₦airaland Forum

Katsumoto: I am glad Coogar has responded appropriately to your post. There is a lot of bitterness in your post. Do you have daddy issues?

If you have a father, brother, husband, etc who has been accused or rape, you wouldn't be uttering such nonsense. Preach your sermon to the women who tell lies. Do you know how many lives have been ruined? There was an Indian cab driver from a few years back, who lost his cab and his home because some lady lied.

I challenge to find something in that story that points to rape occurring other than what she said.

See the stories below and lets have your comments about those stories.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-23645807

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10160029/Cab-driver-falsely-accused-of-rape-saved-by-his-phone-app.html



Two people a month are being prosecuted for making false allegations of rape and wasting police time, new figures show.

It's the first time details for England and Wales have been compiled, showing how unusual the problem is.

The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) looked at a period of 17 months finding that in that time 35 people were charged.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/21016808

I am the bitter one yet you are the one resorting to adhominen again??
What is wrong with all the people on this forum that cannot talk to others without overtly or slyly being verbally abusive?
I am plainly aware that many people lie about rape but I maintain that few people lying doesnt mean that everybody does or should be suspected of.
Actually many people suspecting or attacking rape victims lead many of them to hide their abuse.
That is all!!
I must have hit a nerve because you are all coming at me with insults as I stole the last piece of meat in your pot

coogar: reasons why your countrymen are asked to pay £3k before they can visit UK. [b]if you think stereotyping does not exist in this world then you are twice as dumb [/b]as i once thought when reading your meaningless balderdash. go to the american embassy with a name that says mohammed abdulhamza & let's see how you would fare.

Yeah sure, because I actually did say that stereotyping does NOT exist in the world right It is not like, I clearly mentioned that Nigerian men get heavily stereotyped, right?

The irony of it all is that you are here trying to paint this woman as a liar without proof yet shamelessly putting words in my mouth and thoughts in my head to drive your point home.

coogar: extra caution are taken at the airports when a plane from africa lands at heathrow. forget the political correctness stuff you hear/read in the media. the security/border officials scrutinise every nigerian otherwise nigerians shouldn't need a visa to travel to the UK/US. if your forefathers hadn't queered the pitch for you, travelling abroad for nigerians shouldn't have been so tedious....

Are you trying to argue that because the UKBA stereotypes Nigerian nationals, stereotyping in the judicial system is fair and just? Just answer this question without spouting the obvious to derail.
This is all I am talking about, the viciousness of bigotry applied in the justice system has devastating effects on the lives of the most vulnerable who are actually the ones the law should protect first.
I am clearly talking here about justice, fairness and intellectual and moral values!
Do you agree with stereotyping or not?? Do you think that every Nigerian should be treated like shit because of 419 scammers??
Do you think that because someone else commits a crime and the person happens to look like you, you, an innocent party in the matter should be judged off that
If yes to this question:

Isnt it ironic that many here are accusing the British of being racist of convicting this rapist, yet turn around and use bigotry themselves to defend their point??
If no: Why are you using it then??

coogar: pay attention to the details instead of deploying your scattergun approach. the british police can't be trusted. 'mide fadayomi was heading to jail until the friend of the accuser got pricked by her conscience & testified against her friend in court. that was what prompted the police to look into her past & that was when they found out she had also made similar claims in the past.

idris popoola had no such luck - he copped 7 years for what he may not be guilty of - thanks to hypocritical fückwits like yourself. if a british national was convicted of the same crime in nigeria, his people would also assess the possibilities that he might be innocent.

So you are clearly stating here that the police investigation managed to prove that she was a liar but the police cant be trusted right?? And you call me a tool?? Bless your heart.
And what is the link again between Mide Fadayomi and Mr Popoola?? PLEASE TELL ME! Tell me how the lady lying in one case is proof a lie in the other case

"he copped 7 years for what he may not be guilty of " still waiting for your proof that he 'may not be guilty' but you clearly has none. btw once again, name calling and bigotry are not proof!

coogar: you are a tool......
this is the problem with many of today's youths. their inability to think outside the box & be objective is worrying. evidences presented so far suggest idris could as well be innocent in this case. he was invited to her crib, they slëpt together & she drove him back to where he could get transportation the following morning. where in all this suggested she was räped?

