₦airaland Forum

The choices we make, the patterns we observe in our lives are sometimes not random.

We usually tilt towards what is familiar. And sometimes, familiar may not necessarily be helpful to us.

Two individual's choice to be with each other can be a wonderful decision; maybe even the best decision.

However, if individually they have accumulated unhelpful belief systems about themselves, or about other people or about the world around them through the years, this can impact the way they interact with themselves or with others in ways that may not be helpful.

The choice of the person you're with may not be the challenge in the relationship. Maybe it might simply be what you're doing, or what you're not doing in the relationship, or what they're doing, or what they're not doing towards gaining harmony within the relationship.

Professional couples counseling/therapy will help you sit together as two consenting adults, to honestly explore critical areas upon which, if positive change happens, couples can start developing the will to trust again, and the will to open up to be loved and to love back, the will and courage to explore mutual vulnerability, trusting that each person would be secure in doing so.

This requires you to be intentional and to take action.

Book sessions using:

https://calendly.com/cydsessionsng


#cyd_sessions
#talktherapy
#counseling
#cbtpractice
#cognitivebehavioraltherapy
#therapist
#psychotherapy
#mentalhealth
#emotionalhealth
#relationships
#couplescounseling
#couplestherapy
#healthybehavior
#behaviorchange
#explorepage
#selfawareness
#selfmanagement
#abuja
#love
#vulnerability
#empathy
#unconditionalpositiveregard

In relationships, communication is key.
While you might think you are communicating,
You might actually be under-communicating, miscommunicating or over-communicating!

Couples sometimes identify “communication” and “understanding” as two core values they would like to see in their relationship. This makes good sense since relationships thrive on collaboration. And collaboration is smoother when people are able to be on the same page on any certain matter.
 
Poor communication often lead to misunderstandings. Misunderstandings then lay the grounds for couples to have disagreements. (This here, is different from a situation where a person understands what is being communicated but is unable to understand that there can be differing view points. And that it is ok, as long as it can be managed amicably.)

Disagreements can interfere with the likelihood to commit or stay committed in a relationship.

In the absence of commitment, fear regarding loyalty can begin to grow.

When loyalty is threatened, Trust can fly out of the window completely!

Couples Counseling/Therapy with a trained professional is a opportunity to approach your relationship with good objectivity and intention.

For more inquiries, email info@cydsessions.com;

For bookings, use this link:

https://calendly.com/cydsessionsng

#cyd_sessions
#talktherapy
#cognitivebehavioraltherapy
#cbtpractice
#privatepractice
#therapist
#counseling
#unburden
#unconditionalpositiveregard
#values
#relationship
#couplescounseling
#couplestherapy
#triosessions
#authenticself
#authenticity

Hello OP,

Have you considered the services of a certified professional therapist or counselor? Even if it's your last attempt to make sense of the disagreement going on between you two.

Four common issues that trouble couples to the extent of separation can include:

(1) Disagreements
(2) Communication issues
(3) Possibility of drugs or substance abuse
(4) Emotional, psychological or behavioral issues.

With a well designed counseling plan/program, you two could learn of the critical issues bedeviling your relationship, and decide what to do going forward.

The program that 'Cyd Sessions' offer has helped other couples decide the way forward with clear-headedness, objectivity and intention.

To inquire and enroll, send an email to:

cydsessions@gmail.com

You can also follow @cyd_sessions on Instagram for helpful information on emotional, psychological and behavioral issues

Nacoss25:
I bring greetings to you all. I want to make this brief as possible.

I and my wife are married for a year now and since incception of the marriage it looks like the person I married is not the person I dated for two years, now due to series of issues that shows clearly that we are not compatible for marriage, and I have decided to end the marriage.

While the marriage was going on I set up a shop for her and I want to retrieve it from her but my problem is. She is with the shop receipt which I gave her after paying for it.

My name is Mike osundu and my wife name is Theresa though not real name. On the receipt it was written Theresa Mike Osundu.
I want to ask is it possible for my wife to lay claim on the shop.

