₦airaland Forum

This doesn't make any sense!

Wow! ! Ok!

brosdoncome:
Where in Egbede let me pay u a courtesy visit

lol! The bus stop close to the central mosque!

That man nd his colleague or brother are some of the most rugged conductors around egbeda, oshodi nd ikeja. Try them nd face their wahala. Them no dey take nonsense. I know because I live in egbeda.

dorofresh:
LMAO....

Most words we use on a daily basis have different meanings elsewhere.

Constant usage of such words gives them a sort of notoriety and they become generally acceptable.

This is how most words are formed by the way. New words are coined everyday, and they become popular and form part of general vocabulary.

So for all of you 'BAE' Mongers, don't feel too bad. You are part of those developing English Language. Did I just see you smile?....Lol

nice one!

There are some words so commonly used on Social
Media and because it has gotten so much acceptance,
we adopt it without knowing what it really means.
Today, I came across a meaning of the word ‘Bae‘ and
I
was totally shocked.
Bae is most often used as a term of endearment,
often
referring to your boyfriend or girlfriend. We see
people
posting pics online with the words ‘Chilling with my
bae’, ‘I love you bae’. Maybe I’ve been guilty of it too
*hides face*. So imagine my shock when I saw this:
According to the Urban Dictionary:
Bæ/bae is a Danish word for poop.
Also used by people on the internet
who think it means baby, sweetie
etc.
But come to the Internet world, Bae has a totally
different meaning. Some people even use it as a
hashtag #BaeBeLike. Bae to many means the short
form of Babe or Baby, and I guess its here to stay.
But
imagine you calling someone your ‘Bae’ and someone
in another part of the world is calling poop that same
word…. eeeew!
What do you think? Do you call that special someone
in your life ‘Bae’? What does the word mean to you?
Do you know of any other common words that have
weird meanings? What did you think "BAE" meant?

My laughter distracted the whole class when I saw this! Hilarious

Weird!

I cannt believe this! Hmmmm. Anyway school no be for everybody.

Awwww. So sweet of them! I just love their orderliness.

Lol. Now this is hilarious!

Ok, I yaf hear

WISE QUOTES....
1). He who refuses to mix Agege bread and akara as a
type of sandwich is a
racist - Martin Luther King jnr (1788)
2). He who completely unwraps moimoi and gala
before eating cannot keep a
secret - Abraham Lincoln (1864)
3). Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of
plantain without tasting any -
Albert Macauley (1872)
4). Drinking Garri doesn't mean u're poor, but
allowing the Garri to swell
before drinking is poverty - Queen Elizabeth (1893)
5). Any man who drinks Alomo bitters without
squeezing his face, is capable
of murder - Michael Faraday (1899)
6). Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from
pepper soup, with his eyes
wide open, is not afraid of anything - Williams
Shakespeare (1900)
7). Anyone who graduates from a conventional school
without experiencing a
strike, has never been to Nigeria - Lord Lugard (1904)
. He who runs around looking for scissors to cut
indomie seasoning sachet
is not hungry - Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947)
9). He who says nothing lasts forever has never tried
Hausa perfume - Nelson
Mandela (1973)
10). No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot
cook yam - Prof Jega (2015)
11). Anyone who reads this without laughing, is either
looking for job or needs
money badly - Barack Obama (2014).
ENJOYYY!!!

During a robbery in Hong Kong, the bank robber
shouted to everyone in the bank:
"Don't move. The money belongs to the
Government. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the
conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the
robber shouted at her:
"Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional”
Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger
robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (who has
only completed Year 6 in primary school):
"Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said:
"You are very stupid. There is so much money it will
take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will
tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience”
Nowadays, experience is more important than paper
qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the
bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the
supervisor said to him:
"Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for
ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have
previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "Swim with the tide”
Converting an unfavorable situation to your
advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a
robbery every month."
This is called "Changing priority”
Personal Happiness is more important than your
job”.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million
was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and
counted and counted, but they could only count $20
million.
The robbers were very angry and complained:
"We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The
bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his
fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than
to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
must read and must share

tolugar:
What Of dirty slap.


I've been promised that since childhood

Is it real?

lol! That is the "reallest" type of slap. It makes ur neck turn more than 180 degrees. Lol

WHAT CAN YOU MANAGE TO LIVE WITHOUT?

1:2YEARS Without Chatting
2:2Years Without BRusHInG
3:2Years Without EAtInG
4:2Years Without SingInG
5:2Years Without Reading
6:2Years Without Talking
7:2Years Without Working
8:2Years Without Training

Type Of Slaps

TAKE AWAY SLAP
When someone gives you a dirty
slap, and all you can do is hold
your face and walk away.

RESOUNDING SLAP
This is after you are hit, you keep
on hearing some funny sounds
in your brain like "wiiiiiiiiiii"! And
voices in your head will start
singing Christmas Carol.

