₦airaland Forum

There are several jokes that exist in the world. Some funny, some boring. List your top favorite jokes of all time

As the race for the Governorship election kicks off in few states of the country.

The Peoples Democratic Party will on Monday screen governorship aspirants from Bayelsa and Kogi States at their Abuja office.

A correspondent in Abuja observing the event reported that while aspirants from one state will be screened at the party secretariat at Wadata in Abuja,
aspirants from the other state will be screened at the party’s complex called Legacy at Maitama in Abuja.



Read more : https://www.micheallinks.com/2019/08/19/bayelsa-kogi-gov-aspirants-get-screened-by-pdp/

Real Madrid boss Zinedine Zidane who has not had a smooth relationship with his key player Wales player Gareth Bale has revealed that the player will not be leaving the club this season contrary to speculations that Bale was expected to join Chinese Super League club Jiangsu Suning in July.

Zidane made this known after he was reported to have said at the time that Bale’s departure would be a “good thing for everyone” before the Real blocked the move.

“It looked like he was leaving but now he is here and now I’m going to count on him, just like all the other players that are in the squad,” He said

“He has a contract, he’s an important player and I hope all the players want to make it difficult for me to pick the team.”
To read more click the link below.


https://www.micheallinks.com/2019/08/17/real-madrid-boss-zinedine-zidane-to-count-on-gareth-bale/

Well spoken. Funny enough Rochas didn't receive this kind of criticism on NL. From the post, they failed to realize that the action was prompted by NLC Imo state chapter and not the Governor. Or Perhaps, the Governor bribed them to make the allegations. Na wa.

Ace16:
I’ve watched how most of u run to comment thrash on any news on Ihedioha. This Nairaland is so full of dull pple who don’t think.
Who gets into any organization without 1st sanitizing d system before he takes step to move d state forward. I bet most of u talking thrash has never been to the state for once to see d mess d past governor made. D man has been on d seat for less than 2 months and u dull pple are castigating him, bt u cannot castigate d President who is still behaving like a newcomer.
His methods can never b d same with any governor out there. So leave him let him do his thing. Be d judge after his 4 years.
Hypocrisy reeks on dis Nairaland

Very true. He nailed it. What a country

Nukilia:
@Tolexander you make sense with this your comment

You just nailed it bro. Its needless anyone contesting the facts you beautifully presented. Ronaldo remains the best for proving himself in 3 different leagues unlike his rival Messi.

cr7lomo:
How can u call someone that is in one league and has refused to leave the greatest...u think it's easy to shine in another league...when Rivaldo left Barca, he joined Milan, and that was when Milan was Milan but he flopped ... when kaka left Milan , he joined Madrid and he flopped , when figo left the Spanish league and joined the Italian league, he flopped...when Beckham left man u and joined Madrid he dint live up to expectation... When ronaldinho left Barca for Milan , he flopped.... Bale is turning to a disaster in Spain unlike in England...di Maria was a waste in England... Sebastian veron was a disaster when he left Italy for England, so as shevchenko... So u can't guarantee that messi will excel in another league , messi can't excel in the national team ... Messi in the WC has only scored teams like Bosnia, Iran and Nigeria( half of his WC goals) ....but Ronaldo has excelled in 3diff league and has turned top scorer for these teams for over a decade

Noticed the same thing. looks amusing

positivelord:
LMAO...the whole thing look like photoshop

I supported Atiku but the post-election comment on Atiku not been able to deliver is true regardless of the rigging done by the APC

hollywater:
Please if you don't have anything meaniful to say,just back off.The election was rigged by INEC period. Civilized people in Abuja, Lagos, Port Harcourt and Enough voted for Atiku. Only the 200 naira beggars from north voted for Buhari.
Are you now trying to tell me that the poor beggars from north know anything about selling or not selling nnpc?

You said it all. No more addition.
This should be a lesson for other PDP aspirants in the future. I was for PDP but disappointed that the Man i voted for could not deliver the north.

