₦airaland Forum

@tpia
Here, I'm just numbering what you won't be told as a virgin.
When it comes to the life after the wedding, of course, the women of your house (aunts, granmas and co) will tell you all about how the husband will reduce the money he has been giving you and how you should endure all he shoves your way!!!
They will also tell you to look the other way when he's tricking, as long as he takes care of you. They will tell you that; Ile Oko, ile eko!!

That's why I'm not wasting time on that, since it will be hammered well into them during 'advice time'.

@pendo89

now the duck part. Lips sealed Lips sealed
be helped by your maker. Grin

@Mrs Chima
A friend of mine told me lube made everything that much easier. Apart from my first hand info from her, it's a well known medical fact. The place gets dry sometimes and then, your lube comes in handy! Husbands of virgins actually need the advice since they're gonna be forging into 'virgin territory'.  

Mrs Chima. . .

This was a very tongue-in-cheek write-up. Just playing around.
But really, would anyone want the hotel they staying at, laundering their blood-stained sheets? 
And yes, some women walk like ducks after the first night and YES, new couples especially christians attend a thanksgiving service the sunday after the wedding!

1. If really you are a first rate virgin, then you might find s.ex very messy. A lot of fluids accompanied with musky smells are involved.
Prepare yourself psychologically for the 'four S'; sweat, slimy se.men, saliva and the strong smell of s.ex especially if you're the squeamish type that can easily get irritated!
2. Get a towel or bed sheet of your own to spread on the honeymoon hotel bed (except you want to stay awake washing hotel sheets of blood stains when you should be resting).
3. Make your man get a lube before the deed is done (easily found in any pharmaceutical). It makes things a whole lot easier and reduces chances of you walking like a duck during Sunday thanksgiving.
4. Now you are married, you need to rid yourself of the notion that sex is sinful.  
5. Read books that help you get better sexually. Keep the se.x dirty and your home clean!



Now, this addendum is for some men who think vaseline counts as a lubricant, hate to burst your bubble, IT IS NOT!!

Sometimes, in the contempt familiarity breeds; we forget what it is that attracted us to our partners in the first place. We fight, argue, scrape and mince, leaving our loved ones feeling unappreciated and unloved.
It is time to remember again, people. It is time to go down memory lane; It is time to remember that look, that dimple, that smile, that swag/strut, that attitude. . . .
Gentlemen, remember what got you hooked? What made you chyke that chick? What takes you home to her every night, that makes you smile when you think of her, that makes your heart pound when you hear her voice, and makes you want to wife her, safely away from the reach of other prowling males?
Ladies, what is it about him that makes you want to cater to his every need, that makes you want to have his babies, that makes you look at him proudly as you tell yourself; "That's my baby", that makes you want to bite every chick you see in his vicinity. . .lol.
To cut the long story short, list here what you love about your partner and make sure you tell it to them them next time you see. Keep safe, zeepop. ONE LOVE!

^^
Ok. Gotta admit, I'm in Love with love and loving!

^old enuf to write it?

Ok then. Wish u da best with your search!

^^^Throwing a tantrum, are we?

@pure ohio.
I'm a big believer in love. That's why its my concern.

@190
Not sorry I'm taken

There's serious lack of romance in this section. This is more serious than I thought! All you've been talking about is se.x and more s.ex!

Isn't there anybody posting about their loved one!?!

Nope! The guy's not here. So there u are!

I'm just trying to be romantic, ok? Puhleeeez!!

I'm female, of course. Whats confusing about that? Do I sound like a she-male or something?

*sighs*
Ok. I hear you.
So,
What do you think about my 'big up' to my boo. (As a fellow man), do you think a man would appreciate that?

^^
tut tut.
*shakes head and mutters*
Gosh, some men are so unromantic!

@190
What did you do that for?
Anyway, I believe you're a believer, that's why you came into this thread. So holla your girl, ok? Make her feel good!

Big B
I’ve been hurt before. I know what it means to be in an abusive relationship filled with fear and tears and terror and manipulation. I know how it feels like, to be suppressed; to quake in sheer terror at the sight of the one who is supposed to shelter me; me being the fragile woman that I am.
But with you, I am safe. You inspire me to be better, and my dreams are so dangerously close to becoming reality; because you help me reach for them. You are not threatened by my successes, you are so secure in who you are and it makes me feel secure with you. Because I’m a happy woman, I make you a happy man.
I admire your honesty and your integrity. I love how you inspire my admiration and respect; you have earned it with your love and care.
It’s not easy loving me and I am grateful to have you by my side.
I see you hustling hard for us and I feel proud of my hardworking man. You just don’t talk the talk; you back it up with the appropriate actions; and I tell myself, that’s my dependable man right there. I see you walk with that distinct swag, and I tell myself; ‘chei, see bloke!’ and I’m so glad and thankful that you’re all mine.
You had my back right from day one and that s a fact. I love everything about you; the way you walk, the mild way you talk to me, the way you are so passionate about the things you set your mind on and I see that same passion seeping into my relationship with you, our future family, our future kids. I love how you help me get better in my relationship with God.
I pray for you more than I pray for myself, because God forbid anything happening to you, my life will never be the same.
Our relationship is not perfect, but you are the imperfect man who is perfect for me and I am the imperfect woman fitting perfectly as your lost rib. You are more than just my man. You are my best friend and I love you.

The name ‘Romance’ is supposed to evoke enthusiasm, passion, ardor and eroticism. After all, the Koko master himself said “don’t get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing”.
Here in Nairaland however, it gets ugly, nasty, warped and perverse. Romance is now about men complaining and lamenting about their BB babes and the ladies are not slacking too; talking about ‘severe beatings’ in the hands of men who should be cherishing them. Some have even taken it to another level by claiming that all women like being beaten.
I’m a believer, however, in having a good, responsible man in my life. And I believe that there are also some people out there who have significant others they love, respect and cherish. If you’ve got a good man or a good woman in your life, please holla them here. Let them know you appreciate them; let them know what you love about them.
If you’re single, you could still type what you feel you will like about a potential partner. Who knows, one day, you might come across this thread again, and you’ll be thankful because what you wrote down came to be.
In this thread, we don't have time to bash each other. We believe in love and the intimacy that comes with it.
Please, let’s bring romance back into the Romance Section!!!

^^bfly toh bahd!

brb pls!

Its the guy that can provide you with the answers you seek. Besides, when a guy is covertly hasty *talking marriage in a week* something's fishy.

All the best, Mrs Chima. Don't push too hard, and take little breaths between pushes.