₦airaland Forum

Multi wife family is common in Nigeria. Muslims are allowed to marry up to four wives, while some christians tend to marry more than one wife too. Though a man who claim to be a christian cant definitely do a church wedding with them all (his wives), but they may opt for a traditional marriage. In some cases, there is fierce rivalry among the wives and they tend to do whatever it takes to get the favour of their husband and also be in his good books. It is expected that the younger wives gives the senior wife her due respect. In some cases too, the senior wife will even be the one to pick a younger wife for the husband. Well, i guess it suit some while it doesnt suit others. Some men also tend to impregnate a mistress and she might end up being one of his wives. It happens in other partS of Africa too, but i dont definitely support it.

WHY NOW sistawoman? Why revealing it? well some of it is true sha, because i had used that trick at one time or the other if i want to play a guy. Sometimes, i even have to use one of my phones to secretly dial the main one he knows and i will just press the silent key and pretend as if i am actually receiving an emergency call. Yeah! We tease but not because of the money but because we enjoy the attention too.

sistawoman:
* There is always an emergency call that comes in right before you are about to get the toto. Just pay attention to the call she made 20 mins before the emergency. We have code words so that we know when to make up an emergency. For instance, if i call my girlfriend and say the word "traffic" she knows to call back in 20 minutes with an "emergency.

* Lots of petting and teasing but no penetraton.

I couldnt stop laughing and holding my tummy as i was reading the letter bellow when i accidentally knocked off a vase and it fell on my feet, now it is swollen and i will need to get it massaged for the swelling to go down. This letter is damn funny! shikena!


@reuben abati
At school, July 10, 1978

My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Bose.

I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul. The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the wind vane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you. I went out to sea in my dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H20 and you in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants.

As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, nine hundred and seven eight, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room. The conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realize the gargantuan nature of my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, a Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'D become an orphan. In fact I'D kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Bose, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey. At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put together let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God's time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you. I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.

The attached form, which has become brownish with age, is itself a study in youthful naivety. It contains such questions as what is your name? Age? Do you have a boyfriend? If yes, please state why? If no, please explain? Do you love me? If no, state why. If yes, doxology. What is your hobby? Which is your favorite food? Mother's occupation? Father's occupation? Are you from a polygamous home? Is your father rich and handsome? Is your mummy also a paragon of beauty like you? What do your parents want their son-in-law to become in life?

I could not stop laughing. Imagine the kind of things we did as small boys. Asking a girl to fill a form! The questions and the idea of it strike me, in retrospect as plainly stupid but at the time, writing such letters to unsuspecting girls was the centre of our world. I confess that I was a consultant in the matter. All my friends wanted me to help them write their love letters. And whereas they succeeded with their letters, my own letters never brought any results.

This particular one (I must have written over 30) was never sent. What happened I recall was that there was a change of strategy. The consensus was that I should speak to the girl directly. I was scared! My friends insisted, however. I was coached for days without end. Whenever we wanted to put theory to practice, my heart would beat so fast that I became tongue-tied and I'D develop instant fever. One day, I finally found the courage to do it. It was a disaster. I went up to the girl, sweating profusely:

"Excuse, I want to tell you something" (this took at least 10 minutes)

"Yes"

"I think I am in love with you. I want the two of us to, (this took not less than 20 minutes, the sentence was completed with a sign, indicating boy-girl relationship)

"No, I don't want," the girl replied.

"Why now?" (Another five minutes)

"I don't know"

"okay, thank you." (Less than one minute And I took to my heels!Couldn’t help but share this masterpiece with you.

I think the problem is from the editor of SUN NEWSPAPER who should have made sure that the ladies they use as their page 3 girls are good enough. They dont just have to use anyone to grace their page 3 column. Moreso, i believe there are some real models on the page who just wanted to use the medium to get the attention of clients in the modelling world for some modelling jobs.

Hello fellow nairalanders,

      Can you share what it is that you think is the strongest/best feature about your body. As for me, there is more than one feature i like but i will prefer to go for my smile and dentition. A lot of people had told me that i portray a kind of innocence whenever i smile. This is a big compliment to me. Lest i forget, an older lady friend made me to become aware about this feature of mine about several years ago, and since then, i had been able to use it to my advantage. So over to you all. What do you think is the strongest/best feature about yourself?

