₦airaland Forum

Vikkie14:
Seconded.

tosyne2much:
During Christmas, different people visit you for different reasons especially if you are a youth. These are the categories of people that are most likely to visit you on Christmas day

1. The one whose main aim of visitation is just to swim in round of sekks (Boyfriend & Girlfriend things)** if I hear say na Christ dem dey celebrate **

2. The one who will come to your house very early to see if the cooking exercise has taken place. If it has not, he/she will promise to come back or ask you to flash him/her when it is ready

3. The ones who will visit you only to satisfy their stomach. After eating they will chill a bit and off they go

4. The one who will visit you and tell you they are not at your place only to eat. They will ask for Gulder, Star and other alcoholic drinks

5. The ones whose target is to eat your meat. They are not actually hungry but will demand for food. After serving them, they will eat just 2-3 tablespoonful and eat meat cos that is their target

6. The ones who will come to your house and start eating in a hurry 'cos they are still going somewhere else to eat

7. The ones who will visit you and start tasking you for money. They will ask you to celebrate christmas for them ( wetin remain again after dem don chop na) )

8. The ones whom you can't even recall the last time they visited you. They will just scroll in like the prodigal son

Written by- Tosyne2much

Feel Free To Add Yours

Merry Christmas Nairalanders

grayht:
Islam " A failed religion"

"Quote me if am wrong"

starlingleanets:
End time Thread.

PerfumeRepublik:
Exactly what I was thinking

OneNaira6:
To be honest, I agree it has religious tone but it also have political undertone. Think about it, BH became an unbearable force when buhari lost. When the army had a hand over BH and was defeating them, their own people (north and it's leaders) started accusing the leader of the military at that time (ihejirika) for killing their people senseless. Almost took him to court for human rights abuse. Months later after the accusations and constant verbal attacks, ihejirika left. Immediately doing so, BH attacks increased and overpowering the military. Ironically enough, the people that forced GEJ to get rid of the man that curbed BH anf had them by their balls, turn around and start accusing him of not doing anything.
Likewise the same way when the power sector of that county was improving, the north belittled and accused the man that was the minister at that time for corruption. The man leaves and that sector falls; the same north turns around and accused GEJ of being "incompetent" on that aspect as well.

As I've many times, everything going wrong in that county has a political undertone and I believe majority of it has the northern people and their leaders hands all over it. I bet my entire savings on that

Zoharariel:
Fellow Nairalanders, in my opinion, the following groups are the driving force that makes Nairaland fun and worthwhile. This thread was not in anyway created to malign any Nairalander, so please, do not take it personal.

1.) The Confusionists: These are people in the Religion Section with funny threads & comments. They create threads like - "Are You Sure Jesus Is Coming Back", "Good Morning Satan", World War 3 starts on December 22"

Members of this group: SonofIssachar, SonofLucifer, OLAADEGBU, highyo, SterlingTowers, clean2.

2.) The PDP Minions: These folks are simply incorrigible and are never exhausted from defending blindly, the PDP statesmen especially Reverend J. They have never, and will never see anything wrong with Reverend J's mode of Governance. If you create a thread backed up with genuine source, detailing Reverend J's misappropriation of public funds, Incompetence & Cluelessness, they will fight you with everything at their disposal, raining all sorts of insults on you & even your family. They always have a way of blaming the APC for Nigeria's present woes.

Members of this group: Ola6, Rossike, Truckpusher,
Babyosisi, collynzo23; theassassin, jmaine,
idumuose, Sunnybobo3, joehannibal, Sincere9gerian, BlackTechnology, LeOstrich, OLADD, biafranqueen, Tomakint, Mogidi, Jmaine, Jamace, Atlwireless, Anonimi, Sunnybobo, Customized13, Opiaoku, Petrov10, gramci, Taharqa, Iamodenigbo; Arysexy, Descartes, Gh0stFreak, Shizzlestar, ujoinme, rozayx5, chukwudi44, wombraiders,mudraker, bishopjuice, ghostfacekiller, chiefjusticefuk; firefire, datolee, bloodykiller, ichidodo, ratiken, dozzybaba, phockphockman, longeria, anonimi, aljharem, aryzgreat, publisher, brownlord, iconize, rigarmortis, Descartes, pointb, pazienza, OKDNigeria, stebell, brokenTV, longeria, rozayx5, whitetechnology, Billyonaire, BackDatAssUp.

