₦airaland Forum

majamajic:

New ways of crossing roads in Nigeria;
Check sideways for motors, look up for plane-crash,look down for bomb, look back for kidnap, now run zig~zig to dodge
bullets. And most especialy wen u re in lagos look up so that truck won't fall on you . . . Hapi independence n new mnth . This is just for fun!

Amyama! Wetin be this?

OMG! I couldn't stop laffing at the smartness and "cunningness" of kelly the dolphin. Wow!!!! I just love dolphins, even more now! Wow!

uselessgoat:
ur mama toto sef smell i see u viewing my thread

guy ur really sick! You need to be permanently in a psychatric hospital.

emorse:
Its called checkmate ma'am.

what are u checkmating? But u would not like to be checkmated abi? Shior!

emorse:
I'll give her some na. Then I'll send her an SMS a few minutes later. it'll read "Hi honey, hope you're not in the house yet? Please don't pass through any of the entrances cos I've laced them all with double strenght MAGUN. You can pass through any of the toilet windows though. They contain only single strength potions. Their effects should be minimal if u use triple condoms. Missing u already. Luv ya!"

that's very wicked!

Wonders shall never cease o!

Are they going to swim? They look funny. But I know its an adult that did that mischief on those kids nd that's not funny

Ok

Were ti mugbo yo!

This one na Babalawo with swag! Fine boy

sod09:
lie
big lie
bigger lie
biggest lie
we look like illiterate abi
d ear piece port in every phone can't even conduct electricity..if u av said d charger now it's ok not d ear piece

ok. But I hope u hv eyes and can see those fotos?

Someone just sent this to me. Pls we just have to be conscious of this.

[/b][b]

EVILFOREST:
IF na NIGERIA na only to mock and snap her we go do.

But see a man giving her a HELPING HAND,. who of knows that may be her HUSBAND in time to come.

But the way she parted her LEGS, shows that her boyfriend don finish work and must be great in BED.

LADIES always loving with their HEARTS...

MEN loving with their HEADS...

sorry, but I tink it should be " ladies loving wit their hearts, men loving with their dickss"

This so sweet! Longing for twins

Could the OP not have summarised and highlited the points for easy understanding?

One word- mumu

Ok

Choose the correct answer. 20, 6, -6.

These days guys are not smiling

True or false?

nairalife2013:
I think I like IS ME DAT WILL DO FIRST!

? Wat ar u doind first? U hv spoi

Slickest:
Aaitiomaiit
Get ready
Set
Oba
GO

hahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahaahahaahahahahaha. U got me laffing so hard with that!

Mprepz:
Where is ur source??

facebook!

demmy0325:
..

what?

chocolateme:
Are they been taught in schools?

nope. Its used as an alternative that awkward moment when u dnt know how to express urself in english

MADE IN NIGERIA ENGLISH.
*Abeg dress back.
*If I hear pim, u go hear weeen.
*Have they BROUGHT light?
*The FILM is SWEET
*Pls help me SLOW that fan
*Mummy HAVE come
*I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU
*Have you paid your school fees
money?
*See as you BAFF up
*Put the bread inside LYLON
*I strong KAKARAKA
*Oya come and be going
*I KUKUMA don't have your time
*Shebi you have BB charger
*See how her eye is entering my
food
*Did you see the sound of my
ringtone?
*I know you have come since bcoz I
hear
your perfume.
*I wan ENTER Motor
*U dey hear d smell?
*shey u dey catch cold
*Abeg leave me alone
*i carry God take beg u ooo
*have mummy Go
*why are u lying in ma head
*is uncle dat beat mε
*is mε dat wil do first
*av u finish eating
*me I cannot come and go and do it
*bros reverse back
*let dem not cum and tell me 2 b goin
ADD UR OWN#

You know ur mum is Nigerian when...

Hormolola Barbie Oderinde wrote:

#YouKnowYourMumisNigerian When she scolds you for using your
left hand to collect money from the
Atm machine.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If she warn you from chasing girls
around. Instead of u facing your
studies.

..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If she tells you repay her for the food
You've been eating since birth when
You only askd her to return d money she
kept for you
..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If she shakes her head at you
while you're leaving the church
just b4 holy communion
..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If She reminds you how many
hours she spent in labour giving
birth to you each time you offend
her.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If She promises to buy you a gift if
you come first is class but never
does.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian [b/] If You borrow her some cash and
when you request for it back..she's
like "all the food you have been
eating nko?"
.
..
..
[b]#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When After shouting from morning
to evening , she ends it with " after
you people will say I'm shouting"
..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If She gets to buy already made
Gowns for Christmas for you and
threaten to return when u frown
cus its too big.

..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian If She goes to the market and start
pricing until the seller start s
crying
.
..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She tells ur 6-yr-old brother
"keep behaving like a kid, your
mate dey give woman belle.
..
..

#youknowYourMumisNigerian When after beating the hell outta your life
then she go like "you want to kill
me abi?
"
..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When Each time she reminds you
she didn't kill her mother so you
will not kill her.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When You ask: Mom, where do I
keep the bag? And she replies: Put
it on my head
..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She refers anything bad to
your enemies and turns it to a
prayer ....ME : O ti re mi ....MUM: ota e lo
ma re.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She says that you can drink
the coke with a visitor then beats
the hell out of you after the visitor
leaves.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian ME:*Gives mom assignment* ....
MUM:Go and meet your brother ....ME:You dont even know it ....MUM:Awon ebi baba e ni olodo.
..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She warns you that as a girl,
when you shake a boy's hand,
you'll get pregnant.

..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She prices just one
commodity round 3 stores then,
goes back to the first one to buy. (Xo Annoying af!
.)
..
..

#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She serves a meal not
enough for everyone, claiming her
share is in kitchen. Then she sleeps
hungry.

..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When You want to follow her out
she says go and wear your slippers
....by the time you are back she's
gone.
..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She never stops using this
phrase "YOU THINK YOU DOING ME?
its YOURSELF YOU ARE DOING".
..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When The only thing she doesn't
want to hear from you is 'peem'.
..
..
#YouKnowYourMumIsNigerian When She touches hot pot
comfortably without a napkin
..
..
MUM: Shebi am talking to you and
your keeping quiet
..... ME: But...
..... MUM:
Keep quiet, i'm talking! Add yours

This has been hilariously hilarious. Even had to take my fone to sh#t. Been laffing all day

abdulahijenifer:
GREETINGS TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC. THIS IS TO INFORM THE
PUBLIC THAT THE FIRST
LADY AISHA BUHARI IS GIVING OUT THE
NIGERIA CUSTOMS FORM FOR THE NEXT
170 PEOPLE TO CALL FIRST,AND
WE ALSO HAVE RECUITMENT FORM
AVAILABLE FOR
BSC,DIPLOMA,OND,HND,SSCE,ETC.FOR MORE INFORMATION Email us on
nigeriacustomservices@gmail.com or
call Dr Ade Bayo Oga on 07065996147.

anu npama!