₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Ben-10 link=topic=320278.msg5497079#msg5497079 date=1265916513][/quote]hypocrisy!!!. . . . . master like yu in this field of study feigning cheap surprise. . . . . .

snowdrops:
Very soon SOMALIA  will start deporting ILLEGAL Nigerians

hw come i find myself beliving this statement. . .

smuggling to yemen? it cant be, please let them come up that yemen was just a transit route. . . . . yemen of all places to risk life go illegally?? toh!

[quote author=Ben-10 link=topic=346828.msg5493508#msg5493508 date=1265886210]post more jokes and stop chatting. [/quote]doesnt exclude yu na. . . . 4hours don pass nw and still hoping fopr a single joke from yu. . . . lead by example

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

romsky:
hope u r grasping fast

can u take the whole class over again?

_{*his body begins to feel like he's going to heaven . then he realizes he's dyiing  . . .and hurries back to earth*}

thanx for bringing me back to life babybootz 

why did i faint in the first place.

*he remembers . . .and faints again*
[quote][/quote]toh!. . . . i chop back my comment!

rafa was at his usual sentiments, it was too clear frm the first 15minutes ngog will gv us nothing. easily muscled off the ball or he runs str8 into a wall of defence. it was a game that was open which we failed to take opportunity of. babel came close and was definitely a better option.

well, rafa just missed on getting a fat bonus cheque from me. . .

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them the Major called for this HOT number from the nearby town.

She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes.

For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G strings. This time the applause went for 10 minutes.

The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.

For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage. The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?"

She replied, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?!!?"

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nu.de beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman's va.gin.a. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.

After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his pe-nis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.

The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the occasion. "if neither of you objects," the medic said, "I could give it a try."

Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's thrust continued for several long minutes. "Hey, What the hell is happening?"

"Change of plans," The physician panted. " I'm going to drown the little bastard!."

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off di.cks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too, I dreamt they were auctioning off cu.nts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction.

@coolguys
9ice jokes thou, but this is another person thread! y can't u start urs?  
[quote][/quote]true talk. . . .but i dnt think there's an award for thread creating? the jokes fit the thread topic and i'm simply helping out not taking over? shuo, abi na offence to post jokes for person thread?

i'm in gud mood sha, else i for just muttallab u comot hia. . . . hiss!

D1Kerewa

abeg help me ask am o. . . wetin i buy for him market?

A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off.

He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says "What's up with your neighbors?" and the owner of the house says "Oh that’s the Robinson’s, they're both deaf. She's telling him to go milk the cow and he's telling her to go mess herself!"

A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine.

On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way.

"Well, okay," he says, "how about a Mouth Action?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"

He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?"

"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."

So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.

"What's wrong?!" she cries out.

"Take your thumb off the end!!"

A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside.

A hooker comes along and says to him, "Like to come home with me, buddy?"

"For how much?" asks the man.

"One hundred dollars," the hooker answers.

"I'll give you five bucks," he replies with pun intended.

The hooker swears at him and walks away while he smiles hard at his joke.

A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk.

As they round the corner, there stands the same hooker. She takes one look at the man and his wife and says, "HA!… see what you get for five bucks? u sure got no taste'' and laughs loud.

@D1Kerewa

- funny jokes, ehn?

thanx 4 d compliments. . .

- . . lame and outdated. . . bla bla

it answers ur questn or not  ?

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real ho.rny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?"

She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before."

So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"

D1KeleVra:
Mr. "Coolguyz" erm. . . how many guys exactly use ya NL account?

3 guyz. . . me, myself and i. . .

A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range.

The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golfpro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's bre.asts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!"

Now the woman takes her turn. Her ball goes 30 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, try holding the club like you hold your husbands di.ck." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golfpro: "eem, Not bad, but now take the club out of your mouth and hit the ball."

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started handling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was pre-intimacy for something a bit heavier".

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

still beats me why we dumped the dubai deal and went for the bloody yankees. . .

just wish any other money bag wt passion can come boot them out


YNWA

uhmm. . . . a DRAW is written all over xcept everton shoots themselves in the leg and chelksi grab all points with 5mins left of game.

will be a drab DRAW. . . with some near chances!

count down is on. . . . . . . a win and i'l gv rafa my bonus cheque.

YNWA

classes starting when?

adasi,

rily appreciate, but he's lil bit firm on the choice which i guess also cos of his budget. i'm using my tabs to get it fast cos its lil urgent before liabilities come up for the money - u knw wat i mean.

will get across anyway

thnx!

uhmmm. . .!

Hi peeps, quite awhile in this section. in need of a Toyota Camry for a big uncle.

Model - 2001 / 2002

Please send full car details, pictures, vin and firm prices (or where it's still on high seas or pre-ordered, include cost ex-clearing as well) to naija4life2000@yahoo.com or posts what you have here as well and i'l get across to you asap.

Thanx!

Tevez dey take this match personal oooo. . . .

game jus start now. . . citeh and utd fans, hw mkt o ? (shei, see as boyz dey VEX)  

Thank God for Enyeama, na so my fuel for just waste ehn?

pls give ample description. . . ard where in onike, title, and state of building.?

Rhymstein:
@coolguys
Thats d most fuckn biased post v seen, most times u peeps think u r right, u r really far frm that, there's no alaba ere, u hear, any1 dat came ere came frm lag boy, u jst dey make me laff, the badman,i hear on radio, sounds lyk mode, n d one on cds sound lyk him,d one i watch on tv sounds lyk him, na bus stop dem tey dey buy cd?na store dem dey sell ere,dey dnt hawk ere, my school gate, its there,ring road,it was there,new benin,i saw it in stores, there's nothin wrong wit modo's delivery, v thrashed your biased posts wit facts, my guy in abj got dat album n my guy in ph, so wots u talkin,u startd wit airplay,i thrashd dat, come up wit something new abeg wit facts, dnt just talk, rugged dnt work for me,n dat track she n my swagger is nt a hit pls, n its nt so spectacular, d track is ok, n v said b4,rugged aint whack, bt he doesnt work for me, party raps dnt work for me

Go google rap delivery n knw wot delivery is,.,they r lots of rap delivery styles, do u knw silk d shocker raps offbeat,thats his style, go check www.rapreviews.com n check all naija albums there,n tell me wot they said abt mode's delivery

na serious VEX be dis oooo. . . .dnt think i also sed m9 is WACK. . .just dt he also dnt work for ME too. fight no dey church na. . .na simple pray and say amen.  bt i still stand by it dt M9's voice delivery on ''badman'' wasnt original sha.

. .and pls which station u dey watch badman?

i knw benin wella oooo so dnt come dey take benin buga hia. (u dey reach airport rd side chop isi-ewu?. . .i miss benin small. . . and i hope u no dey reach luv gutter oooo?)