3.) The Igbo vs Yoruba Factions: These folks are mainly in the Political Section and tribal e-war is their divine calling. An Igbo e-warrior searches for a thread detailing how 2 to 3Yoruba men got arrested by the SARS or Police for being in possession of 5Human Heads[For Rituals], and then, the Igbo e-warrior creates a thread insulting all the lineage of Awolowo & the entire Yoruba race tagging them Ritualists. It doesn't end there, a Yoruba e-warrior retaliates by creating a thread backed up with a link either from Sahara Reporters or Premium Times confirming the arrest of 8 Igbo men arrested by the SARS for Armed Robbery & Child Molestation. The Yoruba e-warrior tags all Igbo Armed Robbers, then the bashing begins with all kinds of vulgar words fired from Left, Right & Center. Awolowo & Ojukwu don suffer for these people hand. I must admit that I used to be part of this group.

Members of this group: axortedbabe, Begonia, mrvocalprowess, mayapop, homesteady, daisy34, FireFire, thunderrider, AJINATU, ibedun, PentiumPro, OrlandoOwoh, ChrisOD, diamondpaul, meforyou1, knowledge9000, Descartes, rozayx5, new2020,

4.) The Progressives: These are the most reasonable set of Nairalanders. They are mostly misconstrued & erroneously accused by the PDP Minions of peddling lies against Reverend J's Government. They tell the truth as it is without minding whose Ox is Gored. They are mostly apprehensive of how the Country is being governed like a "Baba Ijebu Kiosk" by some Kleptomaniacs whose only vision for Nigeria is to continue enslaving the masses & depleting the Federal Reserve like the Ozone Layer, but I am convinced that members of this group will jubilate & celebrate with several bottles of Moet & Chandon by February 15, 2015 when their dream shall manifest. Well, I do not know what their dream is, so don't ask me.

Members of this group: omenka, egift, caseless, NgeneUkwenu cleverly, Obiagelli, Berem, Iligunboy, Donphilopus, Keneking, Mogidi, NgeneUkwenu, Barcarnista, Obiagelli, Demdem, GenBuhari, Kelsoft, Donphilopus, Koboko69, Arresa, Caseless, Gbawe MichaelSokoto, gbawe, Abagworo, OrlandoOwoh
, Berem, Jomoh, Egift, Arewafederation, Soroptimist, Keneking, Pendy79,Neenar, Desola, MizMyColi, Horus, Whitecat007, keneking, Lakpalakpa, ShehuAba, Rawani, Tribaleast, Olaaderin, Soroptimist, Mynd44, , Nduchucks, Lacasa, Pendy79, Omerta, Ilugunboy, Naptu2, Aussie, Joseph1013, Olayinka8793, MalcoImX, PassingShot, mayoroflagos, shymexx, OrlandoOwoh.

5.) The Nairaland Machine Guns: These are the "Gboromideleru's" and their stock in trade is going about every thread, monitoring & insulting Nairalanders who are fond of passing derogatory remarks about Tonto Dikeh, Linda Ikeji, Patience Jonathan, Reverend J & even Barack Obama. They serve as mouth pieces for anyone insulted on Nairaland e.g Stop mocking Patience Jonathan; can your own Mother compete with her in English Speaking?

Members of this group: daisy34, JUMIACONSUL, homesteady, lokito, felixtare, bruno419, talktimi.

6.) The Stomach Infrastructure Bloggers: These are the usual set of annoying bloggers that ventured into blogging business simply because Linda Ikeji bought & displayed her tear-rubber Range Rover. They usually lure Magas to their blogs by pasting incomplete stories on NL while directing you to visit their blogs for the complete part of the stories. The celebrity section is their domain and they create threads like "Maheeda Goes Completely Nude", Kim Kardashian Butt Is Exposed, "Tiwa Savage Is Pregnant" - Before nko, If Folly Coker fire her congo with something wey long & bend like banana, she no go get pregnant? Ask T-Billz if na true or not.

