₦airaland Forum

joeydozzy: so what do you do?

God abeg dis people will not kill me with laughter!

Of course he now puts his lips / mouth in other where he cant catch the flu sucking and licking the lips down south doesnt exactly qualify as kissing

cigar icon: U sure say na human being u kiss?

abeg.help me ask am well o

vitus101: Mine happened at the early hrs of 2010..I met my babe in Dec and the wooing thing has been goin on..On the 31st,she came to my place so that we could attend the watch night service 2gether. After walking around the hood we couldn't find a seat in any of the churches around. The churches were filled to capacity. We retired to her place but its was late so we decided to hang around. While we were chatting,I was plotting in my mind how to kiss her cos the atmosphere at that time of the 9te puts one in the mood for some romantic stunts. I started acting funny in an attempt to get closer to her. The early morning serenity made my work a lot easier because she got cold n started shivered . I pulled her close and the MAGIC happened. She pulled me closer and the kissing went on for minutes. A lovely experience I must say.

so loving this well done bruv!

joeydozzy: primary school, just back from lessons, on the bed

me: have you seen people kiss before?
girl:no but I've seen it on TV
me: how was it?
girl: I don't know.... I haven't done it
me: lemme kiss you
girl: noooooo I'll tell
me: you think I won't. I will kiss you ooooo
girl: oya kiss me. we'll see if I don't tell

*i kissed the girl for 2mins*
she was speechless the rest of the day

actually rotflmao this is so funny

eggy: OBJ introduced "Petroleum Tax" to cater for the removal of toll gates.
We were told the revenue generated will be used for Road repairs..so my question is thus...MR FERMA

1) when you re_introduce the toll gates on our highways, is there going to be a marginal reduction in the price of fuel?

2)Will the amount generated from the tolls be able to cater for Federal road repairs or will Ferma require additional funds ( cus the OBJ administration claimed the amount generated from Federal Toll was a joke)

3)At what cost will this Tolls be re constructed. (Cuz the Demolishing of the existing tolls attracted an outrageous amount).

OBJ claimed it was a joke. . . and now this thing from ferma is clamouring for it again. . .we keep running around in circles wondering why the country is not moving forward.

I really think a meeting should be held at Auschwitz with all heads of federal whatevers and their assistants in attendance (since they all love to travel anyways) lets see if its true what they said about what really happened in that place.

soneone correct me if im wrong but wasn't there at some point an increase in fuel cost as replacement for the removal of the toll gates?
its really quite simple someone please have the FERMA boss slapped upside the head to remind him where he should be barking and not coming to think his name should be occupying space in the dailies. arrant fool.

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

ogbono...hmmm...i remember when I was much younger I used to love ogbono so much my granddad used to call me ogbono man till that faithful day,
I was rushing the soup with semovita my mum just made when all of a sudden a piece of fishbone entered that corner of my throat we all know it wasnt meant to but somehow maybe from too much swimming in the ocean the fishbone somehow always ends up there.
come.and see yawa, water was comin out of my eyes, I was trying to throw up,for where?
Next thing my mum ran to the kitchen and whipped.up a.bowl of eba 'swallow this with no soup it will.push the bone down'...long thing! I swallowed a whole.bowl.of eba,.fish bone no gree commot. Eventually we gave up trying and the bloody thing was in my throat for about a week affecting everything I tried to swallow...God! Even when I remember it now ehn? I cringe. one day the thing just unhooked itself.from my throat and went down.
after that episode it was obvious ogbono didnt have a place in my destiny anymore than fish...took me almost 20 years before I started trying fish again even then it had to be the type that had big and fixed bone structures so I could.seperate it.
so by divine intervention egusi totally rocks...at least for not ever trying to kill me!

baby_123: . None. But i used to see one that used to carry books all over the place with him. Must be dead now. Speaking some serious english . Plus a lot of psychopaths and sociopaths are quite intelligent. Case in point the neuroscience student that shot people in a movie theater.

I know one who wears a bow tie and says were goin in one direction & then goes ahead to try to print a denomination contrary to that
barks about a particular form of institutional practises under his power and when he finally gets it approved we are yet to see one of such institutions in place so much for saving the economy.
Hes led to the loss of jobs of so many because of his thoughtless strike that...mad thinking, and now complains about the civil service....i wonder if now the bow tie is so tight he also now thinks outside 'his box'...or per chance a psycho at the helms of affairs cant possibly be a...psycho cos he wears a bow tie?

Definitely hes doesnt come from the intelligent kind you probably assume here.

Human nature by a timeless legend! MJ
Then my babys call tune wizkid - gidi girl so each time I hear the tune nna double smile cos I absolutely love that song!

This man is still insisting on total removal of what really?

God i really think you need to smite some people and their descendants now o!

Turbocharged: Do you really know the meaning of that word?


