₦airaland Forum

Ileke-IdI:
Ive been on a bus with a pack of indians. I literally felt like I was smoking curry weed.

That got me laughing .

shymexx: My point is that you lot need to stop crying about everything and start focusing on more important things... People call Indians; curry smelling people all the time and I don't see them get mad at it... American flag gets burned all the time

I agree with you to an extent, not killing myself about it, but i would never support it.

Ileke-IdI:
calm down. I just needed you to see how unbeluevable some claims can be on nl. You wanna tell us that you've never come across smelly Nigerians?

Never said that, same as in all nationalities. Have you lived with Indians? You'll surely congratulate Nigerians on personal hygiene

Ileke-IdI:
I don't believe you. In fact I think you stink.

Really matured reply from you. Thanks a lot. I'll keep praying for you. Never expected more from you. Always knew you had an oral diarrhea . You insult your way through every conversation.

Ileke-IdI:
Let's be honest, Africans stinks because they're not used to products like perfumed saop and deodrant. The chic was being a whateveritis by using nigerian as a derogatory term. She could have said 'smelly man' and I wouldn't have cared.

I still stand my ground that the Africans i meet use deodorants.

shymexx: Lmao at Nigerians getting mad because Nigeria was used in the slur...

How about get mad at your government for destroying the country??

Nigeria has no image to protect, you should be the happy trashy white cu.nt said Nigeria... At least a lot of people now know where Nigeria is on the map and that it's a black country...

How about having little stuffs called self respect and pride? Not all our problems hinges on Government.. It's really beyond my comprehension how Nigerians like you have so much low self esteem that anything bad associated with Nigeria is acceptable to you. The normal excuse "blame the government" i haf taya o

Van snickers: The problem my friend is the fact that she took the word "Nigerian" and made it derogatory, in other words the word "Nigerian" is an insult in her view. Self-hate is not when a Black man marries a white woman or when a white man marries a black woman, it's when anyone takes something as defining as your Nationality, and uses it as a common insult on another person and you find absolutely nothing wrong with that! Racist, Sexist and Tribalist Comments should never be tolerated

Best comment here. Have been reading a lot of trash here. Geez, how much lower can we go as Nigerians? This is definitely derogatory . Some olodos here are even supporting the statement about Nigerians being smelly. I don't know the Nigerians you meet, maybe they are your parents or siblings, but the Nigerians I meet are very clean. In fact, I have never met people of other nationalities that are as clean as we are. Where did our pride go to?

Okija_juju: I no sabi which kind juju wey Rochas use hold Imo State people..

I wonder o... He is doing nothing and people won't stop praising him.

...The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.

This article is for all those who want to become better worshippers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.

First, you must understand that being a worshipper has nothing to do with character, good works or righteousness. So the fact that you choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss how to inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. The Nigerian god appreciates communication.

When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.

When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud. No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. It is just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil. God will judge such a person.

Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, if you diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when people say you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. By this you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.

Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.

The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Party nomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win the elections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success. How can mere mortals complain?

The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s.

The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green when the man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.

If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.

The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.

These days, the Nigerian god also permits tweets and Facebook updates like: "Now in Church" or "This guy in front of me needs to stop dozing" when performing acts of worship.

In all, the Nigerian god is very kind and accommodating. He gives glory and riches and private jets. And if you worship him well, he will immensely bless your hustle.

try69: how much dem pay u? A goat will always remain a goat..good9te goat!

yeah yeah, definitely expected such an answer from you... I postulated that you were daft, you just confirmed that you got a minute brain.. Anencephaly is really a terrible curse...

try69: ur granpa mumu..did I insult anybody? Until the whole of lagos, portharcourt, onitsha and other industrial cities claim to have power constantly, I would not succumb to this half-completed projects that have gulped too much. B/w, how do you know it is not the water level that is influencing this? If I am not mistaken,this upsurge started recently and if we watch it for a while, it could return to it's sorry state..Typical Nigerians, keep shouting "up nepa!".

I can clearly see that you neither read nor think before typing. It's alright, i can attribute it to your basic cognitive ability or lack of common sense . What is the topic of discussion? Did anyone ask if there was 24hrs electricity supply in Nigeria? There you go. Don't feel ashamed that you are daft, just see it's a trait that runs in your bloodline. ODE!!!

