₦airaland Forum

Let's go.. no time

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1. “Show you pepper.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/face-aku.jpg
A Nigerianism for hot revenge, basically.

2. “Dress for me.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/beyonce-bruhh.jpg
A Nigerianism that really just means ‘move or
shift’.

3. “Hear the smell.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/confuse-man-e1460022059226.jpg
Bruh, how do you “hear” smell?

4. “I’m coming.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/kim-bye.jpg
It’s extra confusing because they say it while
they are leaving.

5. “How market?”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/giphy-5.gif
A Nigerianism for “how’s life?”

6. “Lying on me.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/lie.jpg
They actually mean lie ‘against’ me.

7. “Siddon there.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/beyfeat.png
They really mean “don’t dull yourself”.

8. “Dey your lane.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/stay-in-your-lane-e1466163924855.jpg
A Nigerianism for ‘mind your business’.

9. “Shine your eye.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/segun-arinze-.jpg
A Nigerianism for ‘don’t be naive’.

10. “Fall my hand.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/fall-my-hand.jpg
A Nigerianism for ‘let me down’.

11. “Before nko?”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/can-we-talk-already-_62.gif
A Nigerianism for ‘what did you expect?’

12. “If I hear.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/if-i-hear-e1442917678425.png
They actually mean it’s impossible.

13. “If you like, don’t…”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/mother-look.jpg
It may sound like a suggestion, but it’s not.
They mean you better do it.

14. “It’s not your fault.”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/judgin-you.gif
Don’t fall for it. They mean it’s actually your
fault.

15. “Is it fair?”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/is-it-fair-e1466165719872.png
A rhetorical Nigerianism for ‘it’s not fair’.

16. “How far?”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/binoculars.jpg
It’s not a measure of distance, it’s a
Nigerianism for ‘how are you?’

17. “Who sent you message?”
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/shrug.jpg
A Nigerianism for ‘nobody asked you to do
that’.

ADD YOURS...

stevolution5:
10 n 11 reli cracked me up!dat kind of smile will water even d devils heart!

exactly

pussypounder:
Lalasticlala come do justice to this thread

I keep wondering where he might be.
CBC; Seun, lalasticlala

BossDanniee:
Make sense.. Frontpage straight!!

Gbam.

christopheru:
16.You, when an iPhone user moves to Android.
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/CkMRm4vWgAAH4vk.jpg
You have seen the Light.

feel free to add yours

profojah2:
That moment you type a Yoruba sentence like "Mo ti gbo" (I've heard) and the auto-correct says Month to go"..

goldenruby:
Cc Nitefury .. Runs out*

i can relate

gbens2000:
nairaland bae be like this, after being bashed by mrcork

you nailed it'

Youngpo413:
That movie go sweet o, three confirm comedians...

i dey tell you

swtdrms:
Ur 3D won't see anything...am good in d game

hahahaha

5 Hilarious Pictures every Nairalander can relate to .

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1. When to try to load Nairaland but you get error message
[img]http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTIozEBGewMBwBShLAOLMq5xnATybKxXmQMZkzgcqD3_l3x9jDV0dpKiPy4[/img]

2. When you finally got passed the error
[img]http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRA5UB0VES3ZaiZMNiXa5LKA8Pu73ib3EiC8QLgwWwfpBfx0sqVHzMruA[/img]

3. This is how few
nairalanders (like me) react to topics of "celebrities showing their huge Cleavage and curves."
[img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzt02s9QcrqLSPbHDWqg1M7m6ftfuubxomQ57v-DAMxTEydscUPHFz8w[/img]
Watin Concern me. Who your boobs and curves Epp

4. And how Some sit and in through the topic.
[img]http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTo_tgYezjkGyQkSF2xbxe7g3q02lBROIntm0qgT1A05mzB5cZ2vc9Le88[/img]

5. How some Nairalanders Runaway from Useful topics.
https://www.theaveragegamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Probably-International-Playtime.jpg

6. How they Flood Irrelevant topics .
https://betanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/people-crowd.jpg

7. How nairalanders be when Seun is looking for new Mods to employ.
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3760053_1281_jpegf40eab610106b5254f00a10c5851a909

8. Lastly,
..
..
..
..
..
..
How Lalasticlala and some other mods run to Snake, and boobs Thread..
https://i.imgur.com/x6xoS5d.jpg


[size=20pt]HIT OR MISS??[/size]

OYA ADD YOURS
Just for fun...

swtdrms:
Ehen, how re u so sure am not the guy of ur dream? Anyway sha, a trial will convince you.

observing you two in 3D

Una too like better thing. Chai

Ronpet777:
Ok,good.But who all these girls help

i don't know. Ask Them.

