₦airaland Forum

SOUNDKING:
u got me laughing like a crazy dude. The first statement was vague, sorry.

k

If there were kids there, hence forth they would refer to her as "aunty mess mess" or "uncle's mess mess wife" nd the family in general would refer to her as "our mess mess wife" lol! She would never be able to come out of it. Lol

CONFESSION OF A LADY During lunch at work last
week,
"I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't).
When I got to my fiancee's place for dinner,he
seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly; Darling I have a surprise for you
tonight. He then blindfolded me and led me to my
chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he
was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
rang. He made me promise not to touch the
blindfold until he returned and went to answer the
call. The beans I had consumed was still affecting
me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so
while my husband was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let
one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a
garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting
to the other leg, I ripped off three more.
The stink was worse than cooked
cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room,
I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for
another few minutes. The pleasure was
indescribable!
Eventually the telephone farewells
signalled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned
the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it
on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with myself. My face
must have been the picture of innocence when my
husband returned, apologising for taking so long. He
asked me if I had peeped through the blindfold, and
I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed
the blindfold.
To my utmost surprise, twelve dinner guests
including his Mum and Dad were seated around the
table, with hand holding their noses.....
If you were in her shoes, what will you do??

SOUNDKING:
you got laughing like an exprienced mad man.

what do u mean?

Mama piss is bitter. This is her own way of sulking nd grieving over her lost position as first lady. Aisha is not even interested in it sef

Ok

Lol

Lol this is hilariously creative! Wow

Lol

Good!

iheanyi40:
Wahz so special about dis kim Kardashian sef

her bom bom

disgusting!

So inspiring

Ok

femaleGuy:
Copy and paste




[size=15]IamFemaleGuy[/size]

yea its copy nd paste. I just saw it now nd thought of posting it here. Do u have a problem with that? I dnt tink so

Woman impregnated by SNAKE Deliver a Baby Boy;Photo

It sounds unbelievable, but from the account of 19-year-old Kehinde Adegoke, it really happened. The teenager who is an indigene of Ogbomoso in Oyo State, but whose parents live in Minna, Niger State, has told Sunday Tribune how she had sex with a snake in her dream for four years and eventually got pregnant without any physical relationship with any man.



Not only that, Kehinde was delivered of a baby boy in the early hours of March 28, 2015. The baby, however, was not brought strangeness with it as it had two teeth protruding from the gum in its lower jaw. It however died on Sunday, March 29 without any ill health pinned to it.

For four years, Kehinde said she had to deal with a strange spirit which always came to her in a dream in form of a snake. She said the snake would turn into a Fulani man who would have sex with her, and afterwards transform into a snake, before crawling away.

She disclosed that she had to leave Niger State in October 2014 for Ogbomoso, when she suddenly found herself pregnant without having physical intercourse.

She was, however, full of joy that she received deliverance from demonic possession through the prayers and deliverance sessions she went through at one church in Ogbomoso, Joyous Miracle Gospel Church and Ministries a.k.a. Iyanu Ayo. She expressed appreciation to the founder of the church, Apostle Johnson Olayinka Afolabi a.k.a. Okoto Jesu, that God used him to set her free from satanic bondage.

Narrating her story, Kehinde said: “My parents live in Niger but I am from Ogbomoso, Oyo State. I was troubled by an unseen spirit. I would see the snake beside me. The snake would then turn to a Fulani man who would have intercourse with me. It started about four years ago.

“After the intercourse, the Fulani man would turn to a snake again and leave. Whenever I woke up, I would not see any semen indicating that I had sexual intercourse. But in the dream, he would climax and release in me.

“I have never had any man who wooed me in real life and looked like the man. His face was strange. The Fulani man also used to appear to me in real life, but I was the only person who would see him. He dared not see me with any man, even if the person was my brother. He would frown and warn me off the man. This would make me change my countenance to whomever I was talking with.

“Also, if I wanted to tell my parents what I was experiencing, he would appear and warned me against revealing anything. That was why the experience I was having spanned some years.”



Her life story changed when she discovered she was pregnant towards the end of 2014. According to her, “I noticed that I was pregnant in October 2014. My stomach started protruding and the change in me was noticed by my mother and neighbours. They asked whether I was pregnant and I said no. Though I did not see my menses, my thinking was that it was a temporary reaction and that it would still come since I didn’t have sexual intercourse.