Amarabae:
First of all, I want to congratulate President Buhari for his reelection ,
I didn't vote for him but at the end of the day, he won
That's one of the beauties of democracy!
Going through the results of the presidential election from the north, I can't help but admit that I am disappointed at the PDP presidential candidate Alhaji atiku abubakar.
1. Knowing fully well that there is a corruption tag hanging around you, why shouting "you will sell NNPC up and down "
What's the essence of the noise?
And about selling it, to whom?
Likely himself through a proxy and his friends,
That NNPC brouhaha depopularise him.
He should learn how to keep his mouth shut most times.
Does he know how many people lost their jobs when Nitel was sold,
Many Nigerians especially northerners were not comfortable with that selling of NNPC thing.
.
2. He didn't prepare well against rigging and malpractice.
This is Nigeria where elections comes with drama, his presidential campaign organization should have put in mechanism in place to counter that.
And BTW who was the campaign director?
Oh Saraki, who was more focused on retaining his senatorial seat to no avail,
Their whole planning was poor!
.
3. Atiku needs to ask himself why he was unpopular in the north?
I never knew that he was this unpopular,
Losing your polling unit to buhari is a big embarrassment please,
Let's be frank, Buhari smashed the northern votes,
We thought atiku will divide the northern votes, but what we saw was disheartening.
Look at south where his vice president aspirant, Peter Obinna came from, PDP won the highest number of votes in the south,
That means that Peter Obi delivered.
To my suprise, the PDP votes from South west was very impressive
What is Atiku excuse for the poor performance of PDP in the north from where he is from?
.
4. Dear Atiku,
I tried for you,
Supported you,
Voted for you
But hope you are aware, that the buhari you can't defeat, you joined hands in pushing him to aso rock in 2015?
When you were in APC, you left APC, ran back to PDP that you helped in removing from power and now you can't defeat APC and buhari.
Maybe it is karma fighting back!
Who knows!

.
Dear Atiku Abubakar
Accept the defeat in good faith
No need of going to court, it will be subjecting yourself to more ridicule.
You are still a billionaire.
Try again in 2023
But certainly NOT in PDP.
Thank you.
From Oriaku Amarachi

I agree with you. Well spoken

Puffy007:
Let us be sincere please and stop with all this Buhari's honesty and integrity bullshit.

You will find it hard to convince anyone on this base on the evidence of this past 4years. Buhari is as corrupt as they come.

Same goes for the North generally, they are as corrupt as any other tribe in the country, if not more, very hypocritical set of people.

Buhari is adored in the North because of his strong Islamic ideas. Atiku was rejected because he his liberal The North don't like liberal Muslims, they want people that can openly support and defend Islamic agenda like sharia law and Jihad. Buhari has over the years endeared himself to the Northerns through religion. Religion is the first language of the North, not integrity or corruption like you are suggesting.

I tell you. Unpredictable

UgwuAghachi:
Banking on votes from the south west to fuel your political ambition is a BAD INVESTMENT

As the 2019 election kicks off this weekend, political gladiators across the country try to round up their campaigns as stipulated by the electoral umpire: INEC. One of the politicians in Imo state. Imo state Governor Rochas Okorocha who vying for Orlu senatorial position has given an advice to the Igbos as regards the election on Saturday.

According to him,

“Some people, especially our brothers are campaigning now against president Buhari, saying he is Boko Haram and a herdsman, etc.

“You can remember in 2015, I was telling the Igbo, to cast their votes for Buhari because he would win with or without the votes of the Igbo.

“I was called all sorts of derogatory names. Some said I was going to Islamise the whole Igbo. Is Igbo land Islamised today?

“Igbo, today, are playing politics with the mindset of a trader, thinking only of the immediate benefits, unlike other tribes that are playing real politics.

“My people, listen to me and listen real good, whatever I tell you to do, do it as it will profit us. I’m telling you, today, that Buhari will win.

