₦airaland Forum

LewisO:
Sometimes i use that to book space, at times use it to just be funny.

I decided not to modify, since it not necessary.

Are u a male or female?

Yea...Funny...Nairalanders with their funny dispositions; very powerful sense of humour...
...My brother, me na male o..

LewisO:
But it's very unfortunate u never read any of my comments!

Maybe in the past...U knw Nairaland is filled with clowns & their funny comments...I couldn't stop laughing when I saw ur "Typing".

LewisO:
Yes!!! Any problem?

No probs, my bro...No skin pain..Just wanna read LewisO's comment..hehhehehhehehehe

LewisO:
Typing...

Still typing?

* flying Kite
* playing soccer with crown cork (canter)
* we fight war using rubber band & bullet made of tiny folded paper.. Kia dat tin dey pain o.. If dem shoot here, o boi u go run go hide cry or na house straight to cry.
* e.t.c

*Modified*

* playing with switch as in off & on repeatedly... Bulb blow, wait for Popsy to land from work.. Na me go report say "bulb just burn na na".

* u won't be my friend if u don't allow me to play with ur toy car.

*Go to school with one pencil, come home with six pencils.

*Too many tins me do na uncountable.

Op, u've said it all.. That's the gospel truth.. 100% truth... I saw all of the aforementioned in 2012.