No insult pls, only matured responds. Thanks

I am on Instagram @cyd_sessions.

For therapy, either send an email to cydsessions@gmail.com or send a private message on our Instagram handle.

Human beings are capable of learning new thinking patterns, new behaviors and new habits. If this has been a challenge, reach me so we can collaborate in resolving the issues you face.

Prolonged exposure to 'dysfunctional living', 'dysfunctional societies', can set up grounds for people to learn to take “dysfunctional living” as an acceptable way of living.

A person who is exposed early on in life to dysfunctional living, whether it be 'dysfunctional relationships/families', 'neighborhoods with dysfunctional values and amenities' etc, can learn to become accepting of the surrounding dysfunction, even though sometimes unconsciously.

The kinds of distortions that exposure to dysfunctional living can do to a person, sometimes get them to become saboteurs of beautiful opportunities and connections that they come in contact with.

For some, relocating from a place of dysfunction to a place of function can get them to self-correct, self-sabotaging until they have brought their current location into a state of dysfunction enough to start to feel a familiarity that gives them harmony and peace, then they stop. This can easily play out in relationships as well, where one person who grew up in a neighborhood that is permissive of partner/spousal abuse, connects with another who finds spousal abuse totally alien. If the behavior is not unlearned timely, the dysfunctional learning could find a way to manifest, possibly sabotaging a supposedly beautiful connection or relationship.

A person whose early and perhaps repeated experience of relationships is one of abuse,
can learn to pay forward abuse or expect abuse from relationships. Some even go on to feel that, if physical abuse is not part of a relationship, the “affection” is not passionate enough!

Growing up around unhappiness, can make a person to eventually learn to exude unhappiness even though sometimes unconsciously. Prolonged immersion in unhappy or violent environments can make a person learn to normalize and even adopt unhappiness and violence. Such that, the concept of another person being happy, as a 'valuable state of mind' might confuse them, or even annoy them.

On social amenities, growing up to meet previously tarred roads that have become full of potholes, or hospitals that continue to lack upgrades, or electricity that continue to be epileptic in the face of increasing billing, and other forms of dilapidating infrastructure . . . that go on to be left as dilapidated infrastructure for time immemorial, can make people learn to accomodate and tolerate, or even promote dysfunctional situations . . . sometimes in order to promote personal agendas.

Dysfunctional exposures in the long run can create dysfunctional people. People are generally not broken, ruined or irredeemably destroyed. With patient understanding, positions that are dysfunctional and unhelpful can be acknowledged, unlearned and new helpful ideas and positions learned.

Do you want a change?

Choosing a path, or a goal is you saying,
'I want to be more purposeful and directional, intentionally'.

But then, choosing a path, and agreeing on a goal may not be anything new to you.

Is it possible that failure over-the-years to follow through with planned goals, has become a discouragement towards setting up new goals?

New year resolutions quickly come to mind �!

And the feelings become: 'What's the point, if by mid-month I lose all motivation and drop the plan?'

If this has happened to you before, your past doesn't have to be the same as your future.

There may be reasons why goals and plans fail. Let's consider the things under your own control.

What are the objectives of the goal? As in what is the goal meant to achieve? Do you truly value what achieving the goal would mean?

What activities will you be doing in order to achieve the goal?

Is it possible to breakdown the activities to small, easily achievable tasks? Big enough to inspire you, yet small enough so you do not feel overwhelmed and therefore abandon it.

Check this, even if a task is small, if you cramp it up in a timeframe that is too short for its achievement, you will put yourself under pressure that may not be necessary.

Rephrase: A task that requires 3 hours, if you try to accomplish it in 30 minutes or 1 hour, you would be setting yourself up for undue pressure.

People respond to pressure differently. Some man up, some flee, while others give up. None of these reactions are bad per se. Its probably how a person may have learnt to respond. And, responses can be unlearned and relearned if they become unhelpful.

A healthy amount of pressure is fine. However, when pressure is on steady repeat, and prolonged, it can become unhelpful.