Oga clearly has a chip on their shoulder
I just realised that you do not know what rape is and it very sad that at your old age, after living such a long life to the point of ranting about the youth of today, you still don't know that rape is about consent. That's is it.
Dining with someone / inviting someone in your house / driving them home are NOT ACCEPTABLE form of consent.
You might be from the generation that thinks that a man cannot rape his wife because they are married, she cooks for him, cleans his clothes

*Hiding face in embarrassment for you* This type of ignorance is why sexual violence is so prevalent in Africa

coogar: you lack cognitive reasoning....
show the evidence where i said she was mad because he didn't pay breakfast. this is how you troglodytes go about twisting words & distorting the facts. if you have nothing credible to add to the discussion, i suggest you crawl back to the crevice you sprang out from.



more like we should be asking you why you have no doubt this dude was a räpist? could it possibly be because you were touched as a little girl thus your inability to trust any man? i have a good shrink in vauxhall that can rid you of your insecurity.

Your reasoning so far = assumptions, bigotry, insults, yet I am the one lacking cognitive reasoning, once again bless your heart.

this is what I said "You guise over here are rewriting the script to frame her as a liar WITHOUT PROOF, talking about how she agreed to sex then was mad because he didnt pay her breakfast or whatever, as if you were there when it all happened, so desperate that you have to bring up some old stories totally unrelated." If you are too intellectually deficient to understand that I was talking about a group and not specifically you, refrain from insulting anyone's intelligence because so far, all you have spouted is only insulting your own intellect!

Also I havent said that I had 'no doubt' he was a rapist. Then you will be whining about me twisting your words, when it is all you know. Also using the sexual abuse of children to score point is disgusting, tactless, classless and vile.
I already know that you had little moral from the way you would use stereotyping and prejudices to defend a convicted rapist but this is taking it too far and just show how morally bankrupt you are.
If taking a strong stance against rape means someone has been raped as a kid, does that means that people like you, defending this guy, are rapists and have rape children?? Have you raped before?? Anyway that would not surprise me.
And no I was not 'touched' as kid




[quote /author=coogar]my heart goes out to the real räpe victims out there. however, when an irresponsible woman decides to get drunk & have sëx with a stranger & then claim she was räped then you have to question her class, decorum & morals. if this discussion is intellectually out of your league, you don't have to comment or call people out. you have shown no nous to even suggest you fully grasp what is being discussed.[/quote]You have no room talking about class, morals, intelligence!
All your post speak for themselves
Being drunk actually alters once ability to 'decide' of anything hence their ability to consent to anything, smarty pant has no clue what rape and consent are. you clearly have no clue of what you are talking about but insist on loudly speaking rubbish, talking over people, making false accusations and desperately resorting to ad hominem attacks.
Logic has not left you, it was never with you to begin with and insulting others' intellectual ability wont make it come!

shymexx: Afam, give up. Unleash ALTRUTH and let him fight the rest of your battle.

Depressionkills, I just checked your profile and I found this:

Personal text: Depressed/ Cameroonian/ Poor/ Pessimistic/ Sometimes suicidal/ Likes art, poetry and beauty/ Hates injustice, prejudice, close-mindness, institutional oppression/ Life ambition: make the world a better place by bettering myself /

^^^ . God's with you and I hope you overcome your depression. Anyway, sorry about my post.

I'm out!!

So this is all you got, really?
You clearly had nothing of value to say, proving my point!
You think that I aired this information out when I feared the judgement of obtuse-minded and ignorant people like you? I pity you really.

My aim is to take a strong stand against the marginalization of African people with mental disorders and thank you for the publicity.
Because I hope that for very 10 bigots like you out there that defends r.apists, rape, violence against women, the stigmatization of mental illness, there is at least one person out there that has been victim of r.ape or is living in terrible pain, that will see my profile and find the courage to come forward, seek help, without being afraid of being judged.

I aspire to so much more than making a fool of myself by defending rape and rapis.ts online and I actually have values I live by.

tensor777: Yes you are actually frm you posts an angry, extremely militant, feminist always quick to play the victim card in favour of women.

