₦airaland Forum

Ardar:
Domestic violence is not gender specific yes but the majority of the people on the receiving end are women. Take it or leave it.

What about children?

Oh now you are quiet. Take it or leave it children are at the receiving end. Argue with your Keyboard.

RisenPhoenix1:
They shouldn't ignore the signs, so it's still mostly their fault. Most women show their hatred openly and will usually ask for a divorce or start making moves to get away if they can no longer look up to their husbands. In most cases, because of the fear of living alone, the man will be pursuing her up and down from family house to boyfriends house trying to get her back by pleading. This only increases her hatred of him, but she may come back because of pressure from other family members or out of pity. This is the type of woman that will kill her husband. You can't force a women to stay with you safely. If she wants to go, set her free. Men won't listen.

Yea i agree with you. But most times is not easy to leave a woman they have invested alot. Its the power of sunk cost.

okoIYAyin:
Yeah that's true, both genders are manipulative but women are more successful at it. That's because men never think they're being manipulated. Women's manipulation can be so subtle, guys just don't pick up on it or they just ignore it's happening.

another things is that men under rate women they see them as weak vessels and can do no harm thats how some men went grave early.

If a major general in Nigerian army that die due to hypertension and stress because of a woman just forget

RisenPhoenix1:
That is even worse. How can a man's psyche be so fragile that a woman's behaviour can affect it?

A woman burn's all your school Certificate thats when you know your psyche is fragile.

Emmynator:
I have one which I am reading, but I don't know which of the three it is, I need to read all three.

you may be reading the first :rational male

"What difference does it make whether women rule, or the rulers are ruled by women? The result is the same."

LegiitAdigun:
With d link ��

However the book is already shared.

Liposure:
Sometimes, women are major instigators of domestic violence.

Exactly. Domestic Violence is mostly bidirectional.

Upcoming red truths

Patriarchy : villain of feminism

The conspiracy

Red pill destinies

Red pill movies and books

@purpinx, pstaragood haven't heard from you guys

BLOODYSPERM:
Happy new month
God bless you, and strengthen you to continue to give us the sound wisdom that will emancipate men from the wiles of femcentric social conventions

Thank u n God bless you too.

Be wise as a serpent (redpillers) and gentle as a dove(blue piller).

Hello Redpillers wish you a happy red pill new month. We going b@ck to back in month of valentine.

Domestic abuse is abuse of one person by another person with whom they are living, have lived, or with whom a significant relationship exists.

Violent people are violent! Domestic abuse is not in isolation from other violence. Violence is not gender specific anybody can do it.
If a gender neutral scenario of violence occur people always asume there is a male perpetrator and a female victim.

The bias
Domestic Violence or the broader term Gender based Violence are politically correct names for Violence against women.

I took my time to dig deep on Domestic Violence and the only thing i can see is related to women instead of being neutral.
Infact definitions of DV disregard violence against men and the term gender , as used in gender based violence , only refers to women.
Domestic Violence against women is defined by the UN as any act of 'gender-based' violence that results in, or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.
However, the United Nations, being a feminist organisation, does not have a definition for domestic violence against men.
In the United States, in 2005, 1181 women were killed by their intimate partners, compared to 329 men. In England and Wales about 100 women are killed by partners or former partners each year while 21 men were killed in 2010. In 2008, in France, 156 women were killed by their intimate partner, compared to 27 men.
The figures above shows men are the lower victims. Which may be due to
¶ Male are stronger, they die less from domestic violence.
¶ Under-reporting (male ego).

The truth
The overall picture is that, taken together, abuse is widespread and not confined to any sex, gender, or cultural group etc. The term 'gender-based violence' is misleading since very little domestic abuse occurs because of a dislike of the gender being attacked, indeed the attacker is often living with them because they have an affinity for that gender.

Parents who physically abuse their spouses are more likely than others to physically abuse their children.
People who drink or smoke are liable to abuse their partner, as well as people with anger issues.
Other research indicates that boys who have been abused in childhood by a family member are more prone to violent perpetration, while girls who have been abused in childhood by a family member are prone to lack empathy and self-efficacy.

