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DHead's Posts

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Jokes Etc / Re: What Gender Is Computer? by DHead(m): 6:26pm On Jun 04, 2009
tytylayor:

*passing*
Passing 2 where? Ur computer na man or woman? no dodge d question.
Jokes Etc / Re: What Gender Is Computer? by DHead(m): 6:21pm On Jun 04, 2009
v3nom4eva:

@Dhead. . .

Werin b ur own na?
My b say u dey post ur joke 4 d wrong thread.
D computer u dey use na man or woman? Ans d question now!!!
Jokes Etc / You Are Collecting: Free Of Charge by DHead(m): 5:56pm On Jun 04, 2009
Two guys where driving (their father's car) along a street at night  looking for girls to take home 4 d night. Dey got to a street n saw so many girls (prostitudes) lined up with diff kinds of dressing jst 2 entice d men, n with diff prices ranging from N100, N200, N300,  etc per night. Den one of the girls shouted "Mine is free of charge." Since dey where not with enough money, without a second thought dey went 4 d 'free of charge.'

Hop in, dey said, n within seconds d girl was in sitted at d back with one of dem. Off dey went.

Without formal or informal introduction, d guy started romancing d girl. She never said a word neither did she hesitate. He was suprised n asked d girl
Guy: what am I doing?
Girl: You are romancing me. She said.
Guy: Uh! she knos!!- He thought.

He started shawering her with kisses n she never said no, rather, she was responding. Astonished, he was.
Guy: I've not seen such an understanding lady like dis b4.

He dcided to ask 4 d second time:
Guy: what am I doing?
Girl: You are kissing me.
Guy: Ooooooh! so submissive he thought again.

Straight away he pulled, undressed d lady n started d marathon. 90% in2 d act, he dcided 2 ask again
Guy: what am I doing?
Girl: You-you-you, ' she stuttles,
Guy: I'm what? he shouted
Girl: You are collecting.
Guy: Collecting what - now in fear
Girl: Collecting go, go,  go,
Guy: I said what -trembling in fear,
Girl: Collecting gonorhea free of charge
Guy: Eeeeeh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don die ooo!!!


Bcareful of "Free of Charge" Awuf dey purge!!!
Jokes Etc / Re: What Gender Is Computer? by DHead(m): 5:15pm On Jun 04, 2009
Ben20001:

V3nom don post e joke for wrong thread cheesy
U don do anoda 1 - Wrong thread.
Jokes Etc / Re: A Confused And Complicated World Dat Can Make One Mad by DHead(m): 4:59pm On Jun 04, 2009
Ben20001:

the two dey use different types of copy and paste
I did not copy n paste from any body;
Bside, I never read ble own b4.
Jokes Etc / A Confused And Complicated World Dat Can Make One Mad by DHead(m): 10:14am On Jun 04, 2009
When d Kenyan Health Minister, Charity Ngilu, visited Mathare Hosp, she dcided 2 at least, have a chat with 1 of d patients. Dey looked around 4 one who was not so violent to talk with d minister.

When he was brought 2 her, d Minister ask d question 'How did u get here? What was d nature of ur illness?'
She got d following reply:

"Wel, it all started wen I got married n I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown up daughter; who den became my stepmother.

My dad came 2 visit us, fell in love with my stepdaughter, then married her. And so, my stepdaughter was now, my stepmother. Soon my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is d half brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course my daddy's wife.

So, as I told u, when my stepdaughter married my dad, she was at once, my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As u kno, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't 4get dat my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember too dat I am my wife's grandson.
But hold on just a few minutes more. U see, since I'm married 2 my step-grandmother, I am not only d wife's grandson n her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather.
Now can u understand how I got put in this place?"
Jokes Etc / Re: What Gender Is Computer? by DHead(m): 9:26am On Jun 04, 2009
D1KeleVra:

i still dey find the joke'
Check wel u go see d joke but asn d ques:
'What gender is Computer'
Jokes Etc / What Gender Is Computer? by DHead(m): 8:57pm On Jun 03, 2009
A spanish teacher was xplaing 2 her class dat in Spanish unlike English, nouns are disignated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is a feminine, "la casa", "pencil" however, is masculine, "el lapiz."
A studet ask, "what gender is computer?" instead of giving the answer she split d class into two, male & female, and ask them to decidefor themselves whether computer should be masculine or feminine noun.
Each group was ask to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definately b of d feminine gender, {"la computadora"}, b/cos

1. No one but their creator undastands their internal logic;
2. D native language dey use 2 communicate wif oda computers is incomprehensible 2 every 1 else;
3. Even d smallest mistake are stored in long term memory 4 posibu later retrieval; n
4. As soon as u make a commitment 2 One, u find urself spending 1/2 ur pay cheque n accessories 4 it. (this gets better).

D women's grup however, concluded dat computers should b masculine ("el computador"wink, bcoz:

1. in order 2 do anythin wif dem, u ve 2 turn dem on.;
2. dey ve alot of data but still cannot think 4 demselves;
3. dey're suppose 2 help u sove problems but half of d time, dey are d problem;
4. as soon as u commit 2 1, u realise dat if u had waited a little longer, u could ve gotten a better model.

Who won?
Jokes Etc / Re: See Doctor Run With Person Pregnant Wife by DHead(m): 8:15pm On Jun 03, 2009
Abbygyal:

chai dis is lame embarassed
Not only lame, me I dey vex because it's blind, deaf infact a dead joke.
@ Poster
No d kind thin u dey post or, angry angry
Romance / Re: Is Sorry Hard For You To Say? by DHead(m): 8:51pm On Jun 02, 2009
I think every wise person should find it easy to say "I'm sorry."

