₦airaland Forum

[quote author=baby_123]You and Dayo are extremists. No one is out to get you.

In case you missed where the OP said the kids have testified against him. Am sure all the charges and all that interview/testimony the kids gave have been recorded and kept for potential future purposes. Or do you think a court or family court is somehwere, where no records are kept?[/quote]What coherent testimony can a 7yr old child give aside what mommy tells them?

DID daddy shout at you? YES,
DID you feel scared? YES,
Were you terrified? YES,
Do you feel like crying YES,
Do you feel mommy is a nice person YES,
Do you like Mommy or Daddy more (Keep in mind mommy just gave her some candy this morning)

[quote author=baby_123]So extreme! Each rape case is investigated and anyone can know if a girl was raped. She would be torn inside, and semen will probably be found.

No one would fire you just on the words of a co-worker.

You being accused of molestation by your baby mama wouldn't be taken at face value either.

PS, stop picking random strangers. If you are Hot, find a LovePeddler house if your state has them or fly to vegas.[/quote]--While the rappe case is being investigated where would the guy be? Sheraton Hotels? Yes We had sex so semenn would be found so how do we say if it was consensual or forced? Laws nowadays you dont even have to use a weapon,

-Co-worker issue? Many have been fired for such. obviously you are an employer or all those business women you no be employee, all these cash madam on this section self

--That you held your sons genit--als wont land you in jail? Just dont find out.

Bleep random strangers potential for wahala,
Bleep your girlfriend she later hates you confirmed wahala,,
Get married? No sex again. Cos married women usually stop sex after marriage and kids,
Go ashi joint triple wahala

DAMN WHAT CAN A MAN DO?

- You picked a girl up in the club, had drinks, danced, had fun, went home together, had consensual sex, He didnt call her the following day, She is pissed and calls the cops that he Date-rapped her?

-Your girlfriend who feels bitter might report that she was rapedd, How do you prove that she was the one who yanked off her clothes and was riding you all night when it wasnt recorded on camera, He said she said, Benefit of doubt to the woman in most cases.

- Your co worker you say Hey Megan you are looking great your attire fits your figure perfectly. SHe smiles and feels flattered on Monday on Thursday same comment she calls HR that you made sexuallyy suggestive comments towards her. PINK SHEET next.

- You hold your 3yr old sons geni-tals to pee, your angry baby momma calls the cop that you are handling his diiiccckk. They ask you did you touch his diicckk? you say YES BANG JAIL here we come and a registered child offender for life.

Y'all dont understand what it means to be a black MAN IN AMERICA

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Bottom line....His Ex is trying to destroy his relationship with his children and not taking action is NOT the right play.[/quote]I cant say if its the right choice but can say its one of the SAFEST

Better SAFE than right.

You dont know the risks of being a MAN in America

Do you know how many guys picked a girl up in the club had consensual sex, He didnt call her the following day, She is pissed and calls the cops that he Date-rapped her?

[quote author=baby_123]Being cheap and trying to save her can cost him his freedom. She wants to put him away, and she will if he keeps ignoring. Should it so happen that there is one advocate prosecutor who hears of the case, then he is in deeper trouble. At least if they see he is fighting the charges, they will not be too quick to take it out of family court and press criminal charges. Child and spousal abuse is a real offense and not taken lightly. I wouldn't advise my own brother to go down like that. If she is lying, she certainly does not deserve and consideration at all. Him avoiding it all just implies that there is an element of truth. As it stands he has probably been denied visitation rights.[/quote]But if he doesnt see them isnt it easier?

At least you cant accuse a man in New York or rappingg a child in Florida?

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Sigh!

Dayo just answered why nothing came out of that accusation. . . .it is a silly, childish allegation. Who doesn't have wine in their refrigerator? Even the judge has wine in his refrigerator....expensive ones sef. It's not like the wine was in their milk gallon and they coulda mistakenly drank it. So kini big deal?!!