FORMATTING SLAP
This is the slap that makes
someone forget instantly what
he or she was doing. You find
yourself asking questions like,
"What did I do?"

EXPLANATION SLAP
When someone gives you this
kind of slap, you find yourself
explaining the situation to the
nearest person on your own
accord e.g. Bros! Are you
watching? I didn't do anything o!

FIX DEPOSIT SLAP
When you receive this kind of
slap, all you will do is just stand
right where you are and watch
the person walk away with your
mouth opened widely.

RHETORICAL SLAP
The moment you download this
slap, you start asking questions
that don't need reply. Like, "John,

YOU SLAPPED ME?!"

SWEET SLAP
This is the type of slap a girl gives
you sweetly on your cheek and,
whether it's painful or not, you
start blushing.

MATHEMATICAL SLAP
This simply has to do with the
physical reconstruction of your
face when given to you; the
length of your face will be raised
to power two, your eye socket
will calculate its circumference.

CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM SLAP
When you receive this slap (it
proves effective when it's given
to you all of a sudden), you will
be able to speak all sort of
languages like Spanish, Greek,
Arabic, Hindu, etc together.

COLOUR RIOT AND BIRDING SLAP
You will start seeing different
colours and your head will turn
to a nest whilst the birds will be
flying all around you.
Share the kind of slap you've
received before in the comment
box below...

Akpos went for a birthday party. He sat close to one
beautiful girl.
Suddenly a guy came to the girl and started toasting
her. “Hello angel, Am Dav. You look so charming. You
are my spec. Please can I have you phone number?”
“Am sorry I don’t give out my numbers to strangers.
That’s final” replied the girl.
Akpos smiled inside himself.
Few minute later, the same guy returned again.
“Baby I mean no harm, just give me a chance to show
you how much I can care for you. Your phone
number is just ok for me”
The girl shouted “Leave me alone! Am not
interested”
The guy felt so embarrassed and left.
Akpos smiled again and thought of making business
with it.
Akpos approached the guy outside and say “Just
10,000 Naira and the girl’s phone number will enter
your phone”.
“Really?”
“Yes”
“Ok! Am in” says the guy
Akpos collected the guy`s phone number and went
back to his seat. “You know what, I must say you are
such a decent girl. I just wish all girls are like you.
Says Akpos to the girl
The girl felt so happy and say “Thank you dear.”
“I think you deserve a gift for that”
“Really?”
“Yea, just give me your number and I will send you
the gift”
“There you go again.”
“No! no! I mean your bank account number. I will like
to transfer N20,000 to you”
“Waoooo! You mean it?”
“Yea”
“ Thanks you so much. May God reward you.”
“Its ok, Just text your account number to this phone
number ”
He gives the girl the guy’s phone number and goes
outside to collect his N10,000.
One word for Akpos

Aww father of Goldust nd cody rhodes. Rip. He was a fine wrestler

yuncka:
all Naija network, guilty as charged.

I think so too. Lol

ginawest:
choi!!MTN at work

very true

kazmanbanjoko:
Network from yur village

kk

GIRLFRIEND: Good morning sweetheart.
BOYFRIEND: Good morning darling. (sending
failed)
GIRLFRIEND: Why don't you want to reply my
message, don't you have my time?
BOYFRIEND: I have tried to reply but the
network is poor! (sending failed)
GIRLFRIEND: if you don't love me; ignore my
message, if you really love me; reply me.
BOYFRIEND: I Love You. (sending failed)
GIRLFRIEND: Do you love me
BOYFRIEND: I Love You Baby. (sending failed)
GIRLFRIEND: Never speak to me again!
BOYFRIEND: I Love You Sweetie (sending
failed).
GIRLFRIEND: Do you want to end our
relationship?
BOYFRIEND: I'm fed up of this shit!!!
(message sent).
Which network could be this frustrating

2nd Semester Exams 4 All
Departments...
Course: Love Mathematics.

Course code: LUV111

All questions carry equal marks.

Time allowed: 2hrs, 30 mins.
1. If a girl is in love for 10 years and at
the end, the guy breaks up with her,
what is the formula for calculating
such love and time wasted?
2. As a guy, you dated more than 7
chicks at a time, using the almighty
formula, calculate the expenses and
loss in handling all of them?
3. In not more than 10 pages, State
the difference between Orobo girls
and Lekpa girls.
4. With the aid of a well labeled diagram,
Describe the term "Ukwu".
(Question 5 For girls only)

5. Using Laws of indices, calculate
the disappearance of your bf
whenever you demand for an
iPhone6.
(Question 6For boys only.)