Adult on children abuse
Children are major victims of Violence
More concentration should be done on children. They are the highest victims of sexual abuse, physical abuse and all other forms of abuse.
¶ There was a lady i once heard in the news who was caught sleeping with her underage brother, she was asked why did it and she said it's because he is handsome.
¶ A man had sex with a 5 year old child
¶ Sometimes a close relative or a maid will rape a child
https://www.nairaland.com/6336906/being-consistently-raped-housemaid-when
¶ There was a story i heard years ago where a woman press press iron on her child because he didn't do what she told him to do.
¶ Another woman on the day of salah slaughter her son like a ram.
¶ Women have been shown to be agressive to children they do not begat and can sometimes physically hurt them. https://www.nairaland.com/6141908/woman-chops-off-nieces-finger
¶ Women tend to be worst when it comes to punishing children. While Men tend to flock, slap, beat or punch the child. Women tend to use objects to punish the child. Many have stabbed their children, burn them with iron, injured them with a metal.
When talking about Domestic abuse i see too much concentration on the victim/perpetrator model which focuses on the two adults, however, Children are also victims of said abuse. There are negative ffects on their mental health of the child and in the process of trying to seperate their parents may get hurt.
Read this also : https://www.nairaland.com/6107308/parents-always-fight-abusing-children


Male on male Violence
It is not only women that are victims of male violence. Male are more violent to male than female.
Alot of stories where a brother stabbed his brother because of a woman. Father killed his son because money. Friend killed his friend because of debt. Son killed his father because of food.

Male on female violence
This is refered to as Gender-Based Violence.
Men are higher in number when it comes to domestic violence because men tend to react via physical retaliation. Men tend to use methods like punching, beating, strangulation, kicking, slapping, butchering, and beheading.
There are stories in which a man butchered his wife and throw her inside a well. Man beheaded his wife over paternity fraud. Man strangled his wife to dead for refusing him sex. Man kills his wife and kills himself.
This is the type of Violence the media takes seriously and are the hot subject of human rights activist.


Female on male Violence
Women use slapping, hitting, throwing of sharp objects or utensils(Plate, pots, knife), destruction of partner's properties(certificates, gadgets etc),
However being less stronger physically they tend to use more dangerous method such as stabbing with knife, acid throwing, hitting with wood/ iron/stone, burning using kerosine/petrol, poisoning, pouring boiling water, hiring of mobsters, and penectomy(cutting of man's penis while asleep).
As such direct homicides are usually higher of women killed by their male partners. Indirect deaths, such as those committing suicide because of the domesitc abuse they recieve, are mostly of men.
Women tend to use emotional torture that can lead her partner to depression and suicide. A woman made a major General to commit suicide, this is to show you the intense emotional turture a woman can cause.
Links
https://www.nairaland.com/6359973/akwa-ibom-corper-killed-him
https://www.nairaland.com/6207445/nigerian-woman-stabs-boyfriend-death
https://www.nairaland.com/6359805/photos-man-set-ablaze-18-year-old
Females are more likely to consider Intimate partner violence, a serious problem than are their male counterparts, who are more likely to disregard female-perpetrated Violence .
As such many women do not end up going for jail for their crimes they are either pardoned or given short jail terms.



Female on female violence
In 2011, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released the 2010 results of their National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey and report that 44% of lesbian women, 61% of bisexual women, and 35% of heterosexual women experienced domestic violence in their lifetime.
Violence against women in lesbian relationships is about as common as violence against women in heterosexual relationships. This shows women are also as violent as men.
¶ There are many stories of women who killed their cowife. I practically witness this with my two eye in my neighborhood.
https://www.nairaland.com/6371154/kaduna-wife-kills-17-year-old-girl
¶ Women are known to use hot water
https://www.nairaland.com/6332656/wife-bathes-benue-excommissioner-daughter

