Some might also say posting this online is bad. I know. When you are really alone and lost the best part of yourself have pondering issues with No one to talk to you will understand.

Some might go and drink their life away at beer parlours. Some might kill themselves. Some might track the politicians, shoot them dead, shoot the wife and shoot themself. Some might start sleeping with all women breaking their heart in retaliation of what their wife did. Two wrongs cannot make right. These things are the current thing happening in our society. The court needs to simplify the divorce processes.

I gave everything a deep thought. I know Nairaland is a community of all types of people but I also believed I will also meet few great spiritual leaders in the same place. It Is just for to study what they said, pray and follow the best route. Everyones opinion is good, both spiritual leaders and non spiritual leaders because they can shed light on the issues in another perspective.

I am truly depressed, alone, feel dejected. I am trying to bounce back.

All the same I thank everyone. You are all great

Kobojunkie:
The person who told you such thing is wrong.

As far as the divorce as sin, it is explained in Matthew 5 sv 27 - 32 and in Matthew 19 vs 1 - 11 by Jesus Christ Himself.

If you don't even care to take time to study and learn these things on your own, why do you bother claiming to be a Christian?

I know that part of the scriptures as well.

However I believed that since God also said that it is not good for a man to be alone when he instituted the marriage it is not good for me to be alone. No doubt, i disobeyed, married a wrong woman if I come back in repentance I will be forgiven.

God exempted some people from his rules. For instance, God was not angry with David for eating the Holy bread.(this has nothing to do with marriage). God was not angry with Queen Esther for being a second wife after the king divorced Queen Vasti. Angel Gabriel answered Mary lightly but punished Zechariah when they asked the same questions (this has nothing to do with marriage). Even Job married a new wife after the former wife left him to curse God and die.

Blessed is anyone that God decides not to remember his wrong doing.

I just want to key inside these mercies so that I will enjoy the things God wanted me to enjoy in marriage with a new wife.

cybertruss:
Someone gave me an answer, that if she divorces me in her disobedience then I am free from her and can remarry. It is not a sin provided I was not the one that initiated it. That spiritual freedom is what I seek. As she is proud I know what I will do that might make her divorce me. Trust me it is not against both the law of God and man. Thanks everyone for your time

Anyway, I want to say that I have fault as well. For instance, I failed to listen to some 3 unknown Yoruba elders who tried to stop me from marrying her.

I was so open and soft as one of my friend told me that I am not hard. I have tried to be hard but that is not my nature. I am trying

He explained it with 1 Cor 7: 15

Someone gave me an answer, that if she divorces me in her disobedience then I am free from her and can remarry. It is not a sin provided I was not the one that initiated it. That spiritual freedom is what I seek. As she is proud I know what I will do that might make her divorce me. Trust me it is not against both the law of God and man. Thanks everyone for your time

Anyway, I want to say that I have fault as well. For instance, I failed to listen to some 3 unknown Yoruba elders who tried to stop me from marrying her.

I was so open and soft as one of my friend told me that I am not hard. I have tried to be hard but that is not my nature. I am trying

ruggedtimi:
this statement weakened me, are you a man ?? You sound so weak.

I agree. I am weak. I reserve the fight for the future

Sometimes in a battle it is wise to know when to retreat and when to strike. This should be time to retreat, heal. I believe the time to strike will come

Thank you everyone. I would divorce her and then think before I leap.

I would love to thank you all for your contributions. From what I could gather it seems that it's my problem I saw and marry her so I should do whatever I seemed that is right, pastor or no pastor.

Well I want to advise all unmarried people to be careful when getting married.

I blame myself for all my predicament. Some unknown old men told me not to marry my current wife but I was beclouded with love. So it is my fault. Those of you that is prayerful can just remember me in prayer so as to get out of these problem without going against God.

Kobojunkie:
Well, it is your marriage!

So you want to marry again and you don't want to just go do registry and be done with it? Is that it?

Are you planning on divorcing your current wife Or are you trying to add a second wife at this point?

I will have to divorce her first then carefully remarry. However not immediate as I will have to study the new person carefully with prayer.

If I enter a second wife problem that is total destruction.

cybertruss:


I might not have prove. But experience have taught me that sometimes those waiting for prove will get it in the grave. There are medical conditions that suggest something went wrong. You need to be alive to carry out investigations. I might be lucky she did not think of it in the beginning. With her open threat before the hearing of the children the she will deal with their father then everyone will know she is the woman of the house does it need further proves

Her action of cooking and refusing to give her husband food for many days. One-day she will pretend to have repented and add poison for the poor man to die. We should learn from nollywood films because they act what happens in our society . The man waiting for proof will get it in the grave.

Omo, I ran for now

Kobojunkie:
Do you actually have proof that your wife is capable of killing you, this after over 20 years of marriage?

You followed family advise, so may I ask what evidence family presented you in order to convince you that your wife of over 20 years was capable of killing you?

You abandoned your marriage and you are wondering why you are told you should not remarry?

