₦airaland Forum

After reading,I got the impression that you prolly made up your mind,
Personally,I'll be the last one to advice anyone to stay with someone out of pity
When they obviously do not want to.
However,I feel compelled to ask a simple question,what are friends for?
Be truthful,if this guy had a good job and all the perks that go with it,
Would you be contemplating this option?
Is our loyalty and love for our friends only limited to when life is rosy with them,but
When things turn awry,we turn tail and run!
Really,with friends like that who needs enemies?! Friendly enemies!!!
You can choose to dump this guy at his hour of need,but God will raise someone for him.
Someone said sometimes we miss our opportunities in life because they don't come packaged the way we expect.
In this day and age of little or no love,you have someone who loves you to this extent
And you want to leave him because of nysc!!!!!
I pray you find someone like you.
All the best.

Well,if you think the story is more complicated than him returning home,how much more
complicating is the story getting with him staying there and ending up with a
dysfunctional child or two?! God forbid!
Besides,you already said his wife told him to relocate and he says for the sake of the children
Of which one is already having a problem.
Sorry if I'll sound harsh but are you more preoccupied with their returning to 'rural ghana'
As you put it or with their mental,emotional,psychological and ultimately even their physical wellbeing?
What degree has uk got that a standard ghanaian university can't give?
Or is it not ghana again that pple from other countries are flocking to their universities?! Besides,education is highly subsidized for ghanaians.
If they have a means of subsisting over there which you've not pointed out,
You can as well do so,so pple don't have a onesided view of the matter.
But every man is entitled to his own opinion,and if the story is all you've said and nothing else,then
Relocation is it!
Besides,if the husband is of retirement age,don't you think the fast paced life
And all these worries can accelerate some unpleasant occurrence? What then happens to these same
Young children out there all alone?
I don't know but I can tell you the only way to help your friend is to
Encourage her to get reunited with her family,yes,in 'rural ghana' if push comes to shove!
Children should be taught to obey parents,not the other way round.
This is my opinion as I said, you are free to wait for other opinions.
Bless you.

Sorry to hear this rather sad experience.
Its not easy been separated from loved ones by a mere 1km
Talkless of '000s of KMs! My heart goes out to your friend.
However,the simple thing to be sone is for the man to relocate.
Pride was (and is)still never a good reason to stick to something
Even when its obviously not working out.
Forget about what pple will say,the gossip can last for 3mths only or less,
It will die down.
I'm saying this based on the statement that the hubby is not even doing well over there,
Which I'm sure was the whole essence of relocating in the first instance.
He should do a short course that is not age constrained after his wife has found out
Those things that employers usually prefer foreign certification in before coming back.
Then submit his CV in one or two places and become hotcake in his country.
Such certifications include safety,welding,radiography on pipes etc,foreign certs are
usually hotcakes in these areas.
His wife can find out other locally applicable hotcake areas.
They'll make it in no time.
Best of luck.

Its not a bad idea to want to live your lecturer dream
Its not equally a bad idea to take up the Lagos job
You rightly pointed out the challenge in the Lecturer position
Its a legitimate concern
Stay with the Lagos job,there's room for growth
You have work experience as well as the opportunity of schooling also
There's a system of study leave where you get to negotiate for pay as well
Even there's poasibility of applying for a lecturer position
Afterwards in Lagos
Who says you can't go to school while working?
Its the same even if you are in lecturing? You'll be working as well
Usually,that combination could be dicey if you unfortunately get an inconsiderate supervisor
They could keep you on a Masters or PhD for as long as possible to prevent as many as possible climbing to their level
I'm not saying it will happen to you,I'm only pointing out the pros and cons.
All the best

Words & Actions go a long way to help you understand
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
Even if someone lies,don't worry,a lie has a short life span
By words,she constantly reminds you she's in love with you
When you are not around,she reminds you she's missing you
When you are down,you always have a word of comfort from her
Don't take these lightly,if a lady does not love you,she can't fake these for long
There are others
By action,she's always very considerate with you
She shows tangible proofs she's ready to sacrifice for the relationship
Such as staying loyal even in a situation of meagre resources
Not minding a bit of discomfort to help you actualize your dreams
The list is endless
You have to be attentive yourself because humans are dynamic
and she may show love in many more ways than these
Best of Luck

