₦airaland Forum

Phder: Ok, you want my attention, and now you've gotten it.

Your initial post lacks sense, why on earth would you assume it's an habit to be depressed? Depression is a medical condition, saying depression is an "habit" is just like saying cancer is an habit, how does that sound to your hearing? Silly right? That's how your assumption sounded when I read your post.

I won't resolve into insulting you, am trained to behave better than that, hence I won't exchange words with you. I AM INTELLECTUALLY CAPABLE THAN YOU, judging from the gibberish you wrote up there.

The word "nonsense" is not insulting to a civilised individual, it's just an expression of my view on what you wrote, I see no reason why you should flare up the way you did. You went over the line by insulting my personality, have some respect please and learn some social etiquette.


I am very sure your depression as you claimed is a result of over thinking, probably due to poverty or loneliness. Get a life you scumbag.

Dont mind him, it is ok.

bettermike: Chei, human beings eh? So you'l gladly watch me dismantle my bottle of wine on another persons head huh? Cant you broker peace? Well, too late. *picks bottle on table and smashes it hard on that guy's black shinning medula and runs*

please, please, please, no arguing and threat!
people go through thing differently and no one's experience is more valid than the others!!
Also it is very insensitive to tell people like me who have had their lives almost destroy by depression that it is simply a matter of habits.

hardballripplez: Noo room for transgender or gays in nigeria @least for now coz I'm almost sure they still gonna come out in broad daylight someday and the constitution will recognise them,coz most of our politicians and people of high calibre in the society are into this shit and yet they pass fake laws just to save face. I support colour tv. Kill them, butcher them coz its that serious. Let's cleanse naija!!!! Before we are visited with a very devastating disaster like it happened in the phillipines. There are more gays, shemales and transgenders in the phillipines. *Justsaying*

It is so incredible to me how myopic most Africans are!
They would slaughter their neighbors WHO HAS DONE NOTHING TO THEM because of differences in religion, sexual orientation, tribe then kneel to the people oppressing them and condemning them to a life of misery.
With people like you, we are condemned to be left behind and stay in the gutter!
You cannot so shamelessly VIOLATE THE RIGHTS of your compatriots just complain about the government violating yours, dictatorship, it is all part of the same issue! It is a matter of principle, you cant demand respect and not respect others as well!
I could just as well fabricated any foolish reason and ask for your death. Any weak mind can do that.
Dont you understand that YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED?? Dont you understand that homophobia, tribalism, religious tensions are created by those in power in a divide and conquer strategy??
Havent you notice that 'gay issues' surfaced out of nowhere in Africa around 2006 and that the less democratic African countries where were the anti-gay furor was the most intense?? Do you think that all of this is a coincidence?? So havent you learn anything from history?
Those in power know that as long as we are beating each other up instead of embracing each other and allying to fight them, they can do ANYTHING!! Slavery and colonisation thrived on this!
It is because of this backwardness that Africa will always be known as the land of wars, genocides, refugees and famine. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

You are here chanting the anthem that start all genocide and has been ravaging Africa. 'Kill them all, they are cockroaches' was what savages were chanting during the Rwandan genocide while killing and raping people just because they were different all the while claiming to be superior SMH And I am sure you are one of the many 'religious' people we have in Africa, claiming to have faith in a 'loving' God Mtchewwwww
And please dont reply me by telling me that homosexuality is 'NOT african', as if mass murder and genocide were

How can colourtv writes such nonsense which is AGAINST THE RULES and not be IP banned for life??
where the eff are the mods??
if you say the slightest thing about someone's religion, you get banedn for years but you can actually bully and send death threats and get away with it?
HYPOCRITES!!!

Phder: Ikoyi! Present sir!!! Best neighbourhood ever, forget Banana Island, it's for expatriates. Come to my axis and see what Lagos really is.

ummmmm but i thought you were American and leaving in America
(¬_¬) ummmm very strange

[quote author=PAGAN 9JA]Visit a native doctor. THey consider depression as a real illness and not a joke.

You will be cured of it.[/quote]Thanks

litetias: When I was at Madonna, a fellow student commited suicide by stabbing himself with a knife and he left a suicide note that said he was tired of all the unhappiness. All I could hear from fellow students was critisicm directed at the boy with numerous statements like 'what kind of stupid boy, whatever situation he was in are there not people who are worse off?' and so on. All these sounded ignorant to me because I have always suffered from depression and I could understand what the boy would have felt like. My family, for example, have never understood that I suffer from an actual disease and when I once suggested I should see a psycholist their counter-idea was that I should go and see a priest for deliverance lol. On a more serious note Nigerians need to understand how debilitating depression can be and be supportive towards sufferers instead of being judgemental. On a lighter note I found a girl who understands what I go through and who is there 24/7 if I need to talk or ....

