Poster22:
Democrats 1 : 0 Republicans

Who says this is a fight between Republicans and Democrats
Don't insinuate what isn't the issue.

The same problem we have in Nigeria, add salts to wound with comments without any real proofs.

Carcholce:
Brother Bernard, what were you expecting?


Nigerians have too much entitlement mentality. They paid you for your services. You terminated your services and still expect the benefits to remain? What if they need the room for their new employee?

The moment you resigned, you should have moved out within the next days and find your root.


Happy birthday or not, it will not stop you from seeing next year and achieving your goals. Pack out of that room and face reality.

I respect the fact that you're being logical but that's why we have another side to responses, which entails consideration and empathy.

While it is true we're in a world where people can behave anyhow, I don't think it's entitlement to expect some form of consideration from people he's worked with for that long.
Mind you, if you read well, you'd find out that he's no ordinary teacher and has contributed value significantly. You can also notice that he talked about the sudden negative behaviour of his boss towards him ...he also stated that her husband was initially okay with it and gave him advice.

Truth be told, they acted wickedly. Even if they didn't want him to stay that long, they would have given a few months to make arrangements and leave.

Let's stop encouraging the fact that because he was paid for his services, he then has entitlement mentality for wanting to stay a little longer to sort himself out. Is he staying there for free?

Nevertheless, it serves as a lesson that alot of people we look up to do not have our success in mind. They wish you stay under them forever.

Looking at the number of likes your comments have, it's clear that we're seriously in trouble because we believe money exchange suffices for every contribution or value we give in life.

Lastly, he had to learn the hard way to have a proper plan and not to be too dependent/expect much from people because they're after all humans.

Monman56:
I have very high specifications I want from my to be woman and I know its difficult to find. What point did you decide to settle for Character over beauty or did you get the high requirements you wanted.

No insults please

Well, I don't know what your high expectations or standards are but make sure you're the right person for such high standards because some people want what they can't give.

Also, I believe you can get what you're looking for except you're looking for it in wrong places or the wrong way.


As touching character and beauty, you can never get enough of beauty. There's always someone "more beautiful" (physically) but one the other end beauty is in the eye of the beholder because I've seen people call someone beautiful and another set of people oppose such remark. That's the world for you


Personally, I admire and appreciate beauty but I cannot be moved by it. I've grown in understanding to know that it's just physical appearance because there are alot of beautiful people that will disappoint you after you interact with them. Their understanding is terrible, their perspective of life is so rubbish. Many of them struggle in their own personal issues.

I believe there are and have seen beautiful people with good character.

You can have both but I recommend that people stop acting impulsively whenever they see beautiful people.
Instead, they should interact and get to know them better before making decisions. Some beautiful ladies are not worth your time or investment (any kind)

IT'S NOT CHARACTER OVER BEAUTY PER SE, IT'S CHARACTER BEFORE BEAUTY (The right progression).

There's nothing wrong Sir

Except you mean some other form of relationships, You have no business being in a romantic relationship (forming such strong emotional bond) without an end in mind which is marriage.

Of course I'm aware many people enter into romantic relationships for different reasons outside of marriage and it's very wrong.

Love = passion + pleasure + Sacrifice + Commitment.

Also, there are other things to do to find love and happiness apart from being in a relationship. So pls re-orient yourself

Go to the orphanage minister to the children, help someone, be kind and also recieve love but it must not necessarily be within the context of a romantic relationship

Oga, you said she disrespects you alot and you want to get married?

I don't understand you o
Is she not supposed to show outsiders how her man ought to be respected

It's your call..do what you like

One more thing
Calling her father to ask such questions is inconsequential within this context..find another reason.

Merch:
Putin is greater than ojukwu and peter obi combined

You're a fool to make mockery of some people because they are not your tribesman.

It's also disappointing that you can have an unstructured thinking pattern that produces speeches out of context and are irrelevant at the end of the day.

Learn to speak well and know what to say at every given time.
You're a human being and if you engage in dirty tribal talks such as this, you're revealing your level of ignorance and that you're untransformed to fit properly into society for true global relevance.

Instead of bringing balance, you initiate confusion...you think you're superior for saying such or because you come from somewhere else? Far from it.

You have a good conscience that's why you felt bad... I understand.
People make mistakes sometimes and from what I read your outburst is not really out of disrespect but tied to the fact those things he said was affecting your mind and you couldn't bear.
Your father is just acting out his level of mental transformation... it's fine. That's why you're there, to be better. So don't be hard oh him.
Imagine you had children that surpass you in ideology and turn it to disrespect.


Handle him with wisdom


Paying for rent is something you should be happy about...it shows you're able to take on certain responsibilities from him as a son. It's progress and I celebrate you.

