| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by soles21(m): 8:36pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
cococandy:
No I don’t think the mom should have died of loneliness. I’m just telling you what happens when dependent relatives come to live with the family. The only solution is for you guys to be more hands-on in caring for your loved ones instead of seeing it as a female role. If you remove that single reason, a lot of your wives would be less reluctant to house your relatives. They say no because it always always means more work for them. Why not make a change to that mindset? the only reason I'd consider bringing my sick mother to my home is because I trust my wife to take good care of her just as she's doing for me. Not because she's female. Plus if you truly love your husband you'd want to take care of his sick mother you won't see it as more work. 9 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by shantti(m): 8:36pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
frozen70:
It doesn't work that way
He will allow her in but if aam the man
I will leave her medical bills on her daughter Things actually work that way He will not let her in And you are not the man What goes around comes around 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by clockwisereport: 8:36pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Life na standing fan. If it turns to your direction, it fans you. If it turns the other direction, it fans whosoever is in that direction. I don talk finish 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by nkemchineke: 8:36pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Bro your Mom”s spirit will never be happy if u agree. If u ever want peace in ur life, treat ur mother-in-law exactly the same way u treated ur mom. Rent a place for her. Equity and fairness is what this is called. This is a dire warning. ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Oruku: 8:36pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
You are fool, you killed your own mother. If you would have been a man enough and took care of your Mum, guess she would still be alive. Nothing you can do as your mother inlaw will come to saty. ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? 7 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Billmos: 8:36pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Bro if u allowed her mum ur mother in law to stay with u,even ur mum in her grave will weep.just be blunt with her since ur mum wasn't allowed her mum also is not allowed d same treatment u n ur wife gave ur mum do d same to her mum.if dat will break d marriage so be it.why could she be dat heartless to refuse ur mum to be in her son house in such condition  n feel her mum has d right to stay in dat same house after what she did to ur mum.i can vividly said ur refusal of ur mum maybe what eventually lead to her early dead may her soul rest in peace.dont allowed anyone to brain wash u take ur stand n dat is period damn such peace beside there was peace when u send ur mum away so why won't be peace if d same treatment is given to d mum of who make d rules. 7 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Erickymania: 8:37pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? just remind her marriage is between a man and his wife, not mother in law. Let her find someone to stay with her mom a d support them with materials since she is doing well financially. Personally, I hate nonsense. 7 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by DemonSlayer: 8:37pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? Understandably, you feel angry about the past treatment of your mother. I imagine that I'd be just as pissed if I were in your shoes. However, holding onto anger and resentment may only harm your relationship with your wife and hinder your ability to move forward. It may be helpful to have a conversation with your wife about your feelings. Let her know about this anger you feel, and then you can start to work towards forgiveness and healing together. In the end, the decision to have your mother-in-law stay with you is a personal one that should be made based on what is best for your family. Open communication can help navigate any potential challenges that may arise. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by shantti(m): 8:39pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
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| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Livelystone01: 8:39pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
frozen70:
I understand how you feel about her treatment to your mum and eventually she passed on because she didn't get the care you have planned for her due to your wife refusal to cooperate with her
Now it's her mums turn, just allow her to come the one let her provide her needs while you focus on the family needs as usual
What she denied you off is what she is requesting your approval to get, such is life
Your refusal may react to another thing It won't become another thing, people should learn to understand that there's a consequence for every action. You people forgot to return the quote she gave? Marriage is between a man and a woman, no one else should be included according to her. She should hire someone to take care of her mother period! You guys always want to eat your cake and have it at the same time. 6 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by SweetDipBenny(m): 8:39pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Do watever u think is best, but make sure she gets d message because wat she did about ur mum was totally wrong and she needs to know dat |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by cococandy(f): 8:40pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
soles21:
the only reason I'd consider bringing my sick mother to my home is because I trust my wife to take good care of her just as she's doing for me. Not because she's female. Side eye. Can your wife trust you to physically care for her relatives in the same way? You want to claim it’s not gender based. Okay. Why are you not the one expected to provide the hands on care then? What would stop you from doing it? Plus if you truly love your husband you'd want to take care of his sick mother you won't see it as more work. Sounds like manipulation. You don’t tell people what to do to show they love you. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ThatCEO: 8:40pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
cococandy:
When sick and old in-laws come to love with the family, the expectation is that the wife will be the one to provide care for the sick and old family member. So your wife should have the final say on who’s coming for extended say in my opinion.
Because let’s face it, your wife would have been the one to give your mom bed baths, bathroom care etc. now that her mom is coming, she’s still the one who will be expected to do that. Not you.
So it might not be the presence of your mom she didn’t want. She just didn’t want the extra responsibility which invariably falls on her. Before you ask why she can’t treat your mom the way she treats her mom, know that her mom will be willing to die for her but your mom won’t. That’s the difference
If she said she can't take of of his mom but d mom can stay, I am pretty sure the OP would have gotten a help for her. She just didn't want that woman at all. You really think loneliness didn't contribute to his mom's death? You might think u have figured out your life today, but u might very well fall in the shoes of that guy's mom tomorrow. There is nothing she can use to justify her Mom staying. But don't let's waste our breathe here, d OP was a mumu once, he will still mumu d second time n allow her mom stay in d name of "peace." D manipulation of d vast majority of our naija girls...I can't cope n I refuse to participate. 5 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Slynation(m): 8:42pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.
Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.
Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other. some of you women are always emotionally selfish, now tables have turned you want the man to understand so that they won't accuse him of her mum's death... personally, this suggestion won't see the light of the day in my house... Just see how the f-monikers are busy saying the same rubbish... 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by atlasatlas34: 8:44pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Do me and I do you,man no go vess.. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by EkoErrands: 8:45pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? Bro this your wife will throw you out of your house if you both were living in America...this is the 1st reason why you should pay her back in her own coin on this mother inlaw issue. Then what she did to your own mother should constitute the 2nd reason. I hope the decision is easier now? 5 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Truth001(m): 8:45pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Forgive her and let it slide, though it's painful but there is nothing you can do to bring back your mum. May her Soul continue to rest in peace.
Don't let her blame you if anything bad happens to her Mum, she will think you are taking revenge on her. |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Positiveme2020: 8:45pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ITbomb:
No third party
As it was in the beginning, so shall it be Amen. See women, she now want her own mother Inthe house , some men are just stupid. 5 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by YhubieIsidore(m): 8:46pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Capital No.... rules are rules no matter who's ox is gored 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by pleasureosondu(m): 8:46pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? I feel ur pain, man. But let me say what helped me. First, your in-laws aren't your responsibility, no matter how wealthy you made. Its the responsibility of her own children, males precisely. Secondly, your wife is subconsciously waiting for ur reaction. How you treat this issue will determine future issues in matters with regards to your kinsmen. Your wife made the rule. You lost mum in the end but i believe you feel she could have lived longer if she got a lil bit support from ur household. Well, nobody's mom is more special than another. Your wife didnt respect yours and she'll do it again if there's another opportunity. It's not in serious cases like yours that we talk about forgiveness cos i don't your wife realized she made a mistake BEFORE her mom's issues. So, if she's begging now due to her circumstances, that's not true remorse. Let her mum stay in her current base but get someone to attend to her 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Aklee4994(m): 8:46pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.
Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.
Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other. shut 🆙 that your pit latrine call mouth...but the man no accuse am when him own mama die...That guy will never see paradise if he should accept the offer. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ojun50(m): 8:46pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
mikebabs101:
Are you sure this will not cause more resentment? What ever decision he is taking should not be the decision that we affect the marriage, the children and the entire family. Every married man should understand that the wife is not your blood so expect anything expectable but is children is his blood. |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by millionboi2: 8:47pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Kiemutex:
This write up remind me of my cousin,a nice guy doing well In the country before he relocated to South Africa,along the while he came back pick his wife and had kids over there,he do tell me then and I quote,"I love my wife pass my mama"I do caution him guy you have to be very careful with women,the love you are receiving is cos you are financially stable and a big boy,not quite long he move his mother in-law and a sibling to join them abroad,before you know it guy went broke,ran home to naija and went back to his mother house he barely cater for,the so called wife with the advice from her mother start doing runs with some yahoo guys,my cousin nearly ran mad,the family have to stand by him and was advised to let go since the wife has chosen such path. women,the wife mother must be thesame with her daughter. |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Incrediblekutty(m): 8:49pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? Your mother's spirit will hunt you and scatter that marriage if you allow this rubbish in Jesus mighty name. Amen How do some of you think Biko?? There can never be ex mother, but your wife may become an Ex tomorrow. I think she understands this reality than your stupid self, and she's taking advantage of your sheer dumbness. Ode niyin Sir 6 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by TheOldGods: 8:50pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? You left your mum to die alone with a stranger. A woman who struggled all her life just for you. And another woman who was nowhere when your mum was going through thine, came and made you leave your mum. I thought it was only in nollywood movies. Your mum will be crying at her grave. This same woman wants to bring her own mum, and you are considering to accept it. Just know if you do, your mum's death will hunt you forever, cause you left her. 7 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by anthonyuncle(m): 8:50pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
CENI:
I agree with you bro, her siblings or friends or even her mum in question may have advised her then not to her mother in-law in. sure 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by Starships4u(m): 8:50pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? Let her pay someone to take care of her ill mom.... People don't usually remember that what goes around takes the exact same ride back home... Na only hold up with delay am... 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by ogwuche4u(m): 8:51pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.
However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.
Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.
Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.
What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now? Mama wey sweet... Ohhh... I can only imagine how she felt when you told her to go . My mom comes first. Always comes first. That your wife is wicked, mean. Please serve her same cup of coffee. Those talking about forgiveness should just keep quiet. I 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by gentlesmithugo(m): 8:51pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
I swear to God this thing too pain me.infact this thing they pain me as if na the thing do.i dey vibrate in anger.u dey mean to my mum and expect me to be soft to ur mum.i swear dey no born u well 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by galantjoe(m): 8:51pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Please forgive her but don't forget her action.
Let her hire someone who will be taking care of her mother. Marriage is between husband, wife and children. Others are intruders and meddlers. You can help her by providing money need for the hospice.
Tit for tat, no one go vex 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by marsup: 8:52pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
Just remind her also that marriage is between a man and his wife, not man, wife and her mother.
Do unto others what you would like others to do to you.
Follow your heart anyways. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Allow My Mother-in-law In Our Home? I Need Advice by saintruky(m): 8:52pm On Mar 29, 2023 |
MrBrownJay1:
if the above is how your wife felt about your own mother coming to stay with you guys, then she has NO RIGHT to expect her own mother to come stay with you guys... NONE! I second this motion... 1 Like |
