₦airaland Forum

That's your problem.Try and innovate something profiting to Nigerians.May be some high tech.

I very much wonder why the spate of sudden violence in some segments of the North following the outcome of the 2011 presidential election. The killings, the arson, the mayhem are all uncalled for. I expect the major actors and stake holders in that region to talk to their followers for calm and normalcy to return to the area. This call is coming more because I expect the major players to understand that the Muslim north is being hunted by their own mistakes and not the electoral process that has being certified as one of the best, if not the best ever in Nigeria.
Nigerians are usually divided along ethno-religious and regional lines. The 2011 president election was not left out as the voting pattern all over the country was indicative of this fact. In the Christian dominated south, the majority vote went for the Christian candidate who pulled the feat in the region against his Muslim counterparts. The same was the case in the North where the Muslim candidate(s) pulled the feat against their Christian counterparts in the South. A case study of the voting pattern in the six geo-political zones of the nation shows clearly the porous nature of our nationality. Nigerians do not vote for national interest but they vote sentimentally for regional and ethno-religious interests. This is the reason behind the victory of Goodluck Ebele Jonnathan who, though from a minority seem to be favoured by the majority of the voting population and by four of the six geo-political zones. It must be noted also that of the six geopolitical zones the North-east and North-west though with a vast number of elites and political players are the most backward in terms of education. This could also be a determinant factor in a presidential election.
In the south-south and south eastern states, a Muslim candidate could not secure 25% of the votes cast because they chose to vote in mass for a Christian. Same was the case in the south west where though a good Muslim population exist but are now more comfortable with a Christian southern president than with their Muslim brothers .This is a result of the regional sentiments and some violent situations in recent times in the north where non Hausa-Fulani Muslims are not spared by their Faithfull’s with whom they share same belief.
The middle belt is a very important region in determining who Nigerians president becomes. The Muslim north used to enjoy a parley with this region and had benefited immensely in the past from the alliance. The civil war, military coup and other events of the past are a reflection of the relationship which is now sour due to developments in recent times which indicates, as now believed by the non Hausa-Fulani middle belters who are the majority in the region that they are not safe with the Hausa-Fulanis.
In the north east, the presence of the natives (Jukuns, Tivs, Takuns, Kanuris, Mangas etc) who though are a minority but majorly Christians is an advantage for a Christian presidential candidate. Their votes in addition to the votes of other non indigenes(Christians) and some liberal Muslims is enough to give their choice candidate a 25% of the votes cast. In most of the north western states where there are either no natives or their presence is very negligible and where the population of non indigenes(Christians) is relatively low the performance of Goodluck Jonnathan was poor and he could not secure the required 25% in most of the states because they too, voted sentimentally for Buhari and Shekarau.
My advices for the Hausa-fulani is that they should wake up from their wrong believe that they control the political will of this nation. Without the middle belt, they don’t even control the voting population of Nigeria. Shagari won election(though questionable) because the Hausa- Fulani had not soiled their parley with the middle belt and two of the three major players, Awolowo and Zik are from the south. Instead of aggravate their problems by igniting violence in the north and destroying lives and properties of non Hausa-Fulani, they should rather appease the middle belt people, the non Hausa-Fulani Muslims if they ever want to produce a president of Nigeria through a free and fair process as the just concluded one.

Lets contribute to the growth of our nation by constructively criticizing with a clear point.Issue base criticism is profiting.You have not made any point.

In a growing democracy continuity is necessary for its sustenance.Experience is an important tool for democratic development.As deputy governor and governors respectively Good luck/Sambo is what we need to transform our nation.We can make it! vote GEJ-SAMBO FOR PRESIDENT

In a growing democracy continuity is necessary for its sustenance.Experience is an important tool for democratic development.As deputy governor and governors respectively Good luck/Sambo is what we need to transform our nation.We can make it! vote GEJ-SAMBO FOR PRESIDENT.