Nevertheless, go to him as a father and just apologize except you really have ego and that's not a good thing. Saying sorry when necessary doesn't hurt, it shows you're a person of character and humble but let him know that you know you didn't do well returning that late and you'd work on it but he should stop using certain words and talking about how other perceive you because you don't really like it.

80% of issues longer because people don't want to communicate.
I trust you'll do the right thing.
From what I see you're a good man!
Kudos!

Dear brother,
Don't mind some of these negative comments.

You need help. That's simple.
You know it and you don't need to come here seeking people's opinion.

The journey is quite far from what I read but if you're willing to end this stuff , you can.
The question lies in if you're really ready.
From what I see, you don't intend to stop pornography and masturbation. Your only concern is having sex with a woman.

Well, every action has a consequence(s) that you most times don't have control over.

I hope you find a solution to your problem the way you want it but I doubt.

The solution you're looking for will demand that you drop somethings and concentrate on total wholeness.
Seriously pornography offers nothing good, it's a hack on your mind to a terrible end.

NB: If you intend to build a healthy relationship in the future, you should start ontime. You're in no shape for a healthy relationship right now. Take it or pass.. no quarrel!

Well, I didn't need to got through all of them but I know one thing...the aim is to destroy family which is the bedrock of a society.
Young people don't know they're being programmed for disaster unconsciously.
Funny enough the human vessels that convey theses News don't know what they're doing is contributing to disaster as long as they get the reactions and feedback they want.


The truth remains that there are good marriages everywhere. True no marriage is free for quarrel but not as toxic as they make it look.
If you feed on these evil news all the time you're programming yourself for disaster in time because for everyone you meet you'd have suspicion no matter how genuine they seem. Even when there's nothing to worry about you'd worry and you'll just be living without peace and that's where devil wants you to be.

There's nothing new under the sun.
There is a defined path to a successful relationship/marriage/family life . It only depends on what you decide to believe and expose yourself to.
Countless genuine materials out there to feed on.
So guard your hearts else you'll be influenced by nonsense.

We've come to the point that if someone said my marriage is a bliss, he or she would be tagged a liar.

we expect bad things unconsciously.
Let's be careful o

Well, I don't care what anyone says.
Their experiences are bespoke to them.

With Intentionality you can and would have a good relationship if you want to.

T for thanks

Islie:
‘Now I Rely On Sex Work To Survive,’ Newly Recruited Nigeria Female Police Constable Laments Non-payment Of Unpaid Salaries



https://saharareporters.com/2023/06/05/now-i-rely-sex-work-survive-newly-recruited-nigeria-female-police-constable-laments-non

There's no excuse for immorality just to make money. The world is full of people that have faced terrible situations and still decided to follow genuine ways to earn a living. This is just nonsense!

Stop making excuses for yours terrible behaviour. Terrible situations drove alot of people to build great things today we all admire.
Nevertheless, there are two kinds of people. Those who will see challenges, use It as an excuse for living warwardly and those who will brace up, use it as a drive to breakthrough in Life.
In reality, in the midst of problems and challenges there's always an opportunity. Challenges Creates hidden opportunities only few can see

Parachoko:
Person wey dey earn 30k in a month no need generator

See eh, subsidy is gone for good

Person wey dey earn 30k and get car and generator should sell them or stop using them. So he or she will have enough money to spend on transport fare

tonywonder:


Why will you say so? Even if they do not deserve to have a car, they need fuel to power their generators....

And if they were spending N500 on transport fare in a day, it will increase to N800 or even N1000.

Good governance should affect the common man and not the elites! The poor and average constitutes majority of population in the country.

iInjureHerYansh:
Seems like comprehension is a really difficult thing for you or you are the hasty type that don't pay attention but just jump into conclusion. Where did I generalize?
Is majority same as all?
Sounding like you are dating one of those nairaland evening newspapers. Trying to defend women unnecessarily to impress her?
lol

Well, I'm kinda disappointed with your response here. It was very insultive. You could have made corrections without being that extreme. I guess you don't receive people's opinions well.
It is well!

iInjureHerYansh:
Told this girl I have been seeing lately to stop asking me for money if she really care about me and I haven't heard from her since then Where are the people that say women can date if money isn't involved?
Well not all women are after money but majority of our girls are doing this dating thing for survival.

Relationship has to be transactional or she moves. The earlier you realize all the sweet name calling and things she's been doing for you is cos you have money to give her the earlier you will know how to stand.


I always see every lady as someone who doesn't love me for me but for my assets, until she proves otherwise. It has saved me a lot.
This lady I just talked about is another point of reference.

You can also try it with the girl you are seeing now and see for yourself if you doubt me.

Well, you might have a point there but you didn't approach it properly. She probably hasn't spoken to you because your approach was rude and insultive and she wanted to save the little self respect she had left.