Op what you do in a situation like this is based on the extent of your feelings
for your lady ie in terms of love.
There's no problem without a solution.
Not all Nigerian girls bedwet,its a wrong and libellous assertion,insulting too.
Bedwetting in adults is a worldwide problem not peculiar to Nigeria alone.
You can decide to help out by sett ing an alarm clock to wake her up every 2hrs
This is because the bladder takes like 1 and half to 2hrs to get filled up
Also since this will definitely disturb sleep,yours I mean,you can decide to invite her over for weekends only
Like fridays and let her leave by sunday morning so you can catch some sleep
Against Monday if you work,I'm assuming.
By doing this you will definitely assist her.
You'll be doing a kindness she'll love you for unconditionally
Remember,Love is patient.

Op you misunderstood me,this is a summary of another method,
(I'm not advising you to work on your inlaw because you said he's hooked,)
1)Make arrangements down with the police and alert them when you are leaving
for the place so they follow,don't alert them in front of your iaw,
2)Go with your inlaw to the place
3)Make arrangement for them to barge into the place like 5mins after you guys are in there,phone
them when you are about to enter the street or closeby or wait at a safe distance till they
come,then start going to the place,don't let your inlaw understand he may turn round to alert them,
4)This will ensure that there are witnesses to the scam act,
5)Thereafter they will be prosecuted,don't take the law into your hands,
6)Your inlaw will naturally come round after this, as in, his eyes will be opened.

Dealing with scammers is not easy esp cases like this
I don't know your financial strenght but you may have to plant a
Device on your brother to capture their conversation because I
Would have suggested the commando style but the scammer can turn around to
Press charges and claim damages claiming he is innocent & U already
Said you don't have time for case.
Alternatively go to all these phone guys and get a phone that can record
Conversations and make a gift of it to your brotherinlaw then
Convince him to try and negotiate something lower with them.
Give him the lower one, if he says he can't, make him understand you are trying to
Help but he's making it difficult for you,convince him till he does
Now you can part with a lower sum not 200k(Jesus Christ!),
Now armed with the phone evidence of negotiations alone even without parting
With anything you can go in commando with your inlaw in toe,so even if they press charges u have evidence
But don't reveal your plans to him until you are in the army van with him when you need the
Address of the place or ask him before the day with style
So he'll see they are nothing but crooks
He should call them in your presence so you have your evidence,postpone giving him the money
Go for the phone first,its not too expensive.
Goodluck

My dear op,a word as is often said is enough for the wise.
Your relationship is shrouded in too much mystery for comfort.
Wherever it is he's putting up,he SHOULD HAVE shown you his place! You don't even know his friends!!!
But you sef,you strong o,what if this man is a miscreant or you think he will turn out
to be heir to some rich unknown kingdom?! Please wake up.
Turning down prospective serious suitors for your mystery man is not a good
idea at all.
Take note,before you can say 'Jack Robinson'you'll be 30 & regretting!
A bird in hand(your prospective suitor(s)) is infinitely,of more worth,and of greater value than your mystery man.
Time and tide wait for no man
Stop this emotional blunder,be real.

Op,I just saw your post,its belated,but I hope you get to read this.
My dear,are you a virgin? Is that what you mean by not being in a relationship before?
If it is,please and please in the name of God and all that's good and true,
STAY THAT WAY!!!!!
Trust me on this one,you won't regret it.
A man that proves that he has enough self control is a '000 times better than a he-goat in human skin.
Any man that claims he loves you and is anxious to go to bed with you,
In 99 out of a 100 he will later abandon you!!! I may be exaggerating but true to an extent.
All the best. Remain focused
I may sound old fashioned but this is as true as night follows day.
2kobo

Its all good at the end really!
Sometimes God opens doors to give us opportunities,
Sometimes he CLOSES doors to protect us!
We may not understand when he closes doors when and where we wish he opens!!
Rise above the hurt & be friends,yes,because that particular
Door at that point in time needs to be closed.
At the point you realize this crucial fact,you rise above the hurt & its easier to move on.
So,when next a babe says "can we still be friends?"
Please say "with all pleasure ma'am!"

