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2legit2qwt: @dayo
I used an example of a 15 year old marriage and I also said, along with the length of marriage, other factors should be considered.

If the woman has been spending her money on jeweleries, I wanna believe that's gonna be worth something too and from my understanding, all properties shared are normally declared to the judge during the divorce.

Who gets what can be determined from how much each party invested. The current finacial status should also be considered, I don't think the judge will/should give more to a reckless spender than a wise investor.

Even if she didn't put in a lot of money, she must have done so in other ways.

It goes back again to the other factors I stated, a 5 year marriage should probably be dissolved without sharing properties except whatever is owned individually.

I think the only thing that should be considered is what each individual contributed to the asset in question.

You think a judge would be sharing the Lace and Jacquard the woman bought in 1998?

Whats the worth of the Satin lace or Damask bought for 100k in 1998 nowadays?

Sharing should be based on contribution only

Let the woman go with her jewelries and clothes she bought and the man go with the house and land he bought plus the ragged shirt and trousers

[quote author=baby_123]The woman who was spending her money on clothes and jewelry? Well i didnt grow up in such an environment. And even then, it must have been an agreement between husband and wife. I am sure a wife contributes to her family purse in more ways than one. So this example really doesnt follow or work in real life settings. If the man asks her to keep her money, she should now pay for his decision in the end.[/quote]Throw it open here and ask how many women contribute to develomental things in the house.

there was a thread on this family section where one woman came to complain that her husband is asking her to contribute to buying a land that isnt that a mans job. Anyone who remembers the thread shouls help find it.

That she was complaining about paying 1/3 of the rent and contributing to buying a land.

In most nigerian homes, The man 100% does all the developmental projects while in Most naija homes the women money goes to shopping most of the time.

Another thread like 2 weeks ago a man came to complain that he picks ALL the bills in the house, and the wife still asks for monthly allowance.

Unfortnately thats how it happens in a lot of cases in Nigeria. A lot of Naija women are not used to spending any of their dime on the family or investment the ones that do it have the notion that "They are helping the man perform his duties"

[quote author=baby_123]My own father did not care too much about clothes. Does that mean he was suffering. It is even my mum that stocks and restocked his wardrobe with clothes, so they dont say he does not look good. People place emphasis on different things, so you cannot judge based on an outsiders view. If you have spent time in a marriage and levels changed during that marriage, then each spouse should be entitled to something. You just want to be able to marry as many and do away with them as much as possible. It shouldnt be that way and you know it. You didnt fall from the sky and have a mum. How would you feel if she was treated the way you are suggesting?[/quote]If a man wasnt spending his money on clothes what do you think he was spending his money on? probably building houses, paying school fees etc

So why should the woman who was spending her own money on clothes and jewelries during the marriage now come later to claim part of what the man struggled for while she was acquiring jewelries?

Only if you drop money for the asset e.g the woman dropped money to build houses or buy land thats when she has a right to it. Not by sitting down spending her own money on what she likes and at the end open her mouth to say she wants the house/land she contributed NADA to to be split

Thats robbery

AjanleKoko: Gunners never still rise from these ashes sha

Rise from which ASHES? Infact everyone don turn dem to dem favourite ASHI

Gunners don turn to Ashis

[quote author=baby_123]Please no one forces anyone to do anything. Except they were ra*ped. For every action there are consequences. If you skin dive, be ready to pay for it. This applies to both parties. Time for adults to start taking responsibility for their actions. With skindiving, pregnancy is the least of your worries. It happens everywhere, but Nigeria ehn? It is so ridiculous. Women and children really suffer. [/quote]Before you a woman gets pregnant in most cases both of them are responsible for it.

So why should it be one part coughing up the money to take care of the other

2legit2qwt: The country needs several laws protecting children and child support will be a good idea. The rights of the Nigerian children are being abused by many so that'll be a welcomed idea. As far as Alimony goes, maybe not so much. If there should be one, shouldn't be for every tom,
it should depend on several factors such as the length of the marriage, properties before and after, and other things

If you're married to a woman for say 15 years and during that period, you've both moved from a 1 bedroom to a house and invested a lot, it's only fair you share the properties equally.