Bidirectional Violence
Domestic abuse is often presented as one victim and one perpetrator . However, little abuse is one-sided. Most abuse has a history of escalation and joint participation: it is bidirectional.
There are cases of domestic abuse where there are multiple perpetrators in the home against a single victim(wife and children can gang up and beat the father) , some cases where there are multiple victims to an overbearing perpetrator(father terrorizes wife and children) , and some cases where there are multiple perpetrators and multiple victims (particularly along race, age or sex divisions) .
Many studies have found evidence of high levels of bidirectionality in cases where women have reported Intimate partner Violence .
For example, social activist Erin Pizzey , who established the first women's shelter in the U.K. in 1971, found that 62 of the first 100 women admitted to the centre were "violence-prone," and just as violent as the men they were leaving.
When talking about domestic abuse people view it binarily as one victim and one perpetrator. In reality, domestic abuse is often multi-faceted and rarely does one category appear on its own.
Wife and husband on tenant : https://www.nairaland.com/6365988/landlord-wife-cut-tenants-face

Domestic Violence
But i see Human rights only focusing on gender based violence instead of stopping violence in all.
Domestic abuse laws are rarely gender-neutral, and where they are, they are rarely applied in a gender-neutral manner.

Solution
Just as men are reprimanded for hitting or attempting to hit women. Women should also be reprimanded.
Thesame thing applies to rape and other vices.
https://www.nairaland.com/6318314/rape-omah-lay-catch-him
.
If Domestic Abuse is to be taken vehemently then Emotional/Psychological abuse, Implied threats, Harassment and stalking, Verbal abuse, Online or digital abuse, and Financial abuse should also be taken seriously.

Pocohantas the cook.
This is educative.

LegiitAdigun:
With d link ��

Its on my profile

.

LegiitAdigun:
@Dpsychologist I want to personally thank u for this thread, after goin thru it from page 1 to ds point thank U sir.
To every single person that have contributed thank U.

Believe me this thread is an eye opener TRP

You are welcome bro. I will be sharing a free book on telegram group make sure you are part of it.

And then when talking about Domestic Violence it will be onesided as if women are not also violent.

This is refreshing.

Emmynator:
MY RED PILL JOURNEY.

Here is me, a 14 year old guy having his first real infatuation, I was overwhelmed, the whole "love" thing was really strange to me, being my first time. Prior to my falling in "love", I was a nerdy guy, extremely introverted and shy, since I had no one to advice me, I started reading Google articles especially wiki how, and I started doing a lot of nice stuffs (shared my data with my crush, lol).
Then about 4 months later I made a move to ask my crush out, which was rejected, I was really hurt and depressed, the logical me was like "you are too young for this shit", but my heart was telling me a different story. I ran to wiki how once again and was reading articles on how to deal with rejection, it didn't really help but I moved on with life painfully.

Later I found my way to nairaland and picked interest in romance section because reading many heartbreak stories made me know that I am not alone, then I came across one of the great ubunja threads, his style of writing was captivating for me, I didn't mind the length of the thread I was done in a jiffy, then I read all his prior thread. It was at this point I knew that I fvcked up big time with the way I dealt with my crush, reading ubunja threads was the beginning of my journey to the red pill. For over two years I kept repeating them and following up with new ones.
Within that time I was in anger phase, it was almost as if I hate women, but in truth I was scared because of the grim reality that the red pill exposed me to. While I was at the university, I avoided girls a lot and my introvert personality helped me with that.
After 5 years since then, I graduated and I didn't have any relationships while in school to the surprise of most of my friends.
Within this time I started reading a lot of red pill content online, it was them I started seeing faults in my application of the red pill.
I knew it was time for growth, and my discovery of these points helped me in making the decision to leave the anger/fear stage.
- the red pill is beyond man's relation with women, it deals more with man's relation with himself.
- the red pill is not necessarily against women, it just about arming men with the right tools in dealing with women Etc.
I started opening myself up more, took very seriously my personal development, started making more female friends and having this platform where redpilled men share their thoughts helped me pick up on where I was lacking, it is now I can say I am really understanding the red pill, before now I was living in a shadow of it.
At the age of 21 now, I can say I am not an alpha male, I am not
the finished product, but I am on my way, its not easy to fully swallow the red pill, because one need to internalise the principles and make it his default settings.

**sorry for the long read.

Many teenagers are also facing same problems. And most of the time they have no one to depend on. And asking others about women sometimes might be embarrassing so many men pretend they know how to get ladies and use money as a weapon to entire women.

Flamemignon1:
Thanks man. Most people think corrective Rape is only done to women but it's done to men mostly perpetuated by family members. I've forgiven him as I don't want a hate that heavy to flow in my heart but I will never forget and don't let the hardships stir you away man. Africa is quite beautiful although I still prefer going back to Maryland in the states.

