₦airaland Forum

Arostar2023:
I trust BAT not to play reach Trump's side.

Arostar2023:
If Trump could do this to Zelensky, now, imagine what he will do to an African leader! Na to publicly cane him

highchief1:
but if na porn u for watch am till the end.a generation of people who find it hard to read.

Procashtips:
A bank manager living in a tiny living room in Nigeria but selecting jobs in Canada.

Friction.

If he was doing well in Nigeria, how come they were living in a tiny apartment?

AfahaAbia:
I repeat if you're above 37 years old and doing well in Nigeria career wise or business wise. You have no reason whatsoever to immigrate to a foreign land. If you try am you go do care work, work for factory,clean gutters tire. You have been warned!!!!

Iamblessed85:
You are right just like gvtasiwaju said. Funny thing is i’ve never seen a woman doing well in Nigeria that resigns to do care worker abroad. But whenever the husband is doing better than them in Naija, they start to guilt trip him to relocate and downgrade especially when the woman has better career prospects abroad like nurses and doctors.

Men can be foolish

EbereGod:
Then why did he not return back to Nigeria back to that satisfaction?

nairalanda1:
Under menene?

Canada no dey favor you if you are not a student who has been admitted there, or a nurse. Doctor, maybe. I don't know what a bank manager and his wife were looking for there. They won't give you a job in business there unless you were working for the Nigerian subsidiary of a Canadian business and they posted you to Canada.

The main thing is that both of them did not do their research. Simple. And instead of adapting, husband was trying to massage his ego.

gforce5:
OP, in this present economy, N10 million is not much if you intend to Japa to countries such as UK, Canada, U.S. or Australia. Do you have extensive work experience in a relevant field? If you do, apply for Canadian PR (Permanent Residency). That is your best option if you want to JAPA to the west. Don't try the study route or tourist visa. Those formats have casted. If you are willing to think outside the box and learn a second language, i will suggest that you look into countries such as Brazil, Mexico or Portugal. Papers guaranteed within 5 years. The goal is not to spend all your money on JAPA.

nairalanda1:
The woman went out and got a menial job. She literally humbled herself and got a job that was beneath her qualificaiton. Man was busy looking for job that 'met his standard' and then was angry when he did not get the job.

And in order to massage his ego, he started using his wife's money to form big boy. Pride destroyed his marriage.

If the man had gotten a job , any menial job, instead of looking for bank manager job in a country where they no know am, none of this would have happened.

You guys should always stop blaming women. Tunde used his hand to destroy his marriage. SImple common sense he no get. If he wanted to remain a bank manager, he should have stayed in Nigeria, and kept his wife there too.

GVTAsiwaju:
He was right. Most of you ladies always shove the idea of relocating down your spouses throat as though Europe is heaven.

galserv:
You are a fat slave living in debts.

APOPTOSIS:
Thank God say person JaPa.
Thunder Fire Poverty

Gerrard59:
Another fairytale. Never existed. Although well written than the useless AI aka chaptgpt write-ups I've come across.

gabbytabby:
The reality for a lot of immigrants is that they have to step down career wise and even retrain in a lot of situations. That is why Canada is best suited to people in their twenties at the beginning of their career.

Canada is reported to have the highest amount of people with PHD driving a taxi so often times one needs to calculate a 3 to 5 years step back before stepping forward and be ready to move initially where the job is, to have any opportunity to thrive.

Unfortunately some of our men are too proud especially when they have risen through the ranks in Nigeria imagine a consultant medical doctor coming to do a nursing assistant job. In that sense UK and US are usually better than Canada. It got a little better when a lot of Chinese went back to China.

Manage your expectations appropriately cos to me, Canada seems some invested in the application fees.


Don’t take it personal cos even their own degree holders do what people with GCSE ie administrative roles do in most countries. It is a country with too many educated people so oftentimes one has to stand out via work ethics or a masters program to get ahead.

Administration1:
Lies, lies, lies

dalongjnr:
Truly, this is apt 👌.
The wild, wild west of the western life is not a joke.
The west is a leveller.
Many are hooked to drugs and other vices for escapism.

Racoon:
Reality or fiction? Life in the mirrors. Actually JAPA have turned out to be the worst nightmare for many immigrants.

That was what I told my mother when she asked why I hadn’t called to tell her we had settled in. It wasn’t that he had died—no, death would have been easier. He was right there, breathing, moving, eating. But the man I married, the one who promised to love and cherish me, had disappeared the moment we stepped foot on foreign soil.

It had always been our dream to relocate. Canada was the promised land, a place where we could build a better life for ourselves and our children. We spent years saving, applying, and praying for this moment. When my husband, Tunde, finally secured his visa, we celebrated like we had won the lottery.