No thought that this guy could have been set up after playing the sex game with this white girl.
No thought that all too many white English women experience regrets, guilt and shame after drunken sexual escapades because it doesn't fit into the feminist narrative of female empowerment and liberation.

Come on girl even you know that this case mainly goes down to his word against hers?

This is basically what I was talking about in my first post: The inability to present morally and intellectually sound arguments leave yall with nothing more than verbal abuse, bigotry, assumptions and speculations.

Since you cannot back your case, well there is nothing to back, you have to resort to intellectually dishonest and pointless personal attacks and character assassination acting like a weak-minded person with nothing valuable to say but a self-serving and abuse-promoting rhetoric.

You did the same thing here with this lady, accusing her of lying WITHOUT PROOF, trying to tarnish her character WITHOUT PROOF, singing the same song every abuser/enabler sings when they get caught about how the world is against them and the other party is NECESSARILY EVIL, so they are innocent and the victim.

Once again, just like bigotry and prejudice, demonizing people simply because they disagree with you has not intellectual and moral value!
I am not interested in any of the rubbish you have spewed so far and since you have failed to come up with valid points countering mine, leave me the Bleep alone because I never engaged with you in the first place!

tensor777: DEPRESSION KILLS THE AMERICAN FEMINAZI JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!

I am actually black African.
Nazis were actually anti-feminist and saw women emancipation as a threat to family values. You have more in common with them than I have

Afam4eva: Thanks for piercing a knife through the hearts of the pro-molestation folks. Isn't it weird that these people live in the same place.

It is because of people like that that many vulnerable victims of rape go through years of sexual abuse and NEVER COME FORWARD or SPEAK UP because there are always be heartless pro-rape people that will attack them. Call them liars, say they ask for it, basically blame the victim and serial abusers are never caught and go on raping other young children and women.
This nasty mentality must stop!!
I know that some people do lie about being rape, but why people so bent into proving the victim is a liar even when evidences show otherwise?? What do they gain by doing this?

coogar: i am sure you were born with tësticles floating in your cranial cavity. are you genetically silly or you are just trolling? are you aware without the extraordinary circumstances that happened in fadayomi's case, he would have gone to jail? the story stuck until the "victim's" friend testified against her that she made a false claim. how often does that happen, you idiotic scumbag?




this is what happens when a child lacks proteins that should have developed his mental state. it cannot be proven - even the courts can't prove whether consent was given or not. the issue isn't if intercöurse took place cos that's where your intelligence stops - the crux is whether she had agreed to have sëx with idris popoola or not.



if i don't have you cremated within 20 minutes, i would deactivate my account on NL. your insults? lololololol. many tried, many cried, many more died.

This individual goes around calling anyone who debunks their shaky and weak argumentation a 'mumu' or 'stupid' yet has failed so far to provide any sound argument. Calling people a mumu or stupid, wont make you intelligent, it only shows your lack of faith in yourself and the points you put forth.
Prejudices and stereotypes of the likes 'British women are easy, drunkyards, lie about rape' have no intellectual value other than feed the lowest instincts of inferior people.
On the same basis, one could argue that because some Nigerians have defrauded others in the past, EVERY SINGLE NIGERIAN IS A FRAUDSTER AND SHOULD BE SUSPECTED OF BEING ONE even without any proof.
So because some Africans commit visa fraud, every African should be suspected of doing so. How dumb is that? Bigotry and prejudice have no intellectual value whatsoever. This is not fair at all and justice should function off fairness. I am sorry but you are clearly the dumbass here.
The fact that another Nigerian was wrongfully accused by a British lady of rape in a totally unrelated case proves NOTHING about this case, if you think it does, you have no room to call anyone a 'mumu'. It actually proves that the British police can be trusted on this matter because they managed to expose the lady in that case as a liar. So the system may no be perfect but it is working.
Also I could just as well unearth stories of incidences of rape totally unrelated to this case to make my point.

