), Stockholm sponsored

research in Trends in Digital Marketing Channels – i.e. Mobile phones,

Video, Search, Games, Digital billboards, LCD screens, Email, Social

Networking Sites, Second Life).







We are interested in the views of regular Internet users and of those who

have little or no experience of the Internet. Your opinions and comments

are very important and all information given will be treated with the

highest confidence.







Thank You in advance for your time and participation.







Please use the link(s) below to enter the survey. You can answer one or

both survey.







1. End users



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If you have or need more information, please contact Benjamin Chinwe

chinwe@kth.se Royal Institute of technology (KTH), Information and

Communication Technology (ICT) Entrepreneurship, Kista, Stockholm Sweden

(+4676231 95 08).





Please do help me forward this survey to people on your mail list or address book.



Benjamin Chinwe

is it time (or possible) 4 nairaland to become a quoted company (website,firm, etc) on NSE?

Segun (or nairalanders) what do you say (think)?

Believe it or not. Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr . in it;

Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it;

No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman, Why?

BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now,

I never looked at it this way before.

Marriage (Part I )

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and

after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time

I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless

I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing

when I want with my old buddies, and don't you

give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:

"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex

here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************ ********* ********* ********* *********

Marriage (Part II)


Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"



"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


************ ********* ********* ********* **

Marriage (Part III)


Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no

good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and

decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband

says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"


She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

************ ********* ********* ********* **

Marriage (Part IV)


A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his

wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home

and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts

at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,

shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

************ ********* ********* ********* **

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife

to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece

of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM , " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it

was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he

noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

************ ********* ********* ********* **

God may have created man before woman, but there

is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


************ ** ************ ********* ******

Marriage (Part I )

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and

after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time

I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless

I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing

when I want with my old buddies, and don't you

give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:

"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex

here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************ ********* ********* ********* *********

Marriage (Part II)


Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"



"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


************ ********* ********* ********* **

Marriage (Part III)


Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no

good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and

decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband

says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"


She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

************ ********* ********* ********* **

Marriage (Part IV)


A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his

wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home

and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts

at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,

shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

************ ********* ********* ********* **

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife

to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece

of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM , " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it

was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he

noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

************ ********* ********* ********* **

God may have created man before woman, but there

is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


************ ** ************ ********* ******

Hi all,

Peace be on this house! Kindly forward to any one that you know that will
be interested.

Please is there any Lecturer, Professor, Entrepreneur, Innovator,
MBA/Entrepreneurship students in this esteem house.

Kindly contact me on:
chinwe@kth.se
skype: chinweub

My school ( http://www.tslab. ssvl.kth. se/entms/ ) is seeking to form a
collaboration with Lecturers, Professors, MBA/Entrepreneurship students
and/or ACTIVE Entrepreneurs or Innovators.

Please if you are not ACTIVE as a Lecturer, Professor, Entrepreneur
Innovator, MBA/Entrepreneurs hi p students, DO NOT CONTACT ME.

Thank you,

Chinwe, Benjamin
+46-76-231-95- 08

Hi,

Please, I am trying to install Visual Studio 2005, but i receive error 1311 - '_15690_RTL_x86_enu_MM_Setup_Files_VS_STD.cab' file is missing.

Please can any one send the file?

Regards,

Benjamin