"This is it, Lara! We’ve made it!" he had said, lifting me in his arms as we danced around our tiny living room in Lagos.

But no one warned me. No one told me that moving abroad was not just about packing bags and boarding a plane. No one told me that marriages were buried in the cold foreign soil, that the man you married in Nigeria could become unrecognizable within months.

It started with little things.

At first, Tunde was frustrated. Back home, he had been an executive at a bank, respected, admired. But in Canada, no one cared about his title. His degree meant nothing here. He was just another immigrant with no "Canadian experience."

"I can't be doing these menial jobs, Lara. Me, a whole branch manager, working in a warehouse? It’s embarrassing."

So he sat at home, waiting for a miracle, while I took the first job I could find—cleaning offices at night. I worked like a machine, scrubbing floors while my husband scrolled endlessly through job postings, rejecting anything he thought was beneath him.

Then the blame started.

"If you had just stayed home instead of insisting on coming here, we wouldn’t be suffering like this!"

"You think you’re better than me now because you’re earning in dollars?"

When he wasn’t blaming me, he was out. At first, he said he was networking, meeting with "contacts." Then, he stopped bothering with excuses. He would leave the house in the afternoon and return the next morning, smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume.

The first time I asked him where he had been, he laughed.

"Are you my mother?"

The second time, he slapped me.

That was the day I realized my husband was gone.

He stopped caring about the home. Bills were my problem. The children became my responsibility. He was just a guest in our house, showing up when he pleased, acting like we didn’t exist.

Then I found out about her.

A younger woman, a fellow immigrant, but one who had adapted quickly. She had a car, a better job, and most importantly, she had no responsibilities. No nagging wife, no crying children. Just fun and freedom.

I confronted him, hoping—foolishly—that he would deny it, that he would at least pretend to feel ashamed. But he just shrugged.

"Lara, you’re stressing me. This is how things are here. Women abroad don’t disturb their husbands like this. You need to adjust."

Adjust?

To what? A marriage that had become a prison? A husband who had turned into a stranger?

I tried. For the sake of my vows, for the sake of the life we had built. I prayed. I fasted. I begged. But you cannot hold on to a man who has already let go.

The final straw came when I found out he had stopped paying rent. I had been sending him money every month, trusting him to take care of it while I focused on our savings. But he had been spending it elsewhere—on her.

When the eviction notice came, he didn’t even pretend to care.

"You’re the one working, aren’t you? Fix it."

That night, I packed his bags. When he came home, I pointed to the door.

"Leave, Tunde."

For the first time in months, he looked shocked.

"You can’t throw me out. I’m your husband!"

"No, Tunde. My husband is dead. You killed him."

He stared at me, and for a moment, I saw something flicker in his eyes. Regret? Shame? Maybe. But it was too late.

He left. And I didn’t cry.

Because I had already mourned him long before that night.

So, if you ever dream of relocating, dream carefully.

Because sometimes, the plane ticket isn’t just taking you to a new country—it’s taking your marriage to its grave.

Looking back, I realize that things might have turned out differently if we had truly prepared for what relocation would mean for our marriage.

First, Tunde needed to be mentally prepared for the reality of starting over. Many Nigerian men struggle abroad because they are used to a system where their status as providers is tied to respect. When that status is stripped away, they feel lost and insecure. If he had humbled himself and taken whatever job was available, even if it wasn’t what he wanted, it would have kept him engaged and given him a sense of purpose.

Second, we should have prioritized communication and teamwork. Marriage is a partnership, especially in a new country where both partners must adjust. If Tunde had seen me as his ally instead of his competition, we could have faced our struggles together instead of allowing resentment to build between us.

And finally, we should have set clear expectations before we moved. Many couples relocate without discussing their roles, financial responsibilities, and the changes that might come with a new culture. If we had talked about these things openly before leaving Nigeria, maybe we would have been able to navigate the transition better.

Relocation doesn’t have to be the death of a marriage, but it requires humility, patience, and a willingness to adapt. Without those things, no matter how strong the love was at the beginning, the marriage may not survive the journey.

YoruBads:
Vote Yoruba again in 2027 and they'll tax even the air that you breathe.

mrvitalis:
Lmaooo oga take up the challenge na leave long Grammer

Ikpazu worst Igbo governor vs 2 Yoruba state
2 project from ikpazu for 1 project from the two states

It's been two years plus no Yoruba have taken this challenge... So you guys actually know your governors are failures? But always projecting it on igbos?

NDSMELODY:
I wish to go to Canada, I would need 6-10M to migrate. Alternatively as you said, I have a business idea which is selling Electrical appliances in whole sales but I couldn't gather money to start up the business.