6. You send an airtime worth #1500 to
your gf and she sends you a
'Please call me I Love You' text.
Calculate the profit and Loss of the
airtime being sent and use the proportional ratio to attain the
equation.
7. You broke up with your girl
because of Christmas/Sallah gifts, etc.
Using quadratic equation, Calculate
how long it'll take you to get her back
in January.
8. As a guy, you are dating other
people's sister, but you don't want any
other guy to date your sister. Calculate
the percentage of your foolish and
wicked behavior.
9. When you check a Facebook profile,
99% of guys are single as their marital
status states, and 100% of the girls are
dating, engaged, in a relationship,
married. Briefly explain who they are
all dating in not less than two sentences.
N/B- Attempt all question to avoid
carry-over!!!

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr.Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the goat and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The goat sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr.Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital , and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his matchet to the farmyard for the soup's main Ingredient.

Alas! the farmer's wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock.
To feed them, the farmer butchered the goat.

The farmer's wife did not get well she died.
Many people came for her funeral and the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

When someone is facing a problem you might think that it doesn't concern you but remember that when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

We are all involved in this amazing journey called LIFE. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

Each of us may not be connected through a blood line. We may not even be friends but we are all connected through humanity.

Have a stress free weekend!!!

importexpert:
Good morning, nice post

tnx

HOW TO CATCH A THIEF 101:::
The American police style:
allow the thief catch u then u catch the thief
..
The china police style:
chase the thief till he gets tired, then u catch him
..
The arab police style:
kidnap the thief's wife,and threaten the thief to
surrender
..
The Indian police style:
allow a pretty damsel sing for him 2 lure him
closer,then u catch him
..
The Naija police style: catch any person on the
street, beat him until he agrees he is a Thief..
True Or False

WORDS FROM A FATHER TO HIS SON ABOUT
MARRIAGE
1. The man who turns his wife to a punching bag
should have faced a Mohammed Ali in the ring. There
is no justifiable reason to punch your wife – it makes
you small
2. Your wife is not a slave. Slavery has been abolished
a long time ago. She is your help-meet, treat her as
such.
3. The man who compares his wife to another is not
wise – Didn’t you see her before you marry her. The
person you compare your wife with is definitely not
perfect.
4. The man who finds nothing good to appreciate in
his wife and all he does is to complain and whine
about everything may end up having to compete for
the wife’s attention with another man who
appreciates her. Re-trace your steps. What you do not
appreciate depreciate.
5. When you were a ‘nobody’ your wife stood by you,
now that you are made, she is not good enough for
you. You want to ‘step up’ with another woman. Which
planet are you from? Be careful so you don’t come
crashing down like many before you.
6. The man who finds excuse in sleeping with other
women because he claims the wife does not satisfy
him in bed may die before his time – You have been
warned.
7. You complained that your wife isn’t the woman you
married; maybe you are no more the man she
married.
8. You find out that your once loving wife is sleeping
with another man (or men) that is really terrible.
There should be no justification to excuse her
behavior but have you sat down to think how a once
loving wife turned out to be someone who now
cheats on you. Could it be that you have turned to a
globetrotter who hardly stays at home? Could it be
your personal hygiene changed? Could it be you have
turned yourself into a beast pouncing on her at every
slightest provocation? Maybe she is trying to pay you
back in your own coin…re-evaluate the situation and
you may be able to find answers. Your marriage
should not deteriorate to that point. You may be able
to save it.
9. You call yourself the man of the house and yet you
compel your wife to pay the bills for the house. Are
you sure you are truly the man of the house? How
come you sit on the sofa all day with the TV remote
in your hands flipping from one channel to the other
whilst your wife had gone out working two to three
jobs. Are you sure you are normal? The worse is to
expect the same woman to come back from work late
in the night and head to the kitchen to make your
meal. You know you can do better than that.
10. The man that makes his wife a subject of ridicule
and disdain amongst friends and family is not wise.
11. A man that runs to the mother at every little
misunderstanding with the wife is still a baby and as
such not ripe for marriage.
12. You must not be tired of dating your wife. Before
marriage, you were everywhere with her. Before she
gets to the car, you have opened the door for her.
You waited for her to sit before you did each time
you went to the restaurant but after wedding you
stopped all these gestures. Why? You give the
answer. What you cannot continue in marriage, don’t
start in your courtship.
13. Your marriage must not take God from you. As
the head of the family, it is your duty to train up your
children in the Lord. You should not be in bed when
you should be having family prayer time together.
You should not take your family to church/Mosque and leave
them there without you being involved. Remember
you are just a custodian…Do it right

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

If you fall never give up because FAIL means first
attempt in learning,
END is not the end in fact END means effort never
dies'' IF you get "no" as an answer Remember NO
means "next opportunity"...... So lets stay positive my
friends. GOOD MORNING!!!

FrancisTony:
Men are everywhere but kings are
scarce. Let the king in you come alive and she
will hold you in high esteem.

well said!

Vyolet:
Respect is reciprocal, if I do all these,what exactly will he do to keep me,or are women only wired to please me?

what he will do to keep u? He will love nd respect u the more! No man is stupid enough to overlook such rare qualities!