cogicero:
Simacsmsplus has refused to answer my whatsapp and refused to pick my calls. I've been scammed before on Nairaland but I thought this was a reliable person cos others are saying they have worked with him. Return my money. Don't be shameless!

I had to embarrass him here before he finally sent me my money. Na me fvck up doing business with a faceless nairalander. Nonsense.

Simacsmsplus has refused to answer my whatsapp and refused to pick my calls. I've been scammed before on Nairaland but I thought this was a reliable person cos others are saying they have worked with him. Return my money. Don't be shameless!

It's like this @SIMACsmsplus is a scammer shey? Why will you collect money for dollars when you know you don't have dollars to sell? Don't let even me start with you!

KoloOyinbo:
After a break of a few years due to personal circumstances I am resuming my regular trips to Lagos. Hopefully I will be spending a lot of time 'in country'. Is there a Chess Club around VI or IKOYI? And if so can I have contact details and times please.

I am also interested. Preferably around Ikoyi. Please help. Thanks

simple3xms:
Hello Good Evening Sir/Ma.

We are Good in Furniture work here in Lagos Mainland or Island Just call for any Type of Chairs, Table, wardrobe, Bed, Kitchen cabinet etc...
Call Mr Adetiloye on 08077708173.

I've been seeing your advert but no pictures and no prices.

Post some pictures of ready made furniture that you have and if I like your work, I'll come and inspect and pay and pick it up.

I need good ready made furniture in Lagos, made by a quality carpenter.

The types of furniture I want are:
- L shaped sectional sofa
- 2 seater ottoman / pouf
- 6 seater dining table with chairs

Preferably, if you have a showroom of such furniture, I can select one that I like.

Thanks

davidylan:

They lied to you. Arizona, for example, is quite an expensive place to live. Ohio is not cheap either. Areas like North Dakota and Utah are deserts lol.

Lol

bootlegaz:
Google is your best bet. I see articles on such here and there on yahoo news and on forbes magazine. Seeking diversity does not mean you won't pay your fees. A whole lot if naijas skip school after arrival, which put dents on naijas in Nigeria. I think for one to embark on such journey to states, one has to be financially capable of sustaining themselves for a year .

Thanks

davidylan:

No one can tell you such things, they are mostly untrue anyway. I find what works best is to look for your schools and get in touch with your program director personally.

Ah I see. Someone mentioned schools in Utah, Ohio, Arizona and North Dakota as such places but I thought I could get more info on such locations. So I guess it's a rumor then. I'll try your advice, thanks.

@davidylan I forgot to add that I seek a PhD (get a masters on the way) and my final goal is in academia.

babyosisi:

Contact davidylan or ask him some direct questions here, if possible the sites he went to and other resources he may know about.

Thanks Babyosisi.

Hi Davidylan, I see you are in the bio/med line, and I am in Engineering so I am not asking to be spoon-fed any technical details . Do you have any hints on states / towns that I can consider for fall-backs just in case I don't get into the schools I actually want to? I was told there are some areas in the US that seek diversity so they are usually more eager to admit international students plus more likely to give them funding. If you tell me such states / towns I will search for programs there. Thanks

Babyosisi more grace to your elbow!

I wish this thread existed some years ago. I wrote my GRE and TOEFL couple years back, and I had great scores, almost perfect scores in fact. But I made the mistake of applying to only 2 schools the first year and only 3 schools the second year (I want to apply to like 15 schools this year if possible). And I also applied to only top tier schools! Now I know that it is better to have some fallbacks just in case your dream school does not click. Yet I have gotten admission twice, but no funding. So I want to try to up the ante, I am taking a GRE subject test in Mathematics to further improve my chances (the exam is in about 30 hours time), and I will apply again this December.

I will return after my exam to ask Mrs Babyosisi some questions to better improve my chances this year, because it seems people are getting admission with funding and I am not, even though my scores are better than that of almost all the people I have seen.

God bless you.

Sleek Reek: The 2006 RAV 4 is quite durable,go for the 4 cylinder Front Wheel drive for good fuel economy. As long as you service it well,you should have no issues with the engine,it is the same engine as the 2002-2006 Toyota Camry,so is readily available. To get a clean one budget between 2.6 to 2.8 million depending on mileage,i would advice you go for Preorder,which will cost you 2.8 million but you are guaranteed to buy a car without issues.

Nice one! If only everybody answers questions with sense like you, Nairaland Autos section will be great again, like it used to be great in the years 2008-2010. Now there are too many jokers and immature people everywhere.

