Donpapa's Posts
Nairaland Forum › Donpapa's Profile › Donpapa's Posts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 (of 24 pages)
The subject about the potential winner of the Ballon d'Or has been alive for sometime now, and as many have seen now, the matter is getting a bit hot now. Personally, as a fan, I want Cristiano Ronaldo to be the winner this year, because he deserved it more than Iker, Lionel and Iniesta. Here are my specific reasons: -Ronaldo scored against every single team in La Liga BBVA in the 2011-2012 seeason for Real Madrid; -He scored 46 goals in only his 3rd season, surpassing his own record of the previous year(only to be outscored by Messi); -All of his goals were scored when they mattered the most-especially against strong opponents such as Barcelona, Bayern Munich and etc.; -He has now scored in all of his last 5 games against FC Barcelona, with most of his goals being counted as desicive; -He has won La Liga and the Super Cup of Spain; -He scored desicive goals for his National side(as a Captain) in the EURO 2012 and single handedly brought his team to the semi-finals of the tournament; -Messi hasn't had any major Tournament during the Summer, therefore he cannot compete with the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Iker Casillas and Iniesta in the sa called "national sides factor"; -Yes Iniesta has been a major figure in the Spanish squad, but so has Iker. Iniesta made the Game, Iker saved the Game(for example if it wasn't for Iker in 2010 against The Netherlands in the finals, in an 1-on-1 play he denied Robben, Spain would've been the runner-ups)in the EURO Iker made the saves again-so their contribution in the aspect is probably the same; -Cristiano Ronaldo has been in the Liga for a bit more than 3 years, Messi has been there for more than 8; -He had a horrifying pressure on his shoulders all the time, but he proved all of the pundits wrong, by instantly becoming the Leader of Los Blancos. With all due respect to Lionel Messi, Iker Casillas and Iniesta, i seriously hope that Cristiano Ronaldo becomes the winner of the 2011-2012 Ballon d'Or. PS. The only GK to have gotten the Ballon d'or is the late Legendary keeper, Lev Yashin of the USSR, he got his award when he was 34 years old. Iker still has the time, as goalkeepers play longer into their years compared to on-field players, so I think it would be right if this one went to CR, he'll be 30 in a couple of years, and age is not a friend to sportsmen. Best regards to all |
Beaf: I name and shame Tunde Bakare, the lying, false prophet and jackal.I don't know why people like you will not just allow their keyboards to rest if they have nothing sensible to offer |
Beaf: I name and shame Tunde Bakare, the lying, false prophet and jackal. ![]() |
TrueNaijaguy: Copy and paste. Pls quote whoever wrote this trash cos I know u didn't. Tell me you dont want to be GEJ now.And your 'Time spent online: is 1 day & 10 hours' |
~~ u came, u saw, u made impact & u went back as fulfilled man~~ Indeed, posterity will neva 4get U! Adieu Chief Ganiyu Fawehinmi SAN. |
BASIC INFORMATION - READ CAREFULLY SCREENING OF UME/ DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES FOR ADMISSION IN THE 2009/2010 ACADEMIC SESSION 1.Application and Eligibility This is to inform all Candidates with a score of 200 and above in the 2009/2010 Universities Matriculation Examination and have chosen LAUTECH as their first and or second choice of institution that there shall be a Post-UME Screening Exercise on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at designated centres. In addition, Direct Entry Candidates who have chosen LAUTECH as first choice of institution in the JAMB application with minimum of Upper Credit in the National Diploma, Minimum of Lower Credit in the HND and Credit pass in NCE in relevant subjects are also invited to a screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 2. Method of Application Application forms will be available on-line. Access to the on-line facility for registration only will depend on payment of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to obtain a scratch card from any of the underlisted banks: BANK: GT BANK BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Osogbo, Ilesa, Ibadan (Ring Road), Broad Street Branch, Lagos, Oba Akran Avenue Branch, Lagos. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER: 902-440965-1550 BANK:FIRST BANK BRANCH:Ogbomoso, Ibadan (Molete Branch), Osogbo. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:2705020000019 BANK:UBA BRANCH:Ogbomoso(LAUTECH Branch) Ogbomoso,( Apake Branch) BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:03110040000407 BANK:SKYE BRANCH:Ogbomoso(LATUECH Branch and Takie Branch).Saki, Ife, Ilorin, Ibadan(Agodi, branch); Obafemi Awolowo Branch, Ikeja Lagos BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:2531070000010 BANK:OCEANIC BRANCH:Ogbomoso, Oyo, Osogbo ( Dugbe Branch), Ibadan, Ilorin( Upper Taiwo Branch ), Adeniran Ogunsanya (Surulere), Lagos. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:28130100470 Registration for Screening Exercise of UME Candidate Eligible candidates are expected to register for the screening exercise on the University website; www.lautech.edu.ng by completing and submitting the on-line application form using access card. In completing the on-line application form, candidates are required to upload a scanned passport photograph with white background showing ears, no cap and no glasses. The scanned passport photograph must be in JPEG (i.e jpg) and must not be more than 20kb. On submission of the application form, candidates are to print out an acknowledgement page which will give them access to venue of the screening exercise. Registration By Direct Entry Applicants The JAMB Direct Entry Applicants who chose LAUTECH as their first choice are expected to purchase access cards like the UME Applicants for their on-line application as stated in (2) above. They are expected to register on LAUTECH website: www.lautech.edu.ng as DE applicants on the DE section to print out screening/interview letter. Please note that access to the University Website for the purpose of this screening exercise will open to UME applicants between Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Tuesday, July 7, 2009 and Direct Entry applicants, Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Friday, July 31st , 2009. Other Relevant Information UME Candidates Candidates who are awaiting May/June 2009 WASC/NECO O’level results are qualified to participate in the screening exercise 1. Any candidate with blurred or unclear picture on the Acknowledgement Page will not be admitted for the screening exercise as the photograph will be used as means of identification. 2. Any candidate who fails to present himself/herself for the screening exercise as scheduled on Saturday, July 11, 2009 will not be considered for admission. 3. Applicants are advised to come for the exercise with their print-outs from the on-line registration as well as their HB Pencil, eraser, and pencil sharpener. The use of cell phones (GSM, CDMA, PDA and other electronic devices) is NOT ALLOWED in the examination hall. DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES Direct Entry candidates are expected to come for the screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 with the following: 1. Original copy of O’level results either from WASC, NECO, OR NABTEB 2. Original copy of certificate/statement of result as applicable, (NRN/NRM for Nursing) 3. DE registration print-out 4. LAUTECH on-line invitation letter Candidates are to ensure that their academic transcripts are forwarded directly to the Registrar of this University before the dates of the screening/interview. Candidates are expected to appear for the screening/interview on the date indicated against their Faculty as stated below: FACULTY: Faculty of Agricultural Sciences DATE: 3/08/2009 FACULTY:Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences DATE:4/08/2009 FACULTY:Faculty of Environmental Sciences DATE:5/08/2009 FACULTY:Faculty of Engineering and Technology DATE:6/08/2009 FACULTY:Faculty of Pure and Applied Sciences DATE:7/08/2009 Time of Screening: 10.00 a.m. each day. Venue of Screening: Board Room, Academic Affairs Unit,LAUTECH ,Ogbomoso Correspondence should be sent to admission@lautech.edu.ng. The detailed results of the screening exercise shall be published on the same website. All applicants, (UME & DE) are advised to pay a sum of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to any of the branch of the banks listed above to obtain another scratch card to have access to their results. |
BASIC INFORMATION - READ CAREFULLY SCREENING OF UME/ DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES FOR ADMISSION IN THE 2009/2010 ACADEMIC SESSION 1.Application and Eligibility This is to inform all Candidates with a score of 200 and above in the 2009/2010 Universities Matriculation Examination and have chosen LAUTECH as their first and or second choice of institution that there shall be a Post-UME Screening Exercise on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at designated centres. In addition, Direct Entry Candidates who have chosen LAUTECH as first choice of institution in the JAMB application with minimum of Upper Credit in the National Diploma, Minimum of Lower Credit in the HND and Credit pass in NCE in relevant subjects are also invited to a screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 2. Method of Application Application forms will be available on-line. Access to the on-line facility for registration only will depend on payment of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to obtain a scratch card from any of the underlisted banks: BANK: GT BANK BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Osogbo, Ilesa, Ibadan (Ring Road), Broad Street Branch, Lagos, Oba Akran Avenue Branch, Lagos BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER: 902-440965-1550 BANK: FIRST BANK BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Ibadan (Molete Branch), Osogbo. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:2705020000019 BANK: UBA BRANCH: Ogbomoso(LAUTECH Branch) Ogbomoso,( Apake Branch) BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:03110040000407 BANK: SKYE BRANCH: Ogbomoso(LATUECH Branch and Takie Branch).Saki, Ife, Ilorin, Ibadan(Agodi, branch); Obafemi Awolowo Branch, Ikeja Lagos BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:2531070000010 BANK: OCEANIC BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Oyo, Osogbo ( Dugbe Branch), Ibadan, Ilorin( Upper Taiwo Branch ), Adeniran Ogunsanya (Surulere), Lagos. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:28130100470 (I)Registration for Screening Exercise of UME Candidate Eligible candidates are expected to register for the screening exercise on the University website; www.lautech.edu.ng by completing and submitting the on-line application form using access card. In completing the on-line application form, candidates are required to upload a scanned passport photograph with white background showing ears, no cap and no glasses. The scanned passport photograph must be in JPEG (i.e jpg) and must not be more than 20kb. On submission of the application form, candidates are to print out an acknowledgement page which will give them access to venue of the screening exercise. (II).Registration By Direct Entry Applicants The JAMB Direct Entry Applicants who chose LAUTECH as their first choice are expected to purchase access cards like the UME Applicants for their on-line application as stated in (2) above. They are expected to register on LAUTECH website: www.lautech.edu.ng as DE applicants on the DE section to print out screening/interview letter. Please note that access to the University Website for the purpose of this screening exercise will open to UME applicants between Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Tuesday, July 7, 2009 and Direct Entry applicants, Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Friday, July 31st , 2009. Other Relevant Information UME Candidates Candidates who are awaiting May/June 2009 WASC/NECO O’level results are qualified to participate in the screening exercise 1. Any candidate with blurred or unclear picture on the Acknowledgement Page will not be admitted for the screening exercise as the photograph will be used as means of identification. 2. Any candidate who fails to present himself/herself for the screening exercise as scheduled on Saturday, July 11, 2009 will not be considered for admission. 3. Applicants are advised to come for the exercise with their print-outs from the on-line registration as well as their HB Pencil, eraser, and pencil sharpener. The use of cell phones (GSM, CDMA, PDA and other electronic devices) is NOT ALLOWED in the examination hall. DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES Direct Entry candidates are expected to come for the screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 with the following: 1. Original copy of O’level results either from WASC, NECO, OR NABTEB 2. Original copy of certificate/statement of result as applicable, (NRN/NRM for Nursing) 3. DE registration print-out 4. LAUTECH on-line invitation letter Candidates are to ensure that their academic transcripts are forwarded directly to the Registrar of this University before the dates of the screening/interview. Candidates are expected to appear for the screening/interview on the date indicated against their Faculty as stated below: FACULTY: Faculty of Agricultural Sciences DATE: 3/08/2009 Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences 4/08/2009 Faculty of Environmental Sciences 5/08/2009 Faculty of Engineering and Technology 6/08/2009 Faculty of Pure and Applied Sciences 7/08/2009 Time of Screening: 10.00 a.m. each day. Venue of Screening: Board Room, Academic Affairs Unit,LAUTECH ,Ogbomoso Correspondence should be sent to admission@lautech.edu.ng. The detailed results of the screening exercise shall be published on the same website. All applicants, (UME & DE) are advised to pay a sum of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to any of the branch of the banks listed above to obtain another scratch card to have access to their results. |
BASIC INFORMATION - READ CAREFULLY SCREENING OF UME/ DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES FOR ADMISSION IN THE 2009/2010 ACADEMIC SESSION 1.Application and Eligibility This is to inform all Candidates with a score of 200 and above in the 2009/2010 Universities Matriculation Examination and have chosen LAUTECH as their first and or second choice of institution that there shall be a Post-UME Screening Exercise on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at designated centres. In addition, Direct Entry Candidates who have chosen LAUTECH as first choice of institution in the JAMB application with minimum of Upper Credit in the National Diploma, Minimum of Lower Credit in the HND and Credit pass in NCE in relevant subjects are also invited to a screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 2. Method of Application Application forms will be available on-line. Access to the on-line facility for registration only will depend on payment of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to obtain a scratch card from any of the underlisted banks: BANK: GT BANK BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Osogbo, Ilesa, Ibadan (Ring Road), Broad Street Branch, Lagos, Oba Akran Avenue Branch, Lagos BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER: 902-440965-1550 BANK: FIRST BANK BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Ibadan (Molete Branch), Osogbo. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:2705020000019 BANK: UBA BRANCH: Ogbomoso(LAUTECH Branch) Ogbomoso,( Apake Branch) BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:03110040000407 BANK: SKYE BRANCH: Ogbomoso(LATUECH Branch and Takie Branch).Saki, Ife, Ilorin, Ibadan(Agodi, branch); Obafemi Awolowo Branch, Ikeja Lagos BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:2531070000010 BANK: OCEANIC BRANCH: Ogbomoso, Oyo, Osogbo ( Dugbe Branch), Ibadan, Ilorin( Upper Taiwo Branch ), Adeniran Ogunsanya (Surulere), Lagos. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:28130100470 (I)Registration for Screening Exercise of UME Candidate Eligible candidates are expected to register for the screening exercise on the University website; www.lautech.edu.ng by completing and submitting the on-line application form using access card. In completing the on-line application form, candidates are required to upload a scanned passport photograph with white background showing ears, no cap and no glasses. The scanned passport photograph must be in JPEG (i.e jpg) and must not be more than 20kb. On submission of the application form, candidates are to print out an acknowledgement page which will give them access to venue of the screening exercise. (II).Registration By Direct Entry Applicants The JAMB Direct Entry Applicants who chose LAUTECH as their first choice are expected to purchase access cards like the UME Applicants for their on-line application as stated in (2) above. They are expected to register on LAUTECH website: www.lautech.edu.ng as DE applicants on the DE section to print out screening/interview letter. Please note that access to the University Website for the purpose of this screening exercise will open to UME applicants between Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Tuesday, July 7, 2009 and Direct Entry applicants, Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Friday, July 31st , 2009. Other Relevant Information UME Candidates Candidates who are awaiting May/June 2009 WASC/NECO O’level results are qualified to participate in the screening exercise 1. Any candidate with blurred or unclear picture on the Acknowledgement Page will not be admitted for the screening exercise as the photograph will be used as means of identification. 2. Any candidate who fails to present himself/herself for the screening exercise as scheduled on Saturday, July 11, 2009 will not be considered for admission. 3. Applicants are advised to come for the exercise with their print-outs from the on-line registration as well as their HB Pencil, eraser, and pencil sharpener. The use of cell phones (GSM, CDMA, PDA and other electronic devices) is NOT ALLOWED in the examination hall. DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES Direct Entry candidates are expected to come for the screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 with the following: 1. Original copy of O’level results either from WASC, NECO, OR NABTEB 2. Original copy of certificate/statement of result as applicable, (NRN/NRM for Nursing) 3. DE registration print-out 4. LAUTECH on-line invitation letter Candidates are to ensure that their academic transcripts are forwarded directly to the Registrar of this University before the dates of the screening/interview. Candidates are expected to appear for the screening/interview on the date indicated against their Faculty as stated below: FACULTY: Faculty of Agricultural Sciences DATE: 3/08/2009 Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences 4/08/2009 Faculty of Environmental Sciences 5/08/2009 Faculty of Engineering and Technology 6/08/2009 Faculty of Pure and Applied Sciences 7/08/2009 Time of Screening: 10.00 a.m. each day. Venue of Screening: Board Room, Academic Affairs Unit,LAUTECH ,Ogbomoso Correspondence should be sent to admission@lautech.edu.ng. The detailed results of the screening exercise shall be published on the same website. All applicants, (UME & DE) are advised to pay a sum of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to any of the branch of the banks listed above to obtain another scratch card to have access to their results. |
BASIC INFORMATION - READ CAREFULLY SCREENING OF UME/ DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES FOR ADMISSION IN THE 2009/2010 ACADEMIC SESSION 1.Application and Eligibility This is to inform all Candidates with a score of 200 and above in the 2009/2010 Universities Matriculation Examination and have chosen LAUTECH as their first and or second choice of institution that there shall be a Post-UME Screening Exercise on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 10:00 a.m. at designated centres. In addition, Direct Entry Candidates who have chosen LAUTECH as first choice of institution in the JAMB application with minimum of Upper Credit in the National Diploma, Minimum of Lower Credit in the HND and Credit pass in NCE in relevant subjects are also invited to a screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 2. Method of Application Application forms will be available on-line. Access to the on-line facility for registration only will depend on payment of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to obtain a scratch card from any of the underlisted banks: S/N BANK BRANCH BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER 1 GT BANK Ogbomoso, Osogbo, Ilesa, Ibadan (Ring Road), Broad Street Branch, Lagos, Oba Akran Avenue Branch, Lagos 902-440965-1550 2 FIRST BANK Ogbomoso, Ibadan (Molete Branch), Osogbo. 