The law will end up protecting both parties because there are case where the woman may have invested more in the marriage.

If you put the major part of your life into something like that, I think a law protecting your interests in the end should be welcomed

baby123, Im back

Why should the properties be shared?

Havent we seen during marriage the husband would be wearing old school clothes to build a house, while the wife is changing wardrobe with everything she earns

In some cases the man pays for everything the woman just use her money to buy clothes creams and use for herself

So whats the rational behind them splitting what the man has worked for denying himself several things in the process while the women was changing clothes

Lemme ask you have you seen the wardrobe of an average naija man and compared it to that of the average Naija woman? Jewelries inclusive
Thats what most women use their income for
So now tell me why the man should have to split his own assets when he too could have been buying clothes but decided to invest it

[quote author=baby_123]What do kids do in kindergarten please? Watch TV and sleep. Please, i have seen this first hand. Some kindergartens even drug the kids sef, so they dont have to worry with their wahala. Mother-Child interaction is really what helps the child grow.[/quote]The child would be with other kids watching TV together talking together, mixing and making friends, sharing snacks,

I have noticed that kids who go to Kindergarten are much more independent than those who stay with mom and cry at every given instance

I would be back I get dentist appointment

[quote author=baby_123]Kids dont stay in school till 4pm. In kindergarten i know they come out at 1. It is till they are in primary school, without after school activities. its like 2 or 3 sef. A woman who stays at home is not lazy in any way. If you were to pay her for all she did, i think you would have to quit. To get a good nanny sef in the US is very expensive.Dayo, you are going black and white again. Life is not black and white. Let us go back to the divorce settlement stuff, even if a woman works while you are married, she is entitled to something during the course of the union. That you both acquired. Especially jointly owned properties. And a divorce settlement is only to make her maintain at least a comfortable living especially if the children are to be in her care. It is the court that will decide it. We can be on this till day break. A woman's presence at home when kids are little cannot be explained away.[/quote]What is the sit at home housewife teaching the kids that is better than what they are taught at KG class

that can match the social skills they learn from mixing with other kids. They learn to share their space, make friends, atimes share their snacks, share a joke and make build confidence among their peers.

Pay her for doing the child a disservice and stunting the child's educational and social development?

If a woman works during the course of the marriage then she is entitled to exactly what she contributed to the household nothing more UNLESS the man is being magnanimous

If you have jointly owned properties then It doesnt make sense for one party to cart it away. They have to split it based on contribution ratio.

Its doesnt make sense for one adult to be compelled to make another adults life comfortable. If she cant comfortably take care of the kids she can hand them to the comfortable partner.

After the normal maternity leave the mothers presence at home with the child is not compulsory neither is it essential its personal and after a certain age it becomes detrimental to the childs development like I have stated above

[quote author=baby_123]You keep trying to paint the woman as lazy because she doesnt have the same spending power you do. Some people work from morning till night and still cant afford basic things. Do we now say they are lazy? Being a stay at home mum never made anyone lazy. That is a fallacy you need to stop spreading. It is a sacrifice and a very big one at that. The woman will come back to see her Juniors be her boss. But you know what, the satisfaction that your kids are safe with a good head start in life is good enough.

Why will another woman take care of a woman's kids while she is still alive? I dont think your kids will forgive you for that.[/quote]And the kids would forgive you for having several boyfriends and sugardadies rotate on being their dad?

Its lazy to want to live beyond what your handiwork can provide. To want to stay at home doing nothing is also lazy. If we dont have women who work and also raise families then we can say its the only way.

What are the things a woman would be doing at home between 7am and 4pm when kids are away?

