₦airaland Forum

A medical expert, Christian Omojefe, has revealed that fasting can promote fertility, enhance weight loss and also boost brain cells and immunity.
Omojefe, a medical practitioner with specialization in General Medicine, made this known on Sunday in Port Harcourt, during a lecture on the ‘Medical Benefits of Fasting’.

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/fasting-promotes-fertility-says-medical-expert/

Speaking as the resource person, he described ‘Fasting’ as a “healthy medical exercise” and urged Christians to engage in it.
He also advised them to go for routine medical checkups for early detection and treatment of ailments.

CC: lalasticlala,sihilove

dukie25:
Halliburton scandal loading

?

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo, has described the agitation for the creation of Biafra as an agitation born in error and ignorance.


He stated this while speaking as a guest speaker at a public discussion on Biafra which was organised by Nextier Advisory in Abuja today January 15th.

"Biafra as a secession issue is dead, and nobody should follow that way. I see it as a platform rather than a cause. The agitation was born in error and ignorance. There is the commercialisation of the Biafran agitation, which is criminal. For example, the issuance of so called Biafran passport which takes on nowhere. Biafra agitation is as an industry; a means of making money. Biafra agitation is a hopeless and futile exercise of which nobody should embark on.”he said

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/biafran-agitation-was-born-in-error-and-ignorance-obasanjo/

Nigerian international and Watford striker Odion Ighalo has been named the Premier League’s player of the month for December and Quique Sanchez Flores bagged the managerial award to give Watford a notable double.

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/odion-ighalo-bags-premier-league-player-of-the-month-award/

1. You’ll sleep better

Shedding your threads before tucking in will help you snooze more soundly, says Men’s Health sleep advisor W. Christopher Winter, M.D. Your body temperature declines as you doze and climbs before you wake up, but clothing can interfere with this natural fluctuation, Dr. Winter says. The extra insulation can make you too hot as your temperature drops, leading to tossing and turning and waking up sweaty in the middle of the night. Nix the PJs and allow your body temperature to ebb and flow uninterrupted, Dr. Winter says.

2. You’ll ignite your metabolism

Staying cool throughout the night may help rev your metabolism, according to a 2014 study in the journal Diabetes. Researchers found that when people slept in a chilly room, they produced double the volume of brown fat—a healthy fat stored in your neck that burns calories to generate body heat—compared to when they slept in a warmer room. Keeping your body temperature lower by sleeping nude could produce the same effect, says study author Francesco S. Celi, M.D.

3. You’ll protect your testicles

Sleeping in your underwear increases the odds that you’ll get an infection in the worst possible place, says Brian Steixner, M.D., a urologist based in Atlantic City, N.J. Your drawers keep heat and moisture in—and bacteria thrive in warm, moist environments, says Dr. Steixner. More bacteria makes for a higher likelihood that any chaffed or irritated skin down there becomes infected, he says. Skip your skivvies to keep your balls cleaner, drier, and healthier.

4. You’ll nurture your sperm

Your scrotum needs to be just the right temperature in order to optimize sperm production, says Dr. Steixner. That perfect temperature: 95 to 96 degrees, just slightly cooler than the rest of your body. When your testicles are too warm, your sperm quality suffers, according to a Finnish study that tested the semen of men who used saunas. Even tight underwear can be enough to raise your sack’s temperature above the optimum level, Dr. Steixner says. So for the sake of your future children, consider going naked.

5. You’ll get closer to your partner

Skin-on-skin contact with another person triggers the release of the hormone oxytocin in your brain, according to Swedish researchers. The chemical reduces stress, makes you feel more connected to your partner, and increases your sex drive, the scientists say. And let’s state the obvious: Brushing up against each other naked in bed often leads to good things.