Your methodology and reasoning are flawed , backward and very very very dangerous!
If you cant come up with a FACT in this very story without speculating or resorting to name calling and prejudices to argue your point, stop talking rubbish.
Evidences presented so far have proven that he IS A RAPIST.
You guise over here are rewriting the script to frame her as a liar WITHOUT PROOF, talking about how she agreed to sex then was mad because he didnt pay her breakfast or whatever, as if you were there when it all happened, so desperate that you have to bring up some old stories totally unrelated.

Most of you here defending this guy should hang your head in shame and ask yourself what went wrong in your life for you to waste so much energy DEFENDING A CONVICTED RAPIST.
If you live in the UK, like I do , you should know better than saying dumb stuff like ' British women are this and that' because you know damn well that many people hold deep prejudices against Africans especially Nigerian men. If everyone had been like you and judged you on the mistakes of others, nobody would ever have given you a chance, listen to guy or judge you on your own merit. Actually, the UK would have closed their borders to Africans a long time ago simply on the basis that other Africans have committed crimes here.

So stop contributing to the widespread of rape culture by systematically demonizing rape victims and accusing them of lying when they find the courage to come forward!

PAEDOPHIILES not 'craddle-robbers'
Nairaland, what is wrong with you??

[quote author=Licensed-2-Kill]the killin of a fellow human being is neva justified whatever the reason maybe.
pardon me for bn a lil bit cynical. Ur premise was arrived at from the reporter's POV but what abt the things that are not said.
They might claimed the gal is 16 simply bcuz they want her to avoid jail time.
Mind you, im not in any way taking sides buh if you read between the line you would have noticed that the reports took a sympathetic angle towards the gal[/quote]You are a disgrace and a self-proclaimed woman beater, trying to defend a 35yo mercilessly beating a 16yo he probably impregnated when she was 13, making him a paedophile. Yet you are here trying to pretend liKe you have any moral or a moral ground to stand on?? SMH!!

"the killin of a fellow human being is neva justified whatever the reason maybe."
Yeah sure, because SELF-DEFENSE that exist in EVERY legal code on this planet doesnt exist right??

So someone is beating you to death but you should take the beating, despite the fact that he is a man in his 30's and you are a teenage girl, so that means that he is probably stronger, bigger and fitter than you but mind you, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAVE YOUR LIFE SMH
Your ignorance is startling, no wonder you defend domestic violence and stand up for paedophiles.

S beating the hell out of teenge girls forced into child marriage is justified but defending one's life is not SMH You clearly have no clue what fairness and justice mean.

As long as we will have too many of your kind roaming our streets and preying on our little girls and young women, the African female will never be safe and we will never prosper!

I feel for whatever woman that will have the bad luck of coming accross your Mike-tyson-wannabe, wife-beating, weak abusive ass. A disgrace and a curse. I hope your neighbors are reading this and protecting their young daughters.

[quote author=baby_123]All these life lessons did not come easy. I learned over time to take everything with a pinch of salt. if you annoy me i tell you immediately and move on. I never sleep on my anger or issues. I have also learnt that the people i am worried about are out there living, so why should i kill myself over their own personal short comings? I am not perfect and can never be. SO i dont even try. I chose to be who i am over time in life. So i am passing on my experience to you.

Dont mind Nigerians. Their low self esteem is crazy. And most of those people on that blog are not well at all. They project their own issues which is mostly full blown mental issues. So never take what you read seriously, the negativity there is mind boggling. When they bleach they kill themselves now. That girl was so pretty. She made our nigerian miss world look like a white wash. Absolutely out shined her. hahahaha.[/quote]Does that mean that you have never felt down??
For example, our society is very competitive. Every body want the biggest car, the biggest wedding, the most expensive watch, the biggest house ... etc and people who fail to get that are constantly put down and made to feel useless and worthless.
How do you go about with your self worth and emotional life intact without always comparing yourself??


Basically how do you manage not to care and be so strong and always put your choices before what everybody else's think without letting it get to you??
What trick do you use?

Because like I told you I am aware of what I should do, aware that it is all about my choices but it is very hard to keep that in mind in a world were we are constantly judged and put down and our individuality attacked, if you know what I mean
PLEASE SHARE!!!