Look, no one is saying the woman can't talk and talk and talk, it is her mouth, she can do whatever she wants with it. . .as long as the courts haven't taken any measures based on what she says, DUDE IS OKAY!!!

She keeps running to HER LAWYER with these allegations. . .yet nothing has come of them because he knows it is stupid but he isn't gonna tell her that. How can he charge her $350/hr if he does that?!! [/quote]This is what another poster wrote

Ujujoan: I don't know you tell me. Where I come from, such things like beer are actually kept away from young children . . . It's called child care. Any responsible father should know that!

What makes you think there isnt a law that states something like that, Just because everyone ignores it doesnt mean you cant go to jail for it

https://www.nairaland.com/1159663/should-he-fight-custody-kids/2#13807411

[quote author=baby_123]It costs money to go to court, but why attach your name to such a record? If there is an over enthusiastic prosecutor in that county who is an advocate, the prosecutor can take up the case and file criminal charges against the man. That is when he will know the true meaning of lawyer fees. This one he is running away from is small beans. Then it would be out of the woman's hands and she would be too scared to get involved or tell the truth. He can go to jail for almost 20yrs based on the children's recorded testimony alone. So at the end of the day he can lose it all. Sometimes being cheap is not the best. A clean name is beTter than saving money. If she is found to be lying, she will go to prison and he will get custody. She is an adult, let her face the repercussions. His silence is implied acceptance of the charges by the way.[/quote]The woman has shown her hand that she wants to Bleep him up, She hasnt made a case yet ut she definitely wont hesitate to make one. So why not just stay away till the kids are old enough to stand up for themselves and say "Mom you are lying he didnt do this.." instead of toddlers who just nod and hug their mom while DADDY goes to jail

jidegirl12: Okay I hear you .... But isn't that info supposed to be confidential with the HR , so how will the parents know?..... A man wrongly accused of rape , it'll be written in his file if ; there wasn't evidence or its proven without a reasonable doubt .... just saying

A child rape , wife battery or rape case usually filters into the community and the man would already be judged in the court of public opinion even when acquitted some people would still view him with suspicion and he would never be able to get back to his former life.

Just because he wants to build a relationship with his children

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Dayo nowhere does it say the guy will be instantly jailed, automatically loses his job and all the other bad things envisioned. . .which are the point being argued.

Anything we do, especially when it isn't planned will change our lives! The divorce itself is already affecting lives, it is already causing tension! The wife has already filed a RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM! Ins't that already calling his character into question?! So the false Allegations aren't bringing anything new to the table.

This is the part where we should be focused on.[/quote]While all those investigations are going on what do you think would be happening to the man? If he works in a construction site or oil rig where he rarely comes in contact with women and kids he might keep his job but no way he keeps a school principal, driver or any job that has to do with kids.

Upon accusation he is arrested, he would be released on bail by Bond, he would be going for court hearing regularly for years possibly.

SO how many people would he tell that "the child rape case against me in 2003 was actually dismissed so your kids are free to come play at my house"?

Child support lets say $1000 per month. Lawyer fees $300/hour on a case that might go on for several years cause more bitterness send the woman to jail and children to foster care etc

I think the man has taken the smart option when the kids are 13 and above old enough to think for themselves they would adjust.

I have seen several cases of kids manipulated by their mom while young but grew old to hate their mom and realize the truth

Let any married woman in the house tell us they dont have wine, beer, Baileys Irish cream etc in their fridge, So why havent they gotten rid of it or called cops on their husband

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Lmao!!!! Why do people think I am living in la la land.

Okay back to the matter at hand. . .[size=14pt]where false accusation have not been made[/size].[/quote]

Woged2005: There was also a visitation order in place with drop off and pick up location. But the wife formed the habit of rushing to her lawyer to file allegations of abuse/ neglect each time the kids came back from their dad's house. One was an allegation by the wife that the dad kept alcoholic wine in his refrigerator at the reach of the kids during visitation. though that was not investigated. The mediator said these types of allegations made the man to restrain himself.
What I don't understand is why her husband doesn't have his own lawyer to take on the other lawyer heads on? He's very educated and has a stable job. I may have to hands off from this case.

jidegirl12: ..... Pink sheet! Dayo you no go kill me with laugh.

