₦airaland Forum

supersystemsng:
Someone you can share these ideas with and will expantiate them organize them and turn it into a book, for busy people, a story board writer can be helpful, they can collect your thoughts and write your book on your behalf.....bros you have rare wisdom...don't leave it to just Nairaland please

supersystemsng:
Men this is deep, ic an relate 100%, bros why are you on paid job..get a story board writer, writer a book...there's gold in these insights you're sharing..if you don't have time to write, we can hustle a story board writer, you communicate the idea, the writer writes, we sell ebook on Amazon and the hard copy everywhere, you can retire with these amazing mind of yours...this is the case 100%, can't be argued against...

supersystemsng:
This is real deep

Why do you think after 2 years of marriage they look depreciated,depressed and confused. It's because they have no single inclination or understanding of their bodies and sexuality how much more a man

NoToPile:
What about those that our African mothers system worked for ? what of those that actually turned out good. There are some people that the "run away from boys and sex is a sin " statement worked for. I believe it worked for some people.

I accept that our mums can go to the extreme anyway

I would educate my daughter about sex and also tell her to keep it till she's married.

DarkRebel69:
That explains the steep differential libido between male adults and female adults in the world today, and precisely what goads the popular misconception that men think more about sex than women do - an assertion that couldn't be more wrong.

It's an hypothesis of mine that both men and women used to be shameless, ultra-sexual animals, who frolicked beneath the sheets with whomever they wanted and whenever it tickled their bestial fancy. I theorize, too, that mileniums of "slut-shaming" have deadened the sensual carapace of the female folks, coercing them into a shell of sexual reticence, so that they're mandated to keep whatever sensual thoughts they might conceive of to themselves or risk being branded a slut.

It's a form of sexual natural selection, I think i.e. the more society "slut-shamed", the more females had to stifle their sexuality as way of calibrating their dance steps to the tune of the slut-shaming flute. But I find elation in the fact that the pattern is being deviated from, to some extent at least.

DarkRebel69:
Men who castigate single women who do not draw the reins on their sexuality and yet get into marriage with a virgin while expecting her to be as sexually dexterous as a Cherokee d'ass would be, are like HRs who want to employ a 22-year old with 35 years of working experience. Outrightly ridiculous.

Virginity? Pfft! It's only shallow and simple-minded individuals who would use something as triffling as the state of a woman's hymen as an index of her personality. Why do you think such metric only has firm rooting in African soil? Africans are leagues behind the rest of the world, so it shouldn't come as surprise that while countries in enlightened continents are making scientific in-roads and inventing cutting-edge technology, Nigerians are in a little corner of the world, squeaking like a family of rats and debating effusively over the tensile strength of a woman's hymen. Talk about grand misplacement of priorities.

Take for instance these two women:

I.) Woman A was born with a very low libido and maintaining her virginity until marriage would require little effort from her

II.) Woman B's libido on the other hand is on over-drive and it would require more effort and self-discipline on her part if she intends to keep her hymen in pristine form.

If Woman B, in two or three instances of blind lust, has sex with two different men, would we then say that makes woman A the better of the two?

I can't predict the future, but I can predict what my future self would want, and that is: a woman who can stimulate me mentally in many-sided ways, a woman who is of quiet and studious habits, who is beautiful and generous in those areas of the female anatomy that my lustful eyes have always found most appealing; a woman who can offer me adequate emotional buffer in those trying times when my wits and nerves fail me; a woman who is caring, loving, and who is a repository of worldly knowledge, and on whose wisdom I can rely on to serve as salutary and edifying influence on my kids.

Virginity does not make a woman have all those qualities I've listed out, and since I'm not one to rank exterior trivialities over inner qualities, I unapologetically say: "To hell with virginity".

DarkRebel69:
Sex is a biological activity, and when you begin to affix morality with it you're in essence attempting to superimpose a constraining cap on the course of nature. We might as well reason that "breathing" is a staple postulate for living but that "breathing too often" is an immoral avocation, since that's precisely the same ratiocination used to justify the demonisation of "promiscuous sex".

Another thing, who decides what is moral and what is immoral?

"Preserving her hymen for her husband"...? Don't you think you'd unwittingly be inculcating the notion in your daughters that their "hymen" is akin to a mere commodity, one that needs to be preserved up till the point of marriage, otherwise they risk venturing into marriage not as complete women but as "half-used chattel"?

DarkRebel69:
Who's the woman in the picture, the one in green dress?

DarkRebel69:
Now that you've laid it out in unambiguous terms your position is understood much better.

DarkRebel69:
I venture to say that religion is the root-cause of why so many African parents are obdurate prigs in re the issue of bequeathing sexual education to their female (and male) children.
When even a mention of the word "sex" in a typical Nigerian church stirs tension amongst the congregation, causing them to shift their buttocks on the pews in a fit of ''uncomfortability'' - as if to say the act of sex is not a natural phenomenon but some vile, alien, and physical manifestation of human degradation in the nth degree.