[quote author=baby_123]I am Nigerian and understand the expectations very well. The good thing is my parents were liberal. I think they were even more liberal because i am a natural rebel. They learnt early that i am fiercely independent with a mind of my own, and make practical decisions. Even my dad will go over things with me because he trusted by judgement. I learnt very early that at the end of the day, no matter what i would be left with the consequences. So why not create consequences i know are my own making? At least i could laugh at how silly i was, and learn from my mistakes. Now, my own actions are done with a certain level of morality which i have been raised with. Even if i break that code, i dont beat myself up at all. I look at what next now that i have fu&cked up. And i say that with a smile. I never dwell on any mistakes at all, because i made those decisions eyes wide open. I learn from it and move on. I also shut anyone up who would judge me when i have never judged myself. You have to live for you, but that doesnt mean you lose emotional bonds or human affections. Learn to balance your life and create a moral code based on your upbringing and understand the power of empathy.

South Sudanese women are beautiful. Did you see miss world South Sudan?? . she was almost purple yet the most beautiful. [/quote]You are exactly the kind of person I hope to be one day!!
I am your total opposite, I spend hours dwelling on the past and telling myself 'what if', 'I should have done this and that' and it is very exhausting emotionally because it stops me from enjoying the past and at the end of the day I feel as if I has wasted my life

And yeah, Miss World Sudan is absolutely stunning! !!!
https://www.japantoday.com/images/size/x420/2013/09/e545a4b95ce3fecf51b5d6df71ef0608f0765c08.jpg
She even ended in the top ten of Miss world 2013

The funny thing though is that when her pictures were posted on lINDA iKEJI'S BLOG, people were going on and on about how 'dark and ugly ' she was. So so sad!! No wonder that about 70% of African women bleach their skin with such a mentality. It is very rare to meet other Africans that appreciate the beauty of dark-skinned people. I know so many women who feel less than because they are dark and are ready to mess up their health and finance to be light.
Body image issues are also another big cause of emotional pain for many black women.

[quote author=baby_123]Yes, It is your choice. Always remind yourself of that! No one can take anything from you except you let them. So make the conscious decision to live, and live happy. It should be your "Pursuit of Happiness". Not your pursuit to please everyone. If you can support your family fine, if you cant let them know you are struggling. You can find a better job or a job that you are happy doing while making money. So you kill two birds with one stone. After taking care of your needs, if you can support them, do. If you cant, keep pursing your degree. When you get a job then you fulfill your obligation. Right now, your life should be about you, and you getting to where you want to be. Physically, emotionally and health wise.

Yes that is Ataui, shes a gorgeous woman. Black beauty that would stun anyone. . No dark but i think dark women are beautiful. [/quote]African parents, we all have them LOL!!
Dealing with them is so hard because they place expectations soooooo high on their kids just to keep up with the Joneses and it is very hard to rise above that. Btw are you Nigerian too?? If you are you must know what I am talking about. I have often hear my Nigerian friends talking about how their parents force them to be doctor, lawyer or Engineer even when they have no interest in those fields and tell them that their best is never good enough Same in Cameroon and all over Africa
Well that is the typical life of the African kid

I think that everybody is beautiful in their own way but yeah there is definitively something special about South Sudanese women. Did you know that South Sudan has now become the first exporters of Fashion models in the world? Their skin is so smooth and beautiful and even with an amazing bone structure. *_*

[quote author=baby_123]

Just live your life and enjoy it. You are young, wild ( ) and free. What more could you want. Live your own life. Forget anyone's expectations (family, cultural), forget family sickness and with therapy save your own life and move on. At the end of the day, you would be alone in your grave, alone with all your lifes expectations and deeds. You can either choose to smile as you are rested in old age, knowing you lived a good life. A fulfilling life, and a life that touched many. Or you can decide to go early, hurt family and friends and be another family statistic. The choice is yours. . I hope you choose to live and be happy. When you are happy, people around you will be happy.[/quote]What you said is so important! The notion of choice is very central to many depressed and anxious people who feel trapped life and not in control os they give up. I often forget that at the end of the day it is MY choice, my life because my mind is so clouded and also in our African cultures the sense of duty towards our family is so important and can be a deadly burden. So thanks for reminding me because i forget all the time
BTW I love your profile picture.
It is Ataui Deng, right? She looks like goddess!! So beautiful *_*