Link- http://www.thelivefeeds.com/5-scientific-reasons-men-should-sleep-nked/

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/when-people-ask-if-i-have-a-partner-it-physically-hurts/

I’ve been single for 13 years. I’m female, in my 30s and deaf. Despite living a very active life, working, travelling, playing sports and volunteering, I rarely meet other singles and when I do, they make it very clear they aren’t interested. After my friends started having their first babies, I decided I needed to relocate. Despite now living in a big city and having new friends from different backgrounds, including some with disabilities, I haven’t had a single date. People keep asking me if I have a partner, and it physically hurts. I feel like an elderly dog at the shelter that nobody wants.

amunkita:
If nah Elrufai family pinshure we see now, the pikin for reach 37....

Lol! take it easy

chynie:
Everybody get him own family


lesson: make money your family go dey front page

Good thinking

oadeyemo74:
So Dog is also their family member?

You haven't heard of a woman who willed all her properties to her cat?

Keneking:
Is that a live dog in the picture?

I thought Igbos don't keep pets like dogs at home due to 'alusi'.

Wealth and exposure helps you forget culture atimes

Anambra State Governor, Willie Obiano with his wife Ebelechukwu and their two children.

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/photo-governor-willie-obiano-shows-off-his-family/

folksync:
Bid your time. Watch for when he is in a good mood. I hope your husband isn't ill-tempered or the good mood might not help much. Now, if he is in a good mood, tell him there is something you would like to discuss with him. Pour out your mind. Do not be scared. And please, do not be rude or aggressive or threatening. If he gets angry, apologize. You have won your case by half as he would surely think about it when he cools down.

Another way is to stop giving him red meat. Since you probably are in charge of meals, replace red meat with chicken and a lot of fresh vegetables. If he likes red meat so much and asks about it, find an excuse.

As for his drinking and smoking, he has to be ready to stop it for him to stop it.

I wish you best of luck.

Good!

Hi friend, take a little time out to smile , the devil is defeated because you're unstoppable. 1John 5:4,14,15. I'd contribute my token

Twaci:
Please first of all, he should stop smoking

Then you suggest he go to a doctor for a proper prescription. He should brush his teeth frequently, say 3 times daily and also use mouthwash after eating.

All these won't be easy, but if he is really concerned about your marriage, he should try....

You too should aid him through as a loving wife

Good!

Source: http://www.thelivefeeds.com/husbands-mouth-odour-affecting-intimacy/

My husband has terrible halitosis. Over the past two years, it has got worse. During my pregnancy and breastfeeding days, I thought I was overly sensitive but when my hormones normalised and it seemed the condition was getting worse, I realised it wasn’t me.

I have suggested that he change what he drinks and eats; I’ve suggested we both make dental appointments, but he missed his. I buy mouthwash, and dental floss. The problem is it is affecting intimacy; just being in proximity with him is difficult. It persists all day, even after he brushes his teeth, and worsens with the drinking and smoking. I don’t know how to bring it up with him.

Microsoft and Samsung are partnering to bring Windows 10 to "Internet of Things" devices, such as smart fridges, TechCrunch reports.

The announcement, which came at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas, is a big win for Microsoft, which is seeking to expand Windows 10 onto a wider variety of devices.

Samsung and Google, which makes Android, have an increasingly tense relationship as Samsung seeks more control over the software that runs on its phones. Partnering with Microsoft sidesteps these issues.

It's not immediately clear what devices Samsung is planning as part of the partnership. The South Korean company is known for its consumer appliances, such as smart fridges — so it could be that Windows 10 will make it way onto those.

"With Windows 10, both companies wanted to do something great together," said Terry Myerson, the head of Windows and Devices at Microsoft. The companies have a "shared vision for future innovation together across the entire Internet of Things," he said.

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/after-an-abortion-we-should-have-slit-up-but/

I have been with my boyfriend for six years. We met at university and have tried living together in his hometown twice. We recently went travelling together and, on returning to the UK, we moved to a city that was between our two hometowns. As a couple, we got on well but neither of us managed to integrate wholeheartedly. I was hurt when he told me he was accepting a job back home without consulting me – he would be commuting three hours each day.

Just after this decision, I found out I was pregnant. It was a shock and his immediate reaction was to “get rid of it”. I felt completely on my own and cut off from my support network, and so, with regret, we came to the unimaginable decision to terminate.