Everytime someone tells you that depression is not a 'real disease', please show them this picture

https://www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk/userfiles/brain_PET_scan_depressed.jpg
Depression does damage the brain. It is not simply about 'feeling sad'. It is a real disease that affects the brain and reduce the size of the hippocampus.

Ignorance is a killer!!

Tbken: Hmm God help you @op buh my question is dis WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED..WHY? THE REASON FOR D DEPRESSION? THE HARD LIFE OR WHAT?

Like I said, it runs in my family
My uncle was very depressed too and died of an overdose in 2000
Depression is just like any disease like cancer. There are people who are predisposed to it while others are not
I can just try and cope with it

Ihedinobi: Hi people

Hi, don't be shy

Macelliot: You asked, "why do I feel guilty, whenever I masturbate?"
Is simply because, it's a sin.

No it is not a sin and even if it is a sin SO WHAT Are there anyone out there who can cast the first stone to anyone??
It is you body, it is your choice.
Guilt is a huge depression trigger so stop feeling guilty for SIMPLY TRYING TO EXPLORE YOUR BODY AND SEXUALITY!!
Your are totally normal, trust me!!
Even foetuses in the womb do it

I SAY IN MY OP THAT THIS PLACE WAS A [[size=32pt]b]JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE [/b][/size]YET PEOPLE COME HERE AND CAST THE FIRST STONE ON OTHERS!!
[size=16pt]If you are not here to support others genuinely, you have nothing to here and I may have to call the mods to delete some comments!![/size]

[b]STOP JUDING OTHERS, YOU HAVE THE RELIGION SECTION FOR THAT!! [/b]Here is a place where people should be free to speak their heart without being judged. Most of you trying to INVALIDATE their feelings are part of the problems so GO AWAY!!

If you cant love your neighbours without playing the holier than thou act, you are not welcome here!

neneslim: thanks alot. so so helpful, pls this is my email... adozuka@yahoo.com. mail me so maybe we can talk. thanks again.

You are welcome

I may have psoted this before, I am not sure, this is a video on self-compassion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4 The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen

neneslim: Hi, thanks for having a thread like this, am a young man of 27yrs marrif early dis year nd av been blessed with a son, i used to be a very fun person,i have one of the best job nd a car to go wit it. I lost my job jst afta i fixed the date of my wedding, it was ok cos i was sure am gonna get anoda one bt til nw i cnt nd my wife has been taking care of the family,it became embarassing cos of the way her mum tink of me nd luk at everytin i do,anytime she is around she makes me feel very little nd frm then i started shutting the doors of my life to myself,i stay alone nd tink of so many tins nd even wan commit suicide cos so many tins happen as a result of nt having a job again,u knw hw it cn be being a hight flying banker to being jobles nd broke,the only tin i ve i my house nd everytin in it nd the car. So many times i wan go out bt no one to hang out wit cos al my frnds are busy wit there jobs nd no one wil wan listen to ur problems, most times i end up driving to the fields close to my house nd seat there nd cry cos i dnt knw hw i became such an embarasment. I became a burden to ppl around me,my wife has been there bt u culd feel she is nt free to do wat she realy wan do cos of the fear of ha mum.i jst nid ppl to talk to nd hang out wit jst friends cos am scared of fallen into that dark hole of depression.thanks alot to whoeva wan listen.

Though our paths in life are different we have so much in common, I know how heavy a burden, the fear of filure is, trust me!! Just reread my OP!!
We live in a society that teach us that our worth as human is based on external things like a degree, a job, money, a car blabla and push us to chase unattainable dreams until they destroy us.
Fist you need to understand that YOUR WORTH IS UNCONDITIONAL!! OK?

When one look at this, one realise how foolish this is. We value oursleves with material things as if life was not the most precious thing on earth!! You are more than a car, more than a job, more than a Rolex watch bla bla. I just remember watching few weeks a go a movie called Fruitvale Station based on Oscar Grant's life and I cry myself to sleep.
Oscar Grant was one of these people the materialist and racist society deemed 'worthless': Black, unemployed, poor, drop out, teenage father, umarried, exconvicted.
But you know what made me cry To see how deeply loved he was by his mother, sister, girlfirned and especially daughters.
Seriously Bleep all that non important shiiitttt and talk to people who have been through seriosu illness and life threatening situations they will ALLL tell you that went you face death you understand that those fake pursuits do not matter. On you death bed, the last images you will see before dying will the images of your love ones, the moments you have spent together and cherished. Trust me, you will see no images of you at the office or washing your expensive car. I know it may be hard t understand because as depressed people, we all have this negative self-talk that tells us that we are useless, that everybody will be better off we us being dead. I know that voice very well but I can tell you this voice is a lie.