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The mobile phone market went gaga over the NOKIA N95 when it newly came out because it created a lot of stir among its users. Like they said, it is the definition of optimal performance. 5 mega pixels, DVD like quality footage. Carl Zeiss optics. You can acess your music, access your emails plus advanced web browsing and GPS mapping. Upload instantly to FLICKR, download movie in a heartbeat. NOKIA is just da best!

jayon:
Bleep u and your fcukin daughter , as ugly as u are, u tinkin someone like me can bet on u suckaz

Mind your language. Everyone has his or own opinion. It isnt fair for u to come on this forum to insult anyone.

wavemasta:
Another virgin thread, meant to suggest that non virgins are less than human. I wonder if the poster is mr perfect himself, people like him give good guys a bad name, guys who love their woman for who they are, and unconditionally. Poster keep searching, so gbo! Don't marry. Listen to what your "mummy" told you. Imagine a grown ass man like you having the liver to post this. If you like, don't learn how to love unconditionally. Na u go suffer.
Crap

TRUE TALK

HR.hotness, i think it is just better if u simply ignore some guys that had been replying as if they have no brain! What has heartbreak got to do with this thread?

I havent actually used gold from Kaduna but i must say Dubai gold is good 'cos i once bought one from there. Never mind the price, as long as it has a good quality.

I prefer wearing trousers as i feel more comfy in them. I hardly ever wear skirts.

The author of this thread almost infuriated me with this topic. Why generalise? What's the big deal in being a single mother. What you dont understand is that every woman has a choice to make concerning her life. She knows how best it would suit her to live it and i dont think she ever plan or dream of raising her kids alone. Circumstances might have warranted it so it is understandable. I am not saying it is the ideal thing to be a single mum but pls caution yourself next time when it comes to this sensitive issue. ok!

Being married is good and ideal but it is not the ultimate as far as i am concerned. MY SINCERE OPINION!

I sincerely believe that it is better to leave this guy and move on with your life, knowing fully well that with time, say maybe 1-3 years' time, you will get over the pain, the disappointment this guy threw your way, RATHER than to hold on to him, marry him and thereby experiencing a life of painful memories and hurtful reminder that someone else has his first child. My genuine advise is this--- LIFE GOES ON!

Most times, men are not worth dying for. IT IS THE PLAIN TRUTH!!!!!!!!

That is an exaggerated house price. A decent and fully furnished 2 bedroom house in Manchester is between £450--£550 per month, which is the equivalent of between N106,200 and N129,800. So how did u arrive at that price?

love is an invisible and totally complete emotional force, like a magnet, that is very strong. stronger than a dragon's claws. it moves and shakes the entire humanity. everyone hungers for it. everyone wants to feel it or to experience it. but not everyone has ever felt it.

Sometimes, i look at this thing they call marriage and believe me, i wonder if it is worth all those trouble. I think it is better for her to be confrontational with her inlaws. To me, marriage is not by force. In this part of the world where i live in, it isnt a do or die affair like the way Nigerians feel it is. That's why i always like to be independent. I dont just like the idea of some inlaws treating another person like shit, all in the name of being married. I will rather prefer to be a single mother, than accept it. I once had a friend in Nigeria who couldnt continue enduring all what her inlaws had been doing to her, especially her mother-in-law. Guess what she did one day, she got a nice plank, locked the door and flogged her mother-in-law till she begged and promised never to interfere with her life again. Of course, she knew she wasnt going back to her matrimonial home anymore. Good riddance to bad rubbish! It is quite unfortunate that deejnr is going through all this. I wish her all the best in whatever decision she decides to take. If she ever needs a place to stay to get away from all the madness, she can always get across to me at anytime (that's if she is in England).

Pastor Chris Okotie is now married for the second time to Stephanie Henshaw. bBelow is the interview culled from Daily Sun.


Why did it take you so long to re-marry?
(Pauses) My life is a catalogue of divine situations that are predicated on the plans of Almighty God for Nigeria and for the Body of Christ in Nigeria; so I’m not like most people who do what they want whenever they want. I have to do what I am told to do when I’m told to do it because I am a man under authority and so it’s part of the divine equation.

When did you and Tina separate?
1998.

You’ve been romantically linked, by a couple of magazine, to various women and none eventually made it to the altar with you. What’s the attraction for Stephanie?
First and foremost, the tabloids do not determine what is going on in my life. What people perceive, you know, my public personae, many times create the wrong impression but marriage is a walk and not a work and the Bible says two cannot walk together, that is, take the same steps except there is agreement.

And for Stephanie and I, the first agreement is with God and the second is between the two of is. So I believe that she is the one the Lord has always set aside for me and it was just a matter of time for me to discover that reality.

How long have you courted?
Effectively, about seven years. I’ve known her for 19 years.

Really?
Yes, I’ve known her for 19 years, but we became close and began to walk closer from about 1999.

If you were to describe her in a short sentence, what would you say?
She is the embodiment of the epitome of beauty and spirituality.

If I should ask her attraction to you, what would she probably say?
She would tell you that Pastor Chris is a God-fearing man and is very kind and generous.