2705020000019 3 UBA Ogbomoso(LAUTECH Branch) Ogbomoso,( Apake Branch) 03110040000407 4 SKYE Ogbomoso(LATUECH Branch and Takie Branch).Saki, Ife, Ilorin, Ibadan(Agodi, branch); Obafemi Awolowo Branch, Ikeja Lagos 2531070000010 5 OCEANIC Ogbomoso, Oyo, Osogbo ( Dugbe Branch), Ibadan, Ilorin( Upper Taiwo Branch ), Adeniran Ogunsanya (Surulere), Lagos. 28130100470 (I)Registration for Screening Exercise of UME Candidate Eligible candidates are expected to register for the screening exercise on the University website; www.lautech.edu.ng by completing and submitting the on-line application form using access card. In completing the on-line application form, candidates are required to upload a scanned passport photograph with white background showing ears, no cap and no glasses. The scanned passport photograph must be in JPEG (i.e jpg) and must not be more than 20kb. On submission of the application form, candidates are to print out an acknowledgement page which will give them access to venue of the screening exercise. (II).Registration By Direct Entry Applicants The JAMB Direct Entry Applicants who chose LAUTECH as their first choice are expected to purchase access cards like the UME Applicants for their on-line application as stated in (2) above. They are expected to register on LAUTECH website: www.lautech.edu.ng as DE applicants on the DE section to print out screening/interview letter. Please note that access to the University Website for the purpose of this screening exercise will open to UME applicants between Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Tuesday, July 7, 2009 and Direct Entry applicants, Monday, 15th June, to 12 midnight of Friday, July 31st , 2009. Other Relevant Information UME Candidates Candidates who are awaiting May/June 2009 WASC/NECO O’level results are qualified to participate in the screening exercise 1. Any candidate with blurred or unclear picture on the Acknowledgement Page will not be admitted for the screening exercise as the photograph will be used as means of identification. 2. Any candidate who fails to present himself/herself for the screening exercise as scheduled on Saturday, July 11, 2009 will not be considered for admission. 3. Applicants are advised to come for the exercise with their print-outs from the on-line registration as well as their HB Pencil, eraser, and pencil sharpener. The use of cell phones (GSM, CDMA, PDA and other electronic devices) is NOT ALLOWED in the examination hall. DIRECT ENTRY CANDIDATES Direct Entry candidates are expected to come for the screening/oral interview exercise between Monday, 3rd to Friday, 7th August, 2009 with the following: 1. Original copy of O’level results either from WASC, NECO, OR NABTEB 2. Original copy of certificate/statement of result as applicable, (NRN/NRM for Nursing) 3. DE registration print-out 4. LAUTECH on-line invitation letter Candidates are to ensure that their academic transcripts are forwarded directly to the Registrar of this University before the dates of the screening/interview. Candidates are expected to appear for the screening/interview on the date indicated against their Faculty as stated below: S/N FACULTY DATE 1 Faculty of Agricultural Sciences 3/08/2009 2 Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences 4/08/2009 3 Faculty of Environmental Sciences 5/08/2009 4 Faculty of Engineering and Technology 6/08/2009 5 Faculty of Pure and Applied Sciences 7/08/2009 Time of Screening: 10.00 a.m. each day. Venue of Screening: Board Room, Academic Affairs Unit,LAUTECH ,Ogbomoso Correspondence should be sent to admission@lautech.edu.ng. The detailed results of the screening exercise shall be published on the same website. All applicants, (UME & DE) are advised to pay a sum of One Thousand Naira (#1,000.00) only, to any of the branch of the banks listed above to obtain another scratch card to have access to their results. |
Guys, i'm on my way to the skool (admission office precisely) to garner informations on post ume screening. I'm going to feed you back (later 2day) when i'm through. C yah! |
adexlink:you have a very good chance, jst try n score at least 65% in your post UME test. i wish you goodluck! as i hope 2 see you here in LAUTECH. |
It's Indeed a rumour, but it's gonna be out later this week if not today. |
Feel ma best eleven! With 4-4-2 formation Buffon Alves Vidic Terry Cole Essien Iniesta Ronaldo Kaka Messi Ibrahimovic with 4-3-3 formation Buffon Alves Vidic Terry Cole Essien Kaka Iniesta Messi Ibrahimovic Ronaldo |
Chelsea confirmed this afternoon the appointment of Carlo Ancelloti as their new manager after he mutually agreed a parting of the ways with Italian giants AC Milan on Sunday. Ancelloti comes with the type of credentials to appease chelsea fans (having won the UEFA Champions League title twice, one scudetto and coppa italia in his eight years in charge with the Rossoneri) most pinning for Guus Hiddink to stay or longing for Jose Mourinho to return. Will he prove a success in the premier league? Can he serve up a Champion's League title the club's fan so desperately crave? |