I think the problem that the OP talked about stems from the fact that we've afforded too much undue sacredness and reverence to something that's only a biological imperative, something that's arguably as mundane as the act of urination - no thanks again to religion and its attendant morass of arbitrary moral fiats.

Even you –dangotesmummy– are guilty in some way of the very misdemeanour you deplore, even though you do not realize it. In one of your spiels on this thread you used the phrase "serially promiscuous" - a phrase which bears the unmistaken undertone of derogation.
Tell me, if one were roundly intimated with the dangers of having multiple sexual partners and is also up-to-the-nose on the various prophylactic measures that significantly lessen the risks of contracting STDs, would it constitute a moral crime if such an individual – male or female – decides to be unsparing in the quantity of his/her sexual partners?

When you use the phrase "serially promiscuous" aka "olosho", you telegraph the idea that keeping multiple sexual partners is by itself a sin and morally unhealthy, and I don't see how that makes you any different from those prude African parents who sermonize to their daughters on the depravity of sex as a way of deterring their blithely naïve minds from indulging the act --- except of course that all their sermons prove in the long-run to be royally counter-productive.

babythug:
That he's a monarch doesn't absolve him of possible/potential domestic abuse! And his public appearance could be and will most likely be different from his persona at home/in private

After all one monarch in the south west who had issues with his wife even stooped to the level of using thugs on his estranged wife at the time. I think the lady ended up dead at the end of the day and the monarch was stripped of his throne

Just saying#

On the other hand though, I feel this separation is unprecedented and perhaps they should have used third party intervention to resolve the issues no matter what!

Both parties came together despite the public* back lash and from previous marriages they should have tried harder!

I salute* Zaynab's courage though, to walk away/ leave a marriage especially one so public takes a whole lot of guts. It'll be easier for the ooni to recover from the trauma!

Oduduwa must be completely shocked even in his grave!!!!

Na real wa!

safiaaASSHOLE:
What should we do with this info?



How is this info going to help me be rich like your son, dangote ?.

Tell me pls

ShawttySoFyne:
2face needs to find this lady a job

safiaaASSHOLE:
What should we do with this info?

supersystemsng:
Oh my God...May God help us raise good children, you know when ladies fall in love, nobody cans top them....what a terrible story...I hope to raise Goldy females and will talk to them like my father talked with me daily until i reached 11 years old...still building my life around the stuffs my dad thought me....

supersystemsng:
What an orgasm....


Fantastic viewpoint...

kimbraa:
I love the fact that you stated what you'd tell your girl-child.

First and foremost, you should know that there're mothers who had no education, came from very poor background and all they had was garbage in, garbage out. There're the crude parents you described in your first paragraph. So I don't blame them for their shortcomings 'cause people give what they have and not what they don't have.

Secondly, we have the educated and refined parents who know what to tell a girl-child and what not to but at the end of the day some of these kids still fall astray.

Obviously you won't be telling a 10yrs old sex education 'cause she may not grasp the whole concept while as you're waiting for the right time to, she may already be doing it under your nose.

Lastly, sex education is one of the most difficult conversation to have with one's child. It takes a lot for parents to do so.

agrovick:
Ko le sumi, ko le remi; ma fi jo pami. Vanilla

agrovick:
Ayam your guardian angel

agrovick:
Deleted

Africlegend:
U've really spoken well.

supersystemsng:
Very true i accept... which is why every man is first of all seen as a beast...

Dcholeric:
I was always having problems with my dad while I was living with him.
don't come back home 10pm+...cause I would have lock my gate.
don't bring girls to my house for sex.
don't bring guys and drinks to my house.
go get a job and stop depending on me for everything.
these are few of why we always quarrel.

then he will say I can't risk my whole family by leaving my gate open because you want to stay late night.
I can't risk my other children because you want to bring bad boys and drinks to my house which will leave my household vulnerable to theft, bad example, cultism ....
you can't bring girls to have sex in my house.. you are not married to any one of them and whatever problem that comes out of it will come to my house first ..
he will conclude by saying if you want to live the way you want, please leave my house or if you break any of these rules again and constitute nuisance in my house I will call the police ...
and he did call the police a couple of times admist heated arguments.....I was tired of always being the one to quarrel in my house so I obeyed most rules as patiently as I could and I found out I was living peacefully, it also became my habit everywhere I go (having to be more patient and calm), and yes it helped in my relationship with opposite sex.

I finally got my own apartment and guess what!...I couldn't misbehave the way would've want to...thanks to my dad....and moreover there is too much responsibility living alone..one can't just keep toying around.

she has to obey rules under her fathers house (excluding marital issues) or get her apartment.... if she wants to continue a toying with men...posting pics 24/7 on fb, no problem. but if she wants to be remain in her fathers and constitute nuisance by constant quarrelling then that is highly irresponsible considering her position and age.

pocohantas:
OP, your post makes it look like the main problem with her is her single status. If her attitude is really bad, then you people should talk to her without bringing marriage in. That way she is sure you guys are not being sentimental about it, or tying her whole existence to a man...

She needs to be changed as an individual, before marriage talk.