20 Owners Of Richest Oil Blocks In Nigeria –
Their Names Will Shock You!
It’s more news the North wants GEJ out of the
way, so their licenses can be renewed cos
most of them are expiring from 2016
upwards.
Monumental injustice is being perpetrated to
the people of Niger Delta on whose soil the
oil was found.
These people constitutes the main opposition
to President Goodluck Jonathan today. Please
Read on:
(1) This oil block business is so lucrative that
Danjuma’s Sapetro divested of its investment
in Akpo condensate for $1billion dollars. This
business is second to none in Nigeria. That is
why any attempt to investigate the activities
in this sector will always be futile. The money
is so much that they give bribes in millions of
dollars.
A birthday gift or child naming gift from an
oil block owner to a government official could
be as paltry as $2million dollars, and if the
official’s father died, the condolence gift
could reach mere $3 million dollars. When
they want to bribe legislators, it is in millions
of dollars and any ongoing investigation ends
within weeks. They are so confident that with
excess money they can buy up Nigeria and
they are succeeding
(2) OML 110 with high yield OBE oil fields was
given Cavendish Petroleum owned by Alhaji
Mai Daribe, the Borno Patriarch in 1996 by
Sanni Abacha. OBE oil field has estimated over
500 million barrels of oil. In layman’s
language and using average benchmark of
$100 dollars per barrel, translates to $50
billion dollars worth of oil reserve. When you
remove the taxes, royalties and sundry duties
worth about 60% of the reserve payable over
time you get about $20billion dollars worth of
oil in the hands of a family.
(3) OPL 246 was awarded to SAPETRO, a
company owned by General Theophilus
Danjuma, by Sanni Abacha in 1998. Akpo
condensate exports about 300,000 barrels of
crude daily.
(4) NOML 112 and OML 117 were awarded to
AMNI International Petroleum Development
Company owned by Colonel Sanni Bello in
1999. Sanni Bello is an inlaw to Abdulsalami
Abubakar, former Head of State of Nigeria.
(5) OML 115, OLDWOK Field and EBOK field
was awarded to Alhaji Mohammed Indimi
from Niger State. Indimi is an inlaw to former
Military President Ibrahim Babangida.
(6) OML 215 is operated by Nor East
Petroleum Limited owned by Alhaji Saleh
Mohammed Gambo.
(7) OML 108 is operated by Express Petroleum
Company Limited is owned by Alhaji Aminu
Dantata.
(cool OML II3 allocated to Yinka Folawiyo Pet
Ltd is owned by Alhaji W.I. folawiyo
(9)ASUOKPU/ UMUTU marginal oil fields is
operated by Seplat Petroleum. Seplat is
owned by Prince Nasiru Ado Bayero, cousin
to the Central Bank Governor Lamido Sanusi.
This oil field has the capacity of 300,000
barrels of oil daily. This translates to
$30million dollars daily at average benchmark
of $100 dollars per barrel. Deducting all
sundry taxes, royalties etc , this field can yield
$12billion dollars daily for the owners .
(10)Intel owned by Atiku, Yarádua and Ado
Bayero has substantial stakes in Nigeria’s oil
exploration industry both in Nigeria and
Principe and Sao Tome.
(11) AMNI owns two oil blocks OML 112 and
OML 117 which it runs Afren plc and Vitol has
substantial stakes in oil blocks. Afren plc is
operating EBOK oil fields in OML 67. Vitol lifts
300,000 barrels of Nigerian oil daily. Rilwanu
Lukman, former OPEC Chairman has stakes in
all these named three companies.
(12) OPL 245 was awarded to Malabu Oil&
Gas Company by Sanni Abacha. Dan Etete,
Abacha’s oil minister owns Malabu Oil. In
2000, Vice President Atiku Abubakar
convinced Obasanjo to revoke OPL 245 given
to Malabu Oil. Etete had earlier rejected Atiku’s
demand for substantial stakes in the high
yield OPL 245 and it attracted the venom of
Ota Majesty who revoked the licence.
However, in 2006, Obasanjo had mercy on
Dan Etete and gave him back his oil block
worth over $20 billion dollars.
(13) OPL 289 and OPL 233 was awarded
during Obasanjo era to Peter Odili fronts,
Cleanwater Consortium, consisting of
Clenwater Refinery and RivGas Petroleum and
Gas Company. Odili’s brother in law, Okey
Ezenwa manages the consortium as Vice
Chairman.
(14) OPL 286 is managed by Focus Energy in
partnership with BG Group, a British oil
concern. Andy Uba has stakes in Focus Energy
and his modus operandi is such that you can
never see his name in any listings yet he
controls OPL and OML through proxies
(15)OPL 291 was awarded to Starcrest Energy
Nigeria Limited, owned by Emeka Offor by
Obasanjo . Immediately after the award,
Starcrest sold the oil block to Addax
Petroleum Development Company Limited
(ADDAX) Addax paid Sir Emeka Offor a
farming fee of $35million dollars and still paid
the signature bonus to the government.
Emeka Offor still retains stake in ADDAX
operations in Nigeria.
(16) Mike Adenuga’s Conoil is the oldest
indigenous oil exploration industry in Nigeria.
Conoil has six oil blocks and exports above
200,000 barrels of crude daily.
(17)The oil block national cake sharing fiesta