Mtchew
MtcheWw

You are a f**lnthats all you know how to do anyway,talk bull s**t!
Go and get a life
I never trail better people,continue deluding yourself

Tellwisdom,words will fail me to quantify the level of your crass s.tupidity and unabashed shamelessness at displaying it!!!!
Tell me,is this thread about other peoples post or helping out the op who needs some frank talk?
The last I checked in all your so-called "wisom" you had no advice for the poster after all,lack of cerebral acumen eh?
Your entire post was my post reposted and you still have mouth to talk?!!!!
I have one name only for you,you are a m.fcking-g.rass-smoking a.**hole nigga!!!
Jealousy will kill you,why not write your own so you can get some accolades too.
Sorry for your gf,you are not a man.
Those for whom I wrote that post have got the message,not for you!
Stick your empty illiterate head up a rhino's ass. Piss on you!!!!!!!

What part of that i.diotic speech insinuates that blacks are more freaked out over sex than whites?
If anything is there I see fear that blacks would grow in population and outrun them,look at the part he was encouraging the white women to sit up and start actively producing children,obviously an attempt at the same population increase he was accusing the blacks of.
Is it not through the same sex,carried out on a continual basis he was planning to achieve his aim?!!! HYPOCRITE
Imagine the c.oward could not even hide his fears at the Blacks getting stronger.
Wherever he is now,shame is his portion because his worst fears have materialized namely that a socalled ka**ffir should sit on the throne and Mandela should rot in jail,both have happened and the socalled ka**ffirs are still ruling!! SHAME!
As to his crazy,unfounded assertion that "every" black man wants to sleep with a white woman I'm sure he was high on something,crak maybe,some black men will not touch a white woman with a '000m pole!!!!! Likewise some black women will not touch a white man with the same or more lenght of pole!!!!
Granted,there are interracial marriages and I personall have nothing against those but when a m.adman makes a sweeping assertion,hey some correction is in order.
To show that God was against them,everything he attributed to God's display of disapproval against blacks came crashing on his head when he was unceremoniously booted out. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!
He & his m.urderous band cannot possibly claim to have any resemblance to or support from God who is the epitome of love.
If the whites are not easily induced by money,how will they explain what took place during the London riots? Was it only blacks arrested for looting? White brothers are like pe in chains under surveillance and this has made them clever rogues,their motto is "make sure you are not caught"!!!During the recent world bank presidency,a black woman was obviously more qualified than all the white candidates,was she chosen? No.
Right now,the Eurozone is running around looking for bailout for their currency,how come their high-tech knowledge couldn't save them?! A classic case of you "saved" others now you cannot save yourself!!Africa is where the party's @ now! But will they let their sillt propaganda down? No.
The prevalence of hiv/aids in Africa is overhyped as usual. Yes,we have our own statistics but they have theirs as well.
Let's just say here we have issues of disbelieve,ignorance etc but they who are so educated,how are they coping? Transmitting it by all the possible routes including bestiality!!! SHAME!
The west are not implementing any of Botha's archaic theory,remember we are literally the "raw material" according to botha's speech! The first 10 female billionaires in the world are black,they need the "raw material",its not easy!!!
Africa has to stop looking to the messy past and start sorting issues of corruption,nepotism,and poverty and things will be alright. Our youths wallow in sheer political ignorance and are largely unprepared to take the bull by the horn and start a revolution to bring about needed change. How many watch National news to hear for themselves what's going on in the nation rather than reliance on hearsay? How many care to know the kind of bills being passed at the legislative level? How many demand for their rights with the knowledge of their inalienable rights as citizens at their fingertips not merely as slogan chanting rabble rousers? How many for that matter know the constitution of the land? Is botha the reason they don't know(or care to know)these things?
Please let us think of other more pressing issues than the ravings of a rabid dog overdue for psychiatric treatment!

