₦airaland Forum

How long will it take bet9ja to resolve this problem.? Everything about naija is always awkward. It's been days since this happened.

ceaser:
Another one! In less than 12 hrs. Na wa o.

We never even settle the matter from this thread
https://www.nairaland.com/6509570/fooled-girlfriend-4-years-thinking

And another real life account is popping up. The same format, the same temptation and the same disappointment.



In that earlier thread, she was 22 years. The reason given for unfaithfulness was that she is young and therefore should be allowed to explore and look for the man that is best since the current boyfriend has not even promised her marriage nor engaged to her yet.

Now in this thread, the subject is 27 years, already ripe for the nuptial knot and promised marriage by the boyfriend when he comes to the country.

But the reason for justification of unfaithfulness in this case is that "she is 27 and she'll be finding any means to roll up with guy who's ready to ask her hand in marriage".

So I think the male folks needs to be educated: when is the right age for the girl to be faithful in a relationship?

The truth is that like most men, most women of nowadays don't value commitment in relationships. They hate it. They like sneaking around even when they are married. I have seen this a lot.

Men always miss this point a lot. Many men think that it's hard for women to cheat but it's false. Women cheat a lot but they are very smart when it comes to cheating. They are very hard to catch. Your wife might be cheating on you for years without you detecting it. Obviously, the signs are always there but you will be ignoring them thinking that they are normal.

maryjames9:
Oga park well. Have you introduced her to your parents? Has she done same? Have you done proper ceremonial introduction? Have you married her? Probably NO with a capital letter.

I am tired of all these endless lamentations on Nairaland from kids all the time. You are yet to put a ring on her finger and you do not want someone else who is serious and ready to wed her? At 27 you want her to waste her time with your sorry and unserious ass in a relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend that will probably not lead to marriage?

I will advise your girlfriend to dump your sorry ass and get on with a serious and ready man.

Maryjames, if you can really sit down, take a deep breath and read between lines, through the conversation the girl had with the guy on WhatsApp, you should have observed that the girl is not really in love with the man who promised her marriage.

She is not interested in commitment rather she is trying to get the best catch in terms of money. Well that is what she wants, I will not blame her for that. Every decision/ actions we take have consequences, good or bad as the case may be.

We should be careful what we wish for because this type of woman can have extra marital affairs if things get tough in her marriage. I have seen a lot when it comes to these things.

matm:
A 20year old woman speaking.Ur father has been sleeping with u.Threatens u not with a gun but with a knife.And on those occasions u couldn't shout for neighbours to hear nor report to ur mother,ur relatives or police .
And because u are a woman (pretending of beign of weaker gender),u went online to garner public sympathy just like so many retired and expired Bleep around women are doing.
Ur adviser told u to go online and hide under d canopy of feminism to gain sympathy and trend.

The young woman is not looking for sympathy but justice. Obviously, the family was trying hard to kill the case under the guise of sacrificing to a fictional sky god. They have also bribed our police as usual that was why they released the criminal. Which court is handling the matter? None. This shows they were trying to kill the case. Please, try and read between lines.

The young woman was left with no other choice than to embrace social media in order to get justice. And it's working very well in her favour. The man belongs to the prison.

As for the young woman not shouting, this is possible especially when the whole thing started when she was quite very young. She was under a kind of mental captivity in the hands of the man. It's a psychological state. This is where psychologists will help and unravel what was going on in the mind of the victim.

I don't understand what is going on in your mind but from your comment I can see your inability to condemn what this wicked man has done to a fellow innocent human being like yourself.

Helpfromabove1:
From the story above , I am not sorry to stay it your mother had failed in her duty as a mother , her child will sleep outside and she will not know And this has been going on for this long she as truly failed as a mother.

Secondly I can deduce that the story has been dealt with ,so why bring it to social media , somethings are meant to remain in the family it called family secret bringing this story (that the family and authorities has already intervene) is just to shame yourself and your family and not only the man. And to make it even worst u did not hid any information about yourself or family even your face at least ,as much as I don't and won't in anyway support the act of the man ,I must let you know the internet never forget and it will mostly likely hunt u in the future.