[quote author=baby_123]Sounds very intense. Sorry. How about you just live life as it comes and stop sweating everything? Let the future take care of itself. Just have your goals and work towards them. If the goals work out, fine. If they dont, when you get there you will figure something out. Not worrying too much about life may help. Because the more you worry, and the higher the expectations the worse the depression. Living a carefree life when it comes to the lemons life throws at you, makes you are happier, cheerful and more balanced person. Life will take care of itself whether you are there or not. Decide you want to live and take life one day at a time. before you know it, you will be working on full speed with happiness as a companion. I think you should also keep away from negative people as you are a pessimist. And learn to pray positivity in your life. Having a boyfriend who is just as depressed as you is scary. You both do not need to be together except you can work on your issues honestly. You both might have attracted each other without knowing it, because your state of mind is the same. Please leave such a relationship till you both seek help. The damage you could do together can be devastating to a lot of people. This is a time bomb kind of relationship. I am sorry to say.[/quote]OMG thanks so much for your support.
i know what you mean. I have tried changing my thoughts patterns with Cognitive Behavioral therapy but it is very hard to get over toxic mental habits like focusing ob the negatives, worries. Getting over habits that I have developed for over a decade is very difficult, it is almost like getting rid of an addiction...
i also do mindfilness meditation and gratitude prayers
But thanks anyway, it feels good to know that there are people that cares and are open-minded

onila: fulani-nigeria

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1393921_462662417184342_234671630_n.jpg

OMG she looks sooooo adorable!!!
The look on er face is priceless! too cute

These are links of other Nairaland threads which provide very useful tips on how to deal with depression:

What Are The Tips To Overcome Depression, Guilt,n Shame?
https://www.nairaland.com/753999/what-tips-overcome-depression-guiltn

How To Deal And Overcome Depression Without Drugs
https://www.nairaland.com/384229/how-deal-overcome-depression-without

How To Deal With Negative People.
https://www.nairaland.com/1462427/how-deal-negative-people
This thread in particular is very useful to deal with relatives who do not understand mental illness

tnature: I just read about a 35-year-old nursing mother who committed suicide few hours after dedicating her 3-months-old baby. The only reasonable explanation for such an act is Postpartum Depression, also known as postnatal depression. According to the report, the woman's husband noticed the signs of depression but it never occurred to him that she could take her life.

I was saddened by the news, so I decided to write this post to raise awareness, especially among the African community.

About 80% of new moms experience the "baby blues" in the first couple of weeks after childbirth, which are caused by hormonal changes that takes place in a woman's body after the birth of a child. Symptoms include irritability, crying spells, mood swings, trouble sleeping and sadness. These conditions are generally not serious and fades away quickly.

However, some moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of these feelings known as Postpartum Depression. In addition to the symptoms mentioned earlier, it can also result in feeling of guilt or shame, withdrawal from friends and family, lack of joy, and difficulty bonding with the baby. It is usually treated by counseling and medication, but exercising, eating well, and getting enough rest can also help.

In rare cases, a woman may experience a severe form of depression known as Postpartum Psychosis. This condition is characterized by hallucinations, paranoia, irrational thoughts, and being a danger to oneself and the baby. This is an emergency that requires immediate medical attention because it can get worse and put the mother or others in danger.

It is important to understand that Postpartum Depression isn't a character flaw or a weakness. These changes can be caused by hormonal changes that occur after pregnancy. Any woman can get postpartum depression in the months after childbirth, stillbirth, or miscarriage.

Partners, friends, and family - your support during the first few months after pregnancy will go a long way to reduce the occurrence of Postpartum Depression.

Share Your Thoughts

Do you know anyone who has experienced Postpartum Depression? Please describe the experience and share tips on how to deal with the condition.

Source: http://www.infonubia.com/2013/10/the-dangers-of-postpartum-depression.html

iT IS FROM THIS THREAD: https://www.nairaland.com/1483953/dangers-postpartum-depression

This here shows you how widespread mental illness is. And it is a call for all people to be people to be more supportive of mentally ill people

tnature: Please go ahead. It'd be great if you link back to the source

tHANKS VERY MUCH

tnature: I just read about a 35-year-old nursing mother who committed suicide few hours after dedicating her 3-months-old baby. The only reasonable explanation for such an act is Postpartum Depression, also known as postnatal depression. According to the report, the woman's husband noticed the signs of depression but it never occurred to him that she could take her life.