On 13 dec 2010, I was planning to kill myself, like I had everything ready I called my dad to told him god bye and told him that I couldnt anymore. I was so convinced that he would talk me down about my poor grades and lack of attendance because of my negative self talk that had manged to convinced me that I was absolutely useless. You know what he did/ He dropped on his knees and begged me not to do it. I had never seen him cry before, I didn't even know that my dad could cry. Trust me, if you kill yourself, and someone call you wife to tell her that you are in the hospital, the first thing she will say wont be 'has he found a job yet?' Nope!1 She will be distraught and break down. Your son needs you too just like Safina, Oscar Grant's daughter, misses her dad.
People are ignorant and they dont know how to love especially in Africa. Many thing that by being mean they are being helpful and call it tough love when hurtful words causes the biggest words to the soul.

Secondly, you have achieved a lot and you are a success!! Yep you!! You have achieved a lot I am sure. Start measuring success with things that matter. In the old days they would say that the wealth of a man is his family, his children. You have that, not many are as lucky as you. You managed to find the love of your life and she loves you back and is even supportive financially. This is a blessing, accept her love and support and do not take it as a sign that you are less than a man. She deems you to be man enough for her and it means a lot. You manged to graduate, not everyone can, I am one of them . You are surely a very wise and smart person I am sure. There is more to life than material things.
Life is a becoming. There is not right or wrong way to live, we are trying an doing our best with the cards we are dealt. You have achieved a lot. Even waking up, bathing, eating is an achievement for many depressed people who cant even get out of their bed. Please be kind to yourself dear.
There is this proverb that Robert Kennedy would always repeat, it is from a greek poet, I think his name is Aeschyllus or something like that: "In agony learn wisdom for the true nature of life is injustice" After JFK assassination, he slumped into a deep depression and didnt know what to do with his life. He was so depressed that he would even wear his brother's old clothes. You know what his pain taught him? That life was short and that he shall live a life true to his values for it to have meaning. He who was formely anti-communist and pro-vietnam war did a u-turn and start opposing it. He who didnt care for black people as a white rich privileged kid, started to support the civil right movement. His pain made him more compassionate to people despite skin color or origin differences, who were suffering like him. Through doing what he thought right ta the time even if he received a lot of flack from the democrats of the time, he healed his wounds. Maybe your pain is there to teach who are really there for you. Who will stand for you at your lowest, who has your back and really love you for you. Your pain may be there to help you weave deep bonds with people who REALLY LOVE YOU FOR YOU Please the judgmental naysayers because as Marilyn Monroe use to say: "If they cant stand you at your worst, they dont deserve you at your best"
Also a close door is often another that opens. Maybe you have a hobby or idea for a business and stuff, please dont be afraid to explore your internal resources.

STOP COMPARING YOURSLEF TO OTHERS, LIFE IS NOT A COMPETION. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and forget what matters. Have you ever thought about doing GRATITUDE LIST OR PRAYERS?
Basically list all the things you are grateful for that will sheer you up and help you see the glass half full and not half empty. When you compare yourself to other, your glass is always empty and you can enjoy the other full half. Stop doing that. We all go through things differently you know. Even the rich cry. Someone in your situation could be perfectly happy while those you envy may be under a lot of stress and just as depressed as you, you know. Maybe there are even people who have been trying t have children and cant.
I am not trying to put you down and tell you that there a people who have it worse than you, I hate when people do that because it invalidate you pain. YOUR PAIN IS VALID! What I have just trying to tell you is that we often think that the herb is greener on the other side and put ourselves down with pointless comparisons. Spend more them truly enjoying hwat you already have instead of dwelling on what you dont have. Love your son, your wife, your relatives.

Thirdly, stop blaming yourself for things BEYOND YOUR CONTROL!! We all know how the economy is especially in Africa. Milliosn have lost their jobs these past years and many are still jobless. If you look around you will see that many are unemployed too. Dont just stay focused on those who lives the high life and forget your blessing. if it makes you feel better, even I , have no job. I am just as jobless and my job prospects are very slim So you are a sucess form where I stand

I feel compelled to stop now because I think this post is too long lol

salt 1: The Depression Killer Exercise


Today lets look at some of the physical causes of depression and what you can do to counteract them.These are not so much primary causes, but they can help get you into depression or lift you out of it.

One thing is breath. Your brain and your body work best with lots of oxygen. However, when you work in a cubicle and don't get much exercise, it is easy to get less oxygen into your cells over time. This can cause you to feel despondent.

So one thing you should be doing if you are curing your depression is to exercise regularly. 30 minutes a day of some kind of aerobic exercise. Walking, biking, treadmill. Not only will this help you feel more vitality, it will oxygenate your system. This can buffer you against depressive episodes in a short amount of time.