It is good to have goals. Break them to small achievable steps/tasks, pace yourself adequately, assess your progress and make adjustments when and where necessary.

If you pursue Progress rather than Perfection, you could have more Peace on this path to achieving your goals.

Follow @cyd_sessions on Instagram.

#cyd_sessions
#goals
#direction
#dandelion
#motivation
#enroute

Nigerian Northerners are more interested in holding unto political and military power. By so doing, they dictate the life trajectory for the yorubas and igbos through policy formulation and direction.

There may be certain thoughts, emotions, behaviours, holding you, limiting you from full potential.

What are they?

If you feel you aren't ready yet . . . would you be willing to explore why you do not feel ready?

Some captivity may be voluntary.
And because it may be voluntary, it can feel like safety!

What are you unwilling to face?

Is your comfort zone comfortable? Could this comfort zone be the source of the limitions you've been working hard to scale through?

Follow @cyd_sessions on Instagram for updates.

#cyd_sessions
#talktherapy
#counseling
#cbtpractice
#cognitivebehavioraltherapy
#mentalhealth
#authenticself
#grounding
#selfawareness
#selfmanagement
#facethefear
#resolvethestorm
#breakout
#explorepage
#instagramtrend
#becoming
#helpingprofessional

As you dey so, na every time you dey happy? Na every time your belle dey sweet you?

This thing wey them dey call 'sweet-belle', where e dey from come? Wetin dey cause am? Wetin dey make people to dey happy?

Shey na because of say people wey dey ya area dey happy, na why you ma dey happy? Abi na sake of say person do you something wey sweet ya belle, na why you dey happy? Wetin be the source of your happiness?

If you be person wey dey sabi siddon think, whether na good-good thinking, abi na thinking wey no dey sweet belle, things wey you been done forget before-before, if you remember them, them fit make you start to dey think go far again.
 
True-true, things wey you been done forget before-before fit come back for ya mind again come start to dey make you dey think go far again.

If something do you today, whether e sweet ya belle, whether e no sweet ya belle, if the thing happen to you again plenty other times, you fit begin think say na so life be, or na so life go dey be till you die (beliefs).

Say something happen to you before, no mean say na so e go dey be till you die.

You fit decide to change how you respond to things. And that decision, na you go make am. If you give many people chance, them fit prefer say make you dey chop sand-sand from morning till night, them no go mind!

No be only the experience of good-good things dey bring happiness. Happiness fit dey your mind if you begin remember all the other good-good things wey been don happen to you before.

So, if you want to dey get sweet-belle things to dey think and remember, e for good if you begin from today to dey join-body dey do sweet-belle things, dey go sweet-belle places, dey play with correct people wey wahala no dey their body etcheteram-etcheteram!

If you full your head and heart with sweet-belle experiences, when time to dey think come reach, na so-so sweet-belle things wey you been done experience you go dey remember, na so your mind go dey soft dey-sweet-dey-go.

For this life, make you pursue sweet-belle, make you run leave things wey dey cause vex. Vex no too good, especially if e done dey body for long.

I hope say I talk well.



#abujababes
#bbnaija
#9naijawoman
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#naijabrands

You may follow my handle on Instagram: @cyd_sessions
On Twitter and Facebook: @cydsession

Send emails to: cydsessions@gmail.com.

Regards.

When you experience some form of pressure, the body can come under stress.

Stress can be triggered by many different things. Some are positive triggers, others are negative triggers.

When you are pushed or motivated to handle a challenge, this can result in positive stress.

On the other hand, stress can become negative when you begin to feel overwhelmed by tasks, or when pressures start to become disruptive away from normal.

Stress can be managed.
If you want support in managing stress, send a DM or send an e-mail to cydsessions@gmail.com

#skilledinhelping
#iwillreachyouwhereyouare
#astepatatime
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#abujapsychotherapist
#nigeriapsychotherapist
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#abujabusiness
#privatepractice
#mentalhealthafrica
#mentalhealthnigeria

When people are facing situations in their lives that put them in some level of stress or pressure, they often take up strategies to help them manage the situation. The situations can be positive or negative. These strategies have been called Coping strategies or mechanisms.

