₦airaland Forum

Gfish:
Your wife pulling your strings and you said you won. Thank God for your large incomr and you all tell your wives to get busy abeg.

Bros no be me dey pay wife 200k na

Amhappy:
Over 200kpm,thats good money for upkeep lol. skypeme experience just spoke to you.

The OP is not earning the same with that guy. The guy might be earning N1m, so it is a different game. What if the OP looses his job. What will the wife do then?

Intra:
Dear Op,
I don't usually post on this forum, but yours is an interesting scenario.
I am in a similar position and I'd like to share with you how I was able to handle the situation. While I earn significantly more than you and therefore what I make available to my wife is more than yours, the principles are the same so I believe this might be helpful.

I make available 125k available to my wife every month, then a further 80k for the home needs (we have just 2 kids ages 3yrs and 1yr) in addition to the housemaid's salary, DSTV, fuel etc. but despite this, I still get tagged ''irresponsible'' by her and by the 19th or thereabouts she is already on the war path asking for more funds. She is a lawyer but she doesn't work so I quite understand that she doesn't have an independent source of income (I assume the same is the case with yours too).

Initially, I used to get quite resentful especially when her folks start calling me to ask why I'm depriving her of money when I know she doesn't work.
I got tired of explaining that I fork out minimum 250k every month on so-called upkeep.
So how did I solve this problem.
I sat her down and asked her to let us work out a monthly budget for the house....including her own allowance.

We wrote down everything needed for the month and the cost. We argued robustly on this until we were able to agree at a fixed sum. Then I made it clear to her that no matter what happens, by the 28th of every month, I will transfer this sum to her account. Even if I have to beg, steal or borrow it. And on her own part, she has to administer that money judiciously because no matter what happens, one extra naira will not come before the next allowance is due.
I stopped interfering in what she buys for the house, when she buys it and all those details. My own is that there must be no lack in the house once I've fulfilled my own part of the agreement.

The first month was funny because she attempted to ask for more, but I was resolute. it was kinda tough but she got the message. So she learnt 'Home Economics' by force. Maybe it helped that I have health insurance that covered the whole family from the office and I don't have so many friends or family around me so there are really no unexpected expenses during the month.

So, OP...you might try this approach. Instead of burdening yourself with trying to run the home and being billed for expenses as they come, agree a total monthly budget with her, and make that available every month, consistently, without any excuse. I want to believe that if she sees that consistency in the amount and timing....she herself will work to fit in with your financial planning.

Cheers and best of luck.

One question. What will you advise the OP should he do what you did and one day looses his job? (we are not praying for it to happen)

Rilwan20:
Even Pastors take 'tithe'
Sigh

And imam steals people's wives

ednut1:
how person wan take reason marriage with all this nonsense perform dey see. my salary pass op own, but i can barely save 50k from it. God forbid i marry a liability. chai

So you can't pay your wife 30k monthly salary abi?

salusworth:
This is very easy. Teach her to be financially responsible. Yes she's a student and you fund her every needs doesn't mean she shouldn't being something to the table. From the way i see this, she's not comfortable with the percentage of your salary you're giving her despite the numerous costs your bear.

Here's the solution. Save some cash for her to start a side business learn a skill or trade. We have students who make dresses, cakes and catering as side hustle and income from that is used to support their stipends. Your wife shouldn't be an exception. Let her learn this skill and start a side business. Do your best to ensure she's stabilised and when the business begins to pick, shove some responsibilities at her e.g, NEPA bills, fuel, small repairs around the house, all other school needs minus school fees, and other basic home needs.

Look on the bright side, the only reason she stole from you is cos she doesn't wanna go get that money from some means you won't be pleased with.

You're​ allowed to be mad at her but teach her some financial responsibility. And pls don't discontinue her allowance. Let her have a side hustle.

Thank me later.

what if she isn't ready to learn a side business

adeoba2008:
My wife does that too. At times she add extra cost to school fees.

We are not talking of extra cost. How will you feel if your wife doubles the money? That's what we want to know

skypeme:
I think I made a mistake getting married to someone who is still schooling, I should have married a working class lady

Now you have realized the real error which is marrying someone who is still schooling. If she was working, she would know what it takes to earn salary at the end of the month. However, don't punish her by not giving her the monthly stipends. Rather sit her down and let her know that you guys have to plan based on the current situation in the country. You need to save bro for the rainy day and you can't do that when your own wife is milking you dry. Also learn to relax and overlook some of her behavior but if it is getting out of hand, report her to someone she respects immediately

poshestmina:
I add money too but why was she rude? Some women sef .hian!

When you add money is it 100%? The woman is wicked

These are the list of praise singers who are the real enemies of Buhari and Nigeria

Sarrki, omenkalives, modath, Quotasystem, madridguy, Hungerbad, vedaxcool, progressive01 and nngenekwenu and all the northern zombies.

These are the real enemies of Nigeria and buhari. .