A better approach would have been not to send or give her money for a long time when she asked .. I mean just decline rather than saying it straight to her face (that's kinda insultive and spell outrightly what you think about her)
You method was very not right! (Wrong).

.quote author=tomi4life post=122408712]I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.[/quote]





Greetings Sir,

Uhmm I celebrate your tolerance and patience.
I hope you read this.

I believe the problem started with not taking out time to know each other well during courtship but that's a past issue.

Personally, I believe counselling will have the possibility of 50% success .

Here is my advice and before you do this, call your wife one more time, sit down and tell her all these you've said to us. Do it with an open mind and let her know she has the right to dispute anything you say but with proper valid reasons because the way you see things may not be the way she sees it. Make sure she tells you why she's behaving that way and ask her what she wants you to do.
After you've done this, I believe you'd know what to do. It might not work but do this before you embark on the next thing I'm about to say.


Seeing that she's devoted to religious activities (although she lives in a lot of ignorance as touching what her faith demands she do as a wife), it means that there's something/someone she listens to. No one is void of influence and one advice to people getting into marriage is to check to know if there's anyone their partner listens to. Someone who your partner respects alot and cannot go against no matter what they think because of the honour they have for them. Someone who can call them to order and make them rethink their actions because sometimes, problems can come up that can't be solved easily until someone that he /she listens to or respects alot calls them to order.

Take out time to find out who, both men and women. It may be just be 2, 1 or even more but I'm sure they're not much. make sure that person is someone she honors alot and listens to. While doing this, be prayerful and trust God for wisdom that I may not be able to trap in my writings now.
When you find that person, speak to the person, pour our your grievances and let that person speak to her. Things should get better if she really listens to anyone.
If it persists , tell her parents but remember I said talk to her first.

If after all these nothing positive happens, consult an expert and take necessary actions.
I wouldn't recommend this on a good day but if you tried everything I have pened down and you don't see changes and you can't be patient for a long time because it takes a very long time for some people to realize the wrong they've done but it requires a very patient partner. If you can't be patient and you still see the need to have a woman in your life to perform certain duties for you , go marry another wife. Since you don't believe in divorce, seeing how she's mentioned dissolving the marriage, you should prayerfully consider it if it comes to that no way out point. No extra marital affairs pls.
But make sure you do all I've pened down.

Umm one more thing, you didn't do well in terms of how responsibilities are shared in the house. The fact that you're carrying almost everything is a NO NO and you're helping to spoil her.

Share the responsibilities since she earns well. Take the major ones but make sure she gets a share of the responsibilities of the house. Never make that mistake of carrying everything on you when she is capable enough to share the burden.


I hope you sort this out soon
My prayers are with you.

dazzlingd:


You are absolutely correct.
I’m not a bad belle , but this marriage will not last 10 years

Sorry bro, you're not correct at all.
Your response shows that you don't understand somethings. Many people have married at such age and are still doing very well. It depends on some basic factors not their age necessarily as long as they're past 19/20.

Your ideology may be just based on your level of exposure to marriages that have failed in the long run maybe because the couples were young.
Nevertheless, it doesn't validate that it is the norms for all.

There are numerous exceptions.
Apart from financial stability to a level, a working marriage thrives more on understanding between both couples and willingness to learn and conform/grow together

Rokiat:
I wish them well but not an easy journey ahead. 30
Is when you really get to know yourself and what you really want. I really hope they have a strong healthy guidance because the person you are at 20 is not who you will be at 30. You evolved. Many people married in their 20s and by the time they hit their 30s they realised they are fu…ck this is not what they envisioned.






If they are willing to put in the work they



can make it work. I wish them
Well.

Well, that's not true. 30 is not the time you really get to know yourself.
Many people have already started walking in purpose and being very intentional about their lives at a younger age .
There are many people who are younger but more matured in understanding and life that aged people. There's no benchmark as long as you're past 18.
It's a product of transformation which in turn is a result of your level of exposure and application not just to live but to working principles of life.
For someone that's very teachable and ready to learn from the right sources. 2 yrs is enough to scale heights in understanding life that an average man can't get to.

So there's no benchmark
Besides age doesn't guarantee your success in marriage. Maturity and willing to learn and grow does.

T for thanks

Omoawoke:
A typical case of if I don’t have it, no one will have it.

Very wicked devilish people

Them go cry tire

Funny enough the opposite is the case.
That's what has been playing out and is still playing out in government today and it was clearly seen during the election process.

beerfraud:
These IPOB terrorists are in severe pain

The problem of people like you is that you're too blind to see.
Your thinking is messed up.
I see the number of likes and it's clear that you guys will repeat the same mistakes of your fathers.
You have nothing to offer Nigeria.

Are they carrying guns
You think IPOB would come to Abuja and the place wouldn't be filled with all kinds of security.
Don't people have right to protest again?

Can you see how smelling your thinking is?