₦airaland Forum

A

A

A

A

More

Pics

Get this super clean highlander today. It comes fully loaded like the limited edition and the only thing it doesn't have is the thumb start feature. Dvd,navigation,dvd head rest,back-up camera,3 row leather seats,alloy wheels,super neat interior and exterior,etc. Call 07083971264 or ping 24dfe76d.

More

Pics

Get this camry today. It comes loaded with full options like dvd headrest,dvd on the dashboard,navigation system,back-up camera,alloy wheels,leather interior and 4 cylinder engine. Call 07083971264 or ping on bbm 24dfe76d

Pics

Get this 2010 corolla le today. Features include dvd,navigation,back-up camera,alloy wheels,chilling ac,fabric interior,etc. Call 07083971264 or ping on bbm 24dfe76d

Obama,the chief executive distabilizer of the entire universe.

May God bless you for your post. You just echoed my innermost thoughts and shared my exact opinions. You just proved to be one of the very few sensible and responsible ladies around. The funny thing about all these is that,I don't keep late nights nor sleep out and as such,she can't say she learnt it from me. Her immediate elder sister from my mum's side who happens to be my immediate younger sister,doesn't live that way. When she was around,I never had the cause to shout or complain about anything. She'd do all cleanings and cookings by herself. But with this baby sister of mine,the reverse is the case. I do 90% of the cooking in the house(until she started cooking her food separately after I flogged her). On several occassions,I'd be the one to fix dinner when I get back from work at and she'd walk into the kitchen to dish her food(not that she doesn't know how to cook).

Enoquin:
@chronique Reading your story made me get angry on your behalf. A 24 year old is grown and in some cases too not so grown as they would like to think. A child that would come in continually close to midnight (not rarely but continually) is disespectful BUT you shouldn't have flogged her (I know you now realize that). I am female and if my sister did that continually, I wouldn't have opened the gate for her that night and the next day, tell my parents to come and pick up their child. Much less, cooking seperately and not sweeping the house, I can't deal with that kind of behaviour.

Apart from her attitude, I think the bf also has more of the blame. No responsible male keeps a lady till late and allows her enter her home at midnight not once or twice without calling to apologize to her guardian or who she stays with and trying not to make it a repeat occurence. It is wrong and disrespectful.

I love my siblings and our journey has also been fraught by strains and misunderstandings but I learn from the misunderstandings and so do they. As the learning helps create new boundaries and adjustments.
No matter how high I raise my voice when angry, none of them replies back and as such we have never gotten into a shouting match.


Apart from Parents' upbringing, I think each sibling - except for the absolute crazies or evil ones - is responsible for continual unity in the family. So reading through most posts on this thread about how your sister/brother hates you whereas you have been the saint isn't trying to make things right. No one is perfect not even the saintly 'you'. Love is an act that is sometimes painful to carry out but as long as you preach love you better learn to wear its 'selfless' shoes.

Yes, as the first born child I deserve some form of respect but I also respect the fact that my siblings are growing individuals and as such deserve respect too. Do they get me angry? Yes, sometimes but I am also aware of the fact that as a human some of my actions might get them angry too. Now, how we solve issues goes a long way in helping keep the bond or totally destroying it.

all4naija:
I don't like the way you present this one, hun!

all4naija:
What is flashlight doing there?

You're a case sha. The ladies that will pour you soup are on their way.

I get you clearly and I must confess to you,I wasn't happy beating her. Most times when she does all those things,I just put it across to her that I do not like it and after talking,I forget about it. What happened that night,was a reaction based on accumulated anger on the many issues I had complained to her about. Let me even let you know this,the fact that her bf has already allowed a strain to come in between our relationship,has already made me have a certain reservation about him(almost a dislike). As it is though,I have hands off her issues and wouldn't be meddling in them again. I don't even bother asking her or finding out where she stays or sleeps when she leaves the house. So long as she healthy and alive and out of trouble,nothing else matters. Like you rightly said,she's an adult,and has the right to live her life the way she wants.

Pidggin:
I understand how you feel as you took care of her through childhood, But at 24 she is no longer a child. You shouldn't flog her with a belt, it's not too good. What you need to do, is to ask her to invite her boyfriend over. Have a chat with him when you can, tell him you don't appreciate him keeping your sister out so late, ask him of his plans for her. If you don't like the guy, tell her your mind. I know it can be painful, but once you have told her your mind, you have done all you can and need to do. The rest is up to her to listen or not. If her relationship with her boyfriend doesn't work out, it's you she wil cry to because you warned her. She will now learn to listen to you. Take it easy and ignore her pettiness.