could take twists according to the mood of
the Commander-in –Chief at the particular
time. In 2006, Obasanjo revoked OPL 246
which Abacha gave to Danjuma because he
refused to support the tenure elongation bid
of the Ota Majesty. In 2000, Obasanjo had
earlier revoked OPL 241 given to Dan Etete
under the advice Atiku. However, when the
Obasanjo-Atiku faceoff started, the Ota
Majesty made a u-turn and handed back the
oil block to Etete.
(18)During the time of Late President
Yarádua , a panel headed by Olusegun
Ogunjana was set up to investigate the level
of transparency in the award of oil blocks.
The panel recommended that 25 oil blocks
awarded by the Obasanjo be revoked
because the manner they were obtained
failed to meet the best practices in the
industry. Sadiq Mahmood, permanent
secretary in the Ministry of Petroleum
endorsed the report to then president with
all its recommendations . As a result of the
report Yarádua revoked eleven oil blocks.
(19) In April 2011 Mike Adenuga attempted
to buy Shell’s OML 30 for $1.2 billion dollars.
The Minister for Petroleum and Nigeria’s most
powerful woman refused the sale of the
OML30 to Adenuga citing national interest.
This block was later sold to Heritage Oil for
$800 million dollars eleven months later.
(20) In the name of competitive bidding,
which Obasanjo introduced in 2005, Officials
bring companies overnight and through
processes best described as secretive and
voodooist they award blocks to party faithful,
fronts and phoney companies. They collect
gratifications running into hundreds of
millions of dollars which is paid into offshore
account and the nation loses billions of
dollars of revenue to private pockets.
During the third term agenda, Obasanjo was
deceived that the allocation of oil block to
party faithfuls is to fund the third term
agenda. With the failure of the third term, the
beneficiaries went home with their fortunes
and thanked God or Allah for buttering their
bread.
Senator Andy Uba co ordinate the award of
the last rounds of oil block by Obasanjo in
2005 and 2007. The then minister of
petroleum, Edwin Daukoru was a mere
errand boy who took instructions from the
presidential aide
The process of sharing Nigeria’s oil block
national cake is as fraudulent now as when
Ibrahim Babangida started the process of
discretionary allocation of oil blocks to
indigenous firms. Discretionary allocation of
oil blocks entails that a president can reward
a mistress who performs wonderfully with an
oil block with capacity for cumulative yield of
over $20 billion dollars without recourse to
any process outside of manhood
attachments.
Babangida, Abacha, Abdulsalami and
Obasanjo awarded discretionary oil blocks to
friends, associates, family members, party
chieftains, security chiefs and all categories of
bootlickers, spokespersons and cult members
without any laid down procedures.
The recipients of such oil blocks will get
funds from ever willing offshore financiers
and partners to graciously settle the
benefactors, the awarders, facilitators and
the Commander-in-Ch ief through fronts.
These settlements mostly paid into foreign
accounts runs into hundreds of millions of
dollars according to the potential yield of the
block.
Sometimes, the awarder (sharer of national
cake and direct intermediaries) demand
additional stakes in the bidding company.
The awarder sends fronts as part of the
directorship and management of the bidding
firms without leaving a link to them. That is
how the oil block national cake is distributed
to a few Nigerians.
Signature bonuses which are paid when an
investor successfully bids, wins and signs
agreement with the petroleum ministry,
running into tens of millions and sometimes
hundreds of millions of naira ,is often waived
off. There is actually no waiver; rather a
diversion of what would have been paid to
government t coffers is paid into private
purse as appreciation gifts.
That is why those in the Petroleum Ministry
dread retirement as though it signifies going
to hell fire. No matter how little your
influence, something substantial must enter
your hands especially in hard currency. The
nation loses billions of dollars in diverted
revenue whenever any round of auction
occurs.
The regime of President Goodluck is not
showing any signs of changing the status
quo. Controversies have trailed the activities
of the Minister of Petroleum and many players
in the Industry accuse her of demanding
stakes from every oil deal. It is hoped that
President Goodluck Jonathan will remember
his transformationa l promise to Nigerians
and endeavour to face the hawks in the oil
industry.
The angst in the air is so much that if this
monster of illegal allocation of oil block is not
addressed, the much touted revolution could
begin all of a sudden and all who condoned
this illegality at the expense of hungry
Nigerians may have nowhere to hide.
Culled from How Babangida, Abubarkar,
Abacha, Obasanjo Shared Nigeria’s Oil Blocks
– Written by Obinna Akukwe