But you actually know that the criminal record check sheet is not just black and white... It's either it checks No or Yes with please call blah blah for details..... I've hired ex-convicts ( HR only will hire with my final say) when I called the RCMP it was just a [b]minor offenc[/b]e.... I've hired a ex- drug addict and so on ,

speaking for myself if I call for this guy, the RCMP will definitely say he's just been investigated for child molestation accused by his wife....

they go in details about any offence.... I usually ask the officer his opinion, puts me on hold ( look in his files)and advice me ... they're not daft too you know? Sh it happens , especially when it's Domestic.

In conclusion it's obvious most men will rather avoid all these problem..... Man go do fine boy na

How many employers do you think would want to go through the investgation to determine who was right and who was wrong and the circumstance .

The law says you should hire felons but in reality how many felons get jobs after serving time?

We know its not black and white but how many employers, general public would want to hear the grey area before passing judgment?

If a man was WRONGLY accused of child rape, and he drives a school bus how many people here would want to put their daughters on such bus. Wrong or right no be my pikin head we go test

The job he applied for there are many similarly qualified people who can do it so why with a person with a 20% chance of being a child rapist

Go try boarding a flight and say your name is Jide Bin Lade. Explain perfectly that you are from Iperu Remo and not Afghanistan and see how many people would understand

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]David the courts. ..the social workers, Child Protection Services are all aware that these kinda accusations can crop up during a custody battle....They know what to look for. They won't just jump the gun based on the child's word alone. Some of the pamphlets they have in CPS deal with this issue. ...

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE ACCUSED OF CHILD ABUSE DURING A CUSTODY CASE.

HOW TO PROETECT YOURSELF FROM FALSE ACCUSATION OF CHILD ABUSE DURING A CUSTODY CASE.

Copy one of those and you will be surprised what comes up. They know!! And they know how to handle it and handling it does not involve a knee jerk reaction. They might be cautious and suspend or introduce supervised visits but they won't automatically condemn the accused.

I mean the man who didn't molest the kids when they were with him will suddenly start when they aren't. ...it is sooooo suspect only an idiot will wanna go that route if it isn't true.[/quote]I did exactly what you suggested and the below was what I found

I googled "WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE ACCUSED OF CHILD ABUSE DURING A CUSTODY CASE" and found the below

CHILD CUSTODY – WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?

[size=18pt]An allegation of child sexual abuse, even a false one, will change your life[/size]. This
is particularly true in a child custody case. [size=14pt]Your character will be called
into question and you will sense tension between you and your friends, family
and co-workers[/size]. Your child will also be negatively impacted. Your child may
have to undergo physical and psychological examinations, which can be traumatic
for a child. Unfortunately, false allegations of sexual abuse are raised in
some child custody cases in an effort to gain an advantage. This creates a
terrible situation for the child, particularly where children are coached to
make false allegations against their parents, which can result in parent
alienation.

When allegations of sexual abuse are made in a child custody case, the court may
appoint a mental health professional to help decide how to handle the case.
Also, grandparents, other family members, neighbors, caregivers, teachers, and
others who have a relationship with the child may be interviewed. A multitude
of information must be gathered and evaluated to determine whether allegations
of sexual abuse are meritorious.

http://hynumlaw.com/uncategorized/child-custody-what-to-do-when-you-have-been-accused-of-child-sexual-abuse/

So assume the man works in the school as a teacher, school bus driver principal etc do you think he would hold on the job for even 5mins even if its a mad woman who accused him

Sincere 9gerian: Aren't you ashamed of your hypocritical show of shame on this forum? It is unfortunate that rather than bow your heads in shame, some of you still have the audacity to spew rubbish.