Smh. You're just busy going on and on about issues you have not concrete understanding of. I'm not even interested in going back and forth with you cos you'd just continue to talk off-topic. In anycase,let me just let you understand something;there's no master-slave relationship involved in this. The fact that you even think throwing her out of the house is better than beating her to correct her and instill discipline in her,speaks volume of your kind of person,and perception of life and family. At this point,I'd just advice you to drop your advice and opinion about this;I'm very sure the person involved will not tell you thank you for asking that she be thrown out of the house. If most Nigerian ladies talk and think like this,then it explains why most marriages are crashing on per second basis. God knows I wouldn't want such a thing for my sister. There is a certain level of discipline that was passed down to those of us that came before her,and it has helped shaped our lives positively. That is what I wish she has... In any case,thanks for the discussion on the issue so far but I'd ask that you don't offer further advice on it again;I honestly appreciate you for taking out time to talk about it. Do have a fab day.

freecocoa:
Are you about to bust a vein because I brought up respect? Chillax bro.

What has your beating her achieved so far? You talk about her not respecting anyone and I see why that is, it's because your family seem not to know the difference between respect and fear, just like is a norm with many Nigerian families, you expect her to respect you when you treat her like someone who doesn't deserve to be respected, Ofcourse she'd keep behaving like the unruly child you all raised, you have to give respect to get respect Mr man of the house.

Where in my post did I say her attitude is okay? I said set your rules and let her know there will be consequences, which doesn't involve infringing on her human rights, how is throwing her out if she fails to abide by rules worse than beating her? Although seeing how you are, I doubt you'd come up with reasonable rules, there will always be a master/servant undertone to it.

Nonetheless, you said she has a boyfriend and always goes there, she can go live with him or even find her feet, since she's feeling too big to abide by house rules, but ofcourse, it's not in Nigerian culture to instill a sense of responsibility, it must always be "I'm responsible for you, so you must do as I say " even when they are not, smh.

I don't expect you to understand my point, it is beyond most Nigerians to see reason anyways.

I had to read you over and over again. So because she's an adult and capable of making her own decisions,she should continually enter the house whenever she deems it fit,and wake those who are sleeping to come and open the gate for her;did you employ a security man for her? Am I the one to play the role of a gateman for her? And where did you hear that I beat her like an animal? I used a belt on her;didn't hit her with my hands. You talk about me not having respect for her;what nonsense is that? If she had any iota of respect for anyone,would she continually flout such orders of not entering the house late? Her misdeamenor was what even prompted my dad to ask her not to live with my half brother again,when she was in school cos she was always having issue with his wife. This is a child that doesn't respect anyone at home and we just manage to tolerate her excesses as the last born. In your mind,sending her out of the house would have been a better option than beating her? Honestly,I don't think you should even give anybody advice cos your advice would only end up creating more problems for families;do you have an idea what it means to throw your blood out of the house? I use both leg and hand take clap for you. On a more serious note,try as much as possible not to advice anyone with family issues cos you're likely to create more problems for them than solutions. I'm talking based on this your post.

freecocoa:
Ofcourse I did, but made my conclusions from you obviously thinking you are in the right for flogging her.

I get that she might be living in your house, is lazy and tends to live her life in a way you don't like, but she's an adult, capable of making her own choices, it's not your place to decide for her, the highest you could do was state the conditions for living with you, you had the right to throw her out, should she refuse to play by the rules, but beating her like she had no rights or like an animal, was below the belt, that's outrightly humiliating and any sane/normal 24 years old in her shoes, would react the way she did, you have no respect for her as a person.

Did you read my write-up at all? Did you read what led me to that action? How come it's just the flogging of a 24 years old,that you picked out from the whole piece?

freecocoa:
What makes you think it's okay to flog a 24 years old?

I planned to make something sexy for dinner but unfortunately,I spent the entire evening gisting with my friend and got home late. I had to settle on the beans I initially planned to make.

My gates and doors are wide open... If I see you now for my house and I nor run pass Usain Bolt,make I know wetin cause am.

cococandy:
Don't tease me man.
You will see me in your house now.

Reflection of the flash light in the pot of stew.

all4naija:
What is the white thing inside your dish?

Come get it...

cococandy:
I want that.

Yaba left candidates plenty for that north o. These yaba left elders should be given their medicine on time before the matter gets out of hand.