I think you have a big problem. What is shameful about someone crying for justice?. She is the victim for God's sake.

BafanaBafana:
A man in India built a shrine for Trump, you can do same.
Trump is a racist, he is a liar, his lies about covid 19 led to the death of nearly half a million Americans, he is an idiot who gets complex issues whenever he is around great men like Putin.
He is hate filled. His supporters love him because he hates those they hate.
Who do you hate by the way?

God bless you. You just defined the nature of trump.

Acehart, If God forces people to do his will in the way you are putting it, why would some people go to hell?

Godsonkemz:
I remember when I was little when my siblings and I used to run from masquerade in our villa during xmas. In all our attempts to escape from masquerade we never entered a prominent Catholic church in our villa of which it's field is used for sporting activities while masquerades parade in and out of it, including inside the church because masquerades of all kinds are allowed entrance.

Which town ? Which state? You just want to lie in order to score cheap points.

Ginaz:
Can you imagine what that psychopath called clarocuzioo wrote up there ? What has that gotten to do what the physical assault? This is insane !!! Where do people like this come from ?

Actually this is very common in our society. Our society always try to blame women for domestic violence even when most victims are women. This is why he is trying very hard to indirectly justify the husband's action by assassinating the woman's character.

coputa:
If channels television overstep their boundaries,they could be sued by the man,if he knows his right, many educated Nigerians don't know their rights(educated illiterates)
If u Don marry,you go know say,to stay with a woman is akin to living with the devil

I'm not doubting you at all. That's why I said you could help him to sue the tv station if the need arises.

Women are not devils. Your mother is not a devil, likewise mine. I have been married for many years.

There are few little things that you can do to make your wife happy and respect you. These are:
Don't womanize. ( women don't like womanizers)
Help in household chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry. I cook a lot.
Provide good shelter.
Help her in taking care of the kids
Buy her gifts once in a while.
Try to be a good service provider.i.e you must be good in bed. Women like good service providers but at the same time don't ask for sex too often.
Etc

To make a woman to love and respect you is not rocket science.

clarocuzioo:
Theres absolutely nothing wrong with me, it's you that have serious comprehension issues.

First you saw in the begining of my write up where I condemned domestic violence.

Second you saw where I said let's hear the guy's side of the story.

Thirdly you saw where I asked why she should bring this to the social media when she knows in such situations, families intervene.

Fourth was her own shit which have been shielded and not brought to social media.

He just ruined this guy's life and carrier. I understand it was even the guy that trained her as a medical doctor.

You did not condemn anything. You used your so called condemnation as a pretext to assassinate her character by writing fictitious stories about her which you cannot provide evidence to support.

She has the right to put it on social media. It's not a crime. It's was her husband who committed crime.
She is fighting back which is a natural reaction to such wicked act.

Which shit are you talking about? You have to provide evidence of this shit that you are talking about. Prove it. Your story is just fiction, period.

Again, your story about her character is irrelevant to what happened.

Point of correction, the man ruined his own life. He did so by beating his wife.This is a fact. Stop blaming the victim.

clarocuzioo:
She's not my type, I ball very hard. My family won't even allow such a girl close to the family.

I have nothing to be bitter about her.

My concern is her bringing this to the social medial when families can handle this.

Yeah nobody is a.saint so why bringing this issue to social.media?

Again, her past has nothing whatsoever to do with the beating. It's irrelevant.
You are just trying hard to divert attention.

I don't want you to carry me off topic but where is the evidence of these things you are accusing her of. Can you prove it? You know you can't.

At least she has shown us what her husband did to her, where is your own evidence?
You didn't even show any empathy towards the woman rather you started assassinating her character by writing fictitious stories about her past which has nothing to do with the beating.

coputa:
In as much as i kick against domestic violence,no employer an the constitutional right to interfere in their staff's marital affairs.channels television should not trample on the law,this is the job of the police.

I hear you barrister ikpeama. Just contact the husband and take up the case for free. He need it more than anything now.

Yankee101:
Please why won't women leave?

You're a doctor, you make your own money. I know news media guys make money from government to push or kill a news item. Still.

