₦airaland Forum

Alfamann: Fear not against those that harm only the "usename" but fear the One that can kill your spirit. Haha.

*Shivering* where did this cold come from?

nnofaith: naah! never been a fan of the jewish god. was once a "slave" of the arabic god tho.

Mehn, that one is like the evil twin of the Jewish God.

Alfamann: Right on op. Right on.

The christians will now start praying to their new god, JeSoul, to bring hailstones on your head.

You dared reveal the truth about their god?!

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.

nnofaith: @dannyell.
you need jesus!

you need him the more. He's a great soccer player and you are a barcelona fan. He would do good in your team.

Lilimax: @OP, I suggest you stick to the recorded ones in the Bible for now..
Memorize them and apply it to your daily life before
searching out for the un-recorded ones.
It will save you a lot of stress from vague imaginations

The bible says "study to show thyself approved" i'm just obeying the "word of God"

Image123: i wasn't using a microphone, you've been scammed yet again by the deceitful devil. You need a savior.

A savior? What other savior exists apart from the great santa?
And the devil can't scam me, he is my servant.

@wordychap, why do you guys like lying? Your bible says "the Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David and he became ill."
and it later goes on to say
"On the seventh day, the child died"
it never said anything about allowing the devil to run rings around the boy.

ZACHIE: you and your senders are all insane

Take a chill pill dude and relax, I wasn't sent by anyone. I do the sending.

emmyk: This dude is mad

Good christian behaviour. Can you prove that those events never happened?

* once, Jesus was playing a football match with his friends. He scored a goal and out came the angels singing "worthy worthy is the lamb that has scored"
* At the age of 2 while he was still a young chap, he single-handedly beat up a roman soldier and the heavens were opened and a voice came saying "this is my beloved son in whom i am well pleased"
* while young Jesus was still developing his powers, he had a stomach upset, the fart that followed caused a mini earth quake, an hurricane swept through Israel and the dead were resurrected because they couldn't bear the odour in their grave.

Jesus did a lot of miracles that if they were ever recorded, the world wouldn't contain them. Well , here are some miracles that did not make it into the bible.

* An insane man stepped on his excreta and he became whole
* Once, Jesus defecated on dead soil, it became fertile and started producing fruits (the apples are extremely delicious)
* while he was still learning carpentry from his father, they had to meet a deadline set by Herod. Jesus just spoke a word and amazing furnitures handcrafted by angels fell from the sky
* once, a lion chased him and from his sweat came out fire-breathing dragons that consumed the lion. They set out to conquer the world but they were quickly thrown into the bottomless pit.

Image123: Thank You for saving me, thank You my Lord.
Thank You for saving me, thank You my Lord.

*grabs the microphone*
..................
This kind God oo, i neva see ur type oo, this kind God oo, na to dey punish small children na im u sabi!! This kind God oo

rodeo0070: ***Just thinking loud***
Wait o! What about those destroyed in the days of Noah? Don't they have kids too? I mean Babies. Are the kids and Babies sinful too? Or are they simply taken also by their parents sin?

Also, when God was about to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah, he never thought about the innocent babies (they were destroyed for the sins of their fathers).

Can any Christian answer this? (Numbers 14:1-35)

And also can you explain God's actions from verse 12 - 23.
Summary
* Israelites rebel
* God comes down and decides to kill them all save Moses (he plans to start a new race/nation with Moses)
* Moses calms him down and tells him to consider what the Egyptians would say
* He calms down and decides not to kill them but promises that those who witnessed his miraculous signs in Egypt would die and not get any place in the promised land
* finally, he punishes the children for the "sins" of their fathers (if you consider grumbling to be a sin)

And also can you explain God's actions from verse 12 - 23.
Summary
* Israelites rebel
* God comes down and decides to kill them all save Moses (he plans to start a new race/nation with Moses)
* Moses calms him down and tells him to consider what the Egyptians would say
* He calms down and decides not to kill them but promises that those who witnessed his miraculous signs in Egypt would die and not get any place in the promised land
* finally, he punishes the children for the "sins" of their fathers (if you consider grumbling to be a sin)

@Lease, could you please check Numbers 14:1-35.
Verse 33 says "your children will be sheperds here for forty years,suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the desert"
.........................,..
Could you be so kind as to explain what God did there?

ekenedegreat: U will believe him in hellfire.

Believe in him in what way?....That he is great at torturing people for the sins of their fathers or what?
And what makes you so sure that you are safe from this hellfire? You know he changes his mind every two minutes.

musKeeto: Meet Image123roll.. Nairaland's most miserable Christian, 1st son of tpia...

I don't think he is miserable but there must be a reason why that title was bestowed on him.

inurmind: Do you need a god to tell you homosexuality is likewise repulsive?

I'm not in support of homosexuality either. It is not only repulsive, it is also unnatural. Sometimes, I begin to wonder if the Christians are right afterall and the world truly is coming to an end.

Image123: what is the question again, imagine answering all jamb questions correctly on this thread and tell me what your jamb score will be?

I don't understand your post, could you kindly rephrase?

^^^ Is that your answer to the question? Seems you guys just like to attack this dude or did he by any means chase you in your dreams?