It's only d pride n arrogant who when dey are wrong, cannot accpet it n say "sorry"
Dat word "sorry" heals, calms n restors a lot of -ve things.
Jokes Etc / Re: Dani Wer You Go Since by DHead(m): 8:58pm On Jun 01, 2009
tonye-t:

dani u 4get to clean ur yansh wen you sheit for my toilet angry

u think say i go flush that sheit there? angry

Y u no wan flush d sheit? abi him no pay u 4 d last one u flush?
Fashion / Re: Are Guys More Fashionable Than Girls? by DHead(m): 8:49pm On Jun 01, 2009
echezz:

mess fashion! wear simple t-shirt, jeans, sandals and have yourself a heavy wallet and every girl will think you the most fashionable .
You want to dress dat way to ur office (Bank) on Monday? Disgrace.

I think it's 60/40. Men are more fashionable.
Romance / Re: The Real Things Women Want From Men Aside Money by DHead(m): 6:12pm On May 28, 2009
from my observation, I think apart 4rm money women want so many other things in men like:
Love, Understanding, Respect, Faithfulnes to their relationship, not a man who'll be complaining all d time.
Jokes Etc / Re: Dani Wer You Go Since by DHead(m): 5:12pm On May 28, 2009
Ben20001:

dani don't make me angry o. I still have that kind of heart I had 24yrs ago o
Ben, u wan cry
Jokes Etc / Re: Dani Wer You Go Since by DHead(m): 5:09pm On May 28, 2009
Ben20001:

the dani of a guy still dey talk sef
How im no go talk, u no see as im mouth dey like kpomo tongue
Jokes Etc / Re: Dani Wer You Go Since by DHead(m): 5:01pm On May 28, 2009
Ben20001:

D Head of Niger delta boiz is getting pissed off sha
ben, Benson abi na sentmoris if u try me I go kidnap u for nothin cool cool
Jokes Etc / Re: Dani Wer You Go Since by DHead(m): 4:47pm On May 28, 2009
bblacky:

Him don join d Niger Delta Boys
Watin Niger Delter Boys do?
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 6:29pm On May 27, 2009
sylve11:

Honestly, b4 i will start anything with u , i'll need the approbation from ma ololumi and ma mom. If they say fire down, then Nairaland no go contain both of us, i swear. cool
u don 1st start already. no fear. jst rlax ur mind nothin dey happen
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 6:18pm On May 27, 2009
teissys:

Yeah, ryt
Sha-sha-sharap ur mouth.
Ur mouth be like Yeah, ryt
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 6:04pm On May 27, 2009
@ Sylve11
I no b George Finidi ooo

If I put my pix u go send ur sis afta me.
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 5:59pm On May 27, 2009
@ tytylayor
I'm not surprise at ur response.
I check ur prof n pix. Pple dey face front snap pix but ur own na back- Very -ve person.
See as u put ur face inside phone like say u no dey see  cheesy   cheesy
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 5:41pm On May 27, 2009
@ Sylve11
I don check ur profile n ur pix. U keep bushy hair like dos fulanis wey dey rare cow inside bush tongue
Jokes Etc / Re: Saying Or Not Saying by DHead(m): 3:18pm On May 27, 2009
@ Poster
d mama na roged one cool
She kno Whatz up cool cool
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 3:01pm On May 27, 2009
jst watch out!!! grin grin
Jokes Etc / Re: Girls Night Out: by DHead(m): 1:34pm On May 27, 2009
@Poster
Sweat n dry embarassed

U mean u don't ve anythin better
Romance / Re: My Story by DHead(m): 8:58pm On May 21, 2009
@ Poster
Davidcares, I ve jst 1 guestion for u n I demand u give me a sincere ans b4 I'll say any thing more.

Since u started dating dat girl, can u tel me dat u've never slept with or even kiss another girl

Ans: yes or no.

Na there i go no watin to talk
Nairaland / General / Re: What Do Guys Carry In Their Pockets? by DHead(m): 8:42pm On May 20, 2009
George_D, I see dat u're one of those men who carry Cs in their pocket.
where do u want to go afta now? I mean, u d expect any show
Family / Re: How Can I Say No To This Babe Without Offending Her by DHead(m): 4:50pm On May 20, 2009
@Dhead, na true e dey talkoooooooooo wink, @ post if u dey send person dat kind amount it is well with u, but i wan tell u say make u send the last mony give am and quit this ridiculuos game haba monkey dey work baboon dey shop cry O boy tellam make she find something doing and stop all dat cock and bull story embarassed u don try so far leave d rest for her to complete, God wount hold u responsible cool enough is enough for d wise cool cool
Family / Re: How Can I Say No To This Babe Without Offending Her by DHead(m): 1:52pm On May 20, 2009
Na wa-o-o!!!  shocked
Wonda sha never end!
Only u do all dos thins 2 some thing u don't knw if it's human or not? Well done bros.
Don't worry, ur reward is in heaven. ans amen!  grin

Well if na true think 2wice! i maen 3rice evn 4ice.!!!! 
Make i ask: You dey go church?
If yes 'pray to ur God' 4 wisdom.

It's not out of place 2 help someone u don't kno; but if it is becoming dat u borrow jst 2 please her or you don't have enough, tel her 'I'm sorry I don't ve and i believe if its a reasonable girl or thing, she'll understand.
Don't please her to displease urself-dat's eye service!!!
Nairaland / General / Re: What Do Guys Carry In Their Pockets? by DHead(m): 10:18am On May 20, 2009
men carry many things in their pockets like cigerate, condoms, etc.

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