I decided that if we terminated the pregnancy there would be no reason to stay together. Some days I am overwhelmed with regret; it was a choice made out of panic and not feeling certain that our relationship was stable. Yet, despite this ordeal, I wasn’t strong enough walk away and have followed him back to his home. In the past few months I have learned that his younger brother and fiance are expecting their first baby, which, I am ashamed to admit, causes me pain. Their relationship is an emblem of everything our relationship isn’t. I question why we’re not engaged and with our baby. Everything has been an upward struggle and I know the relationship is toxic, yet I feel unable to leave.

I have been sleeping with a work colleague for just less than a year. Officially, we are in a “casual relationship”, but I would like more. I defined the relationship as casual because I felt that if pressurised to be in a “real” relationship, he would run a million miles. He has had his heart broken in the past, suffers from anxiety and sometimes depression, and if I push too much, I can feel him pulling away. I have tried multiple times to break away from him – I never message him first, I don’t go out of my way to see him, I don’t ask him to come over – but he always ends up contacting me and re-sparking everything. I have never told him how I feel so I don’t think he knows the emotional turmoil I have been going through – I think he sees me as quite happy-go-lucky about things. The truth is that the relationship makes me feel empty, lonely and confused. I don’t feel as if I can tell him how I feel, and I don’t know if I should break it off or carry on. One part of me wants to be strong and leave him, but the other feels as if I haven’t given it enough of a chance (and I don’t want to scare him away). I have tried seeing other men, but they’re just not the same.

When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote asking for help, and may well view your comments here or on http://www.thelivefeeds.com/leave-try-make-things-serious/

President Muhammadu Buhari said on Tuesday in Abuja that his administration will look inwards, enforce regulations to stop financial leakages and adopt global best practices in generating more revenue to mitigate the effect of dwindling oil prices on the Nigerian economy.

Receiving the Managing Director of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Ms Christine Lagarde at the Presidential Villa, President Buhari said that his administration will also enforce greater discipline, probity and accountability in all revenue generating agencies of the Federal Government.

President Buhari said the Federal Government will welcome the technical support and expertise of the IMF for its plans to diversify the Nigerian economy and further unleash its growth potentials.

In her remarks, Ms Lagarde said that the IMF will be willing to assist the Federal Government in plugging revenue leakages, tracing stolen funds and restructuring its tax system.

She said that Nigeria had all the potentials to overcome the current economic challenge of falling commodity prices without resorting to the IMF for financial support.

CC: lalasticlala,sihilove

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/nigeria-will-look-inwards-to-overcome-economic-challenges-buhari-tells-imfs-lagarde/

The Benin Leaders of Thought Tuesday warned against the re-introduction of political godfatherism in Edo state, which they said Governor Adams Oshiomhole fought hard against in the past.
‎
‎The warning came on the heel of the alleged imposition of a governorship aspirant by Governor Oshiomhole, for the 2016 gubernatorial election in the state. ‎

The Benin Leaders of Thought therefore, said it believed “that godfatherism in Edo politics was detrimental to the social, economic and political development of the state. Godfatherism is not acceptable to BLT and the good people of Edo State. It should not be reintoduced under any guise.

“The people of Edo State should be given free hands to determine their ‎next governor. Popular participation bestows responsibility for governing one’s own conduct, develops ones character, self-reliance, intelligence and moral judgement. In a democracy there is no substitute for popular participation. Even if a benevolent despot could govern in the public interest, he would be rejected by the classic democrat. Man canomly know the truth by discovering it himself”, the Benin Leaders of Thought added.

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/dont-turn-yourself-to-a-godfather-benin-leaders-tell-oshiomhole/

A truck loaded with diesel on Tuesday crashed and exploded into flames and burnt vehicles and buildings in Malumfashi Local Government Area of Katsina State.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that many houses and cars were burnt as the truck caught fire at the Kafur junction round-about in Malumfashi.

A witness, Kamal Lawal-Nakabo, told NAN that the truck was from Zaria Road and was crossing the round-about to Funtua Road.