“On Saturday, if Igbo support Buhari and hewins, in 2023, Igbo will have the right to demand Igbo presidency. Those who love Igbo nation must vote for president Buhari because if we miss this chance, we may not get the presidency even by 2023, 2027 or 2031.

“The time is right for the Igbo nation to play the right politics, so as to have a clear chance by 2023.

“On Imo State governorship, the president advised that we all vote according to our conscience. Conscience in Igbo is ‘mee uche gi’, which translates to voting for Uche Nwosu. Nwosu is the only credible person amongst all those vying for the position. He has no dent or skeleton in his cupboard.



http://www.sopphiaafrica.com/2019/02/14/okorocha-vote-buhari-or-forget-igbo-presidency/

They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. The ex girlfriend of renowned Nigeria singer Wizkid recently showed her beauty in an amazing attire recently.

The beauty recently took to her Instagram page to share a photo and make-over video of herself.

She posted the photo and video while giving credits to everyone that worked on the stunning look in her caption. The post has attracted several reactions on her Instagram page since it was posted.


http://www.sopphiaafrica.com/2019/02/13/wizkids-ex-sophie-alakija-glows-in-native-attire/

How is the writer a mumu. because someone claims to be a saint and another is perceived as a thief regardless of whether he can do the job or not doesn't imply that the former may be the real hypocrite. If you still think the president is corrupt-free then you need a rethink. Let me leave you with this popular adage. "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you really are". Need I say more.

Sannisege:
You are a Mumu. Its because Atiku is corrupt, thats why he could not win APC primaries. APC cannot present a thief like Atiku as his presidential candidate. Only PDP can do such cos they have no morals or shame

You did a nice job in your list which is why OBJ said recently of him “Don’t cover up with sanctimonious veneer of bogus integrity, incorruptibility, uprightness, goodness and false figures and statistics, all of which are contrived to deceive, to cheat, to plunder and to destroy." DO not come telling us you are a saint when you obviously have skeletons in your cupboard.

SalamRushdie:
liar lair liar thief thief satan Satan

okay dullard I will remind many instances where you abused trust .

1 : You ensigned for the Nigerian Army knowing fully well that you are unqualified.

2. You betrayed trust when you set up an innocent Major Bamidele in 1983 when he came to inform of a coup plot he heard about not knowing you were the master mind ( see link below)

3 . You betrayed trust when you illegally ousted the democratic govt of Shehu Shagari based on lies you concocted even though you were sworn to protect the constitution and the govt.

4.You betrayed trust when you accepted to head the PTF which you knew to be unconstitutional !!!

5: You betrayed trust as an elder statesman when you encouraged your supporter to riot and kill innocent people when you lost the 2011 elections .

6: You betrayed trust when you contested the presidential elections based on perjury when you submitted affidavit about your school cert which you knew to false .

7. You betrayed trust when you clandestinely supported killer herdsmen to kill and maim thousand of Innocent Nigerians you were sworn to protect as commander in chief .

8: You betrayed trust when you allowed the massacre of over 1000 sleeping Shia men women and children by your army.

9: You betrayed trust when you embraced brazen bigotry and nepotism as policy for the dispensation of governance

10 . You betrayed trust by illegally attempting to remove the CJN when you clearly knew you had no such powers.

11: You are planning to further betray trust by rigging the coming elections

https://wikivisually.com/wiki/Daniel_Bamidele

What I don't understand with the APC supporters is why they fail to mention the gains achieved by the APC in their false claim of fighting corruption. Whether they like it or not. The PDP government of Obasanjo made strong effort in fighting corruption. An instance is the establishment of the EFCC and other related agencies.

The Goodluck administration came with the BVN. But most remarkable was the manner in which the past PDP administrations tried their own party members more than the opposition. Cases like Ibori, Gov. Alams of blessed memory, Bode George, The police IG that wasalso removed. Even Atiku was highly investigated both in Government and out of Government without any indictment.
But look at the present APC Government that claims to be fighting corruption. Virtually all those politicians accused of corruption are now living saints (in the words of uncle Oshimole) in their midst and someone will come and tell me they are fighting my corruption.