1.The Razz Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/8M7V0618.jpg
Will embarass you in public
You can’t take her out
Her boyfriend is probably named Sege

2.The Lowkey Most Wanted Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Genevieve_Nnaji-300x300.jpg
Nobody knows who she is dating
But everybody still wants her
She has different boyfriends she doesn’t even know about

3.The Fortunate Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Tiwa_Savages_studio_portrait.jpg
Everybody likes her and pities her
Can give you 40% of her salary if she loves you
Once you break up with her good things start happening to her

4.The Role Model Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Omotola-Jalade-Ekeinde-Nollywood-Star-Actress1.jpg
Is dating a rich guy
Has the best and perfect relationship
She is your boyfriend’s WCW

5.The Talkative Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/3-Seyi-Shay-OnoBello-818.jpg
Wants to talk all the time
Is always making grammar mistakes
Can still steal your boyfriend

6.The “our wife” Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Nigerian-female-celebrities-who-have-stepped-out-rocking-their-natural-hair-With-Pictures-theinfong.com-700x497-nse.png
Is very pretty and liked by everyone
Will cook for her boyfriend and his friends
Cries a lot when she is maltreated

7.The Patient Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/IbakaTV-Annie-Macaulay-Idibia-6c3f4.png
Treats her boyfriend right all the time
Will forgive you if you cheat
Only if you sing “African Queen” three times

8.The Greedy Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Yemi-Alade.jpg
Cannot keep her eyes somewhere
Always looking for some special type of boyfriend called Johnny
She will use all your money for funny hairstyles

9.The Family’s Favorite Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Asa.jpg
Is the best girlfriend
Her boyfriend’s mother and her are best friends
Her boyfriend likes to call her “my wife”

10.The Gist Bank Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/linda-ikeji_london.jpg
Has every human beings gist
Will tell you who your boyfriend is cheating on you with
Will show you her expensive bag when you ask “where is your boyfriend?”

11.The Relationship Advisor Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Toke-Makinwa-for-the-Celebrity-Shoot-2nd-Edition-Bellanaija-September2014004.jpg
Will tell you what to do to have the best relationship
Always has relationship problems
Can dress well and steal your man at your own wedding

12.The Secret Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/bhun.png
Will dress better than the host at any party
Can help you date your boyfriend
Knows how to run a catering business

13.The Angry Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Toyin-Aimakhu2.png
She probably pressured her boyfriend into a relationship
Can beat you up and cause trouble if you don’t propose quickly
Will break up with you and block you on instagram if you smile to another girl

14.The Sure Girlfriend
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/toolz-3.jpg
Comes from a rich family
Spoils her boyfriend whenever she can
Your boyfriend is probably in her inbox

Feel free to add yours

16.You, when an iPhone user moves to Android. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/CkMRm4vWgAAH4vk.jpg You have seen the Light.
feel free to add yours

15.When the OS argument is going on and Windows phone users want to join in. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/stay-in-your-lane.jpg This doesn't concern you.

14.When your auto-correct starts correcting and suggesting words for you.
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/I-said-what-i-said-gif.gif
No auto-correct, I really meant to type that.

13.You, refusing to update your OS because there will always be problems. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/not-happening-meme.png Update Always Come with Terrible Ringtones

12.When people make fun of Android Snapchat quality. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/crying-in-bed.jpg i'm not crying.

11.When Google Now cannot really understand your accent.
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/big-sean-ignore-e1460988882367.jpg
You better behave.

10.When these phone manufacturers release a new, more expensive Android phone. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/stop-there.png They all look the same.

9.When your Android falls face down and it is not a Samsung or HTC. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/kevin-sad.jpg when you're ready, you'll stand up

8.The struggle of using your Nigerian bank MasterCard on the Playstore. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/KUKU-KILL-ME.jpg Kuku kill me

7.When other people already have an app update but you’re still there waiting like:
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/waiting-long.jpg
Ordinary update.

6.When an app is not available in the Nigerian play store. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/disrespect.jpg Where is it now available?

5.Whenever an iPhone user is complaining about battery life. https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/ntoi-2.jpg Who send you?

4.The difference between you and an iPhone user.

android users:
-can i have my phone please?

people with iPhones:
-can i have my iPhone 6s plus Gold aircon tomato sauce mushroom please.
[img]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRwuFA0tOOQWkZVOrmjAZyKNrGGUq2mSuPmyTF1g8u7BrmAkapjdyiIJTv3[/img]
Ugh!

3.…But pretty much any wire can charge your device.
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/AsrtFiDjk-YPrQFG2hTvmFiA-jb4qVXMJPyeUPwRMstr.jpg
And it’s not even expensive.

2.When your charger spoils…
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/AkJqiowtRk0Tj8LwfiONPHFDxfpP9v5QA-vmKsS_UVF0.jpg
What the…!

16 Things That Are Too Real For Nigerians Who Use Android Devices

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1. 1.When the inside of your phone that costs N120,000 is the same as the inside of another N10,000 Android device.
https://zikoko.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/beyonce-look.jpg
Oh joy!

quivah:
But your 1,2,3,6,7,9,12,13,14,16 are not for fun?
Everything on that list is hilarious..except no 16 and maybe no 12 (which of course is not possible) except if there's a maid to cook the food before she comes back.

hahaha

Quintee:
Oh, I'm not aware o. You should have told me so that I can grab my own sharp sharp. E no good o, you for tell me now.
But shey na dollar still cause the scarcity abi wetin?

lol.

PinketteDawn:
Sorry op, apart from the last one, none of those points there make any sense. I actually thought the whole thing was a joke, that's why I initially commented that you are funny. Didn't know you thought....sorry, BELIEVE that some of those points are correct.

lol