Hi. What's your asking price?

Leave matter for Matthias

Sorry I'm late. Is this position still open?

wordtalk have you rather tried resetting your password? https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=reminder

pastor aio's tutorial on embedding youtube's video

[list]
[li]for example the video link for eminem's mockingbird is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUZ7Q7x61w[/li]
[li]change that to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUZ7Q7x61w i.e. delete watch? and replace = with /[/li]
[li]type [fl@sh=400,400][/fl@sh] to make a 400 by 400 flash video : notice that i used fl@sh instead of flash[/b]to prevent a false positive or false start [/li]
[li]insert the prepared link into the flash tags like this [b][fl@sh=400,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUZ7Q7x61w[/fl@sh][/li]
[/list]

you will end up with this. it's cool, alright? 

[flash=400,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUZ7Q7x61w[/flash]

This sounds like the RCCG - Redeemed Christian Church of God, because I know a pastor there who said exactly all these things you are saying.

Very empty house.

How to Disperse a Crowd of Angry Nigerian Youth

The time for Nigeria's Youth Revolution has come. Our Youths have taken to the streets. They have surrounded the Gates of Aso Rock and have vowed not to leave until their demands are met.

0700 hrs
I woke up in the morning and my phone rang. President Jonathan was on the line.
He was furiously panting and breathing loudly. I got him to calm down and explain the reason for his discomfort. He let me know that hundreds of Nigerian Youths had gathered at the Gate of Aso Rock demanding his removal.

The Conversation ensued:

GEJ: Comrade, Comrade, What should I do? They want to remove me
Me: Calm down, Oga Jona , How old are the Protesters?
GEJ: Comrade: They all look young, like University/ Poly Graduates
Me: Good, Very Good, That means they are young people
GEJ: What do you mean "Very Good"? The situation is "Very Bad". You know what such young people have done to governments all over the World and you are saying  "Very good".
Me: Oga jona, Don't mind them, Nigerian Youth are not like all those suicidal youth that can confront armored tanks with bare fists. I know these people. Have you forgotten I am one of them?
GEJ: I am really confused, What should I do? Should I go and call out Mummy Patience to talk to them:
Me: Oga Jona,Nooooooooooo Bad idea, not time to call Mummy now. Just calm down, take a deep breath and follow my instructions.
GEJ: Okay, I  am calming down, but I am very afraid, All my other comrades have disappeared, Ima Niboro is no where to be found, Oronto  was last seen jumping the back fence, Orubebe told me he wanted to go and mobilise forces, but I strongly suspect he 's back in the village
Me: Oga Jona, E fara buruku bale *
GEJ: What does that mean?
Me: Don't worry , It is a greeting in my native dialect.Now to the action plan. As long as they are young people, I can assure you that by the time we are through with our plans, they will all be gone
GEJ: I am all ears
Me: Immediately fly DJ Jimmy Jatt from wherever he is in Lagos to come and set up and play background music. I know all those youths, The moment they hear correct jams, their anger will subside.
GEJ: Ok, I will arrange for that. Let me call you back after that is done

1000 hrs
My phone rings
GEJ: Comrade, Comrade, It is working, They've calmed down. Some are even dancing palongo
Me: You see, I told you
GEJ: But do you think if we continue playing music they will eventually leave
Me: Abi Oponu ni man yi sha? *
GEj: What did you say?
Me: It's the way my village people say Good Morning
GEJ: ok o
Me: The Music we are playing is to calm them down. We now move to Step 2. This is where we will start dispersing them gradually
GEJ: Ok , I am all ears
(DJ Plays "Scape Goat" by DBanj  in the Background)

Me: Tell them that Daddy G.O has announced an emergency meeting at the camp on Km, 46 Lagos- Ibadan Expressway. Tell them Daddy G.O says every young person between Age 15 and 35 must come to Camp in the next 6 hours if they want to make heaven. Also make sure you provide free transport for them
GEJ: But how do you expect them to just believe a statement like that? These people that gathered here for days are not that dumb to hear that and now disappear
Me: What do you know about them? Their education and intelligence is put aside the moment you introduce matters of religion. Oga Jona, Just make sure you mention that the message is from DADDY G.O
GEJ: Okay, Let me get back to you
(DJ Plays "Implication" by Tuface)

