₦airaland Forum

Homicidal mental illness

BigYash:
When you are broke do they consider you in anyway? You don’t expect me to now hustle,and after everything man go settling down with left over.. You just said they were with bad boys.. Do you even know the damage those bad boys did to them? Now you want to connect deeply to inherit problems that you didn’t start.For your information,you’re the only one connecting. Such ladies don’t connect one bar,they only pretend to get what they want from you. The day you stop giving them the benefit or when they have gotten enough of it,they will leave you by accusing you of what you know nothing about. Example is Churcha and TotoDecay. Like I said before,you are going to luarn

No one does those calculations in such matters.
Here's an example:
Go to a brothel and guys will be lined up waiting to bleep one girl while some others have no customers. No one stops to calculate that it is better to go with the no-customer one

Lindlady:
Overfeeding dey kill. Consequences of having everything you want provided by the government.

Has NOTHING to do with that, otherwize our fat cat corrupt politicians and Yahoo boys will be like that

BigYash:
The same reason girls don’t wanna settle with broke guys..
You will never understand.Dey there dey connect with ashawowo that will still go back fvcking some ,if not all of those she counted her body with. But since you don’t understand,trust me ,you gon luarn ..

Girls also fall in love with bad boys who they KNOW are up to no good, beat them up, and womanize. Matters of heart don't go by calculations

BigYash:
One of the reasons I see marriage for as just making kids venture this days.. na person when get over five body counts person wan dey call love of his life? If no be me disvirgin you,I no dey owe you or your papa anything.

I don't get you people.
What has body count have to do with the fact you connect deeply with someone on a level you know will never be possible with anyone else?

morgstreme:
This video clip was from 2018...it's FAKE!

A DSS former director confirmed it to Rufai Oseni on Arise tv...

Thanks a lot
I pity anybody who gets his news from Nairaland

morgstreme:
This video clip was from 2018...it's FAKE!

A DSS former director confirmed it on Arise tv...

Thank you very much

Nairaland has serious issues

Spandau:
So if you were in their shoes, you'd be acting uppity against your draconian boss. You do see work for oil company be that naah. Be making mouth everywhere

My friend, like I said, I bet u if for some reason he's returned there'd be even bigger celebration, with everyone making sure to be captured on camera so he'd see them - same thing they're doing for the in-comming boss. It's called eye-service, SYCHOPHANCY!

🤣Nothing wey person no go see😂

"My husband"🤣

mymadam:
😂

😅 Sycophants

Spandau:
That's the only thing you can say? It seems people don't like you where you work too.

Was there ANY indication they didn't like him b4 he resigned?? If ANY high govt official resigns I bet u same thing will happen including Tinubu. But meanwhile they'd be kissing his arse!

Ilamina:
it's cool to be curvy

Your husband will enjoy

Enjoy what? How's carrying about a load behind you a blessing??

Why do you think they're happiest in the world 7 years in a row?

Pure nonsense.
Most (ready-made) men end up simps and the wife ends up the dominant partner.
Many not-made men beat their wives constantly.

How is that a blessing?

MrBrownJay1, when time is no longer on your side...

vanbonattel:
Such marriage can work very well if the couple are committed.

OF COURSE! Very much so. Never mind people like guy I mentioned who say for marriage to last you must be totally in love and know each other for ten years!

If he's somehow brought back, they'll celebrate too. Hypocrites

.

Wow, another amazing prophecy!!

I like Tinubu
Replaces one Abubakar with an Ajayi
In your face!

Fineman2:
They are all beautiful

Which one be beautiful again

Acidosis:
Getting people's attention in your twenties has nothing to do with value. The mistake we make is assuming that the world revolves around sex-starved men and attention-seeking women.

I can't speak for all men but attention should really be a major red flag. I mean, why would you want what every other person wants? That can't be value.

The value of a married woman in her 40s or 50s should be seen mainly by her husband. Why would she want to drag attention with social media teenagers who are yet to see or know LIFE?

You may be right about child bearing and how a woman's body becomes less attractive, but that really relates to personal care or hygiene issues. More so, attractiveness to people who have been married for years differ from an outsider's view. Some of the things that irritate you are things they've grown to love. You can't understand, but it is what it is.