P. S :i've secretly been stalking your comments on my other monikers, you are just filled with practically so much wisdom..... Just wanna say Thank you especially for calling out most folks with hate and letting them see the bias in their own comments. You are the voice this forum needs

Yea forgiveness reduces the burden the hard even though it may be difficult to forget.

Sharing this story shoes you are strong. Many men feel shy to share such stories.

I thought people no longer do such

@Psych412

From the way you describe him, the guy must have been a handsome man or well to do. And quite a number of men in such scenario are prone to cheat because of availability of other ladies.

If you want happiness then you have to leave him even if it will be very difficult to do. I can see you love him very much.

There are men that will never cheat on you and you must have met them however, i doubt if they will as fun or attractive as this guy.

The interesting and cute guys are quite unfaithful while the faithful guys are quite boring n nt that cute.

If you want peace of mind go for the faithful guys.

Make your choice.

LOOK at what this ladies were saying in reference to omah lay. If reverse were to be the case, there might be uproar.

https://www.nairaland.com/6318314/rape-omah-lay-catch-him


FINAL WORDS

Just as men are reprimanded for hitting or attempting to hit women.

Women should also be reprimanded.
The same thing applies to rape and other vices.


I see Human rights only focusing on gender based violence instead of stopping violence in all.

Domestic abuse laws are rarely gender-neutral, and where they are, they are rarely applied in a gender-neutral manner.

It should be made gender neutral.

BIDIRECTIONAL THEORY
Domestic abuse is often presented as one victim and one perpetrator . However, little abuse is one-sided. Most abuse has a history of escalation and joint participation: it is bidirectional.

There are cases of domestic abuse where there are multiple perpetrators in the home against a single victim(wife and children can gang up and beat the father) , some cases where there are multiple victims to an overbearing perpetrator(father terrorizes wife and children) , and some cases where there are multiple perpetrators and multiple victims (particularly along race, age or sex divisions) .

Many studies have found evidence of high levels of bidirectionality in cases where women have reported Intimate partner Violence .

For example, social activist Erin Pizzey , who established the first women's shelter in the U.K. in 1971, found that 62 of the first 100 women admitted to the centre were "violence-prone," and just as violent as the men they were leaving.

When talking about domestic abuse people view it binaries as one victim and one perpetrator.

In reality, domestic abuse is often multi-faceted and rarely does one category appear on its own.

Wife and husband on tenant : https://www.nairaland.com/6365988/landlord-wife-cut-tenants-face

FEMALE ON MALE VIOLENCE
Women use slapping, hitting, throwing of sharp objects or utensils(Plate, pots, knife), destruction of partner's properties(certificates, gadgets etc).

However being less stronger physically they tend to use more dangerous method such as stabbing with knife, acid throwing, hitting with wood/ iron/stone, burning using kerosine/petrol, poisoning, pouring boiling water, hiring of mobsters, and penectomy(cutting of man's penis while asleep).

As such direct homicides are usually higher of women killed by their male partners. Indirect deaths, such as those committing suicide because of the domesitc abuse they recieve, are mostly of men.

Women tend to use emotional torture that can lead her partner to depression and suicide. A woman made a major General to commit suicide, this is to show you the intense emotional turture a woman can cause.

Links
https://www.nairaland.com/6359973/akwa-ibom-corper-killed-him

https://www.nairaland.com/6207445/nigerian-woman-stabs-boyfriend-death

https://www.nairaland.com/6359805/photos-man-set-ablaze-18-year-old

Females are more likely to consider Intimate partner violence, a serious problem than are their male counterparts, who are more likely to disregard female-perpetrated Violence .
As such many women do not end up going for jail for their crimes they are either pardoned or given short jail terms.



FEMALE ON FEMALE VIOLENCE
In 2011, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released the 2010 results of their National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey and report that 44% of lesbian women, 61% of bisexual women, and 35% of heterosexual women experienced domestic violence in their lifetime.

¶ Violence against women in lesbian relationships is about as common as violence against women in heterosexual relationships. This shows women are also as violent as men.