Must you wait for him to kill you b4 u file for divorce? He sat on your pregnancy? Then on your 4week old CS surgery wounds? Haba. You no get brothers?

It's not as easy as you think. I was thinking like you before but now I understand better.
Our culture has a lot to do with it. Nigerian society have negative perception of women who left their marriages. Irrespective of how the evidence is in favour of these women, our society still hold these women responsible for what happened to their marriages either directly or indirectly.
As a result of this, many women have chosen to stay and endure all manner of rubbish being thrown at them.

clarocuzioo:
The guy shouldn't have beaten her. I condemn domestic violence in it's entirety.


There's no justification whatsoever for this kind of beating.

But please i urge everybody to try and hear from the guy also before making comments. It will help us all.

Ifenyinwa just gave her own side of the story, how about the guy's side.

Six years ago when the wedding came up, we were so sure a day as this will come.

This girl shouldn't for any reason bring this to social.media. there's a family to report and families will handle this.

If we start saying things about her on social media, days will not be enough for her Chronicles.

Where do we even start? Do we start from her toxic mother getting pregnant for another man and pining it down on her father, later she will openly tell the whole Irette community that her husband is.impotent and that Ifenyinwa's father is different from her husband?

Do we start from her toxic mother terrorising the peaceful Irette community that earned her the popular name " TRANSFORMER," meaning when ever a transformer blows, everywhere will be calm. That name came about when her mother fought a mobile policeman and injured him seriously in the ear.

Do we start from her father grabbing the properties of her late elder sister till date claiming it's his ?

Do we talk about her mother travelling to Ijebu Ode for some stupid juju, only to have a terrible accident at St. Helen's Catholic Church Irette few minutes to her home?

Do we even talk about her mother confessing to terrible things she did , before her death?

Do we start talking about her early days in Bishop Lasbrey Girls Secondary School? Where when her father gives her school fees, she will put it in am envelope , and tell her classmates that her father from Abuja just sent her money, meanwhile her father is a driver in Owerri.

Do we talk about her promiscuity at early stage. In life? Let her kindly explain the circumstances that brought about " DADDY TAKE IT EASY IT IS PAINING ME". Her sexual escapades abound as a student in Bishop Lasbrey, her school mates can attest to this.

Do.we even talk about the illicit affair she was having with a certain prominent man from Irette who was also spraying her money during their wedding that people who knew what's up were laughing at the husband?

Do we talk about her wayward way of dressing even after her wedding?

There's a reason why Igbos around did not marry her, because when they ask questions and make enquires, they know she's just a girlfriend and not a wife.

It's unfortunate this guy used a girlfriend for a wife.

For anybody that cares to know more about this girl, please visit Onwu's compound in Irette, Owerri , Imo state and ask about her, you will understand better the kind of toxic personality she is.

NB : I am not holding brief for the husband. I am just seeing his picture for the first time now.

There is something seriously wrong with you. What does all this your long story has to do with the fact that she was beaten and injured by the husband. You need brain repair.

openmine:
I wasn't mistaken when I said you were arguing for the sake of it....no wonder you even brought in soccer to further confuse yourself!

However,I stand by my points!

If you feel you have a differing opinion,I totally respect that but don't try fruitlessly to write an epistle to explain your points!

For the umpteenth time and at the risk of sounding like a broken record, the title not the body should have inserted and credited the healing of the woman to God....
Can a personnel advertise a company's product using his own name?
Likewise,the pastor is only a 'vessel' to carry out God's enormous powers..hence any title related to healing must have enormous credit to God than man no matter the title or position held...these are my opinions that are taking you ages to grasp!

Like I said ab intio,I am not surprised!

Saying that I'm confusing myself proves nothing because you have not been able to show that the writer did anything wrong.

I can also assert that you are fruitlessly writing an epistle but doing what you are doing will not automatically make my point true. The same applies to you too. Stop wasting words.

Again, I ask you. Show me where the writer denied the power of God in the healing in the title? All the writer said was that the man of God healed the woman. Did the man of God not heal woman? God gave him the power and he healed the woman. The title is in order whether he added God to it or not because there is nowhere he denied God in that title.