Beyond the age of two children are supposed to be in kidergarten learning. Theres nothing you can teach them at home that can match the social skills they learn from mixing with other kids. They learn to share their space, make friends, atimes share their snacks, share a joke and make build confidence among their peers unlike the shielded one at home who is with mommy all day and night

What does a sit at home single mom teaches her child? That its okay to sit at home watch TV, entertain other men while another person slave away to feed you

[quote author=baby_123]Ok, lets say your kids stay with you. Who will take care of them? Your girlfriend? How many girlfriends in your lifetime . You really wouldnt mind your kids being unstable and have a warped sense of relationships to prove a point would you.[/quote]The man can hire a nanny or bring his own mother to care for the kids instead of the lazy ex-wife to put them in a face me i face you

So what stability do the kids have staying with a single mom who brings in different boyfriends in her face me i face you house

[quote author=baby_123]What resources do you have to take care of the kids? Do you have the time and patience it takes to be a mother? How is having your OWN kids a source of income. You seem to not be able to detach emotional and monetary feelings. Maybe that will change soon by God's grace. Money is not everything. For your kids comfort, a good father will do anything, no matter how angry or spiteful.[/quote]If she doesnt have the resources to provide a good environment for the kids to grow then she should hand them to whoever has the resources

There are many single dads out there who take care of the kids. So if she cant feed and house herself no use taking kids with her and make them suffer too because she is too lazy to fend for herself.

A good father would do anything which includes taking the kids with himself and fending for them not financing the lifestyle of a lazy ex-wife

[quote author=baby_123]Every couple is different. I personally will stay at home till my kids start school when they come. And it has already been agreed. I wont miss those years for any money in the world. Neither would i put them in the care of a stranger or my parents. I am not lazy in any way, shape or form. So because you think your wife should be a certain way, does not mean others should adopt that. It also doesnt make the woman lazy. The amount a woman sacrifices to stay home is unquantifiable.[/quote]What sacrifice does a stay at home mom make that those women who work dont?

Other women who are working and taking care of their families do they have 12 limbs?

wesley80: THE National Vice-Chairman (South-South) of the Peoples Democratic Party, Chief Edet Nkupbre, has said that President Goodluck Jonathan is in the 2011 presidential race for a single term of four years, explaining that the emergence of Jonathan in the 2011 poll was to complete the administration of late President Umaru Yar’Adua.
Nkpubre stated this on Sunday in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, in an interview with our correspondent.
Nkpubre reasoned that Jonathan had not violated any zoning arrangement of the PDP by showing interest to contest the presidential poll, adding that the party was only interested in zoning arrangement and not regional arrangement.

The National Vice-Chairman explained that the emergence of consensus candidate from the north would also not make the race difficult for Jonathan, saying that the race would be thrown open to party members to decide based on the strength of each of the aspirants.

Nkpubre said, “Jonathan is not going for two terms. He will finish his first tenure in May and he will only do another term of four years. If anybody says he is using one term, Jonathan is using one term also.
“I believe Nigerians are very intelligent, they will choose the best candidate from all the contenders for the seat of the presidency.”
He also appealed to those calling for mass movement of party members to other political parties to jettison the idea. He added that the people should beg for the votes of the people and not to threaten the destruction of PDP.

Nkpubre said that the idea of reforming PDP was a right step in the right direction through the leadership of the National President, Dr. Okwesilieze Nwodo, saying that it was necessary for the party to have its funding.
He said, “The proposal was made to make sure members fund the party and not the governors. To make sure we will generate enough money from out members to run the party instead of every chapter chairman of the party going to governors for funding.
“The frustration we get from the governors is because we need funding from them. If we have had independent funding from the party, nobody will care about the activities of the state governors.”

punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201011082121717

Only time will tell

Retardeen and his supporters what do they have to say to this

[quote author=baby_123]Interesting, so to spite your ex-wife you wouldnt care if your kids live in face me i face you.

Quite revealing how far you can go...[/quote]if she cant provide good accommodation let her give the kids to the partner who has the resources.

Having babies is not a source of income

[quote author=baby_123]Not every family agrees to both people working. The woman sacrifices a lot in the way of career advancement and income to stay at home to protect and give their kids adequate care. How many children hace been molested and abused because daddy and m7ummy are too concerned about money?[/quote]What would a woman be doing at home not working? its pure laziness Those women in Alade, balogun market, and in various offices dont they have families

Most women that chose to be housewifes what would they be doing between the hours of 7am and 4pm when the kids are in school? Watching Nollywood, gossiping, sleeping and getting fat or doing what?

