₦airaland Forum

3. But you have to tell your family that you've been admitted.

2. And you're finally admitted but you Applied for Medicine And Surgery But you were Given Soil Science

Some of us can relate to these pictures during our 1st Year In school

1. When you scored high in ur JAMB and Post UTME And sure of admission. You'll be waiting for ur admission Letter like this.

1. when you walk in front of an overhead projector in Class

2. In a dead silent classroom

3. The face you make when you get past someone you know but not just enough to say hello

4. The moment some1 borrows your phone to see 1 pic. AND THEY START SCROLLING.

Hello Nairalanders, A very Rainy Evening Here in Abia State. And this section here's so boring cold was thinking about some Weird Question people ask me so I decided to bring it up here. What's the Weirdest question you've ever been Asked?

I'll post mine soon but one of them was some years back. The day my kid brother asked me if *Fishes do have Stomach Ache? I was like wat a

Been laughing Hard Num 2 n 14 tho

Hello Nairalanders, A very Rainy Evening Here in Abia State. And this section here's so boring cold was thinking about some Weird Question people ask me so I decided to bring it up here. What's the Weirdest question you've ever been Asked?

I'll post mine soon but one of them was some years back. The day my kid brother asked me if *Fishes do have Stomach Ache? I was like wat a

1. Tom is younger than Rose, but older than Will and Jack, in that order. Rose is younger than Susie, but older than Jack. Jack is younger than Jim. Susie is older than Rose, but younger than Jim. Jim is older than Tom. Who is the oldest?

analice107:
Jealousy go shame.

hehehehehehehe

more

1. When Women pack, when men pack

2. The look on every man's face when a woman is driving.

3. When someone busts in the bathroom stall while you're still there

4. When you discover two of your friends have been dating.

Caption this... Hello Ladies!!! This is an accurate
photo of why someone
should date me... Remember I'm single.

That Moment When your Account is Empty And you Have to pray for money

analice107:
ah bros i must attend church oo. weytin i go dey house dey do nah? i cook sunday rice. make i ping you some?

Jonzing

Tottenham Failed to Secure a Win Against Chelsea. Which simply means, they've handed the title to Leicester City. Their 1st premier league victory in History. [b]ALL HAIL THE NEW CHAMPIONS OF ENGLAND!!! Leicester City[/B]

I’ve observed that in every department In school, there are this set of students you would always find in your department no matter what. Well, with enough said, let’s start from somewhere.

1.THE S.U(s):
These sets of students are always “spiritual” thus looking @ every other student in the class like sinners. Any small issue,they would start quoting bible!

2.THE EFIWES/GURUS:
Theses one’s are the first class students always reading at the slightest opportunity. At times,they make you look very unserious. They hardly joke/play in the class. Always reading!

3.THE SLEEPING MACHINES:
I have two of them in my department. They can sleep for Africa! Morning,afternoon or evening lectures,they are always dozing or sleeping like tomorrow no dey.

4.THE DECEIVERS:
I call them the deceivers because these sets of students are the most playful in class. Always too playful either lecture is on or not. The deceiving part of it is these people read like teracopy behind close doors,have good grades yet always too playful. Most times,they appear unserious but let result come out,you would be shocked to see them with the best grades. The foolish students joins them playing not knowing what He does behind close doors.
5.THE I.T.Ks:
These people can be very annoying! Always wanting their own opinion/suggestion to supersede others. They think they are always right whenever issues arises.

6.THE COOL DUDE/BAE:
These ones hardly talks in class. They just enter,sit,write and leave the class. They only tend to talk with just two people in a class of 80.