I was saddened by the news, so I decided to write this post to raise awareness, especially among the African community.

About 80% of new moms experience the "baby blues" in the first couple of weeks after childbirth, which are caused by hormonal changes that takes place in a woman's body after the birth of a child. Symptoms include irritability, crying spells, mood swings, trouble sleeping and sadness. These conditions are generally not serious and fades away quickly.

However, some moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of these feelings known as Postpartum Depression. In addition to the symptoms mentioned earlier, it can also result in feeling of guilt or shame, withdrawal from friends and family, lack of joy, and difficulty bonding with the baby. It is usually treated by counseling and medication, but exercising, eating well, and getting enough rest can also help.

In rare cases, a woman may experience a severe form of depression known as Postpartum Psychosis. This condition is characterized by hallucinations, paranoia, irrational thoughts, and being a danger to oneself and the baby. This is an emergency that requires immediate medical attention because it can get worse and put the mother or others in danger.

It is important to understand that Postpartum Depression isn't a character flaw or a weakness. These changes can be caused by hormonal changes that occur after pregnancy. Any woman can get postpartum depression in the months after childbirth, stillbirth, or miscarriage.

Partners, friends, and family - your support during the first few months after pregnancy will go a long way to reduce the occurrence of Postpartum Depression.

Share Your Thoughts

Do you know anyone who has experienced Postpartum Depression? Please describe the experience and share tips on how to deal with the condition.

Source

Hello there,
do you mind me quoting this for my post on mental illness??

onila: I went to a psychologist and was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
the psychologist told me I need medication and ordered my school doctor to give me drugs

I took it for a while and stopped
when I realized I needed to go back on medication
my pharmacist said since I haven't taken the drugs for over 7 months and she wnt be able to give me drugs because thats according to their law over here

that means I have to do another psychological evaluation again which takes over one month to complete
I have been so lazy to do the whole ish all over again


Hopefully I will soon


I know in Africa, you don't have access to all these things which makes it more difficult for you guys over there
but God is yr strength

I dont live in Cameroon right now, which makes it better kinda, I guess but it is still hard
Those back home are left to fend for themselves and use drugs to cope, horrible
I hope you receive the help you need

CAMNEWTON4PRES: I guess Beti are the cause of your depression right?

No, People like YOU are! Bigoted, tribalist, prejudiced, cruel, mean-spirited and basic.

When I read what you said, I remember of how 'crazy' people are treated in Cameroon. they are stripped naked, many of them are raped and even kill, torture for the amusement of sick and cruel bigots like you who take pleasure in inflicting pain onto other SMH You shoudl hang you head in shame really.

If you were truly proud, you wouldnt found solace in your countrymen hardships! Do you know how many women, newly mothers suffer from postnatal depression in Africa and receive NO SUPPORT yet have to suffer stigmatization because of people like you??
Havent you heard about that African American woman who was shot in front of the white house and her daughter and was suffering from post natal depression? Do you find this funny??

Can go about without putting people down? Who made you so cruel, and why do you keep claiming Cameroon when you despite so many of us for being Anglophones, muslims, Bamilekes or depressed??

onila: my dear, I thought I was the only one who is going thru this

these days, I have been thinking abt death and I wont be able to live a good life in the future

I really need help

Me too, my thoughts are plagued by anxiety and a panic fear of the future. I feel like life challenges are way to hard for me and I wont be able to handle them. My financial situation is so precarious. Not having a job, finishing school causes SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH STRESSS that I used to have panic attacks. I dont know if you ever had those but your heart starts racing very fast and feel like you are having a heart attack, you feel cold and start shivering and you literally feel your stomach shrink.
I panic all the time about school, bills, visa, blabla blabla LIFE IS SOOOOOO DAMN HARRRRRDDD!! Once I almost got evicted, can you believe this??