Coping strategies, may involve focusing on the situation, so as to manage it towards resolution. It may also involve focusing on the emotions that come up due to the situation.

On another level, coping strategies can include 'Confronting the issue', or 'Avoiding it'.

With coping strategies, there are those ones that are helpful, and there are those ones that are unhelpful.

Helpful coping strategies may include:

1. Seeking support, counseling.
2. Exercise or other forms of physical activity.
3. Relaxation through soothing music, massage, art & poetry etc.

Unhelpful coping strategies could include:

1. Risky behavior (extreme sport, high speed driving and other forms of adrenaline-high activities).

2. Escape or isolation from society.

3. Unhealthy soothing through over-eating, binge drinking, excessive use of social media. Etc. These often lead to dependence on what they consume.

4. Numbing: This is when soothing behaviors have degenerated and is used to mask the effects of stress. It includes use of drugs, binging, unhealthy eating etc.

When a person is experiencing emotional stress, seeking counseling, therapy and support is highly recommended. Other forms of coping strategies may only serve to sooth the situation (as in the case of helpful coping strategies) or make it fester (as in the case of unhelpful coping strategies). As a wise man once said, “You don't want to place a sticky plaster over an infected wound”.

Therapy deals with underlying issues.

#cyd_sessions
#counseling
#copingstrategies
#stickyplaster
#joyagain

donbachi:
U start living like others want u to.

I agree. This happens.

And this creates pressure because a person will always fall short trying to be another person's opinion of you. Their opinion will keep shifting, and the goal will keep changing. Such a person may end up accepting failure as a personal trait!

Tenzilla:
I’ve read a lot of stories about depression and anxiety, from the fact that it is not a real problem to the fact that you should tread this at hospitals, otherwise it can lead to some serious consequences. If someone is experiencing depression or anxiety right now one of the best things you can try is medical marijuana, if your state allows it, or maybe even better, kratom leaves or powder, but only if it is allowed in your state. Nevertheless, everybody can learn about its benefits or maybe disadvantages here https://kratomgallery.com/ and decide yourself if they want to try it or not. I hope that I’ve been useful with this commentary. Thank you.

Anxiety and depression are real . Professionals skilled in helping people who have these experiences can also offer such services outside of hospital settings. That's why you have private practice.

Dealing with underlying psychological issues through talk therapy is pretty much researched. Some people consider certain types of “solutions” as “placing a sticky plaster on a festering wound”. The link you attached didnt say Kratom helps with the two issues under purview.

Thanks for commenting though.

Fear is the body's warning system against threats or stress. It isn't totally a bad thing. However, when fear starts to have a stagnating effect on a person, crippling the tendency to make decisions and take actions that are progressive, then unlearning and relearning can become necessary.
.

To resolve fear, the fear has to be put into perspective because, at the core, no one method may fit all situations.
Resolving fears would generally involve unlearning the fears. To unlearn, you have to understand the real thing feeding the fear in you.
Unlearning also means revisiting your response mechanism towards fear. When faced with fear, what do you do? Do you flee, do you confront or do you freeze, incapacitated?
For fears based on self esteem issues, the self esteem issues have to be dealt with from the root.
.

(1) Confront the fear, Or remove the thing causing fear Or move away from the fear trigger.
.

(2) Assess how you process a thing that causes you fear. Critique your thoughts of fear for credibility. Unlearn beliefs that feed the thoughts.
.

(3) Assess your coping resources against fear
.

Psychotherapy has been effective at helping people manage fear.

For further inquiries, for help with fear issues, e-mail: cydsessions@gmail.com

#fearless
#fearresolution
#boldhearted
#servingthoughts
#fearofrejection�
#fearofsuccess�
#fearoffailing
#mentalhealth
#mentalhealthsupport
#abujabusiness
#psychotherapy
#acmpn
#cognitivebehavioraltherapy
#cyd_sessions
#cydsessions

Fear of Success:

This sounds strange, but it does exist. The fear of success has been linked with the existence of low self-esteem.
This is a scenario whereby a person feels undeserving of a certain level or extent of success!
Education and skills play roles in achieving success, but enduring success comes with the belief that a person is deserving of it.