Another thing is posture. Sitting slumped in a cubicle all day long derails your natural vitality. Slumped shoulders and hanging head contribute to feeling low. So notice how you hold your body, sitting or standing. Get in the habit of sitting more straight. When standing, throw your shoulders back some. It really does help.

Regular exercise will help with posture as well. Your body is a finely tuned machine. Take good care of it and it will help you ward off heavy, depressive feelings.

Thanks a lot for this

radientstar: I ve learn a lot from dis thread bt in my own situation each time I feel like I ve gotten my life back my family pull me back to my depressed mood and say hurtful words at me, I ve tried suicide bt d thought of going to hell won't let me pls wat do I do?

First of all share your worries with a non-judgmental ear that will validate you pain and not put you down. Trust me, I know I have been there. My parents hate me for suffering form a disease that is hereditary in my case, they often say very very hurtful things to because due to my disease I wasn t able to achieve as much as they wanted. For me, they listening ear was my sister and my doctors. THEY NEVER JUDGE ME. For some people, it can be a pastor or a religious person, others a penpal even on a forum. Have you ever tried going on depressed people forum, there nobody will judge you trust me
Secondly, try to be nice with yourself. I know how hard this is when one is plagued with negative self talk and on top of that people close to you talking you down. Please SPLOIT YOURSELF. LEARN TO LET GO OF THE IDEA THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, STOP TALKING YOURSELF USING 'SHOULD'. Basically stop bullying yourself. This may seem simple but it is very very very hard. Just imagine the person you love the most on this planet, try and direct that kind of love t yourself. How you treat your dearest one, treat yourself. Stop and ask yourself, how would I treat someone I love a lot, well do it to yourself.

Like if someone tell something bad to someone you love, you would defend them right Reassure them of their worth and your unconditional love right, well do this to yourself.
You can also try and write letters to yourself, compassionate letter that is.
I will try and post some self compassion material.

Thridly, stand up for yourself. NO other love on this earth is more healing and powerful than self love. Put straight limits between people attacking you and yourself and dare them to cross it!! you must get away from toxic relationship even if it comes from people hurting you, yep even your parents. Verbalise your feelings, tell them to their face because buried emotions can truly kill someone. If they do not respect you then distance yourself form them. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST AND PROTECT YOURSELF ESPECIALLY AS A SUICIDAL AND VULNERABLE PERSON!! Because you deserve love and care too

Fourthly be compassionate to others. This may not seem like much but from experience, the more you give, the more your receive, more you learn to love an dofrgive others, more you will able to do it to yourself too.

That is all for now

Whiteguru: Nice thread! I love this especially because as a psychiatrist in Africa,, i find that my biggest challenges are not diagnosing some of these mental illnesses, it is getting the patient and their relatives to believe it is manageable in a hospital setting. This thread will help us to demystify depression and other mental illnesses and crreate awareness. i will b following this thread from now and will be interested in helping and tuking to anyone who is in need of a listening ear and professional advice and counseling. Kudos @ Op for this inovation!.

Thank you so very much for this message really, it means a lot.
As I said earlier even few words of support can save a life.

I, myself created this thread few weeks ago as a safe place for people like me NOT TO BE JUDGED and feel supported. At first I intended to provide a listening ear to others like me, but since I myself suffer from depression, I have been slacking a lot and I feel guilty for letting so many down.
I spend most of my days curled up in my bed having panic attacks after panic attacks, wondering why I was cursed with this disease that has taken now eight years of my life and feeling desperate and hopeless and even if I want people to feel better, I sometimes feel dead inside.

The think with mental illness and disabilities like depression and anxiety is that people CANNOT SEE how debilitating it is unlike someone who would have a physical disability. They do not understand the pain because they so no injury, no tear and even many suffering dont understand their own pain and start hating themselves for being 'defectuous'. BUT THEY ARE NOT!! I really want to send a message of love to many of us who so often looked down upon, abused, let down and stuff.

So if you could please help me make this place a safe heaven and provide support I would eternally be thankful to you

OMG
My thread made the front page
*CRYING TEARS OF JOY*

tintingz: [size=35pt]Seriously....what is this one saying??[/size]

[img]http://zeenike.files./2013/06/what-is-this-one-saying.jpg?w=300&h=300[/img]

It is above your reach, let it go.

donroxy: @depressionkills
No One is Infringing on anyone here, tis not as if we knocked Femi's door and condemned him, we are all just ''discussing'' !!!

No Culture all over the world is perfect in supporting human existence and through the years we have all learn from one another as nations and with Globalisation, it seems the world is in our Hand !!!