The PDP may not be perfect and may have their faults but when compared with the Government in power which we have seen in the last 3 and half years, they are far more better in terms of managing Security, Economy and corruption.

kennygee:
So it's better to sweep their sins under the carpet and bring them into APC?

I agree with you. She acted as though she was investigating them and not interviewing. At a point it seems it was only her voice we were hearing. Regardless of her bias officiating. The duo of Atiku/Obi gave an amazing performance. One thing is certain Atiku/Obi ticket come Feb 2019 is a goal. Win or lose next election no one can take it away from them that the Duo have what it takes to change the economy of the country.

Cletus77:
So true..
Her problem is that she talked too much and it started looking as if she had a problem with Atiku..
Why didn't she try this method with Buhari?
Atikuobi clearly saw this earlier..
God bless Atikuobi

As the year 2018 gradually winds down. It will be good for those hoping to advance their IT career to take a look at the various IT skills available out there and make a choice on which to embrace in 2019. If you are one of those still undecided on which skills to consider. We bring you top 10 IT areas to consider.

1.Software Development. The rise of software development does not seen to be going down any time soon. Since the 80s we have had several powerful programming languages that have made it possible to create customized software. In the 21st century new software are here to make computer friendly to anyone. You may consider learning programming languages like Visual Studio, Ruby, Python. The list goes on and on.

2. Web development. Without the websites, I bet you will not be looking at this write up now. The emergence of websites especially responsive websites has made the need for websites for every kind of device necessary. To make it easy there are now friendly applications known as Do-it-yourself which is geared towards helping those without programming skills create amazing websites. Such sites include wix.com, weebly. Gone are the days when you must learn programming or HTML. Now a novice can become a website designer. SO what are you waiting for.

3. Video production: Yes not only are video production among IT experts but they have made a huge progress in the film industry. With film making techniques such as special effects, visual effects, digital effects, Green effect, Crowd generation etc. The world of video making will not be complete without the video editors. You might want to consider using video editing software like Adobe After effects, Adobe Premiere for the experts. Beginners can begin with Windows movie maker.

4. Networking – Just like Websites, this particular IT specialization has made it possible for people to connect to any part of the world making the internet a global village. If you are curious as to how the networking of systems work. You might want to study networking. For those intending to go professional, you can start with CCNA. Networking which ranges from local area network to wide area network is highly sought after by many industries.

5. Computer Graphics: Graphics has been there for a long time. Fliers, banners, logos, brochure, calendars etc. All these are products of graphic design. With sophisticated graphic software like Corel draw, Photoshop, Macromedia Fireworks you can design any kind of graphic for clients.

6. Mobile Application Development: It is no longer news that mobile phones have taken over the internet. From recent research the percentage of mobile phone users have exceeded users of desktop and laptop users. This is not the case 10 years ago. The rise of mobile phones have made it very necessary for IT professionals and beginners to embrace mobile app development. With application development anyone can now develop mobile apps. Google play store is now flooded with various apps on daily basis. Following Mobile apps are website apps which are a replica of websites made mobile friendly. A web developer must take into cognizance the need to have the website mobile friendly. As earlier stated not all users will access the site through the computer, so the need for a mobile version of the website.

7. Database: It must be noted that usually Database and software works together. Every software applications has in one way or the other a database. This also applies to dynamic websites such e-commerce, portals, content management system. Learning database applications such as Oracle, sybase, SQL server, MY SQL are essential for database administrators. Beginners can start with basic database package such as Microsoft Access, SQL.

Having highlighted these seven IT areas, What are you waiting for. Rise up from your indecision and begin learning any of these and be rest assured you are on your way to becoming a sought after IT professional in 2019. Do you agree with our list.


https://technoblog.dynamickeystone.com/2018/12/31/top-7-it-skills-to-learn-in-2019/