1100 hrs
My phone rings
GEJ: Comrade, My good Comrade, Half of them have disappeared. If you saw how they were scrambling to travel down to Lagos, you will have thought the world was about to end.
That Daddy G.O man must be powerful o. I will like to meet him
Me: What do you mean by You will like to meet him? But newspaper picture showed you kneeling down before him for prayers the other day. You have met him already
GEJ: Aa ah ah, I think I remember now. if you know the number of places I have gone to kneel  down for prayers, you will understand why I keep getting their names confused. Now, My Good comrade , what is the next step, Should i do Gender balancing by  saying Mummy G.O says they should come and meet her?
Me: E rori e , opolo e o ju ti apeja lo *, Mummy G.O ko, Mummy G.O ni
GEJ: Comrade, you have come again with your mother tongue, Is that yoruba for Good Afternoon ?
Me: Exactly, We have to move to the next step, forget religion,We have played that card already. All those young people that don't know God always know Shayo. We are now going to tap into the "Shayo" factor
GEJ: Comrade, what is the meaning of Shayo?
Me: Oga Jona, I am sure you have heard of Burukutu, Akpeteshi
GEJ: My Comrade, You are trivialising  matters of life and death. People are calling for my head, You are busy talking about  Burukutu
Me: Cool Down Oga Jona. We are now going to tap into the Shayo factor. Declare an immediate cancellation of import duties and introduction of subsidy of Moet, Hennessy, Jack Daniel and Goose. Tell them that your government has decided that all those drinks will now sell for no more than N1000
GEJ: Are you serious that will work? What are all those strange drinks that you are mentioning?
ME: Oga Jona, Go and try out the formula. If it doesn't work,call me baztard. Have you forgotten I know all these people?

1200 hrs
My phone rings
GEJ: Po Po po po Po po something po Po PO Po something
Me: Oga Jona, Are you okay?
GEJ: Po Po something
Me:  Oga Jona, who taught you that song?
GEJ: My Very Good Comrade, You should have seen the effect. The moment I announced a National Drinks Subsidy, they all screamed The D.J just played a song. You should have seen how they all burst out in dancing and singing. They taught me the song" Po Po PO ". You should have seen them "po-ing something" as they danced home.
ME:  Oga Jona, i told you now, All those young people, so-called activists, those that don't follow bible will follow henessy.
GEJ:   Comrade, I assure you when this trouble is over , we will have a private session to "po something"
Me: No problem Sir, I remain your humble adviser. However , are they all gone?
GEJ:  That's true, some stubborn ones remain o. These ones look very educated, intellectual and scientific. They seem not to be moved by God or Henessy. I really don't know what to do. Don't you think I should call Mummy Patience to come and take over
Me: Ah Ah, This is not a matter for Mummy o. At all, At all. Let her stay where she is. I know those stubborn ones. I know them very well
GEJ: Are you serious? You have a solution to them too
Me:  I know them very well. We have to give an academic solution to an academic problem. Oga Jona, Step 4 consists of 2 sub-steps. Listen closely,
Step 4a, Announce that you have endowed a Goodluck Jonathan award for Good Governance as part of the next Future Awards. Tell them you will move the awards from Lagos to Abuja with an all -expense paid World tour for both organisers and winners. I assure you, some of them will take off. In the case that doesn't work, we move to Step 4b. You have to meet these people at the point of their needs. Declare that you are awarding Masters scholarships to Harvard, Oxford, Insead or any other ivy league school. The scholarships are to be used for studying useless courses like Developmental Economics, Environmental Sustainability and Third World Econometrics, Social Research, Political Development. I can assure you that those that don't follow God and will not follow Hennessy will definitely follow book
GEJ: My good Comrade, let me get back to you

1600 hrs
My phone rings
GEJ: My Good comrade. Sorry for keeping you waiting. Your last suggestion worked. But it took time. You can imagine that those educated ones, even though they were still going to leave still took about 3 hours of deliberations and arguments among themselves before they departed. I don't understand,Why do you have to discuss for 3 hours what you are going to do before eventually doing it.
Me: Oga Jona, I told you now, the educated ones are tougher, They will analyse until they paralyse. Anyway, have they all gone?
GEJ: Yes , the intellectuals were the last set. But wait ooo, What is this noise  I am hearing?
Noise is heard in the background, DJ Jimmy Jatt packs up his equipment and takes off.