I 100% depend on my parents right now and it causes me so much shame, since they are getting old and since I am the eldest I am expected to be the one catering for my younger siblings yet life hardships just seems unbearable.
I cant even take care of my own self, how an I take care of somebody else??

I once read that Africans, unlike what must people think, are more likely to be affected by mental illness such as anxiety and depression because most of us live very very hard lives that lead us to worry and feel vulnerable all the time. Lets not even talk about the fact that so many Africans are victims of all types of violence, political, economical, sexual ...etc

This is why I m so much against violence because I know first hand how it destroy people form within. One of my ex was the type of guy, everybody looks at and envy. He had a BA at Ivy League university then went on to study Law at Georgetown. Brght guy with a bright future ahead and very handsome. Looking at him, noone can imagine how depressed and suicidal he really is. I remember the first time we spoke, we were talking causally and joking and all of sudden he just broke down and told me that he had tried to hang himself the night before. I was sooo shocked!!!! He looks like the type of guys who has it all but deep inside he hurts so much. He smiles, pretends that he is OK, but is suffering so much but because he projects the image of success, no one sees it!

You can never tell what people are going through, this is why people should be careful with their words and actions!! I admit that I am a terrible person a lot of the time but I am doing my best and learning form my mistakes. A word can kill just like it can save a person. So many people saved me with their words without even knowing. They reminded me that I matter

Depression can affect everybody!!

Many Africans may be depressed and have an anxiety disorder and they dont know it

Raymondenyi: U cameroonian! Pls PM me ryt away

About what?
Have I done something wrong?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iCvmsMzlF7o

I have desperately been trying post a video please HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPP

globalaid: Love your thread. I also suffer from depression a lot. I have come close of ending it all on two occasions. No one to talk or share idea with. Wifey does not help matter either she behave as if she doesnt care. I have being in the US for the past 4 month intially i was happy but with time the thought of going back also is making me going mad. If am still on this planet I will check here time to time but if not we will meet in the great beyond.

I kind of know what you mean.
I, too, had to deal with and am still dealing with close-minded relatives who do not understand how devastating depression can be.
I know that I will always be the shame of my mother because while her friends' daughters have already graduated and are getting married, I spend my days bed-ridden crying, sometimes it so bad that even eating seems too hard to do. I constantly feels like a burden and an oddity and even an embarrassment, because I dont understand why I am this way and not 'normal' like other people.

When you say depression to non-depressed people, they immediately think about the fake disease invented by 'weak and soft' white people. They dont think our pain is real because our suffering is not physical and visible to them so they dismiss it as if it didnt exist.
Yet there are a lot of things that we cant see that do exist!!
No one who has ever been depressed can know what depression feels like, NO ONE!! It is terrible a terrible gloom and fog that takes over your soul and taint your reality and mkes you powerless. DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR THAT.
Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that actually affects several parts of the brain and alters the good functioning of a person. So it is like any disease, just as real as cancer.

Maybe you should try and show some literature to your wife about it so that she understands how serious your illness is and share the depth of your distress with her, especially since you just moved to a totally different country and it can take a huge emotional toll on people. Something is certain, if you kill yourself, she will regret it the rest of her life. Tell her how much you need her support, be honest, tell her about your suicidal thoughts, after all when you get married, it is for bets and worst, right??

I know how hard it is to try and communicate your turmoil to others and know that they would never understand what you are going through which makes you feel even more isolated and depressed but dont take it at heart, PLEASE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, it is THEIR ignorance. It is a fault in their character, not yours. Dont be ashamed and feel guilty for being made fragile and vulnerable by something beyond your control. It is in our vulnerability that we humans find ourselves, find our strengths and the meaning of life, as Dr Renee Brown would say.

It is not because they do not understand it that your pain is not valid. YOUR PAIN IS VALID, I promise you. Just like the pain of someone SUFFERING FROM cancer or any other physical and non-mentall illness.


Dont be hard on yourself
Please forgive yourself for being imperfect and broken because it is your imperfections that makes you human.
It is not because this world has on mercy on you that you deserve none. Actually you deserve mercy and compassion even more in your fragility.
You are made of star stuff literally, a child of God and the universe and because of that, you will always be loved and cared for *hug*


If you need to talk, I am here, well as long I dont kill myself as well