First off,I would like to correct the erroneous impression that "all" Nigerian girls are materialistic. Its so untrue.
The fact that you've unfortunately been running into the wrong ones does not in any way justify that statement.
You,yourself,have work to do on yourself in terms of your method of selection for these your gfs sef.
If you decide to go for flashy-figure-8-tempting-to-touch-by-every-man types,please when they start asking you to pay for maintenance of all those packages don't complain,pls rmbr law of diminishing return!
Bros,go for a homely girl,and come and open another thread later about how thrifty naija girls can be.
2cents

I'd say go for maturity when ever men want to date.
Now you see that its not all about the b.utt and b.reasts or beauty but ultimately the brain.
There was a similar case about a guy whose fiancee took him on in the streets alleging she'd contacted AIDS through this guy,guess what,it was common candida!!
The girl in question was a socalled graduate,so even there,there are graduates and there are graduates!
I bet if you had the same conversation with a real graduate the outcome would be different.
Anyway,experience remains the best teacher.
Bros abeg find your level ASAP.

My sincere sympathies at the untimely and sad loss of your parent.
Don't cry,death is an inevitable end that will come when it will regardless of our best intentions & well coordinated efforts to the contrary.
Take solace in the scriptures,read Rev.21:3,4.
Even our best efforts are not good enough for death the bad reaper.
Even if you had seen your parent,would that have made you happier that he is gone? No is the answer you would still be sad.
So be happy and strive to achieve the ideals he tried to lay doen for you when he was alive.
That way you carry on the legacy.
God be with you at this trying period.

@OP,for me,it would be honesty,transparency,empathy & above all hardworking & God fearing.
I don't need any one sitting around,cricizing all the time.
The moment a man decides to lie & I discover its goodbye forever and a day.
Thanks for the nice thread.

At Ptolomeus,it would have been nice if you came up with your own arguments,your entire post is my post reposted.
The young man is supposed to have been helped by that I hope.
I'm on the side of telling people the truth and leaving them to make their own informed decision based on the fact at hand.
The OP made a statement about not being able to defend what he believes in as vigorously as the so called atheists and whether we like it or no,the Jehovah's witnesses know the Bible in and out,the atheist equally relies on research & publications they read made by other atheist to advance their points,jehovah's witnesses are good at publications too,so read and defend your faith vigorously as well,voila.
FYI,the issue of the use of blood in the medical field is still a very widely uncharted path because of the existence of viruses and other yet to be identified blood borne ailments and pathogens.
Tell me,what issues do you have with someone who says because of God's express command at Acts 5:28,29 and based on the inherent dangers in blood which BTW is a good incubation medium for pathogenic microorganisms,the individual says I want the highest level of healthcare for my family,what issues do you have with that?
The last time I checked,thousands of bloodless surgeries have been successfully undertaken by the Jehovah's Witnesses including open heart bypass surgery one of the hardest.
Please,medicine has advanced to the point where blood fractions such as white blood cells!blood volume expanders,platelets,etc can be used so who says the Jehovah Witnesses don't have options apart from using whole blood.
While we are at it,there was a story of a nice old man who needed knee reconstructive surgery.After the surgery performed with blood,the old man on returning home suddenly developed kleptomanic tendencies from nowhere that were not there before,tell me if you were the one would you not suspect that prolly he has been infused with the blood of a thief. Most times thieves say they don't know why they stole something when they are being beaten.
My 2cents.

At royal roy,the reposting was done in error when it wasn't uploaded immediately.
As to your so called mega true,the last time I checked I can't remember all the anger and anger-based murder crimes being committed by short people only,in fact
Your post shows that you are someone given to having issues with people,if someone decides to post many times,how does that in any way unsettle you,go ahead and post yours.
Whether I'm short or tall is no business of yours at all,the last time I checked I still have a right to my own opinion and that includes making sure that people like you and the op don't get away with hasty generalizations.
While we are "ranting" about how "mega-true" nonsense is,the world goes on.