Members of this group: Mensnshshs, ToyozzieTohBad, e.t.c

7.) The Pharaohic Mods: You wonder if these Mods were recruited from Egypt because they derive maximum pleasure in banning Nairalanders unnecessary. If you make a mistake of insulting or even opposing any of their comments, then be ready to serve a minimum of 2days ban in addition to having your post/thread hidden or deleted without any concrete reason. I have just finished serving a 2day-ban simply because I said something nasty about a PDP Minion's mother but I wonder if these Mods are aware of how many times my Mother, Father & entire Lineage have been insulted here on Nairaland without any punishment meted out to the culprits.

Members of this group: Lemme not mention any name because dem fit delete my moniker.

8.) The Elitists: These are the most respectable Nairalanders whose domain is strictly the Car Talk Section. They conduct themselves with so much decorum all the time and are never arrogant or proud in administering solutions to their fellow Nairalanders Automotive Problems. I have never seen any of them indulging in tribal e-wars.

Members of this group: GAZZUZZ, CityNG, Siena, abatically, Ikenna351, lomomike, CarXus, yungboss, shagatti, sooperrescue.

9.) The Iyalode's (Countess) of Nairaland: These are prominent female Nairalanders that are known virtually in most of the Sections on Nairaland. Their attention is usually drawn to most threads by their fellow Nairaland requesting their contributions from their wealth of knowledge because they are intelligent and have answers to most questions.

Members of this group: MizMyColi, missmossy, Elantracey, Ishilove, Kachisbarbie, NgeneUkwenu, Berem, AfricanApple, Romanciella, farano.

10.) The Sex Starved Maniacs: These are mainly found in the Romance & Sexuality Sections. You can easily tell from their comment & threads that the last time they had sex was 5 years ago and they try by all means to getting the attention of cute female Nairalanders by always stalking & quoting them. They derive joy in creating threads like "Nairaland Most Beautiful Ladies" just for them to get noticed.

Members of this group: I do believe you know them.

11.) The Learners: These are primarily found in the Romance Section. While some of them derive joy in taking part in Nairaland's Beauty Peagent, others create silly & annoying threads about irrelevant issues such as "I Had Sex Last Nyte, Am I Still A Virgin?", I Am Still In Love With My Ex, What Should I Do?". They browse most of all the Male profiles of Nairalanders, looking for cute guyz with pink or red lips to seduce & date while forgetting so soon that the murderers of Cynthia Osokogu[The Facebook Girl That Got Raped & Murdered In A Hotel Room In Festac] were also very cute with red lips.

Members of this group: Just visit the Romance Section.

11.) The Political Rahabs: Well, I guess these set of folks are on Nairaland simply because of the "Likes", "Shares" & the attention they get. 1 minute, they're in support of Buhari & the APC, the next minute, they start singing praises of Reverend J & the PDP. Most of them are real politicians disguising themselves with fake monikers on Nairaland. BTW, in case you're wondering what Rahab means, just google the profession of BiBlical Rahab.

Members of this group: cramjones.

13.) The Commander In Chief: This fellow is the Alfa & Omega of Nairaland - Our very own "Oga At The Top" whose primary role is to oversee & manage all the activities of Nairaland.

Well, I do not know much about him personally but I do owe him an eternal gratitude for this online portal called Nairaland, being an Ambivert[75% Introvert & 25%Extrovert], I would never have learnt the true definition of Social Networking. Nairaland has become my Blood Tonic and I got so addicted, I had to deactivate my facebook account.

Director of this group: seun

Conclusion: I hereby fortify myself with the Nuclear Armor of God which comprises of; The Helmet of Obatala, The Garment of Amadioha, The Belt of Jesus, The Turban of Mohammed[Yes - this will be wrapped over the Helmet], The Leather Pants[Pata] of Bhudha, The Sword of Ogun Lakaye-Oshimale, The Necklace of Krishna, The Shoes of Orunmila and the Impenetrable Bubble of The Eck - Yes against all attacks & arrows that may be fired at me as a result of this thread - Amen!

OkikiOluwa1:
thunder faya ya blokos!
Last Bullet
Sai Buhari, 2015.

MarieSucre:
Woow. good news. something positive in this year of negativity.

lomaxx:
Too many questions. Too few answers.