Moreover, declining attractiveness in your context applies to men too. Don't be carried away by sugar daddies' moves. We all know why women move close to these men. It has never been about attractiveness, good hygiene, or bedmatics. With the right amount of money, a 70 year old woman with poor hygiene will get the same result.

Your last point? Well, I can agree.

You miss my point. Obviously by "value" I mean the amount of opposite sex desiring the person. In that sense a twenties woman has a higher value than a fifties woman, while a fifties man has a higher value than a twenties man. There is a saying about this - see it below.

MrBrownJay1:
again, i have never said the word true nature.... i said who someone truly is. thats a big difference. but to take up on what you therefore asked :" is it possible to ascertain true nature of a person?" then i will answer:"OF COURSE IT IS, it just takes time and interactions. sadly, as i said earlier, the majority of the people who get married today are doing so for the wrong reason thus why they cant figure out who their spouse truly is.... and if it changes after marriage then who cares? when they change then YOU change with it too.... and if you have to divorce them because you cant accept his/her changes, then so be it.



proven wrong by whom? you? or proven wrong by what was done in the past?



yes thats my stand on the issue that hasnt been proven wrong by anyone... all you people that believe that because some women endured their "yeye useless abusive and failed" marriages, is a right way to be married, are certainly living in the past (like you want us all to do), and sadly, the past is the past.



FAILED ANALOGY!!!
what i said exactly IS... just because people in the past could live a great life without cellphones and internet, does NOT mean we should do the same today.... of course nobody will die if they dont have a cellphone or internet today, but they will be living IN THE PAST!



A) western marriages of the past are exactly the same as african marriages. all the marriage rites upon which African are getting married today (aka religious marriages) have been brought to you by these same western ideologies
B) our generation is well adjusted to the PRESENT, not the past... thus why many are divorcing today (rather than stay married at any cost, like in the past)
C) western/African marriages of the past were also quite fulfilling... so long as women were used as tools rather than an equal spouse; so long as domestic/physical/emotional abuse was accepted as the norm; so long as men/women knew their place in marriage; so long as people would rather die in silence instead of accepting infidelity; so long people remained married for eternity (because their religion forbad divorces)
D) btw there was nothing "right" when our forefathers were physically/emotionally abusing our mothers of the past; there was nothing "right" when children were raised to believe that women could be treated that way and these same children continued the vicious circle;
there was nothing "right" when mother couldnt leave their marriages because they had no education and even if they did have one, nobody would hire them anyway;

the sad part of it all is that you dont even understand what i am saying... i am talking about people who get married together because they truly care for one another and want to spend the rest of their natural life together and raise a family under these same conditions (there shouldnt be any other reason for people to get married TODAY), and certainly not driven by some yeye outside forces who are not gonna hold your marriage's hand (aka religion/family/society/friends). many people in the past got married for convenience, not because of the love they had for their partners, and as much as it was cool, one of the spouse (if not both) were suffering in that marriage by being married to someone they didnt care about nor loved (no wonder so many children were not raised properly). but then again, women back then were a simple tool to expand the family, and certainly not someone you needed to care about nor love. a wife in the past was just a walking womb that you could abuse/beat or treat like a slave in return for a warm family home because women couldnt even get good job and take care of their own selves so they were slaves to their husband after marriage... so again, i understand why people in the past got married and stayed married (even when they were not happy together), but today thats not only UNREALISTIC, thats damn right foolish (unless of course you solely do so because of the religious/family/social/peer pressures i talked about)

Wow, talk about someone living in lala land! I don't even know where to start.

How can you know the true nature of woman or man who is in his/her best behavior to get you to marry them??

People grow to love one another! In the process of having and raising children and solving mutual problems organic love develops.
Our mothers were NOT subjugated as you've been saying. In many, many cases they were the dominant partners!

Our well-adjusted generations come from those marriages you describe as no good,and we are more well-adjusted than drug-addled children of 'I love you" Western marriages.

You totally missed what I said about analogy. I mean, saying a marriage cannot last without initial love (which is ideal), is like saying a person will die without cell phone (which is ideal)

** By the way women are not equally "plygamous" (polyandrous) as you said. A woman wants to have children and "trap" ONE man there to help her raise them. She has a shorter window of attractiveness than a man to do this.

