₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Wow

This post is so mega real like your username and it accurately captures the reality of married women I know personally as well. Seven blessings to you for an intelligent, candid and matter of fact comment I feel you on everything you wrote.

From simply observing the marriages of the women in my life and listening to certain things they've said carelessly or mindfully, I was able to figure out most of what you wrote, especially this part - From infancy, the African woman especially is brainwashed to believe marriage favours her. She goes in with all excitement and discovers the truth: that she is the one who loses everything and gains very little.

The post is very biased and sentimental.
We love to eat and swallow bad news more than good ones.
Marriage has uplifted many women than it has pulled down.
You wanna debate on that, I am game.
Enough of this destructive criticism simply because some people made bad choices cos they were carried away by infatuation or money.

megareal:
It is entrapment.

From infancy, the African woman especially is brainwashed to believe marriage favours her. She goes in with all excitement and discovers the truth: that she is the one who loses everything and gains very little.

She wants to run out, but societal opinion on one hand and the eyes of her innocent children on the other hand won't let her. So she buckles up and plods on, pretending to all that it is well. Yet in the quiet of the night, she tells herself, I wish I didn't get married and feels guilty for thinking it.

Life fleets by, her dreams are on hold and so is her life. Every one believes she has no vision except to be a wife. But inside is a burning passion for what she has always wanted to be, yet can't because she has to give everyone else herself, her time and her life. So she settles for the mundane like a regular job, or a business that gives her enough time to run the home.

Very late in life, she realises that she should have sought for her happiness and darn the consequence. She should have let the homefront suffer and pursue her dreams.

At old age comes wisdom, she understands that, she didn't need to marry at all. All she ever wanted could have been attained without a man.

Ps, there are exceptions to every rule but the majority of the women I talk to would rather be single than married. Most agree they feel caged.

If it didn't work for you, don't conclude it's entrapment for others.
Marriage has lifted lots of ladies from nobody to somebody in life. Different families have also benefited cos they are related to some people by marriage.
It's granted women abandon their lives.
But, what about men that welcome you, a stranger to their privacy?
What about men that married you as nobody and made you somebody?
All these extremists.

Lots of women don't have dreams, it was their husbands that encouraged them to reach the pinnacle of their various careers or business or are you saying women up there doing wonders are all single?
Rather advocate for women to have more say in the home and society at large not this bullshit

Most married Nigerian women in diaspora are there courtesy of their husbands. That's dream.come true of more than half of Nigerian ladies.
Will you guys stop.
If you don't want to marry, suit yourself but don't come online to belittle an institution that has been proven statistically that makes better homes, families and people than its counterparts.

Also if you ask some women, they actually just want to be housewives only.

Do your research well before coming online with bikes all over.

Gosh.

What a dark soul.

The high life king himself.
Believe you journeyed well.

He wasn't that old

salt1:
It doesn't really work like that. Igbo men build houses and buy lands and gift their daughters, especially at their wedding. I've seen several cases of that. The only one that may cause some misunderstanding is family house built in the village. You will agree that it will be clumsy for a married daughter to come to her father's house to drag rooms with her brothers, don't you?
The Igbos that I know value both sons and daughters, that's why female literacy rate is very high there.

BTW, don't wait to die before sorting out your assets. Give things to your children when you're alive and well.

You are absolutely right.
Aside their fathers house, all right thinking igbo man always give lots both money and property to their daughters during wedding send forth and subsequently.

And the son in law is like another son of the man.
Believe you me, though it's not part of the will, that man always get what the real sons get on behalf of his wife unless he is bad.

Any family that denies their daughter part of dad's inheritance is one wicked family and should be resisted.

My major problem before was brothers disenfranchising wife of a deceased and her young kids of what belong to her. Very wicked. My town abolished that very long ago before the state judiciary system made that official.

Some archaic and selfish cultural practices must be stopped. Does nobody any good and make our men look very greedy and stupid

Very useless cultural practice.