We may make do with an emotional president but not some politicians politicking with tears.Buhari did not weep because of his love for the country but for the failure of his party even in the north where he was thought to have a stronghold.They could not outshine the ANPP not to talk of contending with the PDP.I like gen. Buhari but he had his turn in military and that does not really define as one good turn that should deserve another.VOTE GEJ.God bless Nigeria!

parasite

A lady went to a pastor for prayers and here is the conversation that enssued between them:
Lady: Pastor there is fire on the mountain!
Pastor: Then call the fire service, this is a church office and I am the pastor in charge not a fire
              fighter.
Lady:My husband is threatning to throw me out because I haven't gotten the fruit of the womb.
Pastor: I see, go to any garden in town and pay for a room, I have a lot of seeds to plant.Infact
you should be thinking of harvesting in nine months time.
Lady: Chai I cant believe my ears
Pastor:Then let me prove to you that am serious!

ze senate president,
ze chief jurstice of ningelia
distinguish guest
and fellow ningelia fiffle

first of oll I want tu thank oll mighty Alah for keefing us till zis day, I also want tu thank ze fiffle of ningelia for ze susteanance of democracy.

let me start by advicing oll those who lost in ze general elections zat there is no need going tu any tribunal as BABA NAPEP was aware zat there are tribunals before he decided tu give us oll ze offices we took.
As for ze froblem in Niger delta Jona Lucky has been used tu set an examfle by ze burning of his house in bayelsa, so we must make swa we comfly with ze boys and giv them more oyimbo tu kidnap so they can be haffy
zat is oll I have been told for now by baba NAPEP tu say
Thank you.

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And who sounds intelligent to you Seun? Alhaji Yarima, Atiku, ok, Kalu, oh I guess Utomi because he is a doctor, isn't it? am sure Utomi and Okorocha knows all about the politics of Nigeria or better still we should preffer Ibrahim or one of those ex- and old politicians who already knows all about how to embezzle public funds and don't need to learn how any longer.Someone says Nahu, why if I may ask? is it because he fights corruption? incase you have forgotten, let me remind you that, that is what he was appointed to do.And why his selective investigations? Some even preffer a lousy minister, who doesn't know how to talk and always treat people without considerations, using his ministry as a tool of oppression.

As for me, I choose Rev. Chris Okotie.He may not actually be the right man as non of us can know who is right or wrong till they get in power as not even their past record can tell cos you dont judge a man from his past.I think to a certain degree he has a better repution and credibility than the other aspirants.He being my choice has nothing to do with his being a pastor.Far from it as I will be the last person to vote for any religious leader.For Okotie he seem to have a focus and really seem determined to make a change.This guy looks and sounds intelligent on like some of those old expired folks.I think Nigeria needs a young, vibrant, intelligent, well schooled, and not an ex-military nor any of their folks MAN to lead her.This man in question seem to fit in.If any one thinks otherwise let him point out a point that disqualifies his person.Let us not get mad about his claim about God speaking to him.It might be crazy any way, but I believe what should bother us is not who spoke to him or who didn't but who he is that claims to have being spoken to.Even if its a lie I believe his is not the greatest compared to the lies of the other politicians.Thats left for him an BABA GOD.

At 16, they can fly without perching,at 26, they begin to look for trees to perch on;the wise ones perch on any tree that can cover them, while the foolish ones look for irokos.
At 36,they revert to any available tree;but then their wings are too weak to make a good nest.And may not be accepted by any tree.

A little girl asked her mother why there are grey strands of hairs in her hair.The mother told her that each time she disobeyed her one strand is added.The girl then asked her mother why grandma's hair are all grey.

A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; "Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?" The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey." The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. "Mother?" She sweetly asked again. "Yes?" Her Mother replied. "Why is Grandma's hair all grey?"

Did I hear you say ''happy democracy''? you no even get democracy not to talk of happy one.Infact, sad one you don't even have, because wetin remain na CRAZY the DEMO don clean finish.What I expect you to say is "DEM ALL CRAZY'' and I will wish you people thesame to you.Who told you Nigerian politics is dirty, it is not, ask those in the tail of affairs they will tell you that polithenes are clean and big to cyphone , I beg my, cyphone correct? na you know, I no call wetin they dey cyphone, If you like go tell CCFE or CPCI, he be like say I turn them upside down oh.They don decieve una again for radios and television today 29th of may again abi? I don tell LEPA, oh sorry Power holders make them dey hold power all over Nigeria every 29th so that the poor, helpless, wretched Nigerian no go hear their lies.you they happy abi? why you dey like bad discription, as I say poor, helpless, wretched Nigerians u done they happy.you poor? go Mozambique make u see as poverty spread mat for ground, na odon for there.At least the average Nigerian eat one square meal today, na only God know how many the least Nigerian eat.Abeg una no vex, how many triangle una eat? because if una one meal still get reach four side then una no they do badly.Abeg make all nairalanders hail our leader again, they dey try, he no easy to decieve a whole country like Naija.20 gun shots for them.Infact make una go for life imprisonment no, meant to say Life in President.