Did the writer tell you that he was advertising anyone? Where did he say that? This is a mere assertion from you again. He was just telling people what happened. How does this amount to advertising

Why do you like shifting the goalposts. Is messi's gift not from God? Is it from satan or human being? When messi entertains people, we say that he is fantastic, so on and so forth. How does acknowledging the fantastic things that messi does on pitch take away the glory of God.
For example, we see sports write ups with titles like' MESSI GETS ANOTHER HAT TRICK '.
How does the above title take anything away from God? How does the above title deny the hand of God on Messi? Unlike you, I insist that the above title does not in any shape or form deny the gift that God gave Messi.
The same applies to the writer.

According to you the title must look like this, 'GOD EMPOWERS MESSI TO GET ANOTHER HAT TRICK OR MESSI GETS ANOTHER HAT TRICK WITH THE GIFT THAT GOD GAVE HIM OR GOD USED MESSI AS A VESSEL TO GET ANOTHER HATTRICK ', so as to make sure God is not denied his glory.

You are also entitled to your own opinion but it is what it is. God gave the vessel the power to heal and the vessel healed the woman.

openmine:
Guy it would seem you are arguing for the sake of argument which is not surprising....well that's your problem not mine hence your inability to comprehend or peruse my simple writeup!
I have made my points explicit enough for you to easily grasp but you seem fruitlessly determined to prolong the issue!
I have said what i have to say in my last comment...Trying to explain myself to you would be likened to sounding like a broken record!

Bros, the only surprising thing here is how you are accusing the writer of wrongdoing when he is actually innocent.

The writer didn't mislead anyone. That is your view which you conjured up from nowhere. The writer never said that the pastor healed with his own power, so why are you putting words into his mouth. He simply said that the pastor healed the woman which is true.

God gave the pastor the gift of healing and the pastor healed the woman. That he didn't say that the pastor healing gift is from God is not denial. Allow him to deny it first before accusing him of misleading people or taking glory away from God. The so called 'misleading ' is all in your head because the writer didn't do such. He didn't say anything like that. Where did he say such? Show me.

If Messi scores, we say that Messi has scored. That we say that Messi has scored doesn't take anything away from God. It can only amount to taking away glory from God when we say that messi does all these things through his own power. I don't understand you at all.

openmine:
which should be....



Paul Eneche on his own accord has no power to do such except through God healing powers unless you are saying such powers are without a source!
Have you ever heard a company personnel advertising a product without including its company brand?
Even Jesus acknowledged that he can't do anything without his source being from God......Paul also acknowledged the power of God without which he could do nothing...but here we appropriate powers to pastors which is entirely to the Glory of God!
We even advertise our pastors more than we advertise God himself!
This is why this title is too misleading!
These are my submissions whether you accept them or not!

Where did the writer say that he had power of his own? Where did the writer say that the pastor healed with his own power? Pls show me.
What exactly is your problem with the writer? I don't understand you at all.

openmine:
Oga The title is the issue.....
The title is misleading because it assumes the pastor heals a woman without using the power of God!

We must at all times acknowledge our source in order for new believers or unbelievers not to put their trust in man but God!
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

Bros, the title didn't assume what you are saying. You are the one manufacturing this your so called assumption. Stop accusing the guy of what he didn't do. Show me where he denied the hand of God in what happened. The pastor healed the woman and that is true.

openmine:
U r still not getting the point!
Healing comes from God hence he must be accorded that glory not man!
Even if he gives us power doesn't imply we should make it look like we don't want to acknowledge the source!

The misleading title is the issue and should be "God healed the woman" and not "Pastor heals the woman"

"Acknowledge the lord your God for it is HE WHO GIVES YOU POWER TO CREATE WEALTH"
Deuteronomy 8:18

Where did he accord the glory to the man? He said the man healed the lady. He never denied that God was not involved. You are criticising a strawman of your own making. The writer's focus was not on where the man got his powers to heal. You are criticising something that he didn't treat in his write up. We are coworkers of God, so says the bible.

1StopRudeness:
Bros..... this matter simple gaaan ooooo.... the no tie wrapper at alll.....

The pope said
“homosexual people have a right be a part of a family, people with homosexual orientation have a right to be in a family and the parents have the right to recognize this son as homosexual, this daughter as homosexual.


