₦airaland Forum

Can u be a
presidential house help to the president despite your school cert? Doing
those house chores in Aso rock. Like washing the president's boxers(and
his wife's own too), polish their shoes, wash dishes, e.t.c. At the end
of each month, you collected 250k.

Will you? Can you?

I've come to read funny comments before crashing for tommorrow's d-day.

Let's roll. Humour!

k

Please pardon me, my english has since been buried. R.I.P-english.

Like seriously, i've bn wondering how come about the birth of grammar & vocabulary that comes up eachday. You see new edition of dictionary everyday.

Don't really know how to put this.
Is it that the inspiration for new grammar & vocabulary comes from above? Where is it coming from?
I learn new vocab today, tommorrow they tell me is out dated.

I see people correcting people's errors in english. I do get myself wondering where is its birth place.

I know one can improve in english through dictionary,articles,novels, e.t.c. but my question is:

Who is the god of english?

Can't get me talking. Never.

Hmmm

Better. Or INEC may come to me.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
2015 ELECTION IS JUST FEW HOURS TO GO AND THERE ARE FIGHTS EVERYWHERE, KILLING OF
INNOCENT PEOPLE, KIDNAPPING.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS THAT CAN GUIDE YOU:
1)DONT KEEP LATE NIGHTS
2)MAKE SURE YOU TELL YOUR FAMILY EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
3)ANYWHERE YOU ARE BE AT ALERT
4)PICK EVERY CALL BECAUSE THE PERSON MIGHT WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE.
5)EAT OR DRINK ONLY AT TRUSTED PLACES
6)PRAY BEFORE YOU ENTER A BUS AND BE SENSITIVE EVEN WHEN IN
IT.
7)DONT BE A POLITICAL THUG.
ONCE YOU SENSE FIGHT AROUND,PICK YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
9)DONT GET INVOLVED IN
STUDENTS PROTEST(AT LEAST FOR
NOW).
10)NIGHT PARTIES ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS FOR NOW.

Just last night I posted something nice about the President(check my profile).

Now in the early hour of today, I was with him in a dream (Like seriously my dreams are true revelations & always come to past).

I showed Mr. President the photo of him on that controversial newspaper (see pix below), he applauded himself. Thereafter, I presented to him a file containing details of major road constructions to be carried out in some parts of this nation, he quickly fell into a deep slumber in seeing the content of the file I presented(na wa o).

Believe you me, this President never woke up till I left the dream world.

This' no joke. My dreams are always true revelations.

Even his opposition I saw him few days ago in the dream, coming out of his hiding place while some little boys were bombing the north in his name but when he got the presidential seat, the bombing stopped. Nigeria became a better place for us all but an Islamic agenda was hiden deep down in his heart.

God help us.

We must VOTE rightly in 2015.
If SOMEONE is;
J = Joyfully
O = On
N = New
A = Assignment
T = To
H = Help
A = All
N = Nigerians
THEN we must also resist anyone
who will
B = Bring
U = Us
H = Hatred
A = And
R = Religious
I = Intolerance
Plz be patriotic and vote for GEJ/
PDP

Funny Ways To Breakup With Your Spouse
The following below are the funniest ways to breakup with your Boy/ Girlfriend...
"16 missed calls?! You killed my battery so you're capable of killing
me... It's over!!!"
"How come mosquito is biting me and not biting you? I smell conspiracy. IT'S OVER!"
"You don't even respect me, I'm talking and you are busy breathing? It's over!"
"So now you're drinking coke that has another man's name on it, better go and find him because it's over between us."
"So Beyonce's "Drunk in love" is your caller tune? I can't trust
alcoholics with my future kids."
"They are shouting bird flu, you are still cooking chicken. You want
to kill me? It is over!"
"I called you and you picked up immediately. You lack patience. I
can't date someone who's not patient."
"Why are you using broom to sweep my room when you know I
support PDP? It's over!"
"You are always abbreviating your texts, you want our children to
be short abi? It's OVER!"
"I told you I love my food hot but you refused to warm the ice
cream. You don't care about me. It's over!"
"You don't pay your tithe, if you can cheat on God, then who am
I? Park your things."

You can add More below to continue the fun..

joeyekembele:
30. A good year to marry

Abi? I'll clock that in two years time..

Mine is as follows:

MTN is 06
Airtel is 62
Etisalat is 84
Glo is 32

Prefer Glo buh pretty late for me.

DEATHMACHINE:
nor be sin ooooo

Yea.. Not a sin.

signz:
Dude, DEATHMACHINE is in the army. You can check his posts to confirm

Yea..Its true also with that dude whose moniker is MillionDollar..

Plz what is braid? I only saw boldly a beautiful & charming lady like my fiancee.

pojophilius:
"Na lie"

buhehehehe

chai

buygala:
Pastor Paul and Sister Anita when they were 'born again'....before they got carried away by the 'sins of the flesh' and the 'pride of life'


See as Paul hold Bible like person wey God dey speak to on per-second billing.... Now he holds silicone nyanshes and artificial boobsies



We, the Members of BAAN (Born again association of Nigeria) are still fervently praying for Brother Paul's deliverance from the claws of Baal

BROTHER PAUL AND SISTER ANITA, JESUS STILL LOVES YOU... DELIVER ALL YOUR WORLDLY RICHES UNTO ME, FOLLOW JESUS AND BECOME FISHERS OF MEN

this nairalander; buygala or Tinubu of a guy funny die.. Ur comment too funny that I forgot to laff.

pojophilius:
Na lie

Excuse me plz, what's "Na lie" ? Me no yan say tears drop..I say tears wan drop.. If u "na lie" me again, the tears go drop..Bet me.

Pathetic *Tears almost dropping*

Babygal4eva:
I will introduce him to someone called A plastic surgeon. Nothing money can't fix.... well almost

How about his offspring? They may possibly have a replica of that head.

wakacome:
If life dey show you pepper,my guy make
pepper soup from am...which means always make something good out from a bad experience......that is the moral of the story...I think GOD loves this man even if a lot of people believed he is a bad man,I think he has GOD grace written all over him...I pray for that grace too....the grace of GOD is what we need...

Go and crash into sambisa forest...

Sambisa? It's a good place now for picnic...d bkh guyz has fled the place so no fear frm me if I crash there..Tnx.

Jona is the highest.. Search thru my profile u'll find it.

just wanna crash now

hip hip

Hmmm...Politics; one people, one interest.

dre11:
It seems this Val's day is causing enough troubles at home

Why would a woman now use the day to carry out her evil act






Maybe we need to scrape it
Just like the other day a woman had to push her man from the story building just because of valentine gone bad and the guy died......

U re liable to ban for bn the FTC after posting ur story.. I no fit support bad tin..

ok

k

MizMyColi:
Amen

I have just one stationed very close to Sambisa.
The only son of his mother.

I pray for his safe return too.

Surely, he'll return.

hmmmm.....