7.THE WAVES STUDENT:
You only see these ones whenever there’s test,pratical & exam. Sometimes,you wonder if truly they are students.
8.THE CAUSE TROUBLE:
At any slight opportunity,they don cause trouble. Fightwith this,fight with that. Hardly will a week go by without them fighting anybody. They can also implicate the whole class at times.
9.THE ACTIVISTS:
I belong to this set of students Coz I hate cheating like madt! We challenge unserious lecturers,corrupt class reps who all they want is to milk you dry and yet embezzel course notes money. We challenge any decision that is against the interest of the students.
10.THE OLODOs:
These ones no sabi anything! They can even tell you to spell their name for them or remind them their matric number. Sitting with such people during exams can be frustrating. They beg you to spell for them even after telling them answers! Most times I often wonder how these ones take pass Jamb, Post Utme, Waec and others.
11.THE FRONT/BACK SITTERS:
No matter the circumstances,these ones will always sit either in the front or at the back. Some even have permanent sit they assigned to themselves.
12.THE FUNNY BONES:
A day without them in class,it always boring. They can make joke out of anything! Even lecturers are aware of their humorous attitudes. No matter how the whole class is serious or tensed up,they would always make you laugh.
13.LATE COMERS:
Morning,afternoon or evening,they are always late to lectures so much that lecturers know them as serial late comers.

14.TALKATIVES:
Football, fashion,politics,celebrities,movies,lecturers,coursemates,they would always have something to talk about. They hardly keep quiet. They can talk from now till rapture comes.
15. Add yours……

My Question Where did you fall into?

You need to see some students looking like this when they copied the exam but still failed.

Whenever I look at this Caption, I laugh hard That moment When you're graduating and you can't even remember what you studied

President Muhammadu Buhari finally broke his silence on the rising waves of suspected Fulani herdsmen attacks in different parts of the country, and has ordered the police and the military to take all necessary action to stop the carnage. President Buhari directives to the service chiefs came on Wednesday following an attack in Ukpabi- Nimbo, on Monday, a community in Uzo- Uwani local government area of Enugu State, where dozens of people were killed by heavily armed Fulani herdsmen. Another attack was reportedly launched in Umuchigbo, on Wednesday another community in Enugu East Council Area of the state. The Minister of Information, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, who spoke on behalf of the president condemned the senseless killings by the herdsmen in the strongest terms and expressed sympathy for those who lost their loved ones and property in the wicked acts,stating that his government would not fold its arms and allow the cruel acts to continue. In another statement signed by presidential spokesperson, Garba Shehu, Buhari said bringing the violence to an end was now a priority for his administration,and has assured Nigerians of his administration’s continued commitment to ensuring the safety of lives and property in all parts of the country. The statement also revealed that the President was scheduled to meet with Governor Ifeanyi Ugwuanyi, to receive further briefing on the attack on Ukpabi- Nimbo and discuss additional measures to forestall similar attacks and restore public confidence. Acting on the president’s directive, the Inspector General of Police (IGP) and heads of the nation’s other security agencies are already taking urgent steps to fully investigate the attacks, apprehend the perpetrators and bring them to justice.

Adasun:
in other words tell her u want to get out of the friendzone8)

not that tho

A court in Nigeria has sentenced a
former local MP to 154 years in jail
for corruption and money
laundering. Gabriel Daudu, from central Kogi State,
was found guilty of 77 charges,
Nigeria's anti-corruption body says. But the judge ruled that the sentences
would run concurrently, meaning
Dauda will only spend two years in
jail .Corruption is endemic in Nigeria and
so far the Economic and Financial
Crimes Commission (EFCC) has only
managed to secure a handful of
convictions. President Muhammadu Buhari won
elections last year, promising to tackle
the problem...

Source:: BBC.COM

My Question is From 154 Years to 2Years? how manage?

mrtantalizers:
Mr op, u are an ambassador of sin and immorality. So u are teaching us how to fornicate. This thread will fail because it promotes sin. Pls y do uth of ds generation give their strength to sex. d way we talk about sex is as if one would die without it. Am I sounding spiritual? Pls bear wit me. But its somehow disgusting. Most Nigerian uth are not making any impart. I weep for this generation. Yet they will blame Saraki. What I know is that if some of these uths are given the chance to lead this nation, they will do worse than Saraki. Friends our uthful days should not only be used for sex. there are many miles ahead.

No time for Arguement

I'll start from the Least

8. Be Honest &
Realize You Have
Been Friendzoned. The first step of this short guide to
getting out of the nasty friend zone is to be honest with yourself! If you have tried to be intimate with
her to no avail, you need to face the
facts that you are viewed as just a
friend right now.
Pay attention: With this in mind, you can now take immediate action to get
finally out of the routine of being her buddy and hopefully turn your
relationship into a love interest!