Learned people and rich men always add their female kids to their wills.

This one is even better.

Before, when a husband died and still has small boys, na so family members will claim everything.

Happy igbo women fought for their right and are still fighting for more. These days, you own everything jointly with your husband unless you be mumu.

If something happens, everybody still alive is secured.

mariahAngel:
What natural sweetener do you use?

In Nigeria, the latest now are powdered dates or date syrup.

Not natural. I don't even know
I add mixed fruits juice to it and viola

The date syrup has been in existence for ages na, just that it's new in the south

mariahAngel:
I remember...it was Munzy



That's why it's not cheap. And rightly so too.

Including ukwa.

Yeah, ùkwa is worst

But a super food.

That guy is a genius and very homely.
I

mariahAngel:
Nne, na once once o...no be weekly something sef
I'm just passionate about cakes and I can help it.
I eat it moderately too

Thanks dear

I love this one.
Recently,.I started using sweetener instead of sugar.
This life eeh

mariahAngel:
You had the ugba made and sent or you can get it over there?

Thought I shared how I made it here.
They sent ùgba seed,
I asked for suggestion on how to make it here.
One guy explained it to me
No be small work. Na old mama work
One whole day. And this ùgba was plenty.
It will last more than 2 yrs no matter how I use it.
Gave some out.

fergie001:
Then, you politicians should do the right thing.

They wouldn't allow him to do the right thing. Had Buhari continued from where he stopped, who would have been complaining.

I miss this man with all his flaws.

Not that thing we call president.

lekki1444:
but they dont have to pay 2000 pounds council tax na

Where did you guys get this ridiculous analogy from?
Seriously?

Anybody that pays up to 2000 pounds a month as tax is a very rich man. Can't even think the prime minister will pay up to that a month.
And you think all Nigerian workers don't pay tax?
UK even have a treshhold you will meet and if you don't meet that, your tax will be given back to you after a tax yr.
Can Nigeria do that?

The goods you buy, u think you don't pay tax,
No electricity yet you pay a fixed amount as tax every month?
Your landlord put local govt levy in your house rent, I'm sure you have no idea.
Add all the monthly egunjes you must doll out, paying for vigilante service or road leading to your house, and of course fueling your gen
Sometimes, I don't pity you guys

mariahAngel:
Loaf cake ❤

Angelicbeing, u see my problem here

Irresistible

How can you ignore stuffs like this?

AngelicBeing:
l am fine jare, thanks for your explanation, talking about healthy foods, I am guilty of the chips eating though but not all the time maybe( once or twice weekly) pizza and burger are off my menu list for long time, coke, Fanta and all carbonated drinks also off my menu, and the end result is l lost l think over 23 Kg and my health is in great shape, l do a lot of walking long distances weekly, health is indeed wealth

What?!
23kg. U try o.
I envy you. I want my flat tummy back

Standing ovation for you

I think I do psychological eating.
It's dangerous.

AngelicBeing:
Oh l see, is Abacha the same thing as African salad? because I ate African salad while still in Nigeria, l know of garden egg sauce, Palm oil with salt or dried pepper added to it to eat roasted or boiled yams / cocoyam but l am just hearing of ùkpaka for the first time, chai, God bless Nigeria with different varieties of foods but unfortunately with Egyptian leaders and taskmasters

Yes, u got it right.
That bitter and soured black stuff added to it is ùkpaka.

It's not even sweet o
But it's filled with nutrients and is naturally probiotics cos of fermentation process. People of old didn't go to school but they seem to know more than us when it comes to healthy food.

Now, it's pizza, burger, chips and chicken. It's well

How u dey?

vivaciousvivi:
Indeed!
I had to read it well.
I'm not even try ing to be elitist but N250k job I won't accept. It's unfair what employers are doing to people. I spend over half of his salary to fuel my cars in a month.
Meanwhile the company turnover maybe over N25m a month.