Do you think we are talking about qualification here? We are talking about the desire and will to bring progressive change in the system.

spot on at bolded part especially!

rodeo0070: 25. Carly Simon- The spy who loved me.
26. Leann Rimes-How do I
27. Dav KoZ (Come on up)- Definition of Beautiful.
28. Mariah Carey, Nate Dogg and JaRule- If we.
29. Seal- Kiss from the rose.
Amazing.
Wedding day.
30.Shania Twain-Love gets me everytime
Still the one I love.
Any man of mine.
31. Beyonce- Halo.
32. Lemar-50/50
33. Britney Spears- Born to make you happy.
34. Brad Paisley- Little moments

To be continued...

le anne rimmes- how do i? that song made me spoil too many tapes with stop and rewind then lol thank God for cds and mp3 players now...

^^^^^
@ edelweiss a whole new world was for Aladdin soundtrack not alice in wonderland...sorry not being a spoilsport I hope

so amazing-luther
miracle-whitney
I still believe-mariah
same ol love-anita (big mummy,lol)
you are not alone-michael
These ones even their names alone reach to scatter love scene so tay no last names needed!

Thru the years-kenny rogers
Unbreak my heart - toni braxton
that somebody was you-toni braxton & kenny g
dont make me wait for love-michael bolton & kenny g (baba agba)
suddenly-billy ocean
lady-kenny rogers
im ready-tevin (the boy being gay still dey vex me)
if I ever fall in love-shai
iris-googoo dolls
dont wanna miss a thing-aerosmith
the closer I get to you-luther &beyonce
gidi girl-wizkid! love this one so much its my babys caller tune! go wizzy
ure the only one for me-banky!
always-pebbles

for now na these ones I fit remember.

think I shld even listen to pakurumo now sef lol

Fine things by Danielle steel when I read the book I cried...then I saw the movie I still cried again...God!
Titanic...for sure
When I was younger I saw Jesus of Nazareth,i cried and swore I would never sin again...but like I said,when I was small!
Then which one again?
let me think I dey come

I had a cup of garri in my locker then towards end of term in boarding school,you know how that goes,like some conspiracy parents never felt the need to send more provisions or pocket money cos the term would soon be over and you would be coming home.
That was how this bastard came to my locker cos it was open one year my senior and tried to obtain my cup of garri. I refused vehemently he then saw one page from right on! magazine back then with a photo of bobby brown in it that used to be in his locker but he had thrown away and u picked up when the room was being swept...next thing I knew this bastard claimed I broke into his locker stole the picture and money and he had been looking for it.
You know what follows when youre tagged a thief in boarding school, even the boy who swept the room that day attested that I picked the poster. when he was sweeping this guy used his seniority to chase the boy away and got a gang of his friends to beat me till morning undergoing all sorts of punishment along the way claiming I stole money from his locker and the poster was proof.

This just so he could take a cup of garri from a junior student.

Im certain hes had his fill.of.the garri but God knows the day I find him and his tall yellow friend who both lied and did this to me it would be the greatest pleasure having to deal with them in front of their families now so they know the kind of demons they have as husbands and fathers

its been 20years now...im still waiting

30 mins never pass? please now complete this thing on time na,you know tomorrow is monday? abeg na

oya now tomorrow has come...

my own is I want details of the love making between ibro and simi and please let it happen soon as graphic as possible . . .

**blushing** seriously o , a genius calls me hun, ah you should see the smile on my face right now, intelligent women have an effect on me always.oya get back to work on the story o. im waitin.

The last time I was this jacked up about reading something this intriguing was pdudes Adamawa girls...not being sexist or anything but dayum im tripped reading this,been on it for the better part of today and sweetheart. . .hope its ok to call you that? Thank you for helping me survive today without electicity,just like simis hostel phcn dey do me strong thing.
I really think you should finish this thing tonite,abeg. I believe in u,i know it looks hard but if you put your mind to it youd be amazed what you can achieve! please the intrigue is too hot for me and patience is not one of my strong points (either as a virtue or for a presidents wife lol) :-)
but seriously great stuff u have here!

pdude I see you o eh hen!

bread and goat meat stew with sprite

Reproduced below is a secret cable of the United States Government on the fraud in the oil sector in Nigeria as published by Wikileaks.

C O N F I D E N T I A L SECTION 01 OF 02 LAGOS 000767

SIPDIS

NOFORN

E.O. 12958: DECL: 04/07/2014

TAGS: EPET EINV EFIN PGOV NI

SUBJECT: SCANDAL BREWING OVER NIGERIAN FUEL IMPORTS

Classified By: J. GREGOIRE FOR REASONS 1.5 (B), (D), AND (E).

¶1. (C) SUMMARY. A scandal is brewing in Nigeria over prices paid by the government for imported fuel. International fuel traders have been falsifying the dates of bills of lading to reflect particularly high market prices, overcharging the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) by $300 million or more. END SUMMARY.



¶2. (C N/F) On April 2, Chris Finlayson, Chairman and Managing Director of Shell Petroleum Development Corporation of Nigeria (SPDC), told Consul General and Econoff that a scandal is brewing within the NNPC over payments made to international fuel marketers. Finlayson said some marketers have been changing the dates when fuel shipments bound for Nigeria were loaded in order to take advantage of particularly high market prices. He said the total overpayment by NNPC may be as high as $330 million. Finlayson noted that Shell is not one of the marketers in question, but is becoming a leading fuel supplier for NNPC.