Like other kinds of fears, this also could have been established during early childhood or during teenagehood.

The desire for success may be apparent, but the subconscious is not in sync with the conscious desire. And psychologists say that a lot more is going on in our subconscious than there is happening on our conscious minds.

When these persons manage to attain improved successes, somehow self-sabotaging behaviours kick in, and they fall back to levels they subconsciously can accommodate and relate with.

Sometimes, fear of success comes from prolonged association with a certain status quo. When a person learns and accepts a certain level of success as their peak, they can start to unconsciously reject successes that push beyond those peaks. The rejection is unconscious because, such a person does not know that surmounting their regular peak activates them on a self-sabotage behavior. When they fall back below their regular peak, their sense returns, self-sabotage ends, and the struggle continues! They are thus held in a cycle, by beliefs that may no longer serve them good purpose if they do want to hit higher ground.

Fear of Rejection:

People have an innate longing to belong, to be accepted, to be acknowledged as being a part of someone or something.
So, it also happens that people do have fears or anxiety over the possibility that their quest to belong might be turned down, or that for some reason they might be cut-off from being friends with persons they cherish.

But really, what's this fear about? What feeds the fear?

Is it a silent inner belief or questioning that, maybe the person harbouring this fear is not good enough? Has not loved themselves enough? Have not come to terms with their level of competence?

When rejection happens, the person rejected often internalizes the event and often adopts percieved or self-created faults. Rejection brings people into touch with their insecurities, percieved or real. You start to become aware of all the ways that you are insufficient, all the ways you are not good enough etc. Whether these thoughts are real or not, it usually is a place where people don't want to be at. People would rather avoid the disappointment or hurt of being rejected. And if rejection has happened a few times before, for most people, rather than trying, only to eventually be rejected, they sometimes choose not to try again!

Fear is an instinct that helps us manage self preservation. It is mostly an unconscious feeling. You feel it when your body is trying to warn you about something you must have encountered previously, and had associated it with some level of pain or hurt.

As infants, people come with only a few basic fear instincts, for example the fear of a sudden loud sound, the fear of falling. Much of the other kinds of fears are learnt during the course of life.

Broadly, fears are of two types: external fears and internal fears.

External fears are those whose sources are from the outside of people. For example: fear of animals (including insects), plants, things, fear of spaces (heights, enclosures) etc.
Internal fears are fears that are influenced by external events, but which create internal belief systems. Internal fears have to-some-extent been referred to as low self-esteem issues.

The quality of self esteem a person has is associated with the type of exposures or treatment the person received during the critical period of character development; which is within early childhood and during teenagehood. Those timeframes are mostly spent with parents or guardians. Fears created by parents or guardians in children can be stored in their nonconscious minds all their lives. For example, if a child got much more rebukes and criticisms than praises for tasks accomplished, the child can grow up with a sense of inadequacy, poor confidence (inferiority complex in essence).

However, a behavior that is learned can also be unlearned. To unlearn such, it would be necessary to understand what caused the learning in the first place. Also, to consider if the cause is still active and within proximity etc.

#cydsessions
#fearless
#fearoffailing
#fearofrejection�
#fearofsuccess�

The mind and thoughts are very powerful.
Fear is a feeling that creeps-up on people without much notice. Just as there's fear of failure, there's also fear of rejection and fear of success! � Without an in-depth awareness of one's self, fear or other poorly managed emotions can play you a lifetime of games and you could come out wondering how and when time passed by. Sometimes with a string of regret for the things you could have accomplished, but didn't just because of Fear!

