Jamesvito: I have experienced the same pains. For the past 30 years ive been on that lane. What's so painful is that I have gone to beg for forgiveness for countless times yet no response. I have sent siblings nothing, sent other extended family members yet no result. Up till now, I can't really say what went wrong becos the issue started very very early in my childhood. The most annoying aspect is that the same man is the one going about demarketing me, his son. I have since decided to hand over everything to God.
Very sad. Have you asked your Mum if she had a problem with him? Sometimes, men take out the bitterness in their hearts against their wives on the children. I pray that you succeed in touching his heart to forgive.
BlackViper: Abike was actually a worthy successor to Frank Olizeh. The problem is, you're condemning her because of her poor performance as an APC politician.
Abike did so well on human angle stories. I remember the story of one girl that she decided to adopt or at least train due to circumstances surrounding her birth.
Reference: Are you not tired of establishment people that cannot see beyond the status quo, recycled people that have ruined his country....
Can't you see that the trajectory of Nigeria requires brand new ways and means to get out of the rut.
This is almost four years of this administration and all the achievement is talk. What will make the eight years any better...
And by the way, all qualitative leadership needs to have is a listening ear and a responsive disposition towards the people to succeed. Democracy works well when all of us make the decisions, leadership only summarizes and implements on our behalf. That is proper government. Everything is open for debate, every move is voted for.
If in your little business all your employees are yes men and women, you will not make progress. That is the bane of the Nigerian society. That Mr President knows it all.
Based on my life experience, anyone who will run this country effectively and efficiently should have played leading roles in governance or a significant Nigerian private institution. The problem is not about the President alone. He must have experience in managing those implementing the ideas brought forward, the lawmakers and the enforcers. That is usually the weak point. Anyone who has worked in the public sector at a high level will understand what I'm talking about.
ManLikeL: Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother?
I'm currently confused about my relationship journey.
I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level.
Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old.
I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation.
I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing.
For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades.
Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later.
I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her.
She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her.
Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me.
I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it.
But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more.
She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though.
For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin.
I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish.
Here lies the rub.
Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue.
But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out.
I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition.
I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too?
Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease, they don't always have that freedom. I wanted my kids to have that freedom and an avalanche of options, too.
So, when she asked me that question, I sincerely freaked out and couldn't hide my disdain.
This, in turn, stopped her from opening up until last week, when she could no longer hide it.
Funnily enough, I already like her to the point where I don't mind if she's SS, BB, or iPhone.
But the fact that she lied is what actually turned out to be my ish. She's been a very straightforward person so far, and this particular issue has upset our fashioned norms.
I proposed that the no-sex-before-marriage agreement should be off if we were going to be together, and she agreed. But now, I'm beginning to think it might look as though I'm trying to take advantage of her at this point.
Brothers, what will you advise a brother? Am I being unreasonable? Considering the emotional supports people with SS need, how challenging can it be? What is the possibility that she lives long enough?
All insults, curses, and whatever are welcome. T for grateful.
Marry her if you're ready to support her come rain or shine. Don't marry out of pity.
My cousin who is a sickler has been married for over 20 years with 2 children. Her husband is AA. They're both successful and they have a happy home. Over the years, her health improved due to better care and God's grace.
Sirchiboy: Bros I look for job no job. I met this igbo girl. Because I had no skill. Na only school I get. She convince me to open fashion shop for her to manage it for me and be paying me. I spent all my savings. It was one excuse upon excuse
The money you're spending on others in your search for wealth is more than sufficient for you to learn a skill and move up from there.
God blesses the work of our hands not our idleness. You should have workings for God to bless. That's Biblical principle.
Besides, the rain falls and the sun shines on everyone, good or bad.
tollyboy5: When was that? Where are the evidence? You must be joking. Fashola and the ijebu people of Lekki were more instrumental to the construction of the refinery.
JuanDeDios: Wow, interesting. So it's lucrative, I might ask? I mean, does everyone use their services and what's the pay like?
Most Yoruba families use them. It's rooted in tradition but it has been modernised to suit today's trends.
In some families, especially in the rural areas, sometimes it's the iyawo iles (wives married into the family) that handle it. They collect money by creating room for delays and negotiation before the bride comes out. Nothing much.
In the cities, it's handled by professionals or Women's Union in some Churches. The junior professionals charge moderately. The big names are heavily paid.
In summary, it can range from zero to infinity depending on who is handling it and what the family wants.
Armaggedon: I guess you are a non native, counterfeit English speaker. That's why you small post has so many logical fallacies.
The laws of sowing and reaping are still valid. Hopefully, counterfeiters and those who justify the heinous act under whatever guise will understand in due course.
emiye: ,I"t's likely to get to Ogun state but maybe not Ondo state."
Construction has reached both states ! The problem with most humans is they fail to change their believe or opinion even with overwhelming information disproving it. There are many youtube videos following the construction.
I believe that those who bear the brunt of the effect of mining in whichever form should derive more benefits from the proceeds.
The Niger Delta should be a well developed area if they get enough from the oil in their area and their funds are managed well. Zamfara is so rich in gold and other resources yet the people are so poor and ignorant of what they stand to gain if things were done right.