[quote author= inurmind]What really makes bestiality wrong?[/quote]There is nothing wrong with it. Infact we should all start sleeping with animals, why? Because they are readily available and always willing. Like seriously, do you need a God to tell you that sleeping with animals is repulsive?

I am an agnostic and I think that things like homosexuality, beastiality, paedophilia, necrophilia and the likes are against the advancement of the human race and are mental conditions. I mean, what exactly will prompt an healthy able bodied man to leave a beautiful woman (an homosapien like him) to focus on a dog if he still has a functioning brain?

^^^ You contradicted yourself a few times. In one part of your post you indicated that God's word can be changed by man's will and in another part you are giving the notion that God's word cannot be changed (which is it?)
in another part, you said that God didn't create evil but your bible disagrees with you, Isaiah 45:7 proves that your God created evil.

ooman: yahweh dey see you oooo

Abeg no invoke that name for here ooo. Na play i dey play oo

Logicboy03: So illegitimate babies should be killed?

You see, that's why you need the spirit of the twisting tiger to discern scriptures. The baby wasn't killed, the baby's soul was only transferred to the body of Solomon (remember legitimate f.ucking).

Probably because the baby was illegitimate. You know God works in mysterious ways and his ways are not our ways. Probably Solomon (born through legitimate and consensual f.ucking) was the reincarnation of the first baby.

I guess "tango" is also a religion now.

Atheism isn't just a religion, it is the only religion and it has been approved by the true GOD.
....................
We are all atheists whether we like it or not (we were born without any belief whatsoever) If I believe in the almighty power of Krishna but you do not believe in him then you are an atheist also.

^^^ Funny comment and great cop-out.
Comparing law and grace like seriously (then why was the old testament added to your bible- for propagating the gospel of tithing right?). Your bible says God will never change so why does he have a different behaviour during the period that the law was in effect and the period that grace was in effect?

^^^ So God cannot stop evil without eliminating freewill, then where is the truth in saying God can do all things?
And you are saying he has emotions! God has emotions like anger, fear etc etc
what makes him different from a man? And if God didn't put evil in satan, then who put it (you can't tell me that the devil just decided one day to become evil)? Who imbued the devil with beauty beyond human comprehension that led to his pride and downfall? And finally, if the devil has freewill, why has God condemned him already?

^^^ My point exactly. @Kambo, is there any explanation for why Lucifer (a "perfect" creation) became imperfect. All the bible gives is

"and then imperfection was found in him"

how are we sure that God did not put this imperfection in him? Because it seems like everything had been planned from the beginning and the dudes whole life has been spelled out for him (even if the devil guy wanted to repent, he'll be unable to because your God does not want that to happen) it just feels like a movie and everything plays out the way the director wants it. If the devil cannot repent, then freewill is an illusion.

#1. Elisha and Elijah's Abilty To Summon Bears, Split Rivers with Dirty Laundry

Elijah and Elisha were an epic miracle-producing tag team in their time (sort of like if Superman had a younger protege named "Duperman". Elijah, after a life spent raising the dead and calling down fire to smite heathen prophets, goes out like this:

11 As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind.
12 Elisha saw this and cried out, “My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!” And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his garment and tore it in two.

13 Elisha then picked up Elijah’s cloak that had fallen from him and went back and stood on the bank of the Jordan.
14 He took the cloak that had fallen from Elijah and struck the water with it. “Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?” he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over.

That's 2 Kings 2: 11-14 where God, deciding that waiting thousands of years for someone so incredibly badass as Elijah to die would be too long, just plucked him from the ground and up through the pearly gates while he was still alive. And since God likes to make those rare public appearances count for something, he stages the whole thing in a cool-ass flaming chariot.

Elisha, now that his name would no longer be confused with anyone else, found that he could reach his full potential. Not to be outdone by the whole "whirlwind" thing, he uses Elijah's coat to casually split a river in half. That's right, something that was a huge deal for Charleton Heston's Moses was accomplished using only the powers that had rubbed off on a piece of Elijah's dirty laundry. How could Elisha, who was to be Elijah's successor, possibly top that?

When confronted by a gang of smartass kids, he summoned two bears to attack them. Yep, that'll do it.

If we could do that ...
We'd pretty much rule the world. Unlike Moses and Aaron, Elijah and Elisha didn't have those ridiculous "staff" things holding them back. These guys were basically plugged into The Matrix here, and could do anything they wanted whether the laws of physics were cool with it or not.

The thing is, we'd settle for any one of their powers by itself; the flaming, flying chariot for instance. Or just the ability to summon bears at will. Holy crap, there's like five situations a day where we'd like to do that.



But throw it all in, including calling down fire from the sky and controlling water? We wouldn't just be stopping criminals, we'd be stopping crime. You want to rob a bank? Well you'd better have a suit that's fireproof, waterproof and freaking bear proof. Multiple bear proof, in fact.

The Downside:
Well, for Elijah, the answer is quite obviously "none," considering that if he hadn't gotten a flaming ride up to heaven, he'd presumably still be alive today. We're not seeing a downside.

The Bible doesn't describe exactly how Elisha died, only that his last recorded act was telling the king that he was a slowpoke. We wonder if that might not be why it was his last recorded act.


Read more: here