Lawal-Nakabo said that some vehicles parked at mechanic garages and on roadsides along the Katsina State Zonal Pilgrims Office also went up in flames.

A NAN correspondent who was at the scene reports that the incident attracted the combined efforts of Malumfashi Local Government fire service and the Katsina State fire service officials and residents to put out the fire.

He said the fire started at about 5 p.m., and as press time, people were seen pouring sand to stop the fire from covering culverts and water passages, and to individual houses and shops.

When contacted, the acting Chairman of Malumfashi Local Government, Alhaji Dikko Bala, confirmed the incident, saying no life was lost.

Bala said he was able to mobilise the fire fighting vehicle which responded immediately and the driver of the vehicle and two passengers escaped unhurt.

He commended the efforts of personnel of the Federal Road Safety Corps, the police and the NSCDC for their effort.

The acting chairman, who is also the Head of Local Government Administration and Finance, said statistics of affected buildings and vehicles would be compiled for assistance.

more: http://www.thelivefeeds.com/diesel-tanker-crashes-explodes-burn-cars-buildings-in-malunfashi/

Sales Officer

Job TypeFull Time
QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience2 - 3 years
LocationLagos
Job FieldSales / Marketing


Project Description:
The Sales Officer will drive the implementation of the Go-to-Market strategies of the company and be available for all other duties and tasks that may be assigned by the Sales leadership in the region.
Job Responsibilities:

Responsible for identifying and developing core talent, including mentorship at the Market Developer level
Coach and develop the team of direct reports while ensuring a culture of learning and development exists throughout DCP
Responsible for relationships with accounts serving as the connection point with Sales area leadership in Operations
Regular interaction with store level and local supply chain leaders
Accountable for selling in and adherence to calendar mar
Desired Qualification/Preferred Competencies :
Minimum of 2 – 5 years’ experience within an FMCG/Customer Service environment
B.Sc/ HND in any discipline.
Must be a strong team player but must also be self-managed
Must be persuasive, persistent and possess a good business acumen
Very high action orientation and pragmatism towards sales achievement as well as readiness to take on responsibility
Must possess a strong inclination towards execution as well as knowledge of the local environment


Market Developer

Job TypeFull Time
QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience2 years max
LocationLagos
Job FieldGraduate Jobs / Internships Sales / Marketing


Project Description :
The Market Developer will be required to achieve Fixed Coverage Plans, Call Frequency & Merchandising Objectives through regular visits to all potential sales outlets while maintaining the highest standards of performance.
Job Responsibilities :

Achieve the daily and monthly Call targets by ensuring complete and proper coverage of the allocated area; ensure that all outlets are visited in the correct sequence, follow the planned call in each outlet and make sure that they are well stocked with Dangote Cement always.
Determine the amount of bags required for next week and arrange with distributors to order the load accordingly.
Maintain a good relationship with the customers at all times.
Develop sales
Desired Qualification/Preferred Competencies :
0-2 years Post-Qualification experience within any industry
First degree/HND in any discipline
Must be intensely self-driven but be motivated to work within a team
Must be persuasive, persistent, accountable and ready to take on additional responsibility.


Area Sales Manager

Job TypeFull Time
QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience7 years
LocationLagos
Job FieldAdministration / Secretarial Sales / Marketing


Project Description :
The primary responsibility of the Area Sales Manager (ASM) is the direct Management and Leadership for an assigned Sales Area. In this role, He/She is responsible for the direction, execution and proper reporting of outcomes to the appropriate levels of Management to ensure expected revenue target are achieved. The ASM is also responsible for Customer Acquisition and Retention.
Job Responsibilities :