7.Build Your
Confidence & Act Like
a Man: Confidence and ability to lead is
something that every male on the
planet has within them. With high
self-esteem, you learn how to act like a man and can finally break free of this dreaded zone! Instead of merely sitting back, act
with self-assurance. Ask her to go out on a date, call her,
and never let your feelings alter your
character. Your confidence is an
incredible turn on for every woman. Keep in mind: If you get emotional because she is busy or simply can’t
go on a date tonight, you will ruin
your chances forever!

6.Give Her
“Gift of Missing You” Many people get stuck in the
mentality that the other person is
only a friend, but they never actually
try to get out of it. I bet you are trying
to be always here for her to help and
listen to her. Instead, do the exact opposite! If she calls you as usual, just say to
her politely in the middle of a
conversation that you do not have
time right now and that you need to
do something else. This tiny gesture
will keep her thinking about you and why are you not here for her as you
always were! She may even become afraid that she may be losing you[b/]. Remember, it is not always the best
to be there for her every time if you
want to create a certain level of
attraction, especially if you have been
stuck in the nasty friend zone.
[b]Keep in mind:[b/] Giving her the gift of “missing you” is the perfect way to
do this!

5.[b] Improve
Yourself & Work on
Your Appearance: You need to make yourself desirable!
There are many ways to do this, but
you need to start immediately, and
the perfect place to begin is with
your wardrobe. The woman of your dreams wants
you to look dapper and respectable! Now, everyone has their style, and
you know what group you fit the
best. Nice shoes, shirts and pants
along with a nice new haircut will do
the trick. The other area that every man can work on is his body. If you need to lose weight or simply want to bulk
up, a 5-day routine will suffice from
the beginning!
Keep in mind: One pound of fat is equal to 3,500 calories, so aim to
burn 700 calories while at the gym
within one hour. It is not about how
long you stay at the gym, but the
intensity of the workouts that will
lead to significant results!

4.Gradually Begin to Touch Her: Touching her in a playful way is an
excellent idea and will let her know
you are interested. Do not grope or
grab her. Instead, you should do the
following:
+Touch her hair
+Hug her
+ Put your arm around her
+ Cuddle You want to touch her in a way that is cute, creates attraction, but is not
intrusive. The goal is to make her feel
comfortable with you and enjoy your
time spent together. Keep in mind: Tickling is also an excellent way to break the ice!

3.Balance
Between Being Nice
Guy & Bad Boy: Unfortunately, you can’t always be
nice when it comes to being friend-
zoned. Often, a guy will become the
friend that takes all of the abuse and
wrong attitude in the process! Be nice, bring her out for drinks or to
a movie, but never let her walk all
over you. The bad boy inside of you must come
out at some point. Every woman
loves a bad boy, so be protective,
outgoing and do not let anyone
disrespect her. Extra advice: Be cocky and funny from time to time. Chicks love that!

2. Start Flirting
with Her to Create
Sexual Tension: Do you flirt with her or do you only
listen to her problems over the
phone? You have to let her know
that there is some interest on your
part. This is done by flirting and creating sexual tension in the process! Remember, everyone likes a
challenge and a little hot talk can lead
her right into your arms. When flirting, you want her to feel:
+Special
+Happy
+ Like the only women in the room
Joke, laugh, cuddle, hug, touch her
playfully and let her know that there
is a flame that needs to be sparked.
You also want to be original. Cheesy pickup lines may work 1 in 1000
times, but being unique and standing out works almost 100% of the time. Please note: Comment on her new haircut or shoes, and pay attention to
her. When she makes a small change
in her appearance, and you notice,
this is the ultimate compliment!

1.Make Your
Move & Do Not Wait
for Too Long: If you allow yourself to stay just a
friend, your opportunity will come
and go. There will be other men
trying to sweep her off of her feet,
and waiting may just ruin your chances altogether! Today, make it a point to give her a
call and make your move . No one knows what tomorrow holds. Make your move today while you still can!