My friend, if you dont know, patching of road is patching of road anywhere, irrespective of whether it is done on highway or street road. Patching of road is a temporary measure to make a road motorable.

Patching of a road is acceptable based on the volume of traffic the road takes. You cant patch an Interstate road when its seriously damaged and theres nothing wrong patching an estate road where only light vehicles pass

bjcole: D guy shoud do more 4 the sake of the kids, this woman is witch, she is wicked but the man should go extra mile for his children, i think thats d arguments of d women even though they failed to admit one of their own is a devil.

Enlighten us how he can do more for the kids other than paying his child support promptly without going to JAIL

Or do you think a woman who reports that her ex husband has beer in his fridge would hesitate to throw him in jail?

jidegirl12: Losing his job? I thot it's employers discretion whether to or not hirer a previously investigated person or convict ?

Any little charge that might lead to a felony or misdemeanor first thing is a call from HR and a very sympathetic white lady telling you "we are sorry we know you are a good man and couldn't have done that but the company policy states blah bah blah.." PINK SHEET

A child molestation charge, rapppe charge or wife battery charge first thing police do is to take the man away simple pending investigation. No argument

Then if the claims are impossible to throw away at first hearing he hires a lawyer, goes before a judge, tagged a flight risk(cos they believe he might run away), added to the mans reputation in the society. By the time the hearing is due, the woman can claim she is still traumatized and cant speak yet. After several months when she is ready to speak

He is now found innocent and the wife a liar but he has lost his job, been labelled a child molester, wife beater, rappisst etc just to be there for his kids

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Haba guys...where he picks the kids is what is being debated not where he spends time with them.

The children go to school, no? He can pick them up there after school and drop them off the next morning or wherever the visitation schedule dictates. It's not such a Herculean task as y'all are making it. Some even have a family member pick the children up...as long as the restraining order does not include the children, daddy can use whatever legal means available to him to see his children.

The way things are looking right now, it is obvious this isn't about self preservation. Dad is acting out of spite, he has lumped the kids with their mom and whatever he is feeling for her has spilled on them.....which is so so sad and getting sadder because it's starting to look like this is the default thought process/behavior for men. )[/quote]He picks them from school and when he drops them back the wife asks did your dad hug you tight ? Did his hand brush your bum ? Did you feel any sexualll feelings

Yes to any of those mean JAIL

jidegirl12: Dayo it's called baby steps.... if this way is first established with no hazzle reported by the kids( they'll be interviewed by cfs)... then they can start going home with Daddy after inspection by children services ....

you see Dayo , this is just clearly a no brainer situation, the guy just doesn't care and the lady is ready to finish him cos he stopped paying.

In America if a woman wants to finish you she already has the laws on her side so if this woman is bent on sending him to jail the man has to be extra careful

The guy cares but the wife is evil

jidegirl12: Dayo lemme explain clearly to you..... even tho you're already one way traffic on this issue I will still explain.

There are endless avenues this man could reach his kids if he made any effort which is obvious he doesn't care.

Go to Burger King , chunky cheese, restaurants on weekends ..... I'm not kidding you'd see 2-3 ( paired) stone faced adults and kids running around ..... That's to show the divorce rate in North America ..... men dropping off their kids on Sundays at their mom's with their girlfriends on the passengers seat .. you know things like that.... ( I don't go around looking , I know these people so it's just an example )

Stop making excuses for a grown up adults that possibly knows how to steal oyinbo's money untraceable .... he sure knows what to do... crazy ex or not... Leave story.

If the only place a man can meet his kids is resticted to chucke cheese Mcdonalds etc why would he ever bother?