What I actually condemned was what Significance odds lies in calling your mum ''Mummy'' and your dad ''daddy'' ? ...... It is understandable if there are Ills in doing so ... Whereas, Calling your popman by his name is frown @,@ the society level !!


Respect, is a very culture of Africa/Nigeria as such Respect as a concept vary from nation to nation .... Yoruba adage says ''what's legitimate in one's society is an abomination in another'' .......


We all Agreed that Calling one's father by his firstname is unusual in our society although,there is never any ill in that ...... The basis of my condemnation is how will the society acknowledge those children who call their dad by firstname and the pyschological implication of such on them !!!

It is not as if there are ills in calling one's dad, ''daddy'' !!!

I think there was a misunderstanding. My point was the following: When people with power commit crimes that wreck our society such as corruption, sexual and political violence and many other ills, NOBODY EVER LABELS THEM AS ANTI-AFRICAN.
None talks as much about morals, values, blablah culture, respect, how much rape and corruption are against our African heritage but whenever any commoner decides to live their life as they please and go a little outside of the norms, everybody is up in arms about how much we must protect our culture against the west. This is hypocrisy.

I have never in my life seen anyone labels the likes of Oduah or GEJ as anti-African or even infer that their behaviour represent a threats to our cultures and identities when the do. Basically what you said about westernization and values was absolutely unnecessary because as you pointed yourself, even westerners call the parents 'mum' and 'dad' and once again you have no clue about what goes on in that house, so you are not fit to condemn when you are unaware of their family dynamics.

It is a very serious attack to attack any one on their identity especially Africans on their Africaneity, considering our tumultuous history of colonisation and slavery. Yet these attacks seem to only be reserved to those committing the less significant minor 'offences' that are plainly within the realm of their individual liberties while those effectively destroying us all are let scott free.

bleeped up priorities of this kind that serves the strong and punish the weak are the biggest threats to our cultures!

POPE II: idiot I'm nigerian with a Cameroonian parent and I grew up in both countries and I still go in Cameroon whenever I want. so I know the situation more than you do simply because you don't live in Cameroon and you clearly stated in your comments that you don't see yourself as a Cameroonian, so you can stop whining. So I take part in this discussion without asking you anything.
First of voice what is an Anglophone or a francophone are they ethnic group? No you can find French speakers and English speakers in all the different ethnic groups in Cameroon . Now the facts are there Anglophone(.english speakers) are a minority, less than 20% yet the gov opted for a bilingual type of administration something they weren't forced to do. There's no country where a minority shuts the majority. All documents, national exams, "concours" ,t.v News etc are in English and French, the prime Minister is always someone coming from southern Cameroon, they have their quota and their part of the cake despite being an insignificant minority, does anyone needs their vote to win the presidency? How many candidates campaign there?
They are lazy and only wait govt handouts, go to Bamenda Igbos dominate everything there and when they close their shops for whatever reasons bamenda becomes a ghost town. I have never seen a southern Cameroonian being discriminated point it out to me , and I'm talking about the government, because private and local initiatives do not concern the president.

The dignity of your people? Since the rest of Cameroonian are not your people I wish you well in your secession funny enough I have never heard about a Bamileke secessionist group.coward?

Anyway i'm done with you I went through your profile not only you are not okay upstairs but you are a Bamileke you can't be objective. However I will suggest you to come back home because you seem so much disconnected from the reality, lol a Bamileke is president of the senate they have not less than 4/5 ministry

You should have been done with me before quoting me when I never acknowledged you and then STALKING MY PROFILE. Then you have the nerve to tell me that I am not 'well upstairs'. Online stalkers make the worst armchair psychiatrists, so fall the Bleep back!!

Unlike you, BOTH MY PARENTS ARE CAMEROONIAN, raised and born there and there are no other country I can claim.

So you are really trying, arent you? You really think that our administration is bilingual because the majority bowed down to the wishes of the minority and not because this is part of terms of the reunification when in 1961 the Northern British Cameroon choose to go with Nigeria and the Southern with Cameroon. You tried!
You earlier claimed you didnt see how anglophones were discriminated against, now you are hurling the same stereotypical garbage used to marginalised them. Good one! It is clear that given how ignorant of Cameroonian history you are - your lack of knowledge of the terms of the reunification and the independence war of the UPC - you would not spot discrimination even it was absolutely blatant! Ignorance is not 'funny'!