There are two different statements here joined together by “and”

1) homosexual people have right to be part of a family... I.e they should not be excluded from marriage... because when a government bans gay marriage... the meaning is they’ve been denied the right to have a family.....

2)The second form of denial is when parents don’t accept their children’s gay status.
He therefore urged that heterosexual parents should recognize and accept their gay children....

Bros, I have given you the unedited version which tells the whole story. It's there on the internet.
What he said was crystal clear there.

The Pope was not discussing gay marriage at all. He didn't mention it. You are the one manufacturing this. He was saying that parents should show acceptance and love towards their children with homosexuals tendencies.

It's obvious you don't know the teaching of the catholic church concerning the issue of homosexuality.

The Catholic Church does not reject homosexuals. Every catholic parents should not reject a homosexual son or daughter. What the church condemns is Homosexuality- the act. The Church urges those who have homosexual tendencies to not indulge in homosexuality but to seek help, both spiritual and psychological to be delivered from such tendencies.

Are you expecting the church to tell parents to reject their children with homosexuals tendencies, send them away? If that is what you expect the church and parents to do, please tell me why such action is right.

Unfortunately, the leftist media seek an endorsement from the Pope, so they twist what he has said to suit their narrative.

1StopRudeness:
He ddnt mention church....sounds like u are the one desperately trying to change the context....

Gay people have not been chased from church...so why would the pope mean church like someone stays at the church entrance to prevent gay folks from coming in

You are right, he was not referring to the church, but at the time you were wrong because he was not talking about civil union.

Pope was simply saying that the family of those who are homosexuals should not reject them

To make things clearer, I have gotten the unedited version of the interview below:

“Once I was asked a question on a flight—it made me angry afterwards, it made me angry because of how the media reported it—about the family integration of people with homosexual orientation, and I said:

homosexual people have a right be a part of a family, people with homosexual orientation have a right to be in a family and the parents have the right to recognize this son as homosexual, this daughter as homosexual. Nobody should be thrown out or be miserable because of it.

Another thing—I said—when we see some sign in children that are growing, and then you send them… I should have said to a ‘professional’, but I said ‘psychiatrist’. I wanted to say a professional, because sometimes there are signs in adolescence or pre-adolescence where they don’t know if it is a homosexual tendency or if the thymus gland atrophied with time—I don’t know, a thousand things, no? So, a professional. The headline of the newspaper: ‘The Pope sends homosexuals to the psychiatrist’. It is not true! They asked me a question and I repeated again:

‘They are sons of God, they have a right to a family, and so forth’.

Another thing is… and I explained: I was wrong in using that word, but wanted to say this: ‘When you notice something str’… “Ah, it’s strange…”. No, it’s not strange. It’s something out of the ordinary. In other words, they took a small word to nullify the context. There, what I said was: ‘they have a right to a family’. And that does not mean approving homosexual acts, not in the least.”

I don't understand why someone should heavily edit the above interview just to make it look as if the Pope was saying something else.

1StopRudeness:
“Homosexual people have the right to be in the family, they are children of God, they have the right to a family”

U have brought it out yourself naaa....why are u still asking me to bring out

He was not talking about what you are talking about. He was talking about the church. He was referring to the church as "the family." The family is the church.

The following happened in an interview:

When the director asks him if a homosexual can take his children to church, he replies:

“Homosexual people have the right to be in the family, they are children of God, they have the right to a family. No one can be thrown out of the family or made life miserable for that. What we have to do is a law of civil coexistence, they have the right to be legally covered. "

The Pope was simply saying that homosexuals and their children should not be sent away if they come to worship, they too belong to the family (the church).

The problem with you is that you don't read things properly.

1StopRudeness:
This is another paragraph in the text ...

“Francis has suggested in past interviews that he is not against civil unions, but this is the first time as Pope that he has directly come out in favor of them”

I didnt invent this one either

I have asked many of you people here to show me where he endorsed civil union for homosexual in the past or now. I need a quotation. Pls show me. This task should be very easy for you.