Delivery of Business Plan
Lead DCP to identify opportunities, establish goals and objectives and deliver business plan goals.
Define Look of Success (LOS) and ensure understanding through effective communication.
Establish accountability of team members and track/report results.
Coach, Teach, Train or Hire for skill sets that will drive business forward.
On-going dialogue and honest assessment of team members for effectiveness and capability.
Desired Qualification/Preferred Competencies :
The successful Candidate is required to have the following competencies:
Excellent PC skills ( MS Word, Excel, PowerPoint)
Excellent driving record will be required (a 7-year Motor Vehicle Record will be verified)
Ability to work a flexible schedule as required
Proven Leadership ability/People-Management skills
Sales Management/Advanced Selling skills
Excellent attention to details
Excellent Problem-solving/Analytical skills
Must be resourceful and have a good


Risk Officer

Job TypeFull Time
QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience5 years
LocationKogi
Job FieldAdministration / Secretarial


Project Description :
Responsible for Risk Management activities for a subsidiary of the Group – mainly monitoring risk(s) relating to Credit and Operational Risks. Support the Identification, assessment, mitigation and management of risks for the company through focusing on risk management via a defined enterprise wide risk framework - thereby ensuring the risks are mitigated and monitored in accordance with the company’s Risk Policies.
Job Responsibilities :
Operational Risk Activities

Work closely with the Group Operational Risk team in ensuring that losses arising from failed or inadequate internal processes, systems, people and external events fall within the Group's risk appetite, and is in alignment with the organization’s corporate strategy
Provide support to departments within the business unit in the identification of operational risk issues, and designing controls to mitigate risks identified
Desired Qualification/Preferred Competencies :
HND/Bachelor’s Degree
Minimum of 5 years of relevant experience within manufacturing or banking is preferable but not a must
Good interpersonal skills with strong verbal and written communication skills
The successful Candidate is required to have the following competencies:
Deep Knowledge of creating and executing policies and procedures.
Up to date Risk management practices and industry knowledge
Process analysis: Core Business Processes Skill/Compete


Insurance Coordinator

Job TypeFull Time
QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience5 years
LocationLagos
Job FieldAdministration / Secretarial Insurance


Project Description :
Summary of Job:
Review all existing covers to ensure there is no gap in cover and recommend appropriate policies where necessary.
Obtain/ review all necessary documentation required for insurance covers
Liaise with head office to ensure all insurance covers/policy documents/payments are current.
Job Responsibilities :
Review all policy and other documents for accuracy and correctness- sum insured, clauses, exclusions, and other terms/conditions
Prepare and update premium payment schedules
Ensure timely notification of all claims to head office- within 48hrs of occurrence
Collate all claims processing documents within 7days. (Completely eliminate issue of incomplete documentation)
Vet all claims processing documents submitted for proper substantiation
Render necessary support to all claims adjusters
Desired Qualification/Preferred Competencies :
HND/Bachelor’s Degree
Minimum of 5 years of relevant experience within manufacturing or banking is preferable but not a must
Good interpersonal skills with strong verbal and written communication skills

Method of Application
Use links below to apply on Dangote's career website
Sales Officer
Market Developer
Area Sales Manager
Risk Officer
Insurance Coordinator

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/2016-career-opportunities-at-dangote-5-openings-lagos-dangotegroup-2/

Really, how easy is it to stay married on and on and on into the future? How easy is it to stay married when so many marriages around you are ending in divorce? How easy is to stay married when you can’t quite remember, most days, what made you decide to team up with the other person anyway and when their habits drive you more to derision than distraction?

So here are two big truths: no relationship is ever perfect, and every relationship requires hard work to survive. A lot of hard work, and then some.

“Too many couples bury the nasty bits – they avoid arguments, but what they don’t realise is that it’s the conflict and challenge in a relationship that helps it grow,” - Marshall

“What I want people to realise is that it’s OK to argue and actually that’s the best way of repairing your relationship. Arguing is very intimate: you have to care enough about someone to want to have it out with them. Often it’s easier to let something go than to have an argument. But that’s another brick in the wall in a relationship.”

http://www.thelivefeeds.com/big-truth-about-marriage-its-good-to-argue/

The naira on Monday depreciated by 0.8 per cent to exchange at N265 to the dollar at the parallel market.

NAN reports that the greenback lost N2 to the dollar from its weekend value of N263.