¶ There are many stories of women who killed their cowife. I practically witness this TYPE of scenario with my two eye in my neighborhood.
Read:
https://www.nairaland.com/6371154/kaduna-wife-kills-17-year-old-girl

¶ Women are known to use hot water
https://www.nairaland.com/6332656/wife-bathes-benue-excommissioner-daughter

¶ Woman killed her sister because of a man

MALE ON MALE VIOLENCE
It is not only women that are victims of male violence. Male are more violent to male than female.

Alot of stories where a brother stabbed his brother because of a woman. Father killed his son because money. Friend killed his friend because of debt. Son killed his father because of food.

MALE ON FEMALE VIOLENCE
This is referred to as Gender-Based Violence.

Men are higher in number when it comes to domestic violence because men tend to react via physical retaliation. Men tend to use methods like punching, beating, strangulation, kicking, slapping, butchering, and beheading.

There are stories in which a man butchered his wife and throw her inside a well. Man beheaded his wife over paternity fraud. Man strangled his wife to dead for refusing him sex. Man kills his wife and kills himself.

This is the type of Violence the media takes seriously and are the hot subject of human rights activist.

ADULT ON CHILDREN ABUSE
Children are major victims of Violence
More concentration should be done on children. They are the highest victims of sexual abuse, physical abuse and all other forms of abuse.

¶ There was a lady i once heard in the news who was caught sleeping with her underage brother, she was asked why did it and she said it's because he is handsome.

¶ A man had sex with a 5 year old child

¶ Sometimes a close relative or a maid will rape a child
https://www.nairaland.com/6336906/being-consistently-raped-housemaid-when

¶ There was a story i heard years ago where a woman press press iron on her child because he didn't do what she told him to do.

¶ Another woman on the day of salah slaughter her son like a ram.

¶ Women have been shown to be agressive to children they do not begat and can sometimes physically hurt them. https://www.nairaland.com/6141908/woman-chops-off-nieces-finger

¶ Women tend to be worst when it comes to punishing children. While Men tend to flock, slap, beat or punch the child. Women tend to use objects to punish the child. Many have stabbed their children, burn them with iron, injured them with a metal.

When talking about Domestic abuse i see too much concentration on the victim/perpetrator model which focuses on the two adults, however, Children are also victims of said abuse. There are negative ffects on their mental health of the child and in the process of trying to seperate their parents may get hurt.

Read this also : https://www.nairaland.com/6107308/parents-always-fight-abusing-children

THE TRUTH
The overall picture is that, taken together, abuse is widespread and not confined to any sex, gender, or cultural group etc. The term 'gender-based violence' is misleading since very little domestic abuse occurs because of a dislike of the gender being attacked, indeed the attacker is often living with them because they have an affinity for that gender.

Parents who physically abuse their spouses are more likely than others to physically abuse their children.
People who drink or smoke are liable to abuse their partner, as well as people with anger issues.

Other research indicates that boys who have been abused in childhood by a family member are more prone to violent perpetration, while girls who have been abused in childhood by a family member are prone to lack empathy and self-efficacy.

[color=maroon] 5. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HYSTERIA
Domestic abuse is abuse of one person by another person with whom they are living, have lived, or with whom a significant relationship exists.

Violent people are violent! Domestic abuse is not in isolation from other violence. Violence is not gender specific anybody can do it.

If a gender neutral scenario of violence occur people always asume there is a male perpetrator and a female victim.

THE BIAS
Domestic Violence or the broader term Gender based Violence are politically correct names for Violence against women. I took my time to dig deep on Domestic Violence and the only thing i can see is related to women instead of being neutral.

Infact definitions of DV disregard violence against men and the term gender , as used in gender based violence , only refers to women.

Domestic Violence against women is defined by the UN as any act of 'gender-based' violence that results in, or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.

However, the United Nations, being a feminist organisation, does not have a definition for domestic violence against men.

In the United States, in 2005, 1181 women were killed by their intimate partners, compared to 329 men. In England and Wales about 100 women are killed by partners or former partners each year while 21 men were killed in 2010. In 2008, in France, 156 women were killed by their intimate partner, compared to 27 men.

The figures above shows men are the lower victims. Which may be due to :
¶ Male are stronger, they die less from domestic violence.
¶ Under-reporting (male ego). [/color]