I might not have prove. But experience have taught me that sometimes those waiting for prove will get it in the grave. There are medical conditions that suggest something went wrong. You need to be alive to carry out investigations. I might be lucky she did not think of it in the beginning. With her open threat before the hearing of the children the she will deal with their father then everyone will know she is the woman of the house does it need further proves

bukatyne:


Why doesn't she allow you kiss her?
1. Mouth odor
2. Not properly brushed teeth
3. Poor technique i.e. slopping with spit instead of kissing?
4. No attraction/ love towards you

Six or eight times a year is a type of sexual abuse called withholding sex. The question is why? Did you tell the pastor that?

I am trying to wonder if your marriage has always been like this (for 22 yrs) or this degenerated along the way.

If it is the former, you chose her (for whatever reason) and endured for 22 years; you can do more

If it is the latter, what went wrong? If you were always in this income bracket, the. I doubt your wife would become disrespectful now because of that except she JUST joined politics.

I pray everything becomes resolved. This is the time to do mummy & daddy around the house. Your kids are independent and you both still sound 'young'.

Withholding of sex is a problem from day one. I actually Don't know why because everything she complained I tried to correct it. I changed my dressing pattern and many other things but denial never ceased. The only crime is that I did not get large money.

But there were times I made big money but I think I was foolish in love. She pressurised me to divert to some other thing instead of what I know best and I did

That is my other mistake. I was completely open to her about my finance and I bring everything on the table. If I want to strengthen my business sometimes I receive stiff opposition. I was succumbing to her way until l learnt to hide my finances from her

efficiencie:


Dude own your shiit. You have successfully married an assassin. I wonder what you saw in her that made you choose her. Dude you better go for deliverance first. E fit be powers of your fathers/mothers house they turn the woman head. Go for prayers but if the matter still pass you japa!

I agree

Mleeperbother:


She is in her 40's, right?
Maybe she has reached menopause.

She is close, she has not reached

Kobojunkie:
So you say she has abandoned the marriage, how long has it been? And why are you considering remarriage now?

No I ran from her as my family advice me. I was told that she is capable of killing me. I am always in contact with my children. All the drama happened before them.

So she is in the building we built together. I ran for my life. I am in constant contact with my children.

crackhaus:

I find it very hard to believe any of this.

Well. I pray no one experience this kind of thing. Experience might make you believe. But I needed more on why it is wrong to re marry.

bukatyne:


You have three kids yet claim you have no sex life?

Or are you both hyper fertile that the three times you had sex turned to pregnancy?

Unfortunately, all your problems seemed tied to money.

It seems she now has more money/access to more money than you hence the disrespect.

How was your marriage prior to her joining politics?

What about her family? Your family?

@Pastor: is he just saying you stay together without proffering solutions? Is he aware of the true picture?

What does your wife want (apart from money)? Upon engagement, what are her pain points?

@slaps and blows because of sex: that is serious sexual abuse; was she raped?

I think you both should really engage as regards your expectations or go to a therapist.

@divorce and remarriage: there are two reasons for divorce; adultery & abandonment/the other person walks away. I would also strongly consider divorce/separation in the case of physical abuse (not fighting). That is loving my neighbor as I LOVE MYSELF.

If you can remarry in scenario two is what I don't know.

From time to time she allow me touch her. No kiss. Half bread is better than none. You have no choice.

In a year we might have sex an average of 6 to eight times. The few times we met resulted to children.

My crime is well known by me. I don't have big money. Not that I am not providing but it is below her expectation but I am not relaxing

elonmuskbaby:

wait shey you don't have family members that can talk to her Abi she does not have family members you can go and meet to talk to her?

If you have exhausted this option and no changes,it's obvious she's gone so open the gate for her to Go give her the divorce except you want her to be willing in your presence or doing aristo under your nose and then she push another man pikin for you to train.if you don't want that then let her go.its obvious she hasn't enjoyed life enough before getting married.she still wants to be on the Streets so let her be before she turns into esabod aboderin Tokunbo before your very eyes and be bringing embarrassment to you

Well that has been exhausted. Family, church, friends. Nothing can change her. However I have problem with people telling me it is a sin to remarry. However, I am going to be extremely careful if remarrying

cybertruss:


She is my first love and we struggled together. We are married for more than 20 years. Our first daughter is 22. Everything was ok with us till I sold my car to build our first house in Obada, Ewekoro, Ogun State. Because I don't hear Yoruba so well I allowed her go for landlord meeting on my behalf. They elected her as the PRO of the community. That was the time the thing climaxed. I have asked her that I want to kiss why don't she allow me. No answer was given . Once in a blue moon either once in a month or 2 to 3 months she gives me green card for sex. Half bread is better than none. If you try to kiss and the green card goes you might not have sex in another months. I survive by masturbation. And in 2 ocassions I went for prostitutes (I won't lie, when I cannot take it again) but hate it because like my wife they don't want kissing.

From community meeting she recently joined politics 2 years ago. I just let her be. Things worsened after we build our house. Our contribution to the building was equal in the house.

KimberlyWest:
How am I supposed to believe that a man last kissed his wife on their wedding day?
Did she start mingling with politicians right at the wedding venue?

This one off me, sha.