However, at the official interbank window, the naira exchanged at N197 to the dollar.

Traders at the market were hopeful that the naira would rebound in 2016 if the apex bank continued to enforce its policies at the foreign exchange market.

Besides, the price of crude oil at the international market hedged up to 38.9 dollars per barrel from about 35.7 dollars per barrel at the weekend.

Oil prices rose on Monday after a breakdown in diplomatic ties between Saudi Arabia and Iran that some speculated could result in supply restrictions.

Saudi Arabia, the world’s biggest oil exporter, cut diplomatic ties with Iran on Sunday in response to the storming of its embassy in Tehran following Riyadh’s execution of a prominent Shi’ite cleric on Saturday.

hrhobi1:
Hi

Hello?

I am a professional woman, with a doctoral degree, earning a very good living in a high-profile and demanding job. I have been married for almost 20 years. My husband lost his job about a decade ago (when we moved to advance my career) and has not worked since. He is being treated for depression, but remains fragile. I work long hours and come home to the second shift: unwashed dishes, dusty floors, general clutter, unfed pets. When I gently and cautiously raise this with him, he lashes out: my standards are too high; the pets are mine and thus no business of his, etc. I don’t argue with him and try to avoid confrontation. I feel a sense of responsibility for him and I also feel compassion for his unhappiness. I try to always treat him with love and respect, never commenting on his lack of economic activity, how he spends his time (on the computer), or criticising his choices. But can this situation improve and, if it can, how would I initiate a change?


When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote asking for help, and may well view your comments here or on http://www.thelivefeeds.com/my-husband-lost-his-job-10-years-ago-so-he-does-nothing-to-help-at-home/

CC: lalasticlala,sihilove

luvguy:
Any post wit a link lyk dis is fake..

No it's not. This came in Friday 18 December 2015 17.42 GMT

dlivefeeds:
My husband and I married when we were 21 and I was his first sexual partner. I love him as my best friend but, despite still having sexual urges, I no longer feel attracted to him. I first told him six years ago and he was devastated, so I have kept my feelings quiet since. We went on to have two children as I felt I should just get on with life. He is a hard worker, a good father, a loving husband and we share similar tastes. He is no chauvinist and always treats me as an equal when it comes to housework and money. We are intimate as I do not want to deprive him of a sexual relationship, but I tend to switch off. Divorce is very frowned upon in our social community, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with somebody who I view as a brother. I appreciate sexual attraction can wane, but we are in our early thirties and I still feel young. I can’t discuss the subject as I know it still upsets him. He tells me I am the love of his life. I desperately want to avoid hurting him and our very young children, but I don’t know what to do.

Help! - http://www.thelivefeeds.com/i-am-not-attracted-to-my-husband-i-love-him-like-a-brother/

CC: lalasticlala,sihilove

This is a true life story of a White Friend, you should know African's would hardly think this way. See some advise her colleagues gave her here http://www.thelivefeeds.com/i-am-not-attracted-to-my-husband-i-love-him-like-a-brother/.

I shared it on nairaland to hear out the proper advise and what exactly i should tell her.

Thanks for keeping the comments coming...

My husband and I married when we were 21 and I was his first sexual partner. I love him as my best friend but, despite still having sexual urges, I no longer feel attracted to him. I first told him six years ago and he was devastated, so I have kept my feelings quiet since. We went on to have two children as I felt I should just get on with life. He is a hard worker, a good father, a loving husband and we share similar tastes. He is no chauvinist and always treats me as an equal when it comes to housework and money. We are intimate as I do not want to deprive him of a sexual relationship, but I tend to switch off. Divorce is very frowned upon in our social community, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with somebody who I view as a brother. I appreciate sexual attraction can wane, but we are in our early thirties and I still feel young. I can’t discuss the subject as I know it still upsets him. He tells me I am the love of his life. I desperately want to avoid hurting him and our very young children, but I don’t know what to do.