After reading your post,I understand your dilemma.Now,follow me,you must use your personal copy of the Bible as you do
1)Is God uncaring? The answer is no. Read James 1:13;God allowing bad things to happen does not mean he is the cause. There's a big difference between allowing something and causing it.
2)Is God happy about the terrible things happening? No again. God is a lover of Justice. Read Psalms 37:28
God felt hurt at his heart at the badness that filled the world in ancient times Read Genesis 6:5,6
God has not changed.Read Malachi 3:6 God cares for you Read 1Peter 5:7
If you had the power to change the wicked things in the world you would,right? Yes because we've been wired that way and we were wired in God's image,that is to say to resemble his qualities. Read Gen.1:26;1John 4:8,
3)You must have heard about how Satan challenged God and made the human race fall from perfection to the present disgraceful state. Read Genesis 2:7;3:6.
Romans 5:12;3:23. God's perfect sense of justice would not allow him to put the rebels to death straight away because time was neede to prove who the real deceiver was back then,now over aeons of years down the line,you and I know for a certainty who the real deceiver was back then,or don't you?
Were Adam & Eve right to believe Satan who had never done anything good for them?
Was it right for them to believe that Jehovah who had given them everything they had,is a cruel liar?
After the fall,God allowed them to find out for themselves who was telling the truth and who was lieing.The drama began,
You and I are part of the unfolding drama,whose side are you on? God's or Satan's,the ball is in your court.
4)Who really rules the world? Read John 12:31;14:30;16:11. Who really rules the world? Wake up,answer me on your thread,let's see if you understand that You and I can either serve God or the devil,its a choice really,do not expect God to hold you by the collar and demand worship,even if all tha atheists in the world decide not to worship God as they've decided,God can raise up stones to sing his praise.Alleluia.
5)How will Satan's world be removed? Read Rev.16:14-16;Isaiah 9:6,7,Matthew 6:10;Daniel 2:44. The Bible reveals that the time is near when God will eliminate the wicked world during his war of Armageddon,Rev16:14-16 refer,this will make way for a righteous new world with Jesus Christ as ruler of that heavenly kingdom that is why you and I should keep praying "Let your kingdom come" then Gods kingdom will usher in an earthly paradise.
6)The Bible assures us there are new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness is to dwell Read 2Peter 3:13;Isaiah 65:17; in the coming new world,those approved by God would receive the gift of everlasting life Mark 10:30,at that time we will witness these blessings namely;
7)Rev 21:4 He will wipe out every tear from their eyes(whether by Boko haram or whatever)
Isaiah 35:6 The lame one will climb up just as the stag does;
Isaiah 35:5 the eyes of the blind ones will be opened
John 5:28,29 All those dead in the memorial tombs will come out.Alleluia Satan will ultimately be defeated
Look for Jehovah's witnesses in your area and ask them any question they'll defend it from passages in your own Bible,I'm not one but if you want to meet christians who can defend their faith go to them with all your questions includinhg the ones on evolution.
Do you believe that what God says he will do?
Yes,I believe.

Abiolachiefo,after reading,I understood the fact that you guys had been chatting on the phone for like upwards of a week. Therefore,some sort of familiarity existed as at the time you played host,to the extent you freely left your house in her care.
You got all the wrong advice when you,the same you,want to about-face again and ask a question like you don't know what you want.
In the week long chat what did you talk about? Did you invite her over for more time together or did you have sex on your mind?
If yes,for more time together then I see no reason for your question because evidently the lady thinks you are interested based on your discussions which must have been reasonably extensive,1week is no joke+days.
Judging from the amount of educated-but-non-domesticated-cannot-even-boil-water ladies around,I suggest you watch this girl and if she shows signs of being genuinely good,I'd say go for her.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Mekaboy after reading your post,I want to say that such things happen,that is receiving a "vision" about what's going to happen afterwards in dreams. I know this may sound foolish to those who do not have the gift or don't believe God exists,if we are really close to God he deals with us as friends.
Remember the Bible aptly says your young men(womwen,yes) shall dream dreams?
Now that dream doesn't mean the poor lady is evil,it is only telling you the circumstances under which you will be meeting this lady,i.e. under an atmosphere of seduction,this is a classic example of the saying"to be forewarned is to be forearmed"in the sense that the choice is yours now,having been forewarned to either keep the r/ship plain & platonic or mess it up.