Acidosis:
Love can often be a conscious choice. If you find a woman who loves you deeply, give it time, and you may come to love her in return, even if it’s not to the same extent. No one is truly unlovable. When someone loves you deeply, they are willing to be whatever you need them to be. Too often, we fail to see the bigger picture and are easily influenced by material things and the arbitrary rules others create in their own world. Take, e.g., the irrational mindset some people have about short men, simply because society says unkind things. If we really think about it, apart from those senseless opinions, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being short.

That being said, it's often better for a man to be with a woman who loves him more. Considering the amount of attention women get from men, you'll be doing yourself a disservice by being with a woman you constantly need to convince or compete for against other suitors. This is the reality in the dating world. People wey dey date dey try. It is very easy to get a man to love you than have a woman love you hopelessly. Such women are rare. Rarity ALWAYS gives ultimate and more value.

BTW, I don't agree that a woman loses value due to childbearing. What does value in this context even mean?

When men say women shift their love and attention to the children, this usually only applies to women who were never deeply in love with their men. For a woman truly in love, her partner remains her priority. Any other thing, including children, are secondary.

Good write-up. First of all by women "lose value" as time passes and with childbearing, I mean (past a certain age) the older a woman gets the less men are attracted to her until no man even looks at her anymore. A woman that didn't love you when she was single in her twenties could be madly in love with you in her forties and single. As for childbearing, it makes most women's bodies less attractive the more kids they have. Those are just facts.
Also, the more you release inside a woman and she has children for you, the more likely she'd fall for you.
Also, you're inspired to be a better person and achieve more by a woman you love than by a woman who loves you as a "failure"!

MrBrownJay1:
you cant possibly compare the marriages of the past 100yrs with marriages of today.... back in the days, there was marriages of families and convenience... back in the days , women had to shut the fukc up and accept who their family sold them to... back in the days, women brought nothing but a hot coochie and cooking and cleaning skills to marriage... you cant possibly expect people today to be like (or do) what our ancestors did. thats in the past, stop living in the past and instead LIVE IN THE PRESENT!



the reason why there are so many divorces today is because of a few reasons:
A) because women are not invisible and voiceless any longer and they dont have to be stuck in loveless marriages like in the past.
B) because infidelity today is rampant and people rather divorce than be stuck with the wrong spouse
C) because women/men dont have to endure domestic violence any longer (like in the past)
D) because more and more people today dont care about what is written in holybooks (aka divorce is a sin)



EVERYBODY wants freedom, it all depends what freedom is to each and every individual. you think your "possible" future wife doesnt want the freedom to go fukc all the men she finds more desirable than you (and your now pot belly)? freedom goes both ways brotha.



where did i say "true nature"?



for centuries we've been abusing children under the guise of "punishment"
for centuries we've been misdiagnosing mental illness
for centuries women have been viewed as 2nd class citizen
for centuries we've been cutting trees and getting rid of forest
for centuries we've been producing greenhouse gases
for centuries we've been throwing plastic and garbage in the sea
for centuries we've been treating/understanding many medical issues the wrong way
... are you now claiming that because something was done a certain way for centuries, we shouldnt change today (even if it is better)?!

furthermore, times are changing... are you claiming that we should remain stuck in the past and not advance with time? in the past, couples didnt grow and evolve together; they didnt interact the right way; they didnt communicate the right way; they didnt function the right way; they didnt raise children the right way; they didnt view sex/intimacy/satisfaction the right way; etc... should we continue in these failed ways, simply because our forefathers managed it? what you are saying is a crazy as saying that because people use to have great lives without phones and internet in the past, we shouldnt use phones and internet today.... BWAAAAAAH!

Even more fallacies. First of all here's where you said true nature:
OR you marry someone because yu are attracted to his money/wealth (and not who he truly is).

Here's your thesis verbatim (which has been proven wrong):if a person doesnt love you (or you dont love them), you shodnt even consider them a serious BF/GF, let alone marrying them. nobody should ever go ahead of marrying someone who either A) doesnt love them or B) who they dont love. thats just a recipe for disaster. Such a marriage cannot last.

Your analogies and examples are non sequitous and disjointed. It is one thing to say that cell phones are good (nobody denies that), but quite another to say that people who don't use cell phones will die.

Another thing, what exactly is the purpose of marriage? Our well-adjusted generations came from those marriages you describe as no good, While dysfunctional Western families came from those 'I love you' marriages.
Our forefathers' marriages were quite fulfilling, lasted a lifetime and produced healthy well-adjusted children. But you're stuck on a system that resulted in broken homes and dysfunctional families and individuals!