Help! - http://www.thelivefeeds.com/i-am-not-attracted-to-my-husband-i-love-him-like-a-brother/

CC: lalasticlala,sihilove

The dilemma girl: I’m a 13-year-old girl who is overweight. I’ve started to feel very uncomfortable and lonely in my own skin. All my friends have boyfriends and are living a wonderful life. I’m very close to one girl, but whenever I try to discuss problems which worry me, she immediately changes the topic. My only other friend has been ignoring me for two weeks. I’ve always been extremely good academically and have been the teacher’s pet for as long as I can remember. My counsellor has diagnosed me as someone with social anxiety and hypersensitivity, and now I feel like I’m depressed as well. My mother fails to understand my problems and I don’t know who to go to.

The Expert: You’re not alone, even if you feel like it. I’d be far more worried if you were writing to tell me your life couldn’t be more fabulous! At 13 years old that would be seriously weird. Instead you’re at the epicentre of one of the most turbulent periods you’ll experience, and I can promise you, no matter how it may look, all your friends are experiencing similar emotions. Teenage angst is legendary and comparable only to another equally hormonally busy phase in your early 50s, and that’s a lifetime away right now. Judging by your letter you are articulate, intelligent and literate and, believe it or not, those three qualities will come to matter far more than anything else as you mature.

In the meantime you have to negotiate the trials and tribulations of being an adolescent and, sadly, this period of hormonal turmoil comes with its fair share of physical manifestations, too. It’s a cruel twist of fate that when you are feeling at your most emotionally vulnerable your body decides to play havoc with you. Weight and moods fly up and down like a playground seesaw.

When I was your age my relationship with my physical attributes was totally in flux. One minute I considered myself fat and bloated, the next I was bemoaning the absence of anything vaguely feminine, like breasts or hips, on my boyish frame. My parents certainly couldn’t keep up with the helter skelter of my mood swings and, to be honest, neither could I. It was exhausting and debilitating to be trapped in my own head, a place where anxiety and insecurity about every aspect of my being fought for space.
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The truth is that it doesn’t really matter how you look at this point, because you won’t feel it or see it. You’re a cygnet blooming into a swan and it’s a process that you simply have to be patient with, which I know is little comfort. We all know the story of the ugly duckling; it’s a fable that directly tackles the teenage condition. Even supermodels talk about their gawky teens as having been a period of misery. They were too tall, too skinny, and stood out from the crowd in a way that takes confidence and maturity to cope with.

To add further layers of complication, just when you most need a friendly shoulder to cry on, your girlfriends are acting oddly as well. Remember that they are experiencing similar mood swings and sensitivities and it’s all too easy to cause offence or be obscured by a new favourite. Girls go through a period of volatility with their friendships which unfortunately coincides with the time when a trustworthy pal would be worth their weight in kindness.

I know you’re feeling equally frustrated with your mum, but she could be your greatest ally at the moment if you invested a little in your relationship. Just as your moods change frequently, your behaviour can be irrational, so you need to be patient when describing what you’re feeling. It’s a further irony that during a period when communication with others would help assuage your growing pains, you are perhaps unwelcoming to those best placed to help? At this stage in your development, friends will come and go, but your mum is right there, within arm’s reach and wanting only the best for you, even if she expresses it badly or doesn’t seem to fully understand.

Most of the time when people don’t get what we’re on about it’s because we’re explaining it badly, not because they lack the ability to see things from our point of view. In your turbulent early teens the best way to struggle through is to try to encourage the people who love you to support you rather than push them away.
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Don’t let the torrent of hormones flooding through you dictate the experience of your teenage years. I still regret how little fun I had during a decade of my life where self-indulgence and irresponsibility were tangible possibilities and how much time I spent fretting about the future.

Your academic tendency is a lifeline. You would be in deeper and murkier water without that lively interest in learning. Keep up the good work, talk freely with your counsellor, worry less about the things that will only change with time, and let your mum be your best friend. Finally, keep a diary – it too can be a place of refuge.

Simplymeah:
Dis is getting more interesting...

Naa Iran must go...remember the days of 'Ghana must go'!