Sorry,how am I the problem? School me please.

freecocoa:
Oh my days! A 24 years old child? Dude you are the problem, like wtf?

Wow! Had to read through several pages of gidi-gbo. Dem open thread make una put food wey una cook but una done use gidi-gbo scatter all the food put for ground.

@all4naija: I dey pity u. Dem don give u combined beating before? By the time wey all the people wey u dey yab,join hand beat u finish,pour all those pot of soups,stews and coloured meals on top your head,your face go get colours pass joseph's coat of many colours.

Abeg,make I post my bachelor's hurriedly prepared fish stew wey I make several weeks ago. Was too busy to post pic here. I wanted to eat stewed beans today but the amount of foods I've seen here,has put me in a state of confusion. Now,I don't even know what to cook and eat.

To the ladies here: I noticed my stew never smells like those ones they sell in all these mama put restaurants on the road;why is it so? Why can't I cook and have the same aroma with some of those women cooking by the roadside? Their stews tend to smell in a particular way that I like. I don't eat out though,so I definitely do not know if those stews would taste as good as they smell.

I put fresh curry leaves in this stew of mine and it gave it a very nice aroma.

Well,I think sometimes,these things just happen and there's nothing we can do about it. I love my siblings very much and would do anything to protect them. But lately,things have changed between me and my baby sister and I don't see us getting close again. It happened when I tried to correct and instill some form of discipline into her,last month. For so long,she's had this habit of staying out late at night and coming home quite late(sometimes around almost 12midnight) and was fond of blaming it on traffic. I kept reminding her that my younger brother who leaves the house 5am to work on the island,still manages to get home by 9pm or 10pm and that there's no tenable excuse why she who doesn't work,should be coming home that late. Even with the volatile and tensed situation of the country in the build-up to the last elections,she'd still come home late. This time,she blamed it on her job she recently took up on the island. Later-on,she quit the job but would still come home late. At times,she'd sleep over at her bf's place for some days. She had become so unruly that she wouldn't even tell you she's not coming home that night,until you start calling her phone to ask where she is,and she'd now say she's not coming home. I had gotten tired of scolding her and worrying over her safety and I told her not to ever repeat it again. But like the stubborn and unruly human she has developed into,she did again. What was more annoying this time,was that she got to the gate around 11:30pm or to 12,and was calling me to come open a gate that had already been bolted. I was already sleeping. I refused to answer her. Then she called my mum amd my elder sister and they started using phone to disturb with calls to go open for her. I promised them that anything that makes me open the gate for her,I was going to beat her... Eventually,I opened for her and beat her with belt and since that day,we became enemies. She didn't greet me for about a week after then and whe she eventually greeted,she murmured the greeting. If fact,the next day after I beat her,she went to stay with the bf(I guess) for a week. By the time she came back home,she started cooking separate food from whatever I cook and was just behaving stupidly and erratic. This is a child I carried as a baby,washed napkins for,dropped off at daycare and would go pick up from the daycare. I felt rerribly insulted and embarrassed at her attitude. My dad had complained about how she was misbehaving when she had to stay with my half brother while she was still in school but whenever I asked her what happened,she would say the story in a different way and because I know my dad exergerates when He reports an event,I always felt she was the tone telling the truth. But now that I know how irresponsible she has turned out to be,it hurts badly. All I wanted to do was to help correct and mould her into a responsible person but she felt otherwise. I have since then promised not to ever correct her again on her irresponsible behaviour. I had to swear to my mum and sisters that they should call me a bastard if I ever attempt to correct her again. To sweep the house we live in,is a problem. She won't even lift a hand to wash the bathroom we both use,or clean the kitchen tiles. With the way she has behaved so far,I don't see how I'd allow my kids go spend holidays with her kids in future cos I wouldn't want the discipline and manners I'd instill into my kids,to be corrupted by kids of someone who basically refused to be corrected while growing up. The person I'm talking about here,is a 24 yeas old child. She's just unfortunate to have shown me this part of her that I never knew existed.

In all,we can never tell when siblings would part ways and stop being close. I and my immediate elder sister fought physically all through our growing up years,but today,we are very close.

Pathetic. The rate at which Nigerians from all walks of life commit crime,is a pointer to how criminally minded the average Nigerian is. From the down trodden,to the middle class,to the highest class;it's all just a sorry case. Different forms of crime at different levels.

Nice one. I'd do that over and over again for the woman I love. Hopefully,it can help her regain her memory.