How did you propose to her?
Will you marry me? I would like to marry you.

Was it over a candle-lit dinner or on a highway?
Well, it’s not a one-time thing because I’ve been asking her to marry me for a long time and she wouldn’t accept my proposal until not too long ago. I thank God for that.

When she did not, what was her until reason?
She was not particularly certain whether it was what God wanted for her. She knew I cared a great deal about her but she didn’t want me to marry her just because I loved her. She wanted me to marry her only if the Lord accedes to it. So I had a situation where I had to get the Lord to persuade her that He is a part of this arrangement.

How did you do it? Did you bribe God? Can God be bribed? (General laughter).
I work for Him and as I said, my life is a catalogue of ordinations and He didn’t speak until He was ready to speak and you cannot coax God to say anything when He doesn’t want to say it or do anything when He doesn’t want to do it. I think at the right time, He made it abundantly clear to her. He had told me from the beginning but she wanted Him to speak to her directly and He did.

How old is she?
She’s 38.

And how old are you now?
Fifty.

Is she involved in pastoral work too?
Not at all! She’s my wife exclusively.

What’s her background, as per discipline?
Let me just talk about her generally so that it sums that up. You know that she is the daughter of the Henshaw family. Her grand mum, who was wife to one of the previous Obongs of Calabar, brought her up in the palace. And she attended her school there, then IMT, Enugu. That’s basically it. Right now, she’s attending the university of the conjugal relationship, trying to acquire the information that is necessary or that will augment or augur well for domestic stability and equilibrium and that is the tutelage that she has been sitting under for a while.

Has she been married before?
(Pause) Yes!

With kids?
Yes, she has three children.
You are like a shepherd who has decided to take from among your flock. What feeling does this decision give you? Is it a case of Okotie and Stephanie the beloved as in Jesus and John the beloved?
(Laughter) well, she’s been my friend as I said, for 19 years. When I met her, she was just a teenager and love is a positive force for good and I guess that a lot of times, people do not really appreciate what love is but let me tell you something about love. When Jesus was on the cross, a Roman soldier pierced his side and out came two elements: water and blood indicating to us that there are two dimensions to a man’s life.

There is the water dimension and there is the blood dimension. Water is transparent, something you can see through. Blood is not; it is thicker than water. In the life of a man, there are two dimensions. People who are close to him: his parents or even his friends, they know about his water dimension. There are things you can observe, but his blood dimensions are things that are revealed. A lot of people know about Jesus. They hear His name.

They know He is a healer. They know He was from Jerusalem, but the mystery of what makes Him, only the church knows. So, we in the church know both His blood dimensions and His water dimensions, but the world only knows His water dimensions.

Stephanie knows both my water and my blood dimensions because she is the closest person to me on earth today and through experience and time, I’ve been able to reveal things about myself to her. That is why it was difficult for her to say yes because she has come to appreciate my spiritual responsibility and as a friend; she doesn’t want me to make a mistake in the side of God, which further endears her to me so in that context, she’s the only person I can marry.

You are rated among the few debonair pastors in Nigeria. How did you cope with such a status without being trapped by any woman for so long?
I think that is wisdom. The word of God creates the well of understanding and wisdom for the believer and particularly, the teacher of the word of God and the grace of God is the divine ennoblement that keeps us and establishes the will of God for our lives. I can only tell you that God has been very merciful to me and has been very gracious to me. And because he had already set aside a particular woman for me, knowing my own particular reeds and my peculiar needs, she was able to get us to navigate the convulsions of the man-woman relationship, the labyrinths of his complexities to such a place where I was able to recognize the particular woman that God has put for me and come to love her dearly. So, bottomline has been the grace of God.

You’ve chosen a wife from the Efik stock. Were you trapped by the legendary Calabar dishes or what?
(Prolonged laughter) All men love because the Bible teaches us that men love food and there is no doubt about it that many will be influenced by the expertise in that department of any woman. But no, that’s not it. You know, when people talk in the world, people say they have a soulmate, trying to define a certain soulish connectivity, but Stephanie is not a soulmate to me. She is a wombmate. That is like the matrix because the word in the New Testament that is translated for brethren is a Greek word. That describes us as being born by the same womb. It is the closest affinity in the relationship that you can have in the physical between two people.

That is the way I see her. I feel that both of us were conceived in the womb of divine destiny and that it was just a matter of time before the arm of Almighty God by a coincidence of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit will bring us to a place where our parts will intersect and it did that many years ago and my life has never been the same.

What’s the best dish she prepares for you?
She does everything well. I like Nigerian food. I like Okro soup. I like egusi. I like Oha soup. I like edikang ikong. I like vegetable soup and she is the best cook that I know.

he is true man of God