krall:
masturbating makes you feel guilty but fornicating doesnt?
i am lost here.

Gbam! Best comment...God bless you...

I play am die with betting sef... Me na pro.. Like 18yrs ago sha... Those trophy with a used bulb and empty tin milk can then plated with cigar wrapper; that one wey be like gold..

I play am die with betting... Me na pro.. Like 18yrs ago sha.

colossus2:
Shut up!!!

Chai....Na wa o!
It's "harshly rude" saying SHUT UP na...
You would have used KEEP QUIET..That's mild.
Actually, I felt for the Op with tears..I'm soft hearted.

Forget which sorrow...This kind joke dey double the sorrow.

No offence please & thanks for clicking.

The thought of it just ran into my brain-box so I decided to bring it here.

What's your take about it if Nairaland launches a T.V station?

Let's talk frankly or with a sense of humour.

Drop yours...Have fun!

Buhahahahaha

Unpredictable baba..

APC commends Ohanaeze for rejecting motion to endorse Jonathan as consensus candidate By Olawale Kadir...
The All Progressives Congress, APC, has
lauded the decision of the Ohanaeze
Ndigbo for rejecting a motion for the
endorsement of President Goodluck
Jonathan as the candidate of the Igbos in
the 2015 presidential election.
The position of the party was contained in
a statement by the spokesman of the APC in
the South East, Mr. Osita Okechukwu.
According to him, those who rejected the
motion to endorse Jonathan raised by a
Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, chieftain,
Chief Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, at the Imeobi
(inner caucus) meeting of the Ohanaeze
Ndigbo on Saturday are “true Igbo
patriots”.
Expressing joy over the rejection,
Okechukwu said, “Ndigbo have realized
that it doesn’t make sense to put all our
eggs in one basket, especially when the
political scenario in the 2015 presidential
election differs remarkably from that of
2011 when Jonathan was endorsed.”
“Ohanaeze by refusing to endorse
President Jonathan has taken a cue from
Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka’s New Year sermon at
the Adoration Ground, that Nigeria needs
change for the better.
“As Mbaka said, ‘I love President Jonathan
and I used to be his fan, but I want good
for my people and that’s why I want
Nigerians to vote out Jonathan and vote
Buhari.”
He added that “If the Hausas have spread
their dragnets in both PDP and APC and
Yorubas have spread their dragnets in both
PDP and APC, then Ndigbo should not blame
anybody for marginalization in the event of
APC’s victory in the forth coming 14th
February 2015 presidential election.
“Igbos are not only in PDP – we have Igbo
sons and daughters in APC, the main
opposition party in the country today.
“Our son, Chief Chekwas Okorie, is
contesting under UPP, what happens to him
if we endorse Jonathan?
“Ohanaeze is a polygamous father, we must
spread our dragnet like our contemporaries
in the Nigeria project.
“Like the Hausas and Yorubas, we should
take the battle to every flank, not just one
flank because if we channel all our arsenals
to one flank, and it goes the other flank at
the end of the day, nobody will take us
serious if tomorrow again we start
complaining about marginalization.”
According to Okechukwu, “only the self
serving Igbo politicians could rise up in the
midst of the prevailing political scenario
which favours APC to canvass for Jonathan’s
endorsement.”

The District head of Baga community, Alhaji
Baba Abba Hassan has dismissed media
reports of a second attack on Baga by Boko
Haram terrorist which claimed 2,000 lives.
Alhaji Hassan, however, said hundreds of
people were killed during last Saturday
attack on the town. He said the corpses of
those killed were still littered on the streets,
most of the victims of the last attack were
women and children whom the terrorist
pursued into the bush.
Alhaji Hassan also stated that most of the
residents of Baga have crossed into Niger
and Chad republic, while others drowned in
the lake.
He, however, reiterated that there was no
fresh attack on Baga as widely spread by
some foreign media, adding that the actual
figure of those killed could not be
ascertained.
Also, a senator representing Borno North in
the National Assembly, Senator Maina Maaji
Lawan told the BBC, Hausa service that the
number of people killed and houses burnt
is not yet known.

Sloan:
Makes no sense! The president is the leader of the party, never mind the party chairman. None of those are in APC so APC's claim is right! Plus the majority of APC did not come from PDP, except you can show that more than 50% of APC is from PDP! If not, I think is the usual upside down TANoid illogic to distract people from the failure of PDP and talk of APC instead. Useless PDP!

Makes no sense? Sorry o.. What happened to your senses? :D8-)

egift:
[s][/s]

NEXT!

Kai..Wetin na? Haba! U didn't read it with your glasses..I seeeeeee

uzokebes:
.

For this you've done, you're banned for life including other S.BAN. Besides Admin & Mod don dey snore by now.