And he has choice to chose!

I wish the bandits, unnamed gunmen etc will target these politicians and leave the masses alone.

Or foreign countries will ban them from medical tourism.

It's so unfortunate.

30k job?

A Nigerian graduate.

Shame on our politicians and their singers.

mariahAngel:
What a way to barge into me! Yum!

Very sweet. Have missed roast yam so much.

AngelicBeing:
Nice meal , which one be ukpaka again

Have you eaten abacha before?

It's called ùgba by some and ùkpaka by others.
We normally use it to eat roast yam, yam veggie porridge, abacha, or ùgba( exclusively to imo people) and the rest.
Let me look for a picture

That video

My favourite way of enjoying yam

Roast yam with fish and ùkpaka sauce.

crackhaus:
In situations like this, it's always the same solution I apply.

Everything she does to you which you don't like, do them back to her in equal measure...
The trick however is, you must be sleek while returning her actions back at her – don't throw it in her face.

Women who have a habit of not paying attention to your words & complaints, will usually pay attention to your actions.


I used the word 'usually' because it's either she speaks out against your new attitude towards her, or she will simply not care:
– If her reaction is the former, it will be an opportunity to open new discussions as a family and sort out your marital issues.
– If her reaction is the latter (not caring), then be aware that you have lost your wife already and are currently living with a stranger who can kill you in your sleep.

Seems like the guy is the type who don't set boundaries

What will ever lead to her siblings being rude to him?

What is his business with such people?
Cut them off completely both her friends.

Hope he is not the one looking for their wahala.
But then again, they should tell their sister.

Stop them from coming to his house, they need help, he should hire somebody who comes and goes.

Also, I think he is the type who feel 70% of marital problems are solved by money.

Wifey used his money do charity work. He should expect more.

I advice not to give again.
Let her sweat for that money she throws away carelessly.

And oga should sit and talk instead of allowing money do the talk.

Oga is not happy she didn't use him as next of kin
But una no dey use una wife na
Why is hers different?
Abeg, marital problems no dey finish

Crackhaus, u don born?

flames01:
You Muslims have given the world nothing but agony, bitterness, murder, hatred and destruction. Everywhere you go, destruction follows you. You paint the pictures of violence, intolerance, evil, especially you Nigerian version of Muslims.

So, it is only natural for people to view your sheiks, imams, Alfas, etc with suspicion.

These people will never cease to amaze me.
I am yet to see people from the north do extensive research to defend any southerner but here,we are as usual,digging up post to defend them.
When will any of their learned ones defend people from the south?

Southern Nigeria is to Nigeria what Nigeria is to UK and USA.
No matter how high we climb, we still cower before the north.

If you see an abuser you will know.
Love makes us blind or we belong to the he will change mantra.

I ain't doing that thing.

All I needed capturing are there with Nigerian govt.
They should learn how to link stuffs.
Period.

RoyalDiadems:
Wow! Congratulations.

I've been aiming to learn the trade. Please, will you teach me? I'll be much grateful.

Wish I can but I'm not in Nigeria anymore

Ladies and wears

We call such clothes uniform

Lexusgs430:
Everything is just disjointed...... The hip is connected to the arm, whilst the nose is connected to the ass.......

Oh gosh, I give up

The discuss with your wife group think it's that easy to forgive and forget?
Hell no!

Majority of the ladies don't forgive nor forget. The same way a man will never forgive nor forget if he finds out his wife chested on him not to think of being pregnant for another man.


That woman will redefine that marriage and be ready for the emotional fight.

And she will naturally transfer aggression to that girl.

Take her to Nigeria.

Lexusgs430:
Ebube agu + Amotekun + Hisbar..........

What next.......

Why do we have a police force..........

Nigeria scatter scatter......

Lexus, don't laugh, na your country o.

Trust me, as long as those employed are igbo people, they will work against the govt in the long run after initial gragra.

Not in a bit worried.