A true friend that wish you well will tell you when you have erred but these guys will never see any wrong in Buhari no matter what happened despite the numerous evidences

Jesusloveyou:
that is why apc is different from pdp.
Even if buhari thief one naira, he wil be investigated.

But Buhari has stolen several billions of naira. Why hasn't he been investigated?

SuperS1Panther:
Where is your undergrad project book?

Where is your undergrad certificate?

Where is your harvard certificate?

Where is your LSE certificate?

Where is Buhari certificate?

sarrki:
Dino really messed up

he and other miscreants in the Senate brought shame

to once respected chamber

He is an APC member so he is a saint. Is that not so?

vedaxcool:
[s][/s]

First tell all the thieves you swore to protect and praise to return the loot.

Tell the number one thief to return his own stolen loot

dominique:
There's nothing street or real about that fellow. All he has done is successfully deceive gullible fans about being poor.

Na wa for you o. E be like say Efe go give you atleast N1m make you cool your body. This your bad belle for Efe too much na.

And the guy is poor, the fathers face from the picture yesterday says alot

Honestly, why is it that only the yorubas are being persecuted and arrested? What about the hausas that started the killing
Na wa for this Buhari government

As long as they will not ask for money to do the capturing of data.

dominique:
Because his fans behave as if the prize money is his birth right, as if other housemates came to escort to win the cash. Honestly, the guy is highly overrated, nothing entertaining or inspiring about him.

As long as he has enough fans backing him up, he is already the winner. The fans got the vote.

dominique:
The others don't have parents abi?

Why you dey bad belle Efe? Wetin e do you

It is spiritual.

Just google succubus and incubus

SirWere:
This is one of the reasons why I don't want to marry a Yoruba girl.




Having lived very close to people with troubled marriages, I can confirm that the woman plays a very intrinsic role in the whole affair.







OP, last35;

Don't overstress yourself, you'll be surprised when you suddenly wake up one morning and find her back in the home, all smiles.

I don't want to sound tribalistic but you are actually right.

Women generally have bad mouths but Yoruba women own is x5..Thats why a lot of Yoruba men prefer marrying ladies from SS or SE.
I have a Yoruba colleague who prefers to toast ladies from either SS/SE. I never took note of it until another of my colleague, a married Yoruba woman challenged him one day asking why he only chases after girls from other regions and not Yoruba. The guy laughed and said that their bad mouths is enough to kill a giant.
That was how I knew. I have also dated Yoruba girls before and mehn, I twale for their guys. On a normal day their mouths are sharp, when you don't have money just know that you are finished.

Sanchez01:
I find nothing funny with the post. We are talking rape. Igbo or Yoruba, or wherever, you guys just have to understand that a human has been violated here. And that some misguided folks rant on here about other tribes does not mean you must pay them in same coin. Empathy before any other thing.

Dont mind the numerous idiots on NL. They don't know the damage these Fulani herdsmen can do. If not for us sending money home so that my people can defend the village, Fulani herdsmen would have taken over. Police and army is extremely useless and are aiding these killers. A Yoruba friend of mine lamented also how her mother suffered in the hands of these killers and rapists in the north. They need to be checked once and for all

pocohantas:
That's exactly how the value of some Nigerian men be dropping.
Which one we go use console ourselves now?

Things are expensive, even to see better boyfriend that will make you happy scarce like dollar. OP, the value of oil was good then sha.

Nobody should quote me

What was the value of oil in 1999/2000? What was the price of dollars to naira then too? Compare them to what we have now.

omenkaLives:
Im not Idoma and CERTAINLY NOT Igbo.

Face front.

But you are bearing Igbo name

Wow, he is an idoma man just like omenkalives. That means omenka is Igbo.

Zane2point4:
Still waiting for chuddy ugorji who ph 'd 500k and gh 10million every month..

The guy didn't PH a dime

vedaxcool:
Whenever you people lack any modicum of common sense in critiquing the opinion of others you resort to shouting Yoruba Muslim like is a code word for I lack the ability to intelligently engage you or I give up.

Hehehehe, look at who is talking about common sense. You that reason like a child.
I know that you will be here to come and defend your masters even if it didn't concern you.

[quote author=vedaxcool post=54761719][/quote]Yoruba Muslim. You must always defend your masters.

They were supposed to arrest those involved on both sides

Anifere has really been vocal for the Yoruba tribe. They warned yorubas about voting for Buhari and it's consequences, see what is happening now.

How come it is only the yorubas that are arrested? Didn't the hausas start the violence?

Any Yoruba still shouting sai baba is an enemy to its own people as it is obvious that the North will always play the victim while protecting their own

stephleena:
mtcheeeeew...afonjas and their masters.. who cares??

if you didn't care why are you here?

I don't trust El rufai the short devil and I don't trust Buhari the dullard

Campbell blog is buhari BMC. They tell lies for the gullible followers to believe