A Religious Leader To Govern This Nation?

What do you think about a religious leader ruling this nation? will it actually make any difference? Will the experience within the four walls of the church and the knowledge of the bible help?

Even if he has not been corrupt, what do you think will happen if he gets into power? Will he beat them or join them?

Do you agree that God can or will ever promise any one the presidency of this nation?

Please air your views without sentiments.

What do you think about a pastor rulling this nation? will it actually make any difference? will the experience within the four walls of the church and the knowledge of the bible help?Even if he has not been corrupt, what do you think will happen if he gets into power? will he beat them or join them? do you agree that God can or will ever promise any one the presidency of this nation? please air your views without sentiments.

An elderly parish priest became unhappy
with the things he was hearing during
Saturday confessions. After his sermon
one Sunday morning, he said to his
congregation, "I'm tired of hearing so
many people tell me in confession that
they have cheated.  For thirty years,
people have been saying to me 'I have
cheated with Rufai,  I have cheated
with Bola ,  I have cheated with
Ngozi.' I am sick and tired of
hearing this word. From now on, when
you come into my confessional, you will
say 'I have fallen wth Rufai, or with
Bola, or with Ngozi.' No more the word
CHEAT. It will be FALL."

About a year later, the old priest
retired and was replaced by a younger
man.  No one thought to tell the new
priest about the change of words in the
confessional.  After hearing his first
round of Saturday confessions, the young
priest went to the emir of the town and
said to him, "Mr. emir, you have to do something about the
deplorable condition of the streets and
sidewalks in this town. Everybody is
telling me they are falling all over the
place."

The emir immediately understood the
problem, and he leaned back in his chair
and laughed.

The priest was surprised, and said, "Mr.
emir, you shouldn't be laughing! Your
wife told me that just last week she
fell three times!" first was muhammed, next was Zik last was Abiola.

A pretty Calabar woman was driving down a country
road in her new Kia car when something went
wrong with the car and it broke down. Luckily,
she happened to be near a farmhouse. She went up
to the farmhouse and knocked on the door. When the
farmer answered, she said to him, "Oh, it's Sunday
night and my car broke down! I don't know what to
do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow
when I can get some help?

"Well," said the farmer, "you can stay here,
but I don't want you messin' with my sons Ufot
and Uduak."

She looks through the screen door and saw two
men standing behind the farmer. She judged them
to be in the early twenties.

"Okay", she said.

After they had gone to bed for the night the
woman began to get a little Hot just thinking
about the two boys in the room next to her. So
she quietly went into their room and said, "Boys,
how would you like for me to teach you the ways
of the world?"

They said, "Huh?"

She said, "The only thing is, I don't want to get
pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She
puts them on the boys, and the three of them went at it all night long.


Forty years later Ufot and Uduak were sitting on the
front porch, rocking back and forth. "Uduak?"                                                                                                                       remember that Calabar woman that came
here about forty years ago and showed us the
ways of the world?"

"Yes," said Uduak, "I remember."

"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asked
Ufot.

"Nope," said Uduak "

"Me, neither," said Ufot, "Let's take these rubbers
off."

The admission list for the university of Jos will be out by the end of this month(May).Resumption is dated for 6th of June 2006.

You old man, did I hear you say 'GAINT OF AFRICA',ok, am sure you meant 'GOLIATH OF AFRICA.Don't worry, very soon all the Davids of Africa will soon hit on you.People are talking those who don't have a single man left after their years of civil war to take over their leadership are still talking.Infact now that you are president what will they call your husband? first lady ehm?hnm, I pitty that man oh, If na me I for plan family coup.See what is bothering this old man whose house is on fire and he is still talking.see you, I nover even start, by the time I finish they go regret why them free me from KIRIKIRI.I must recover the things when I loss the first time. When my mates dey rule for many years, I go smart hand over.This time nothing for them.Who dey wait go old.See that one when no let my brother enjoy him right still they eye this seat.ODI ODI FOR YOU.Nobi only ASO you go stay, na ASS HOLE.Even this smalley when I allow dey lick peper wan still show him talent.When I dey for kirikiri he dey for bush dey do 'KAI' for NAMA.Make those other people no try me oh.Na now they wan break abi? dey no fit break when I dey for Kirikiri make I free.They better waite make I R.I.P because that na the only thing when go fit comot me from this chair.As for those people when get national cake make them no worry.I know their problem, na we we.