The writer said " but this is the first time as Pope that he has directly come out in favor of them”

The following is the so called statement of support from the Pope:

“Homosexual people have the right to be in the family, they are children of God, they have the right to a family. No one can be thrown out of the family or made life miserable for that. What we have to do is a law of civil coexistence, they have the right to be legally covered. "

I asked you before to show me how you and the writer came to this conclusion from the Pope's statement above.

Like I said before, if you had read the story properly, you should have observed that there was nothing like civil union in his statement. All he was talking about was tolerance, peaceful coexistence and love.

1StopRudeness:
That's the first paragraph on the front page of this thread....see:

"Pope Francis has declared support for civil unions for same-sex couples for the first time, according to the Catholic News Agency."

So I don't get why u are calling me desperate as if I cooked up the information on my own...

You didn't cook up the story but obviously you didn't read the whole story. If you had read the whole story, you wouldn't have said things that the Pope did not say. You are not alone on this, many here didn't read the story at all.

Next time, try and read everything before commenting so as to enable you comprehend the story properly.

You can't reach a conclusion by only reading the first paragraph on the front page.

1StopRudeness:
How do u interprete right to civil union.....??

Must the pope say...man and man should be allowed to fvck each other??......civil union means marriage accepted by law...

.if that's not explanatory enough as supporting gay marriage then I don't know what is...

Are you sure you read what the Pope said. It's obvious you didn't read it.
The Pope did not say anything about civil union.

The following took place during an interview:

When the director asks him if a homosexual can take his children to church, he replies:

“Homosexual people have the right to be in the family, they are children of God, they have the right to a family. No one can be thrown out of the family or made life miserable for that. What we have to do is a law of civil coexistence, they have the right to be legally covered. "

How did you get all these things you are saying from the above statement? It seems that you're trying so hard to put words into his mouth.

The teaching of the catholic church concerning same sex marriage is there on the internet for everyone to see.

Yankee101:
This man has lost his way

The catholic church has been drifting away

This is the crux of the matter

Thank God for all those future thinkers who broke away

No one is saying hate same sex folks, but you can't endorse them

I don't hate Trump, but I definitely can't endorse him, for example

This is madness

Can you tell me exactly how the Pope endorsed homosexuality?

Are you trying to tell me that it's right to deny homosexuals their civil rights ( eg employment, promotion etc) because of their sexual orientation.? Is doing so not evil?

It's obvious that many people are trying so hard to put words into the mouth of the Pope.

ZedicusZurZoran:
We need to understand the position of the Pope and the Catholic Church. the support for civil union must be clarified by Rome. Gay people are humans and must be protected by the law, but gay marriage is not accepted in the church.

The Pope was not even supporting the civil union of same sex marriage. At least from the answer he gave, I didn't see that at all. He was just saying that the society at large should not deny homosexuals the right to coexist peacefully with others. And that is true whether some people like it or not.

Mayeldah:
Of Course Homosexuals, Arm robbers, liars etc are all children of God and he loves them but God does not approve of their behaviours.

Except they repent they all shall likewise perish.

The Pope is not straight forward in this LGBTQ thing and he is complicit. We are not surprised, the LGBTQ community is gradually taking over governments as well as the Muslim Extremists all in preparation for the emergence of the Anti-Christ.

Christians beware!

Where and how did the Pope approve of homosexuality.? Pls, show me. May be I'm missing something that you saw.

SoftP:
Releasing prisoners might look quite easy,

i hope the Binis can bear the consequences of their actions,
when the prisoners starts invading their homes,
Hope no one will start crying foul.

Here is a step taking too far

The problem you are having is your inability to ponder on what is going on right now.

The real criminals are our politicians, Buhari and co. They created an environment that made it difficult for the youths to thrive. They created those criminals by their actions and inactions. Why do you think they deserve to be in prison while those who are the root cause of the problems are free?

Nigeria will continue to get worse as far as our politicians refused to change. Expect more chaos.

Joystark:
Hahahahhahahahaha

Werey dey disguise.

You just had to set him straight sharp sharp.

Beverlyjean:
Experience has made me understand that men are wired differently.... they are not like we women...rhey really can't control it

I seriously do not agree with you. If you are only meeting the type of men you mentioned above, you better pray hard.