1700 hrs
GEJ: Comrade, Comrade, They have come again o, about 100 people just showed up from no where. These ones are totally different. Music does not seem to work on them, I doubt if our other schemes will work. Comrade, we are in trouble. My days infact my minutes are numbered,
Me: Oga Jona, Calm down, Calm down, let me think
GEJ: Comrade, there is no time to think o. They will soon start climbing the walls
Me: Give me some time, Let me call you back
GEJ: Ha , Comrade, don't leave me o , don't leave me o

1800 hrs
My phone rings
GEJ: Comrade, Why are you nto picking up my phone. How can the Chief Commander in Charge of Nigerian forces be calling you and you will not pick?
Me:  Commander ko, Ebenezer Obey ni.
GEJ: Same to you, Same to you hundred times. You think I don't know you have been abusing me in your mother tongue. You have forgotten that I did my NYSC in Osun State? You think
Me: Oga Jona, I will drop this line o
GEJ: Comrade, Comrade, let us put our emotions aside. We are all tired. It has been a long day. Let us not turn on ourselves. I beg you in the name of all that are IZON, What is the solution to these latest set of brigands? Talk now or I am in trouble
Me: You know the solution already. It is with you
GEJ: Stop Speaking in Parables, comrade
Me: We need to call on Mummy Patience. Go and address the Youth and tell that Mummy Patience is coming out to address and wait for the reaction.
GEJ: Aa h, Comrade, if it backfires we are all in trouble, you , me and the rest of we.
Me: Just go and tell them Mummy Patience will come and speak to them

1900 hrs
Phone Rings
GEJ: po Po Po Po Po Po something, Comrade You can't believe it. Unbelievable, Unfathomable, Unimaginable . They have all gone, disappeared into thin air,
vamoozed faster than the harmmattan wind that blows in my home town Otuoke.
Me: Oga J tell me something. How did it happen?
GEJ: The moment i told them that Mummy Patience was coming to speak to them. They all took off in various directions, shouting that they are afraid for their lives. They were shouting that they don't want to die young. It must be a sign of respect for Mummy patience. They must really respect her or how else do you explain the fact that people who are not scared of AK-47 are suddenly scared of Mummy Patience. It is simply too much Respect for her
Me: Aah, Oga J, You will not understand. If they had allowed Mummy to talk it would have been more than AK-47. They have too much respect. in fact the word is not Respect , it is Reskept. Help me tell Mummy that Nigerians Reskept her too much. Reskept is too much. if all fails, try Mummy P

THE END
Glossary
E fara buruku bale - Calm your useless self down
Abi Oponu ni man yi sha?  - Is this man a fool
E rori e , opolo e o ju ti apeja lo - Look at his head, his brain is just like that of a fisherman

Culled from http://www.facebook.com/notes/leigh-oluwole/how-to-disperse-a-crowd/10150130731363331

Joagbaje:

^^^^
this is your first sensible post as far as I'm concerned Take high five . Either you like it or not

of course you will think its my first sensible post because it looks like im on your side. did you look through all my past posts to reach this conclusion or you were offended cos I said the truth about your christ embassy church on that thread? i give it hard to anybody, man. take it or leave it.

wake up and smell the dog's breath: im not on your side or anybody's side except the truth, and im not interested in making friends.

will you come on! there is nothing wrong with a christian praying for peace even if there will be wars everywhere

Jesus praying in john 14:27
peace I leave with you; my peace i give you. i do not give to you as the world gives. do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid

in line with psalm 91:17
a thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you

the prayer fits in with john 8:32
and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free

doesnt mean adeboye is or is not an agent of the devil or an anti-God anyway

.

Claus:

A relative tried to get my wife to follow him on twitter in the same way.

thanks. and here is another witness!

SirJohn:

Maybe its my ears, but I thought I heard him on 31st night say there are lots of things he wanted to do on facebook and twitter that he could'nt which made him want to creat his own platform?

maybe because it is not as easy to create bogus facebook accounts

seun222kun:

This OldOshobi, i can see u are very consistent on this nairaland & u never like any thing that has to do with ChristEmbassy, Why? ,  but ever time i read you comments, i just feel u are very close to the end of your time, bcus Old men like you in past time are always full of themselves. Add all your life together is nothing but an empty jar  of OldGallon poor, Wicked & envy, shameless Lecturer,  may God help u!,

eeyyyy Mind u, I Suen Kunle John, i exist for U!

good observation on your part, seun222kun!

isnt this remarkable from someone like you who joined nairaland 3 or 4 days ago?