¶3. (C N/F) On April 6, Femi Otedola, President and CEO of Zenon Petroleum and Gas, the largest supplier of diesel fuel in Nigeria, essentially corroborated Finlayson's report. Otedola said over $300 million has been overpaid by NNPC for fuel imports, and that many leading international traders are involved. According to Otedola, NNPC contracts to pay its suppliers the market price on the day a ship is loaded with fuel. He said NNPC recently discovered, however, that bills of lading were altered to reflect loading on days of high market prices. Discrepancies were found when comparing dates on the bills of lading with dates of landing in Lagos.

¶4. (C N/F) Pointing to examples, Otedola said that while a tanker loading fuel at a refinery in Bahrain usually takes four weeks to arrive in Lagos, comparisons between the bills of lading and dates of arrival of some shipments reflected only a four-day difference, and in other cases, if taken at face value, indicated the journey took nine months. Otedola said 73 shipments from refineries in the Persian Gulf, England, and Venezuela listed delivery times of only one day. NNPC is attempting to get compensation for the over-charge. Otedola went on that most of the fuel traders supplying Nigeria are implicated in over-charging NNPC, and showed a list of 17 companies that supplied fuel in the first quarter of 2004, several of which, he said, are significant players in international markets, such as Trafigura and Vitol. Otedola added that three companies clearly not involved in the scandal are British Petroleum, ChevronTexaco and Shell.

¶5. (C N/F) Otedola recommended that NNPC stop contracting with international fuel traders and negotiate purchases directly from refineries worldwide. According to him, such a move would have two positive effects. Otedola calculates that NNPC would save some four billion dollars a year in expenditures on imported fuel. (Note: Prior to deregulation in October 2003, NNPC, then the sole importer of fuel, lost two billion dollars per year because it sold stock to retailers below purchase price. After October 2003, NNPC initially stopped subsidizing fuel sales, letting marketers import fuel to be sold at market prices. However, sources agree that NNPC is back in the business of subsidizing gasoline sales while it maintains a facade of deregulation by encouraging private marketers to import fuel that NNPC purchases at market price. NNPC then sells the fuel to marketers and retailers at a reduced price to ensure that those companies maintain a profit margin while holding consumer prices to informal caps set by the Department of Petroleum Resources. End Note.)

¶6. (C N/F) Otedola added that by cutting out the international traders, NNPC would also enhance the environment in which Nigeria's refineries could be restored and operated. Otedola said he believes international fuel trade "mafias" are behind the failure to bring Nigeria's refineries back on-line and to capacity. Otedola is convinced these traders arrange for the vandalization of crude oil feeder pipelines, which keep the refineries at Port Harcourt, Warri and Kaduna closed or under-capacity. He said the international traders generally receive at least one million dollars per shipload of fuel to Nigeria and have grown accustomed to the easy money Nigeria offers as long its refineries remain down.

¶7. (C N/F) As an example, Otedola described an arrangement the National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) had with Sahara Energy for the provision of diesel to an emergency power generation plant in Abuja. He said that while a pipeline was under construction to deliver fuel to the main power plant,

NEPA paid some five billion dollars to Sahara over four years for diesel to the back-up plant. It was later discovered that NEPA had received only about one billion dollars worth of fuel, according to Otedola. Otedola said that he, too, was contracted to deliver diesel fuel to the plant on occasion; however, he petitioned the president to investigate the matter after becoming suspicious of NEPA's ongoing contract with Sahara and the fact that the pipeline for the power plant was never finished. He said his intervention led to an investigation that ultimately resulted in the cancellation of NEPA's contract with Sahara.

¶8. (C N/F) COMMENT: The allegation that international traders bilked NNPC of hundreds of millions of dollars is yet another example of the poor management of Nigeria's energy sector, and highlights the complex links between crude sales, fuel importation, refinery maintenance, and energy production here. Otedola is probably right in suggesting that long-standing sweetheart deals between the NNPC and a variety of fuel traders is keeping the system inefficient. That may also explain why the GON just can't seem to get its refineries running even after spending a billion dollars or more on maintenance contracts over the last four years. Otedola said he initially bid to purchase the Port Harcourt refinery offered for privatization, but he recently told President Obasanjo he will not invest in the refinery so long as NNPC purchases fuel from traders instead of negotiating directly with refineries in other countries and leasing ships itself to deliver fuel to Nigeria. It is not clear if Otedola's assumption that the international traders' stake in Nigeria's current fuel market is the main driver behind the country's refinery woes. But it is clear that the fundamentals of infrastructure security, interim supply stability, and transactional transparency must still be addressed if the GON is to be taken seriously about its efforts to deregulate and largely privatize Nigeria's downstream petroleum sector. END COMMENT. HINSON-JONES

http://theeagleonline.com.ng/index.php/home/news/487-the-fraud-nigerians-are-subsidising-wikileaks

Truly a remarkable video if I must say so, actualy had it downloaded on my phone so I can watch it severaly without being restricted, come to think of it, thats the only music video ive found worthy of being on my memory card!, it is that good!