If you two built a house together and she contributed the bulk of the money, I'm assuming you must have spent at least 2 years together. House no be 1 naira thing. And in that two years you've never touched your wife and she's never asked to be touched?



This one no follow, sha.

She is my first love and we struggled together. We are married for more than 20 years. Our first daughter is 22. Everything was ok with us till I sold my car to build our first house in Obada, Ewekoro, Ogun State. Because I don't hear Yoruba so well I allowed her go for landlord meeting on my behalf. They elected her as the PRO of the community. That was the time the thing climaxed. I have asked her that I want to kiss why don't she allow me. No answer was given . Once in a blue moon either once in a month or 2 to 3 months she gives me green card for sex. Half bread is better than none. If you try to kiss and the green card goes you might not have sex in another months. I survive by masturbation. And in 2 ocassions I went for prostitutes (I won't lie, when I cannot take it again) but hate it because like my wife they don't want kissing.

taiwotimitt:
Hope she no APC member sha

I don't know her party but my children most of the time tell me that she went for political meeting.

Bornsinner7:
It look serious and at the same time funny..

I don't know what you want.. a reconciliation with your wife or the issue you have with pastors and their beliefs on remarriage..

Well.. I leave that to righteousness2 to enlighten you on the reason or reasons why it is wrong to remarry..

Back to your wife.. I don't understand what you mean by she gives you blow when you ask for sex.. blow as in ?? I want to believe it is Mouth Gig.. but if otherwise.. man!! Na wahala you marry oh

If you don't have kids.. it is best you move on with your life..

Real blow on stomach. Sometimes real dirty slap for me to leave her alone. It continues for months.

I don't want reconciliation as she seems to be enjoying her life. I only have problem with the no remarry preaching. We have 3 children

My wife no longer loves me. She always insults me, snub me and has no respect for me. I will confess I am not very rich but I work extremely hard. I noticed that my wife attends political meetings and they have overpowered me as she has no atom of respect for me.

In fact a time I sent 90% of my total monthly earning she told me real men send their wives 500,000 naira monthly but you send me this rubbish and call it money. The time I wanted to pack my things to the house we built together she told me that I cannot bring it in because it is her house.

It is a very shameful thing for me to mention that she gives me blow sometimes when I ask for sex. The day I got angry and revolted the whole world went against me that I went against the rights and dignity of a woman. I was accused of trying to rape my wife.

The last day I kissed a woman was on my wedding day when they said I can kiss her. Till today I have never kissed a woman. I take a lot of pains but cannot take that anymore. She seems to have carry on with her life in her political group in Ogun State. As she is mingling well with politicians there.

The problem is why are pastors telling me that I cannot carry on with my life.

Why is it called sin if I go for another woman. Didn't God himself say it is not good for man to be alone. I blame myself, I might have married a wrong lady. But didn't God himself say that if his people repent he will heal their land.

Why do they believe it is wrong to re marry?

It is very disappointing that graduates and learned people find it difficult to distinguish between an army and vigilante group.

Many know the truth right in their heart but cannot tell the truth because of their tribe.

It is a big SHAME.

I don't understand this ooo. IPOB have announced suspension of sit at home and unknown persons are in charge. Thanks to Buhari's tyranny which cannot solve anything.

Unknown sit at home enforcers should be begged not IPOB

When FG only know how to borrow, how can the economy be ok. They borrow money to build railway in Niger republic when Nigeria do not have good rail system. Even me that did not read banking, economic, etc knew that they are wrong

Na wa ooo. This might not be IPOB. Buhari dictatorial behaviour might have given birth to agitators without face.

Even today Monday, sit at home was observed when IPOB have cancelled it. There must be a faceless group whose name and leader is unknown.

I might be wrong. But I wanted to board a bus this morning to Lagos with the believe that there is no more sit at home at Nnewi this morning.

Someone on the road side gave me signal not to proceed. (Before then I have passed an empty Lagos park and i was greated by empty road)

Omo, I borrowed more okada tyres back to the house.

There are faceless/unknown group enforcing sit at home and fighting police which might not be IPOB or they might be the ones. It doesn't matter.

From history of mankind, agitation cannot die but lives on. The problem with our people is that they fail to learn from there histories. One-day for sure Nigeria will split unless the needful is addressed

South Africa is leading followed by Ghana(Thanks to Buhari). Ghana overtook Nigeria after bad economic policy of our FG made the economy fall yakata. Nigeria have not yet recovered economically to the state it was before Buhari took over.

We are currently living in our past glory of oil boom era. We are still flexing muscles militarily but we are no match to South Africa armies.

Ghanaians are silently building their wealth and training their young generation in technology. We will soon be given a big gap in the next 5 years if Nigeria politicians do not change focus

Na wa ooo. Can't there be ground intelligence to save civilians.

In my current location the sit at home is active. However we don't know who called for it as IPOB denied the sit at home. Update from Nnewi

Well, we are not begging to lift the ban. Thanks to VPN. It doesn't pay to be a tyrant.

For a long time IPOB have cancelled sit at home however I don't know who is enforcing the current sit at home.