₦airaland Forum

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

Correct super story!

If not, then it's just surprising to me how dumb people get to be successful. This life no balance sha.

yungzed360:
This is my girl. Our problems are she most times receives calls and chats with lots of guys and she lies to me alot, I've told her severally to stop and always tell me as it is, although I get angry very easily bt it would be better to digest the truth than lies cus it's hurt me a lot. So I've broken up with her many times and she sometimes swear never to come back again. But after a few days or weeks. She will come begging, calling and texting again and then I keep forgiven her.

Below is a screenshots of our most recent quarrels when she came back begging and the reason for the quarrel was she was at my house when another guy called again, and she couldnt tell the guy she was at her boyfriend's house even though the guy kept asking where she went, she only said she went out.

What exactly could be the problem?
Is it me? Is it her? I'm I too over protective or feeling insecure? Please guys what should I do?

She's using your head, and successfully so.

SugarGirl44:
Not learning about making money early enough.
Would also wish for them to get married a bit earlier, girls 23-25, boys 26-28.

Nice. Please, what's the rationale behind marrying earlier?

fasho01:
I had one line manager who had no business being a worker in an organisation let alone being a team leader. The retarded ba5tard ought to be a prehistoric algae under a rock in a secluded cave beneath the earth's crust.

The arrogant pr!ck obviously never thought in his wildest dreams he would ever find himself in that position and so, typical of an Ill mannered, incompetent moronic opportunist that he was, he abused that position so badly and fell out with everyone he managed.

He left a very sour taste in my mouth and working with him is the most unpleasant thing that has happened to me.

Now if I am Kenneth in this story and I am to meet that usele55 fellow I just described above, I'm sorry to say without mincing words but in all honesty that I will never allows such a toxic fellow near my abode. If he has changed, which is hardly the case, then good for him but as for me, I'll slam the door on him and leave him to choke on his wicked heart.

I wouldn't have said it better, so I endorse this comment 100%

"A prehistoric algae under a rock in a secluded cave beneath the earth's crust"? !

SisterFire:
...I will lither his dreams with this particular snake you tiny creatures called humans are so scared of in ur dreams, surprisedly it's a nice pet in red draconian civilizations.
The fear from this nightmares will bring the vibrations of his soul to zero and a zero light emitting soul can't stand up to a woman ,if I tell him to wash my panties he will sharperly

Send this to my dream and I'd eat pepper soup in my sleep. Rubbish and ingredients.

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

I know you're upset about your wife's behaviour, but have you thought about how you might have contributed to the situation? I'm a single guy who wants to get married soon, and I want to understand how these problems happen and how to fix them. Anyone who knows about this stuff can share their thoughts, not just the OP