MALLAM: If fellow nigelians fote for me in the next fresidential election I fromise,Iwill take the capital from Avuja to sokoto, make life worse for the southern feofle.make vetter roads in zanfara and avove all Sharia every whear.

NNA: Chai, looko at whatu thisi man isi sayingi, chineke willi punishi you, amadioha willi blasiti youer mouthu for you.Evenu if I amu deadi, my sipiriti willi not votu for you.Evenu if you givu me 20 million naera, I willi chopu your money for nothing.

BABA: kilonshe, aha, another baba and he go make lifee better, he nor go increase petrol and he go bring more than GENERAL STREET MADNESS(GSM).

PKAKORORO:mallam, Nnamen and you lagos agbero na Devil go punish una three.If una no discharge from here now yawa go gas for una head, una no dey fear face.If una no let omo boy represent or surface for Aso rock this time, fire go burn for una head.that Idiot they even talk about Sharia when we dey try to reason if they go still eat from national pan cake.

MALLAM:Kai, me I dey crase,

BABA: yes

MALLAM: wether u like fawer must come back to North.

NNA: Over my deadi bodi.Insitead Biafran willi breaki outu.

BABA should not fear for Nigerians because if he wasn't here Nigeria wouldn't have left presidency vaccant since 1999.I wonder why this talks about continuity, fight against corruption and whatever about introduction of GSM.What is the need of fighting corruption when a person who is involved in the fight is trying to lure others into corrupt practices to satisfy his own selfish interest.I mean if the people no want am, he noh go go?na by force.Then where is the difference between dictactorship and democracy? What has introduction of GSM got to do with good governance? Are Nigerians to eat GSM or pump GSM into their fuel tanks?I put it forward that the present fight agaisnt corruption is a POLITICAL tool of the present administration.Right now the senate president is being threatened because he is in no way trying to bend the rule of law to favour a particular bill.talking about continuity, dont you think its better to try someone else? as am sure that this present administration has exhausted all of its developmental strategies in regular fuel price hike, selling and buying up government owned companies, introduction of GSM, settlement of foriegn debts which is no big deal as the money is actually Nigerian's, or what else?Since they have done so well they should proudly leave in peace and let someone else try his best as well.one of the qualities of a good leader is that he is able to get a successor at any time, so if MR is thinking there is no better Nigerian who can take over, then he had not being a good one himself.Am not after an IBO, YORUBA, HAUSA, or a SOUTH SOUTHERNAN taking over but am after having a change.BABA should not fear for Nigerians because if he wasn't here Nigeria wouldn't have left presidency vaccant since 1999.

If the people no want am, he noh go go?na by force.Then where is the difference between dictactorship and democracy? What has introduction of GSM got to do with good governance? Are Nigerians to eat GSM or pump GSM into their fuel tanks?I put it forward that the present fight agaisnt corruption is a POLITICAL tool of the present administration.Right now the senate president is being threatened because he is in no way trying to bend the rule of law to favour a particular bill.

Timpaul, please don't give up.let us see what happens by weekend.

I appreciate the way one of our northern brothers, a civil right activist and chairman of the socialist front (SF) addressed some Northern governors telling them the truth about their inabilities to develope their states within the past seven years in office.

He, mallam Shehu Sani plainly told his northern brothers that they should prove that they can survive without the oil produced in the Niger Delta and without politics as they have been dependent on both.Am sure you know what that means?

If other top placed Nigerians will come out and criticise their own people openly for wrongs committed, am sure that Nigeria will be better.because its better to remove the lump in one's eye before one's neighbour's eye.

If you read wednesday May 3rd Guardian you will understand better.

When I made a post with the topic 'Jamb Failed Again' several naira land user never agreed with me, instead they argued.If you are interested in what I meant check this link; http://www.guardiannewsngr.com/education/article02. As at the time I made the post what you just read from that link had not been posted.

I wonder how the super or flying eagles are ever going to do well in any competition again.If they never satisfied Nigerians when they were not forbidden I wonder how they will do that now when almost all Nigerians no wan get anything to do with Birds, weder super or flying one, since the introduction of bird flu by their fellow birds in farms, ministry of Agriculture, ministry of information and National orientation and even for Aso rock.It is very very wa.Ehen how come bird flu no reach one of the biggest farms in the third term area of Nigeria owned by a top Nigerian residing in Aso wreck? Those people better change their names to super and crawling cows respectively.