#0. ADD YOURS...

I rep. Department Of EDUCATION / ACCOUNTANCY. poster below me, Who you rep?

Hello Nairalanders, to be a Nigerian student is not easy oo. Our Everyday Struggle. #ALUTA CONTINUA there are varieties of department In our institutions and now, I think It's time for us to Rep our various DEPARTMENT/DISCIPLINE Lets know which Department have the
most members on Nairaland.
Oya Lets gooo!!!

Omeny:
Public Universities is still the best no doubt unlike what we have in Primary and Secondary level!

I Rep UNILAG 500L ACCT

God Bless 9ja

you mean Accountancy

All the 36 state governors have been challenged to monitor
petroleum products distribution in
their respective states, in a bid to
tackle the persistent fuel shortages,
particularly of premium motor spirit,
PMS, also called petrol. This is a fallout of a crucial meeting
between President Muhammadu
Buhari and the Minister of State for
Petroleum Resources, Dr Ibe
Kachikwu, sources close to the
meeting toldVanguard on the telephone. Accordingly, the governors were
also charged to set up task forces to
monitor products movement from
the depots to various destinations,
to help the Federal Government
fight the high incidence of hoarding and products diversion that had
characterised the market in the
recent time. The charge came, even as the
National Petroleum Marketing
Company, NPMC, said the Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation,
NNPC, through its marketing
subsidiary, had imported about 81 PMS-laden cargoes from January till
date.
Loading schedules
In addition to setting up task forces,
the state governors are equally
charged to demand for the vessel
schedules and loading activities of
PMS in their respective states. “Government wants to find out
where the products are going, so
governors have been told to
request for loading activities every
day from marketers, whether NNPC,
majors or independents,” the source said. Confirming Federal Government’s
directive to the governors,
Executive Director, Commercials,
NPMC, Mr. Justine Ezeala, told
Vanguard: “We have gone to Lagos
State governor to give him the vessels schedule and loading
activities in the past one week. We
want to be as transparent as
possible with this issue.”
Why scarcity persists
Asked why the scarcity has
persisted, despite claims of cargo
discharges and involvement of
more importers of petroleum
products, Ezeala said: “It is no
claims at all, cargoes are discharging in all our depot
locations as we speak. ‘’To put it clearly for you, as at April
21, we have already brought in 24
cargoes. In January, we imported
21 cargoes; March was our lowest
because of the weather issues with
offshore refineries. "We brought in 14 cargoes, so
those who are saying the cargoes
are not coming in are not being fair
to the government or NNPC.” He noted that there was no scarcity
in January and February when
there were fewer cargoes, adding:
“We have increased the number of
imports in April, which has not even
ended, to 24 and yet scarcity persists. So, where are the products
going to?” He disclosed that NPMC planned to
increase the number of cargoes to
38 by month end, adding that for
those that were already on ground,
key marketers had been invited to
come with their smaller vessels to lighten the mother vessel. “Products are being taken to Warri,
Calabar, and Port Harcourt. We have
continued to load out more trucks
to Lagos and Abuja than we were
ever doing before.” He insisted that all of NNPC/NPMC
claims were verifiable because,
according to him, “the loading
schedules we gave to the Lagos
State governor contains the number
of trucks that left our depots, the stations where they are taken to,
including the names of the streets
and quantity delivered. “That is why government has told
all the states to set up task forces to
monitor where the products are
going, so we can stop this incidence
of hoarding and diversion by
marketers.”
Source: vanguardngr.com

“Would you rather be loved or have a lot of money?” Pls Just One Option Love or Money? You wanna know my answer? Lalasticlala come out of the Class and answer the question.

Good Evening Fellas. Lets have fun with this Topic. What is that thing you have done in your relationship life that you are most proud of whether past or present? Oya Your views...
I know some People Will wanna know about OP. As a matter of fact Ladies, i'm still single

falconey:
So pessimistic even good news sounds bad

guy you dey everywhere

SANDOSKI:
Definitely.........




*whispers into his ears, I love my Dad n Mum at the same time*

and so wat