And yes the president of Senate is Bamileke, the prime minister is Anglophone but none of these groups has ever accessed the presidency of Cameroon unlike Northerners with Ahmadou Ahijo!
And by the way, I want to make clear that I never claimed or even intended to claim that Northerners are not discriminated against in Cameroon because they are but comparing it to what is going on in Nigeria is a huge stretch. The North is small, in population at least, and the 'south' isnt even an entity

POPE II: you are a tool Northern Cameroon is divided in 3 regions Adamawa and north are dominated by Fulani be it politically, religiously and economically ,they will join their brothers in Nigeria without hesitation, besides is it not in your country that the former head of justice said the power should go back to North?
Going by your moniker it is clear you are frustrated, but please don't project your frustrations on others, because I really don't see how Anglophone are marginalized or discriminated

First of all, stop any familiarity and vulgarity with me. I dont think we have ever met for you to utter such words at me!!
Secondly, the bolded shows that you are not fit to take part in this discussion.
Thirdly if Northerner Cameroonians are so ready to join 'their brothers in Nigeria' how come during all these decades we have been a country, they have never asked for their independence or even autonomy like many Anglophones are now doing or even fought against the central power like Bamilekes and Bassas?
What has been stopping them for so long since they are in such a hurry to join their brothers in Nigeria??
Personally, I dont care whether a Paul Biya or an Amadou Ahijo has power, as long as the dignity of my people is restored and respected and it has never been since that fake independence was handed to us by the French.

chima12: Cameroon does have similar north/south issues like nigeria but the north of cameroon are a much smaller minority in cameroon in comparison to the north in nigeria.

Northern cameroon rebels/insurgents cannot march to yaounde unless they are backed by france. cameroon will be set many years backwards if this happens.

The french operate a relationship in which they control the economy and even the security of their former colonies with various defence pacts.

Paul Biya intenting to have cameroonians control the oil sector and economy of cameroon is the right way to go but he needs to watch the northern region.france could sponsor rebels from the north to try overthrow cameroonian govt,just like france did in coted ivoire where alassane quataras northern rebels were armed by france such that they marched from the north to the south of coteivoire and overthrew the govt of laurent gbagbo.

Cameroons saving grace may just be the fact that ansaru and boko haram have now been designated as foreign terrorist organisations,though I don't know if that would deter france from using the northern insurgents/ansaru/boko haram against the cameroonian govt if french economic interests in cameroon is threatened.

This is why cameroon needs to partner nigeria and get rid of insurgents/boko haram from cameroonian and nigerian territory.

With FTO status now bestowed on bokoharam/ansaru,you can expect drone strikes on their suspected commanders/leaders in any part of nigeria,cameroon,chad,niger once they are sighted.These insurgents will be the targets but innocent people could be affected as well.

Cameroon does have a North/South divide like all the countries on the west African coast between Cameroon and Ivory Coast and this include Ghana, Benin, Togo and Nigeria, with a North that is mostly Fulani, Muslim and poorer and a south mostly Christian.

But that is about it. The North/South divide in Cameroon differs greatly from the divide in Nigeria because of population size as you mentioned and mainly because there are historical divides in the South that are far deeper than the North/South divide. The French/English divide is one of them and the tribalism against Bamilike is another. Both these groups have been more alienated when it comes to political power than Northerners. And both of these groups would never defined themselves as southerners - who they see as their main oppressors. so they wont ever unite with said oppressors to attack the North.

Also i am really pessimistic when it comes to Biya doing anything about Boko Haram since he clearly doesnt give a Bleep about his people to begin with. BH knows that they can make a lot of money by kidnapping French people that reside in Cameroon since the French government is dumb enough to reward them with up to 20 million euros by hostage. It is clear that they have settle in the North Cameroon and wont leave anytime soon. Few months ago, they kidnapped a French family there as well. So the future is quite bleak

donroxy: Ur case is someone suffering from Inferiority complex thus believing everything that occurs in western countries should be replicate in your society simply because your people are of lesser mentality !!!while you are the one displaying lesser mentality here via Inferiority complex !!!


What odd is it in calling somebody who is older than you Aunty,Brother,Bros,Egbon and showing some respect, Is it not the same mouth with which U called somebody by their firstname u called them by those tags !!!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

While I work amongst Westerners, they all call themselves by their firstname, I also Joined in calling them by their firstname even the one as old as my Granpa but I dare not call the Nigerians who are older than me by their firstname ............ Since, our culture and socialization(societal norms) already tagged it Offensive !!!

This is not Ritual killing,Attaching Importance to stone,cannibalism or holding some false believes ........ This is simply about Value and Norms which makes our society works !!!

Do in Rome as the Romans do and U won't have any Problem , U are the one that should get emancipated from Ill-Mentality here !!!


The Issue of Ph.d,Professor,Councillor,Chairman,Governor,President is that of Arrogance, Average Nigeria is arrogant and when such has a slight Opportunity over some of his mates/colleagues, U would know via his Loudness ......does that now have anything to do with calling your dad, ''dad'' or your dad senior brother as ''Uncle'' or Your Mum ''Mummy'' ......