APC has been consistent in saying that PDP has ruled Nigeria for 16 disastrous years in which corruption, impunity, insurgency, armed robbery and several ills of society held sway.
But at a very close look at the APC, I am seeing:
1. Rotimi Amaechi – 8 years speaker; 7 year, Governor under PDP.
2. Atiku Abubakar – 8 years Vice president under PDP.
3. George Akume – 8 years Governor under PDP.
4. Bukola Saraki – 8 years Governor; 2 years, Senator under PDP.
5. Timipre Sylver – 4 years Governor under PDP.
6. Audu Ogbe – 2 years Chairmanship of the PDP.
7. Aminu Masari – 4 years as the Speaker, House of
Representatives under PDP.
8. Chris Ngige – 3 years Governor under PDP.
9. Rabiu Kwankwaso – 7 years Governor; 3 years Defense minister under PDP.
10. El Rufai – 4 years FCT Minister; 2 years BPE chairman under PDP.
11. And to cap it all, Obasanjo is the navigator of the APC, a man who spent 8 of the disastrous 16
years as the maximum ruler of Nigeria.
It is now clearer that APC is a waste basket of the PDP, where the people who created and perpetuated the 16 disastrous years are now dumped. So where
is the change coming from? Are they now saints because they joined APC?
Pls be WISE & VOTE not for those seeking power by FORCE

DTaj:
You are so smart! The same way he deceived Okadigbo (late former Senate President) and Audu Ogbeh (former PDP National Chairman) when he surprised them with visits and ate pounded yam prepared by their wives and removed them a day after!

Baba wanted Jonathan to lower his guard and he strikes!

On point.. Very correct

O boi... The cold no be here o.. This Harmattan na wa o...e wan finish me here.

Hmm..Obasanjo! That Baba is unpredictable... He keeps his enemies off-balance... You won't know his next plan.. A man full of suprises.

This space shall be on sale by auction as soon as this topic hits FP.. Bidders get ready.

This na big, fat & healthy LIE.

*clears throat*

Japhet04:
I'm happy that at least a man of public recognition has finally concurred to the fact Buhari has a hand in this boko haram issue,even if he is trying to cover up...,

Remember in GEJ's 1st and 2nd year of ruling Nigeria it was nothing but peace all the way but immediately Buhari sensed this he used boko haram as his prima facie tool in sabotaging the integrity of Goodluck's government and I see he has made a very big impact, he has managed to swerve the heart of our people against Goodluck even here on nairaland..,

May God Forgive you Buhari him alone knows your evil deeds..,

God will see you through this election GEJ

Peace

Same man(Buhari) said he'll make the nation ungovernable in 2011...

Na wa o *with a deep sigh of relieve*

So funny that I forgot to laff.

Could APC be the Nigerian version of the
Egyptian Muslim
Brotherhood Party? Check out this:
1. Party Leader - North: Gen Muhammadu
Buhari (Muslim).
2. Party Leader - South: Bola Ahmed
Tinubu
(Muslim).
3. National Chairman: Abdulkareem Bisi
Akande (Muslim).
4. Deputy National Chairman: Aminu Bello
Masari (Muslim)
.
5. National Secretary: Tijjani Musa Tumsah
(Muslim).
6. Deputy National Secretary: Nasir El-Rufai
(Muslim).
7. National Publicity Secretary: Lai
Muhammad
(Muslim).
8. National Treasurer: Sadiya Umar Faruq
(Muslim) 9.
National Financial Secretary: Alhaji Shaibu
Musa (Muslim).
10. National Youth Leader: Abubakar Lado
(Muslim).
11. National Legal Adviser: Muiz Banie
(Muslim).
12. National Deputy Auditor: Bala Jibrin
(Muslim).
13. National Women Leader: Sharia Ikeazor
(Muslim
convert).
14. EX-officio Member: Muniru Muse
(Muslim).
15. EX-officio Member: Alhaji Yemi Sanusi
(Muslim).
Yet, these people want us to believe they
are
PROGRESSIVES and that APC is a national
party.
I think
APC has a hidden religious agenda..Be
guided
people!