I replied this thread created by cold faya but didn't see those replies,these were my exact words
You who created this thread,I have just one question for you namely ARE YOU GOD?
You think you are somehow wiser than God(because you are tall!)Who in his wisdom saw fit to create varieties.
Tell me,how monotonous & boring would this world be if everything in it were tall? I bet you would be one of those complaining to God asking to be short or at least have shorter varieties like the ancient Israelites when they were faced with manna.
BTW where was the research done that came up with the results in your crazy assertions? Or are they merely hearsay,old wives tales? That says a lot abt the sort of person you are,one who hears a thing & repeats it without a scratch verification.
Besides,your thread shows me you've got real personality issues,namely you hate yourself. Check all real people,they love irrespective of height,race,etc. You can't give what you don't have remember?
You look like you are the sort that cries foul at racism because its meted out irrespective of height on the basis of skin color,tell me what are you doing now is it not the same discrimination?
Go get a life.

You who started this thread I have just one question for you namely ARE YOU GOD? You think you are somehow wiser than God(because you are tall)who created varieties. Tell me,how would this world be if everything in it was tall? Its the same people like you that would complain they need short people or they wish they were shorter,at least for variety sake,like the Israelites when they saw manna.
BTW,where is the research upon which your assertions were based or are they merely hearsay? That tells a lot about the kind of person you are. One who hears a thing & repeats it without a scratch verification.
Besides,check out all real people,they love without reservation irrespective of height,race,etc.this only shows that you have personality issues namely you hate yourself & find it easier therefore to hate others,mind you,you can't give what you don't have.
People like you are usually the first to cry out against racism esp when you remember its meted out irrespective of height based on the colour of one's skin,tell me what are you doing now? Is it not the same discrimination?
Go and get a life.

You who started this thread I have just one question for you namely ARE YOU GOD? You think you are somehow wiser than God(because you are tall)who created varieties. Tell me,how would this world be if everything in it was tall? Its the same people like you that would complain they need short people or they wish they were shorter,at least for variety sake,like the Israelites when they saw manna.
BTW,where is the research upon which your assertions were based or are they merely hearsay? That tells a lot about the kind of person you are. One who hears a thing & repeats it without a scratch verification.
Besides,check out all real people,they love without reservation irrespective of height,race,etc.this only shows that you have personality issues namely you hate yourself & find it easier therefore to hate others,mind you,you can't give what you don't have.
People like you are usually the first to cry out against racism esp when you remember its meted out irrespective of height based on the colour of one's skin,tell me what are you doing now? Is it not the same discrimination?
Go and get a life.

You who started this thread,I have just one question for you namely ARE YOU GOD? You think you are somehow wiser than God (because you are tall)who saw fit that different heights should exist on the earth? Tell me,how monotonous & boring would this earth be if everything in it was "tall"?!! I guess you are wiser than God,yes,wiser in yoir ignorance.
As for your crazy assertions that they are mean,blah,blah,tell me what statistics/research results you relied on apart from the hearsay that you are quoting and silly old wives tales.
Before you open your mouth to spew anything ensure its backed by tangible facts.
FYI,variety is the spice of life.
Your statements only goes to show you have a personality problem because you can only love others when you have sufficiently learned to love yourself,you cannot give what you don't have.
Check out all real people who have any kind of self esteem,they love everyone regardless of height,race,etc
BTW you are the sort of person who would cry out loudest against acts of racism,what are you doing now? The same discrimination
Go and get a life.

Good evening. I read ur post,my humble suggestion is to relocate nearer d south or east instead of staying in Abuja due to high cost of living. Then u can start a cab business which requires little or no capital input apart from d purchase of d vehicle which u should look out 4 a vehicle dat d parts r available and not expensive.Later u can think of other things. All d best.