Na same Oyinbo tell us say make we dey call them with those tags, abi e no dey dcitionary ?, we dey do am, yellow pawpaw still say na stone age we dey ahahaha ,I wonder whose mentality is dull here !!!

I have realised that every time Africans disagree with one another, they are quick to use the 'inferiority complex' argument to make their case.
They do it with everything!! Clamor the need to respect 'traditions' when they themselves pick and choose what is 'tradition' TO SERVE THEIR INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS.
Shunning our traditional Gods for imported religions and rejecting our former way of living for a westernised life is OK and in line with our 'traditions' but a man asking his children to call him how he wants is a threat to a culture?? Really? I hope you are a traditionalist pagan yourself since 'African values' matter that much to you.

HYPOCRISY AT ITS FINEST!!

The way you speak of our collective identity is very telling of many of how us who have internalised the idea that we are a monolith and our identity is fixed in time, i.e. basically dead. Just like what that racist Sarkozy said!!

Why should any outsider define what amounts to respect in a parent-child relationship?
You clearly even disregard the authority of that man over his children.

Moreover, most African societies are so dysfunctional that it always kills me when people yap about values but we can all see how everyday life is devoid of it. We dont know what is happening in that house, it is not life the children insults him or anything.


All these threads about children calling their parents their name, indecent dressing, whit people screaming about values and morals when they are simply interested in POLICING AND CONTROLLING THEIR PEERS because they know tat they are absolutely powerless when it comes to what matters: The real moral moral, political and economic bankruptcy of our countries which are kleptocracies where lawlessness, injustice and abuse reign.

Please all of you stop infringing on the individual liberties of your peers in the name of 'traditions', moral and values, when you are absolutely toothless when it comes to addressing the real rot of our society and suffer from corruption-sexual-abuse-poverty fatigue. These are the real threat to our cultures not what others decide to do in the privacy of their homes.

Litmus: Incredibly intriguing post.



It is possible then, looking at the above post, to infer that somehow Cameroon's unresolved Northern problems are being deflected by having them played out in Nigeria. Since commonsense informs us that Northern Cameroon and Northern Nigeria are virtually the same, it does not require a great leap of thought, to see how French controlled Paul Biyan Cameroon could manipulate it so that Cameroon Northerners play out their frustration in Nigeria since they - Northern Cameroonians may not be making any differentiation between themselves and Northern Nigeria. The Maitesima, which claimed over 4 thousand Nigerian lives was led by a Cameroonian. Many today see the ideological link or evolution between Maitesima and Bokoharam. However like you hint, it wont be put off for ever, one day Cameroon will have to face up to and deal with its own problem.

If not, in the far-flung future, Cameroon may seed Northern Cameroon to Nigeria. Some may throw up their arms and scream, Hell Noo!!! But really that part of Cameroon emotionally belongs to Nigeria.

A second scenario may however play out that Northern part of Cameroon and Northern Nigeria form their own Nation.




incidentally, i have noticed this odd, almost psychological confusion common with Cameroonians that i know. It seem, with them, that....and this is so,so odd....it seems with Cameroonians frustrated with their country, that they then turn their frustration on "African leaderships" most especially Nigerian ones instead of dealing with Cameroonian problems.

Excuse me but why would Northern Cameroon "Emotionally belongs to Nigeria"?
How?? Why?? Since when??
Even more so given the fact that Northern Cameroon is francophone and though ethnic tensions are rife in Cameroon, religious tensions are NOT AT ALL!
If any group were to defect from Cameroon for Nigeria, it would be Cameroonian North-westerners and South-westerners who experience huge discrimination due to the French/English divide. Northerners are far more integrated than them economically, socially and politically. If Northern Cameroonians were to unite with any another people, it would be with with Chad or Niger, definitively not Nigeria


And you are right, Cameroonians are politically frustrated and you would be too if your head of state was an authoritarian dictator who has been in power for more than 30 and even in his 80s doesnt want to let go.

Mr Aboki: Choi!!! My head don scatter...


How much be your brideprice again, make I know wether I fit afford a sophisticated Nwa baby like you...

lmao
no bride price for me o

Mr Aboki: Do you have a problem with Homosexuals?!

If you acceot or reject them, how does that change the price of Garri in the country?!

If they legalize it, would it make more people Gay or what?!

Or are you afraid that if homos become legal that you would turn gay?!






Africa frowns upon homos... How has that moved the continent forward?! We still accept loans from foreign gay accepting countries, immigrate to foreign gay countries and keep comparing ourselves to the gay west..


Your problems in this life has abosolutely nothing to do with who or what a person is f|ucking inside his/her house..