I wish him the very worst of best of luck. |
I'm a Chemenger undergrad. in LAUTECH. @ poster, what's your level? |
He(God) will surely help you if only you can be closer to him through prayer. |
ife-eco-06:Well said |
![]() |
![]()
|
how can a man flash a woman?simple, because he can't afford it ![]() |
richo:CORRECT |
richo:well said @ poster Go for deliverance ![]() |
Gals, What Do U Think Of Guys Who Flash?Na because dem no get credit ![]() most girls sef dey do am. |
THE MAGIC KITCHEN Little Johnny is a houseboy who everyday, drinks the wine of his boss and puts water in the bottle to replace the wine he drank. but the boss grew suspicious and decided to buy pasties (a french wine that changes colour if you add water). Little Johnny as usual, drank from the wine and topped it up with water (to replace what he drank). Unfortunately, immediately he added water the pasties became milky. when the boss returned and noticed it, he knew he had nailed Little Johnny. Little Johnny also knew that he was in trouble and decided to stay put in the kitchen. The boss told his wife that he would call Little Johnny to come and acknowlege his evil deeds. 'Little Johnny!' he called from the sitting room. Little Johnny answered, "Yes, Boss". "who drank my pasteries?" No answer, the Boss asked again, still there was no answer, so he went to the kitchen to meet him there. "Are you insane or what? Why is it that when i call you, you say 'Yes boss,' but when i ask you a question you don't answer me?" Little Johnny retorted, "when you are in the kitchen, you don't understand anything at all, except your name." "Is that so?" asked the boss. "Okay, you stay beside madam, while i'll go into the kitchen, then you ask me a question." BLittle Johnny agreed. The boss went into the kitchen and Little Johnny shouted, "Boss!" he answered, "Yes Little Johnny!" "Who goes into the maids' bedroom when the madam is not there?'" No answer. Little Johnny shouted again, "Boss, i say who made the maid pregnant?" No answer. Third time, "Boss, i say who made the maid pregnant? the boss ran out of the kitchen and laments ''wonders shall never end. it is true that when you are in the kitchen, you don't understand anything at all, except your name." THE POWER OF SUGGESTION A preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each sunday. some on suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more. "And just how would i go about doing that?" He asked. "It is very simple. First, you turn up the airconditioner. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile you dangle a chain and swing it in slow arc above the pulpit and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection plate" So the next sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo and behold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills. The following week the reverend tried it again and just as the last of congregation was getting mesmerized, the chain on the watch hit the pulpit and the springs and parts flew apart. "Shit!" Exclaimed the pastor it took them a week to clean the church. READING BETWEEN THE LINES Johnny, the head of the company asked his manager to write a detailed employment descibing Bob Smith, one of his programmers. 1) Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found. 2) Hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3) Wasting company time talking to colleagues, Bob never 4) thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5) finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended 6) measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7) breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8 ) Vanity in spite of his accomplishments and profund 9) Knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10) classed as a high-calibre-employee, the type which cannot be 11) dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12) promoted to executive management,and a proposal will be 13) executed as soon as possible. signed, Johnny A memo was soon sent following the letter: John, That idiot was reading over my shoulder while i wrote the report sent you earlier. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines above (1,3,5, etc, ) for my true assessment of him. Regards, Johnny. |
@ sisi Congratulations for your appointment as president of 'because' group. ![]() |
@ Stephen p Now you rekindle my success vision with your words. Keep it up! ![]() |
I doubt it! . . . . [size=4pt]no be lie hear am[/size] |
I love everything lovable about her on screen ![]() but is it true she snobs? |
May his gentle, meek soul rest in the bossom of our almighty lord. What a great loss to the nation! Adieu Yinka Craig ! ! ! |
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 (of 24 pages)

. Bad belle. People call others what they are just to defeat inferiority complex but in this case I don't even know your motive is cos you are not in the same class with GEJ and will never be with your insubordination.