“When I went to a hospital to carry out a pregnancy test, it was positive. I was surprised because I did not have intercourse with any man. My parents did not believe me and were furious with me. I was so confused that I left Minna for Ogbomoso in Oyo State.

“At Ogbomoso, someone told me about a church, Joyous Miracle Gospel Church and Ministries a.k.a. Iyanu Ayo. I met the founder, Apostle Johnson Olayinka Afolabi a.k.a. Okoto Jesu. He asked me to go through marathon and dry fasting which spanned 41 days.

“After the fasting, I did not feel anything in my tummy again. All I noticed was that my stomach would be flat whenever I woke up in the morning but it would protrude immediately I ate. I went through another fast in March after which I experienced my miracle.”

The miracle happened on March 27. “At about 9 a.m., I started feeling stomach pain. Nothing was moving in me. I took some drugs and the pain subsided. It started again and I had to go to Prophet Afolabi . He prayed into water which he asked me to drink. The pain did not subside.

“By evening, the pain had become unbearable. Prophet was told and he blessed water again and sent it to me through one of his pastors. After drinking the water the second time, I vomited. The vomit was smelly. That was all I knew as I passed out.

“I did not know how I got to the hospital. I learnt Okoto Jesu poured water in the church bell and rang the bell seven times, commanding all evil spirits in me to vanish in the name of Jesus. I was then taken to a private hospital (names withheld).

“I became fully conscious of my environment during delivery. The baby was also changing its skin to different colours after birth. My mother was present in the hospital. I noticed that the baby had two teeth in the lower jaw. I did not breast-feed the baby. But he died on Sunday, March 29.

“Since then, I have been delivered and free from manipulations of the spirit world. I no longer see the snake or the Fulani man.”

Kehinde also disclosed that she had familiar spirit and belonged to a group of destroyers (egbe abatenije), though she went through deliverance in 2011. Before the deliverance, she said she used to see herself in the midst of other children, with all of them adorning black garments.

She also revealed that she was initiated into a demonic group by four women whom she knew physically, though saying that two of them were dead. But all that had become a thing of the past, she stated.

The account of the girl was corroborated by Prophet Afolabi who is popularly called Okoto Jesu. According to him, “When Kehinde was brought to our church, we pressed her stomach but couldn’t feel any pregnancy. We told her to go through dry fast.

“She fasted for three days three times making a total of nine days and she did it without any adverse effect, which could not have been so if she was pregnant. She also observed white fast. The prayers offered her and the water given to drink turned the demons in her into a human form which came out as a baby.

“Even when she was taking to the hospital, the nurse who examined her said she was still a virgin, which confirmed that she was indeed possessed. It was simply God at work.” Okoto Jesu said that a case like that of Kehinde had never happened in his church “though we have had cases of women who were pregnant for six, seven years but delivered when they got here.”

Kehinde’s mother, Mrs Adegoke, told Sunday Tribune that Kehinde was a strange child right from when she was in her womb, saying that the twin brother died at birth. She disclosed that when Kehinde was undergoing deliverance session in 2011, she was rolling on the ground and screaming that witches should leave her alone as she was no longer willing to be their tool.

Source;Nigerian Tribune

This aint funny at all. If ur name will not be in the graduation list u wuld hv known bfr time nd braced urself for wat is coming, so its not funny

L

ChappyChase:
At least you get sense pass me, me way think say OP na Out post nkor?
For your mind you go say I deserve reasonable amount of public beating!!
Na even recently I know say NL na Nairaland(er)!!

lol!

Me I tink sey op na 'owner. Of post' o abi no be so?

They are all selfish except the monkey guy. Anyway I guess that's why it tis called 'selfie'

None! Leave these ppl in peace

K.

See as the chicken stand inside the pot sef. For the chicken mind e go dey tink sey which kain mumu be dis? Na ordinary chicken this mumu no sabi cook?

Haahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahhhahahhaahahhaahaahahhahaahahhaahhahaahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahaahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. This is soooooooooooo funny!

Lmao! kai u havu finishy dem! Lol

Lol!

11 faces

This is beautiful! Wow!

I used A C nd D

Mwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaah!

This is very disturbing! Lord have mercy on us!