Violence, no matter the parties involved is totally wrong! I abhor it RIP

try69: Make una dey lie here say una dey get light 24/7 oh...gEJ pple welldone..smh

what right have you to call them liars? The only thing you want to hear people say online are bad things about Naija nad Gej. In as much as we are not impressed generally, acknowledgement is due to the power sector. And by the way, u be mumu.

So sad about the way northerners are going about this presidential stuff. They sound and look desperate, hungry and foolish. how do they think that the people in middle belt, Igbos will feel if after 40 years that they had ruled, they want to retain it again by all means? They are basing all their hopes on north voting for them alone. Nigerians will decide if the want GEJ or not QED. I'm not into insulting people, but they should put their house in order first before trying to vie for any position. Nigerians do not trust them again.

I am from Imo, but Rochas understands that people are gullible. What substantial thing has he done? To me, he's just like Ohakim, but more intelligent. I wish him the best. If he fails, Imo suffers... If he fares well, we enjoy... But i still maintain that he thrives on propaganda. My opinion

ghettodreamz: Sorry to hear about that, I hope they are no more suffering but resting at the feet of the good lord, He knows it all.

Thanks for your sincere concern.. God bless you.

REVOLUTNIS: Kidnap? who would have wast his time doing that, kidnappers don suffer no bi small.
abeg!

Do you know me from somewhere... you are a waste of space and time...

good things... was not kidnapped during throughout my summer holiday, was not sick for once, passed my professional exam ..
Bad things... lost a dear one in dana air crash, lost my grand mom, aunt and another uncle..

yawkusi: Sadly most people here don't even know what an achievement is. Do you consider
1.African Country with most ethnicity and achievement? Did you envisioned, planned and worked hard to get all those ethnic groups? Nonsense
2.African Country with most internet users -Nigeria/Country in the world with most
cellphone users and fastest growing: Are sure you could have 'achieved' this if you had the population of say Togo?
3.First African to win a Miss world beauty pageant-Nigeria. Do u consider beauty achievement or nature?
4.First African country to launch a communication satellite: the satellite was designed and built in Essex UK and lunched on Russian rocked.
5.Country with Africa’s biggest Christian population-Nigeria Country with Africa’s largest Muslim population- Nigeria. This is an achievement? Jesus!
6.Biggest oil producer in Africa- Nigeria Biggest gas producer (Liquified Natural gas)- Nigeria . I didn't know you were around 2 billion years ago to put the oil under the ground. Anyway shell is the winner in that
6.Largest number of African migrants living in the U.S.A- Nigeria Africa’s biggest communities in the UK- Nigeria. Anybody who consider this to be achievement must be beheaded. It's actually due to lack of achievement
7. Country with the most bible in the world? Achievement? laughable!

I don't have time for all of it but I honestLY believe the everage IQ at nairaland could be about 70 (Thats average Nigerian IQ)

Bravo! though you made some sense, you listed just seven out of the bunch. You still have not indicated you country of origin.

post.email:
I have these questions:
Why do men in Nigeria feel having a pot-belly is a show of wealth?
Why do girls turn "orobo" after marriage and childbirth?
Why do guys buy girls phone recharge cards?
Why do Nigerians form 5 lanes on a 2-lane road during slow traffic?
Why do Nigerians clap when a plane lands, and rush to exit when the plane is still taxiing?
Why some Nigerian guys still think obese girls are sexy?
Why are Nigerian meals so unbalanced?

Can somebody help with some answers? Thanks

Your momma gave us that mentality ...A deranged and classic fo.ol

yawkusi: Of all the list only about two of them are true achievements, the remaining are either by chance or by the sheer size of your population

Name the two please. And may you kindly indicate your country of origin?

The American dream is a very popular and common sentence; Go to college, get a nice job, home, a car and a little family, start saving up for your kids college.... bla bla bla... But come to think of it, for us that will love to settle in Nigeria, what are our Nigerian dreams? Are you living the dream already? do you hope for more? Will like to know everyone's take and opinions.. Nairalanders' Oya ....

duni04: U gave us the news and then u added ur own opinion (most of which is misguided). Very wrong!

my man, every na copy which i absolutely agree to.