Mr Aboki,

would you marry me?
I love your mind, it is so refreshing to see people on Nairaland who are moved by something bigger than their basic instincts and ignorance, people with a sophisticated approach of the world and principles aligned with the respect oh human dignity and liberties (^_^)
*Kneels down*
*crying tears of joy*
This is your ring --> O

.

"Depression is short end for devastating illness." Stephen Ilardi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8

.

onila: Hi, Depressionkills

am kinda feeling ok today

when someone said am a wonderful person

compliments help

I hope yr doing good

Hi Onila, I am glad that you are doing better (^_^) I know how uplifting compliments can be especially when one is haunted by negative self-talk always telling you that you are not go enough and deserving of love and nice things. Learning to accept compliments may seem meaningless but it is actually a major step in the right direction and away from a negative though patterns that always discards the positive. I am happy for you (^_^)


Thanks to all those who contributed to the thread and the poster above with the videos, they are relly really helpful. I am really sorry for not checking this thread in days but as I said in my OP Im depressed and anxious and I procrastinate and avoid A LOT. It is very very crippling.

But today, I am feeling better
I just watched this video on Depression by the incredibly brilliant Dr Sapolsky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc in which he debunks many misconceptions about depression and mental illness.
I encourage anyone feeling down or guilty because of their depression to watch this and understand that IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT and DEPRESSION IS JUST AS DEBILITATING AS ANY OTHER DISEASE


I will try and update this thread more often, I promise

Katsumoto: Yes, you started all bitter. If there are men in your life who love you and who whom you, then you will not be insensitive to the plight of men who have been accused unjustly of rape.

No one said all rape victims are liars. We are only stating that the incidence of lying about rape is too high. So high that lives have been destroyed. You can't have a blanket rule that once a woman cries rape, then she must have been raped.

Take each case on its merit. In this case, there isn't anything to suggest rape other than the word of the woman.

What is few to you? 'Few' is relative in this case. For me, one man going to prison after being falsely accused of rape is too much. Do you know why? Because it could have happened to me.

You hit no nerve, the perceived insults are only as a natural reaction to the insensitivity of your position and the moronic logic you applied in reaching that position.

If you move away from your default position that all men who are accused of rape are guilty of rape, then we can find common ground.

I repeat, apart from the words of the woman, what about this story makes you believe that rape really occurred?

I am not insensitive to the plight of men wrongfully accused at all!! I know that it can and does destroy lives.
I am simply saying that I see nothing here that proves or hints at the fact that she may be lying. Otherwise, I would not have spoken up. I spoke up because some of you were starting to develop a rhetoric that is often used to shut down rape victims and protect rapists.
For instance, someone said that she invited him to his place, what was she expecting. Another started talking trash about British women painting them as drunk jezebels who always lie. THIS IS VERY VERY DANGEROUS AND IT IS THINGS LIKE THIS THAT HELP RAPISTS GET AWAY! Victim blaming basically demonize the victim and take all the responsibility off the abuser sending the message that they can get away with it.

It is his words against hers and the judge sided with hers. If she was actually drunk when they had sex, then he DID take advantage of her. I always tell African men that they cant do what they do in Africa here and get away with it. When someone is drunk, their mental abilities are affected, they become like a child or mentally damaged person. Have you never heard of date r.ape or the r.ape drug?
It is now known that many men prey on intoxicated women to abuse them.
So once again it is very very dangerous to use her drinking to defend this like I have seen it done on this thread. If someone is under the influence, stay away from them, they may not know what they are doing! If someone says no, stop immediately!
The incidence of lying is too high compared to what?

shymexx: I had to come back and clear things up. I'm not in any way, shape, or form, laughing at whatever it's that you're going through. I know how deep depression and mental disorder is in the black community and how most people are scared to seek help due to the stigma attached to it. I'd say over 60% of black folks suffer from one form of depression/mental-disorder one-way or the other. And I also had to deal with something similar on a lighter scale - after a horrific car accident, in which I almost lost my life, a few years ago. Laughing at that would amount to laughing at my own race and our struggles.

That said, you need to rid yourself off the trait of playing victim/blame-game all the time. That would only add to what you're going through. You need to always look at issues critically and treat everything as an isolated case. If you can do that with this particular case - then you should be able to discern that the whole story is pure nonsense and that an innocent man's life is about to be destroyed for something unrelated to what he's being convicted for.

I've a young friend whose life was put on hold for more than a year for something similar. The charges against him were dropped last month. He missed uni this year and he has missed a few football trials just because of a lie a disgrunted lady told against him.

Sorry, I can't defend injustice!

Anyway, I wish you all the best in whatever you're going through. God's with you.

Defo out this time.

K then, no hard feelings, thanks