^^^

look to the top of this page

fyneguy:

Cogicero, if part of your programming training was to reel out lies against people and organizations, then I'd rather not join issues with you.

which lies?  last i checked it's you guys who have lied, i have shown your lies up with facts. its also you guys who are running an illegal copy of a script on your church website.

fyneguy:

I think it's irresponsible of you to assume bogus accounts were created. In my response to Sir John, I did mention that people( I inclusive) opened accounts solely to follow Pastor Chris. That might have constituted what you called Twitter parking. The fact still remains that Twitter noticed the deluge of accounts.   

so i am uncultured and irresponsible. no yawa. i am only asking you to deny that your people did this, because i and some friends got emails with username and password to twitter, logged in to check and saw that we are already following pastor chris. i deleted the account, tweeted the matter and people replied saying they got similar emails and sms. if this did not happen, just say it isnt so. if you do not know, i think its wise for you to keep quiet about what you are ignorant about. 

and what deluge of accounts? let me tell you what. twitter is happier when they see many accounts. they only want real accounts, not bogus ones.

stop defending wrong. what is wrong is wrong.

i got your email, pc guru. thanks for the effort but that's the may 2010 version that was compiled [b]minus [/b]the user comments. its the same one i have. i need the extended manual with user comments e.g. as early as february or march 2010.

fyneguy:

^^^^ Stop being a nuissance. I experienced what Mabel said. I could not follow Pastor Chris. The problem actually was that because of the prayer sessions, many people tríed to log on at the same time and that affected Twitter's server. You can have a database capacity of 20 million but concurrent user capacity of 1 million.

i dont even want to start with this statement of yours. if it's so incapacitated why didn't it crash during world cup 2010? or you have more followers than were following the world cup?

mabell:

[b]Even after that when some people try to sign up , we received some funny messages on twitter such as "why are you following this man" or "stop following this man" very strange indeed. [/b]They only prove they are not capable of serving our purpose so we have to have our own platform.

are you a professional liar, or does christ embassy also practise al-taqqiyah like the muslims?

mabell and fyneguy and joagbaje and donnie,

you are talking trash here. twitter is currently one of the most scalable social networking platforms on earth, probably after facebook. what that means is that they create load balancing for heavy traffic.

lady gaga has many passive followers, true. but justin beiber? with 6.5 million followers, this little boy is the most talked about person on twitter. At least 3% of twitter conversations every second is about him. that is FAR higher than your so-called hourly prayers. what twitter did was to adjust themselves by load-balancing. here is the story.

The New York Daily News spoke with Dustin Curtis, a designer who interviewed a member of the Twitter staff and they learned that Bieber is so popular that 3% of all Twitter conversations are based around his account.

According to the report “racks of servers” are dedicated to ensure Bieber conversations run smoothly, not surprising for a pop sensation with 5,110,606 followers (at the time of this posting).

Throw in Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian, each who have more than 4 million followers and there you have it, probably a good 5% of Twitter conversations are based around less than half a dozen people.

so pastor chris told on twitter's infrastructure?  dont make me laugh too much please. you have no idea what traffic is.

fyneguy, that is bollocks you are saying. I am a professional programmer and relational database administrator. and all this talk of yours about impacts on infrastructure, where are your facts? twitter has a blog i actively follow where they talk about such things. not once was chris oyakhilome ever their problem.

what i know for a fact is that some christ embassy people created dummy accounts (probably after creating free yahoo emails) in the names of their friends and family and made them follow pastor chris by force, and sent the username and password to the users and told them to log in and enjoy the updates. marketing toh bahd. if that is a lie, i ask you to deny it here. 

so twitter sees many accounts following this guy (pastor chris) and many of them exist for no other purpose except to follow pastor chris. no updates from the users, no life, nothing. that is called [size=15pt]twitter parking[/size] and twitter frowns at it. as long as you keep creating such bogus accounts, you will keep having the problems.

what i am saying in essence is that if indeed twitter closed your pastor chris account, it was not because he had too much traffic or because twitter closed for two days (another flaming lie. i am a very active twitter user and not once did twitter go down for 2 days since it began operations). it was because of the bogus accounts that were created on people's behalf, the twitter-crime called twitter parking.

if you people did not create bogus accounts like i said above, deny it here and now. 

that aside, have you cleared up your illegal usage and violation of open source policy? or should i send a mail to blogtronix / sharetronix?

pc guru:

Check your mail but its in 7Z format because Gmail kept blocking it install 7zip to unzip it cheers

thanks a lot sir. i will unrar