#cydsessions
#fearless
#fearoffailing
#fearofrejection�
#fearofsuccess�

Babacele:
I think there is need for heavy and consistent advocacy about the advantage of seeking psychiatric therapy as most persons that has passed one stress or the other may need the medical help. Ask me if loud unsolicited noise sources from music boxes, cars, religious centres etc ; stolen or deliberately delayed emoluments; threats from landlords,family members or spouses; bad infrastructure and several abnormalities pervading Nigeria are not enough for many Nigerians to be ' mental'. Truth is, many Nigerians are ' mental'. That bus conductor and driver shouting and behaving as if they are under some drugs' influence no ' mental'? Abi na church members screaming at the top of their voices as if God is deaf, na them no dey 'mental'? Hehehe politician that is hiding N5b he can never spend finish inside toilet or ' soakaway' , no be im ' mental pass.

You are right, the advocacy and awareness must continue, and loudly too.

Not all emotional issues tending towards dysfunction require the use of medication. That's why besides psychiatrists, they are psychologists and other practicing psychotherapists. Some cases require both medications and talk Therapy. Others may only require talk therapy.

Many people are scared or ashamed of the thought of visiting a mental health professional (stigma). Much work has to be done from the part of individuals in the society, and private and government institutions to eradicate or minimize stigma.

Our society has many actual and potential stress triggers capable of raising pressure in people's minds just as you highlighted. Psychotherapy can help people manage their emotions in the midst of these things. Remember, man is a meaning-making being.

Thanks for contributing.

Uyi168:
Very poor enlightenment..

There's been a lot of awareness creation about mental health in Nigeria. What do you suppose may be wrong with the message that may be causing Nigerians not to get it?

Is it the way it is delivered? Is it the channels of delivery? Is it the language of delivery? In your opinion, what could be the issue?

vickydankal:
I think Africans especially Nigerians are very quick in stigmatizing people, hence the fear for the word therapy or anything mental. It shows the level of our civilization and education. People who are depressed, heartbroken, suicidal thoughts, abuse drugs, addictions etc abroad go for therapy but here in Nigeria we leave everything for Man Of God.

How many pastors has been to therapy sessions or school there. They are doing excellently well with the little exposure they have, thank God for them but therapy is necessary. It doesn’t mean you are mad it means you are human who needs someone to help you balance mentally.

Thank you for the angle you brought in. Stigma, religious people filling in the gap etc.

With therapy, there is the ethics of confidentiality, privacy etc. Is it possible that potential users of therapy are not aware of these ethics? These days even, many private practitioners do not label their work spaces with words that can frighten potential visitors. Also, the advent of Virtual consultations (through online means: Zoom, WhatsApp video or audio call etc) has given potential patronage of Therapy a means to personally control their privacy. I agree that more work has to be done to dissuade people from stigmatizing people with mental health issues. And this work has to focus on both individually-driven stigmatization (people who project prejudice and discrimination at people with mental health issues), as well as system-driven stigmatization (that is, prejudice and discrimination from work places, public utilities etc).

As for religious persons filling in the gaps, I do not know the rate of successful help they offer. Therapy is a skilled process, whether it is talk therapy or medication-based therapy. Requisite training is important, and anyone can aspire to get these training if they so choose. Helping people with mental health issues, or existential issues that impact mental health can and should be done systematically.

A very important aspect of this discussion hovers around the question, “at what point should a person consider subscribing for therapy?”

Is it when bits of depression, bits of anxiety etc have all linked up to create a chaos in the minds of people?

I think that people do not have to wait till they are an emotional mess before seeking psychotherapy. Talk therapy helps people make meaning of how their thinking patterns is contributing to their emotional wellbeing. If unhelpful patterns are observed, the practitioner will collaborate with the client to shift perspectives.

Thank you for the contribution

luscioustrish:
Simply because majority of Nigerians know nothing about mental health and think it's madness

Hmmm!

There's been a lot of awareness creation about mental health in Nigeria. What do you suppose may be wrong with the message that may be causing Nigerians not to get it?

Is it the way it is delivered? Is it the channels of delivery? Is it the language of delivery? In your opinion, what could be the issue?

etrange:
I've seen someone who wanted to kill themselves cause of minor things like failing an exam and Nigerians on SN rained insults on them for being so weak minded and even called out their parents for bringing up such a spoilt child. However, the fact that someone decides to take his life cause of such a minor thing only suggests that such a person already has a high suicide tendency which could be as a result of many factors. The exam was just a trigger and anything else could also trigger it. Such a person needs help and not insults.