Krismas, another one

MrBrownJay1:
... and here is where the problem lies. if you decide to marry someone for anything else than because you genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with this person, then no wonder this marriage will fail. if you marry someone because your church says he/she is the one (and not you) OR you parents chose someone for you (and not you) OR you marry someone because yu are attracted to his money/wealth (and not who he truly is) etc...then how can you genuinely think that this marriage will work?!? just because a few people manage to hang on to these yeye marriages doesnt not make these marriages right.



naturally polygamous is one issue, naturally looking for peace in ones life is another. having multiple wives aint PEACEFUL and as much as some men like living in chaotic surroundings, others dont.
also, there is a very SIMPLE and LOGICAL answer to that... the same reason why i could eat a whole cow in one night but i wont. its called SELF CONTROL!!! and sadly, a lot of people dont have self control. as a single man i can enjoy all the toto in the world from women of one night or two (even 10 different per day) but when i am in a r/ship where i am content/fulfilled with what my woman is bringing to my life, then why would i need more? thats the same as GLUTONERY... just because i can fukc 10 different girls a day doesnt mean i have to (even though some men do need it).
FURTHERMORE...any smart person knows that dealing with one wife is a handful therefore imagine dealing with 3/4 wives at the same time (to each their own). many foolish men dont understand that having money CAN cater financially for multiple wives but such money wont satisfy these women SEXUALLY/EMOTIONALLY. it takes a whole man to satisfy a woman sexually/financially/emotionally...the minute you cant give your whole to one woman because you have many other women to satisfy, then thats when your other women would be lacking (thus why many women in polygamous marriages go outside the marriage to seek satisfaction)



once you use these pressures to marry the 1st donkey that comes your way, then your union will fail, unless you continue being desperate to stay married due to these same pressures.

Wow, so many fallacies in just one post. Didn't
almost all our traditional marriages last for life? Wasn't marriage viewed as families joining rather than two individuals. Isn't rampant divorces a modern phenomenon that came in with "love"?

You say you can eat a whole cow in one night. You can't. Also, left to himself a young man wants more than anything else FREEDOM, including freedom to pursue a woman he finds particularly attractive. Only outside pressure will make him agree to be tied down to one woman. Also you're confusing being free to explore (polygamous nature) to marrying many women (polygamy).

You say "true nature". Is it possible to ascertain true nature of a person? Plus, people change.

Anyway, your thesis is wrong - proved wrong by centuries of marriages that lasted for life!

MrBrownJay1:
marrying someone that you love (and that loves you) is not perfection, thats the essence of marriage, aka finding someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your natural life, til death do you part in sickness and in health, whether poor or rich. sadly too many people today are marrying for the wrong reasons, and thereafter want to blame the marriage for it..

if a person doesnt love you (or you dont love them), you shodnt even consider them a serious BF/GF, let alone marrying them. nobody should ever go ahead of marrying someone who either A) doesnt love them or B) who they dont love. thats just a recipe for disaster. although marriage is a desperate move for many, thats certainly NOT the essence of marriage. too many people today are getting married due to RELIGIOUS/FAMILY/SOCIAL/PEER pressure and thereafter blame "the marriage" when it fails. the marriage was already doomed from the get go.

My friend stop living in lala land and enter the real world. MOST (if not all) people get married due to some measure of RELIGIOUS/FAMILY/SOCIAL/PEER pressure.
Otherwise WHY would a naturally polygamous young man (as almost all men are) want to tie himself down to one woman for life?? Can you answer that for us? Once you hit a certain age unbelievable pressure is directly and indirectly put on you to get married and you have to be really strong to resist such. And remember, in our traditional society no such thing as love. You meet the young lady's parents to ask for her and it was a major breach to meet the young lady b4 that!

Acidosis:
What if the person you love doesn’t love you back? It’s the same situation. When I say marry someone who is m a d l y in love with you, I’m not suggesting you marry someone you don’t love. Of course, you should love her too.

Well, that's perfection of course - loving someone who loves you back. There's even a popular song about how profound that is.
Problem is, that RARELY happens. People usually fall 4 someone who doesn't love them. So the question is: is it better for a man to marry someone he loves or someone he doesn't love, bearing in mind that as time passes and with childbearing, a woman loses some "value" and would love a man just for being there for her.