So he cant take the kids out have a discussion with them without the witch reporting that he has gone to molest them by hugging his daughters too tight

When the kids grow they would find their father and people like the OP would be around to tell the kids their dad cared but their evil mom made it bad

What does it add to you to include chaffs like QPR, Reading, Aston Villa in the league when you can reduce it and increase the quality

Quality over quantity

davidylan: and pray how do the kids get there? By magic? I asked you... do you expect that each time he needs to see his kids he needs to get a lawyer to enfore a court order? At what cost? How much is he making a month?

You still didnt address the question... what if she accuses him of sexually molesting his daughter? What should he do?

Go to jail become a registered child molester, lose his job, life and 5yrs later he is acquitted by a jury that it was just a jealous wife who fabricated the story

Ujujoan: I don't get it . . . did you NOT see the part about visitation pick-up venues

You'll say anything to justify your claim huh ??

Ok, you win!

He picks them up and return them to face charges of beer in fridge not that he is feeding them beer. or trash the phone he bought for them?

jidegirl12: Yepa! Now it's the kids fault.... Wonders shall never end!

Its their wicked mothers fault and when the kids grow older they would see that its the witch they call a mother thats at fault

Ujujoan: And yet we wonder why some women become vindictive overnight . . .
This one will soon become somebody's father and husband (that's if he's not already). . . SMH!

You still havent told us what more the man can do without putting his life in danger?

WHats the use when the man is taken to jail just becasue he wants to be a father to his children, would he be dad from jail? At least he is giving his Child support I bet a lot of men wont even bother

The prepaid line he gave the kids the wife trashed.

She reports that he has beer in his fridge, So those that drink beer at home where do they keep it if not in the fridge?

The man is doing the best he can given the circumstance

If they meet outside in a mall and he cant take the children out because the witch of a wife would report how hugging his own daughters is child abuse

debosky: How many shots did Demba Ba have? How many goals did he score? He must be useless. #repeattillfade.

See sentiments. . . .if the same argument was made about Torres, you'd say Torres' job is to score and he didn't. Hypocrisy.

If Torres has 2 goals in 170mins of football I am certain he wont be booed

Demba Ba played the meanest defence in the league at the Britanica and had a shot saved, How did he get the shot by using his body strenght against the last defender, he created 2 100% chance for his teammates which the opposing keeper thwarted.

Thats what a striker is needed for. Not putting hands on waist like a pregnant woman

Some of these PDP trolls are just retardeed

So you would compare a road connecting Apapa port with the volume of traffic (One of the most important roads in the country) to just neighbourhood Navy town roads?

I think I am in support of the man in this case cos it seems the woman is all out to get him and if he tries too hard he might land in Jail

Woged2005: Yes ma you are absolutely correct. God Bless you.

I asked the mediator, she said the restraining order did not include the children. There was also a visitation order in place with drop off and pick up location. But the wife formed the habit of rushing to her lawyer to file allegations of abuse/ neglect each time the kids came back from their dad's house. One was an allegation by the wife that the dad kept alcoholic wine in his refrigerator at the reach of the kids during visitation. though that was not investigated. The mediator said these types of allegations made the man to restrain himself. The mediator said the man bought the kids a prepaid contact phone, which his wife has turned off or thrown away. So he's scared of his wife's determined efforts to either have locked up or have a costly legal fight. Now you can see my anger with my own cousin. If true, these actions are uncalled for..

Who would read the bolded and still want to keep contact and risk going to jail?

How many men have alcoholic beverage in their fridge? Is that now a reason to make such complaint?

The woman is a witch period

How many goals was scored by Chelsea players today?

So Demba Ba should have scored the own goal instead of Walters?

People have given you the needed answers and start getting used to it. There was a reason CHelsea fans are contented with Demba Bas display in this game.

Demba Ba 170 mins of play in Chelsea 2 goals, 1 ruled offside You have done well far better than the dud

When some people think they are smart and others are stupidd.

Who remembers the story about everyone killing their parents and the dog went to hide his own and helped kill others.

We are killing corrupt leaders in the country, We didnt find any from our tribe or those from our tribe escaped and others didnt.