Nigerians are always quick to remind you that your problem is too little but they fail to realize that mental health has little to do with the immediate problem (this is just a trigger) but the state of mind of the individual. We take pride in being harsh.

This is a very insightful contribution. Thank you so much for sharing.

We Nigerian take pride in percieved resilience, and whip anyone who seems not to exhibit resilience levels that we have setup as up-to-par. Hmmm!

Thank you

yomi007k:
Because they are illiterates and educated illiterates.



Period!

Really? How do you mean?

Babacele:
Anything ' mental' in Nigeria means Madness. so the stigma is what is keeping people away. Abeg o..

Agreed, stigma. I would like us to unpack this 'Stigma' and understand the underlying issues. And then try to debunk them.

etrange:
Because Nigerians blame people for having mental health challenges. Even if you kill yourself, they'd still curse your dead body.

Really? People with mental health challenges are blamed for it?

Please what's the blame about?

What might be the most prevalent reason why people don't seek mental health care here in Naija? Please share your opinion。Thank you so much for participating

(A) But am not mad na!

(B) Let them not carry my gist far.

(C) I dont want them to hypnotize me

(D) Why do I need to pay a professional, when I can talk
to my friends.

(E) Therapy is for oyibo people.

(F) I can handle things myself.

When people are facing situations in their lives that put them in some level of stress or pressure, they often take up strategies to help them manage the situation. The situations can be positive or negative. These strategies have been called Coping strategies or mechanisms.

Coping strategies, may involve focusing on the situation, so as to manage it towards resolution. It may also involve focusing on the emotions that come up due to the situation.

On another level, coping strategies can include 'Confronting the issue', or 'Avoiding it'.

With coping strategies, there are those ones that are helpful, and there are those ones that are unhelpful.

Helpful coping strategies may include:

1. Seeking support, counseling.
2. Exercise or other forms of physical activity.
3. Relaxation through soothing music, massage, art & poetry etc.

Unhelpful coping strategies could include:

1. Risky behavior (extreme sport, high speed driving and other forms of adrenaline-high activities).
2. Escape or isolation from society.
3. Unhealthy soothing through over-eating, binge drinking, excessive use of social media. Etc. These often lead to dependence on what they consume.
4. Numbing: This is when soothing behaviors have degenerated and is used to mask the effects of stress. It includes use of drugs, binging, unhealthy eating etc.

When a person is experiencing emotional stress, seeking counseling, therapy and support is highly recommended. Other forms of coping strategies may only serve to sooth the situation (as in the case of helpful coping strategies) or make it fester (as in the case of unhelpful coping strategies). As a wise man once said, “You don't want to place a sticky plaster over an infected wound”.

Therapy deals with underlying issues.

#cyd_sessions
#counseling
#copingstrategies
#stickyplaster
#joyagain

Poor Communication Can Lead to Unhelpful Emotional Outcomes.

Helena and Michael are in the same recreational group for business owners and have become friendly.

Helena thinks Michael has great endurance for outdoor recreation, and goes ahead to compliment him.

“Hello Michael, I like how you do your exercises and still come out looking energetic, no fatigue.”

What Michael hears her say is, “I like how you do exercises and come out still looking like a stud.”

But then, Michael goes on to assume that Helena meant “exercises makes him look desirable; so, Helena might be attracted to him!”

Its been observed that there are 4 stages of communication:

1. What you think of saying
2. What you actually say
3. What the next person hears you say
4. What the next person assumes you mean.

When comprehension breaks down at any stage of the communication trail, misunderstandings can happen. And often, misunderstandings stir emotional outcomes.

Share your experiences with miscommunications that led to emotional outcomes. �

(The names used are fictional.)

#communication
#effectivecommunication
#comprehension
#emotionaloutcome
#cydsessions