My mom worked till last year when she retired, she had 4 kids, and most times didnt even have a car, houseboy etc

Its pure laziness and no one rewards such bad behaviour

[quote author=baby_123]Its true na. Na the opeke will chop better, while ex-wife and kids are languishing in face me i yeye you. And the guy will carry hand, pump out chest sey na big boy. Where is the sense in all that?[/quote]Is the wife disabled or crippled that she cant work and provide for herself?

If her work can only provide for face me I face you, then so be it.

The work of your hand shall feed you

FXKing2012: All these dudes saying they dont support divorce settlement are only being selfish and wicked.

So many men insist on their wives being full housewives; so many men dont allow their wives to study further after marriage; women are forced to put their careers and studies on hold due to pregnancy or marriage; so many women help their husbands achieve emotional stability which helps the men perform well in the office, but when they separate/divorce the guy keeps everything while the woman leaves with nothing plus the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Now ask yourselves, is that fair?

And any woman who agrees to be a full time housewife is just being lazy and should live with the consequences of her decision, Millions of women in Nigeria are working and running the home simultaneously.

All those women you see in offices, all those women You see in markets Dont they have families? No one should reward laziness.

Before the men married were they not having emotional stability to perform well?

Is it fair for someone to sit at home all day watching Nollywood while the husband slaves away and eat free food, free shelter and later say she want to split the money the husband made from his education and sweat

Let her to go and receive her salary from Nollywood and African magic she was watching while the guy slaved away

[quote author=@miguel]You still don't get the gist. Sanusi himself IS NOT CLEAN. You don't need a soothsayer to tell you that SLS is one way or the other behind this.
When you hear that the former NNPC boss is being interrogated you would know that the present NNPC boss is behind it; if not, how did they[efcc] get the incriminating files?[/quote]So when the past Delta Governor Ibori was charged it was uduaghan who is behind it or how did EFCC get the files?

When former speaker DImeji bankole was indicted it was Present speaker Tambuwal that was behind it

I hope I am following your reasoning

Sanusi being clean or not isnt the issue, The issue is Did Soludo steal money? Nothing to do with Sanusi here. If he didnt steal money maybe they wont be chasing him all over

bump

When Bakare left the pulpit to protest against the cabal and install Jonathan as President can any of Wesley80 and co show me posts condemning Bakare for mixing religion with Politics?

So Sanusi is now EFCC boss

Person tiff money you say na Sanusi, Shey na Sanusi put the money for him pocket?

When Cecilia Ibru, Akingbola Alams, Bode george, Ifeanyi Ubah, Ibori, Dariye Tafa Bankole etc were arrested by EFCC who was behind it

[quote author=baby_123]Why not if the lady is used to a certain lifestyle which has been provided by you since you both got married. .[/quote]Human being are supposed to live within their means if she is used to it then she should go work for it

[quote author=baby_123]Dayo, how far? Have you slept well and eaten well today. Looks like you are spoiling for another 9pages of debate. [/quote]Yes oo So who would bring forth the argument for divorce settlement and why should there be divorce settlement when 2 adult who are not disabled choose to separate

[size=14pt]Can anyone make a sensible case for why Divorce settlement should be introduced?[/size]

If a man ask you to quit your job to be a housewife then na you sabi

Child Support I agree, Divorce settlement NO

Why would anyone be supporting another adult who is not disabled? Both parties were adult when going into the marriage and money wasnt a consideration for them to get married

Child Support I would agree with as the children are minors who cant fend for themselves

If it was the son that caught them, He should talk to the girl to hook him up too

honeric01: Meaning she's from Edo state.


But her mouth ehhhhh

If she reach here and catch you. na only me she love

Soludo sef be thief?

Na wa oo

24-7

I support child support and not divorce settlement. Marriage is entered not for enrichment.

Both parties should get a job and work.

Some laws cant be enforced in Nigeria cos we dont have a database or even a national ID. What stops John Ade from leaving Lagos to Enugu and claim James Audu? Do you have his fingerprint or how would you know it was him convicted in Lagos