It was not enough for his boys on social media to cast aspersions on the late former National Security Adviser, Gen. Andrew Owoye Azazi, the big masquerade suspected to be behind these social media attacks, controversial former minister of the FCT, and former Obj administration kitchen cabinet member turned Buhari boy,the pint sized Mallam Nasir El-rufai, has come out personally to unleash an accusation on the late Azazi-that the late General ordered a $50 Million Private Jet which was delivered 2 days after his death. El-rufai made the allegation yesterday on his twitter profile.

However, when NaijaPundit investigated this fresh accusation against the late Azazi who is yet to be buried and whose family is in mourning it could find no shred of evidence to support Elrufai's allegation.

It would be recalled that Elrufai similarly celebrated the death of Nigeria's former president, Mallam Umaru Musa Yar'adua, after his death on May 5 2010 on his Facebook profile when he distastefully said "Yar'adua is dead and I am alive". It would be recalled that Elrufai had a running battle with the former President who sought him for trial on corruption related charges and had hoped that on his death the government would discontinue such charges.

Upon his return from exile, Elrufai had attempted to curry the favour of the current president and was the first person to call on him to run for office. He also turned his tongue against Buhari, but when it became evident that the current president would not manipulate the judicial and investigative process to end his trial, Elrufai switched camp again and became a supporter of Buhari whom he had hitherto attacked and attacked President Jonathan whom he had hitherto supported.

since_1914: It is also the same in Russian language to some extent. The difference is that in pidgin English we stress the last words (syllable?) to differentiate a question from a sentence, while in Russian the stress starts with the very first word of the sentence.

like what? give us an example.. Eto ne pravda voobshe

@op, since you doubt that you will marry a black man, why still bother getting chased? The issue here is that a whole lot of women are readily available, desperate and cheap. why worry yourself?

Official.

He didn't kneel before anybody but God. In Christianity and in the bible, ppl knelt to be anointed and prayed for. You kneel in the presence of GOD ALMIGHTY. He is a Christian , irrespective of whether he is the president . So, when Yar'Adua was the president, didn't he bow down in mosques? Don't be so myopic because you dislike the president. He must practice his faith. God first.

agbari socket: Igbos are the best animal bunch of thives in nigerian dey go robbed bcuz of xmas.why are they using thier nuisancical life 2 affect other patriotic nigerian.the ojukwu kill them finish bcuz greedness well yoruba wise...up awolowo

e be lyk say ur name na apari socket... you need an intensive check up in a sound mental institution.

mumumugu: An ibo man wil work from january to december, save lets say #200,000. Go 4 xmas lavish everytin and go back and start working again. Dat y he wil remain in poverty. Mtchew

No Ibo man is poorer than your father.

.bbpreye:
Stop making passes at me, attention seeker, or I will expose you am already hooked up! Try acidtalk!
Rubbish!

Mr. stop talking like one that has a diarrhea of the mouth.

BetaThings: Your book of revelation speaks not of what had happened, but of what would happen. A religious book does not speak of only what exists but will come hence

I admire
1. your choice of words since millions of "bloodsucking" muslims have been celebrating their Eid without incident and Nigerian Christians have the confidence to knock on the doors of these "bloodsuckers" to preach ("fish"without being assaulted
2. the way you admit that Nigerian Christians call Muslims infidels whether or not the Bible intends it for Muslims
3. your eloquent testimony that Nigerian Christians claim to follow the Bible but they are most UNLIKE Jesus Christ (PBUH). They detest, abhor and negate the admirable manners of Jesus Christ (PBUH)and freely use offensive language and demonstrate uncivil conduct

And finally, I can understand why Christians plunder, kill and subjugate large number of people. They seem to justify these by labelling people infidels at random.

Now talking about blood, tell me about your blood of Jesus.
Tell me why a father (merciful, powerful who can do whatever he likes) needs to kill his own son for the sins of another
Tell me where Jesus mentioned Trinity and your magical arithmetic of 1+1+1 = 3. and why trinity? Why not 1+1 or 1+1+1+1?

Now tell me where The Qur'an says Muslims should go out and kill Christians and Jews because based on your views I have been "derelict in the discharge of my religious duties"

Obviously, you are looking for an argument, but sorry to disappoint you. You have to understand that you lack knowledge and any reasonable person will not engage you. Just re-read what you have typed and answer me without bias, if it makes an iota of sense to you.. There you go