₦airaland Forum

nyt3237: Cheesy Pick Up Lines so not original. Who still use this in the 21st Century

SirShymex: Lmao!

I have never been catfished, but with instagram and all the fakeness involved with how fraudulent most pictures look these days, you can easily fall prey. Almost every chic I know that isn't good looking looks like a model/celebrity these days on instagram and chat apps. Hence folks need to be careful.

I only did the online thing during sec and college when [b]Hi5[/b]was popping, and back then, [b]MSN/Aol messenger[/b]and webcam were also popping. So, you actually see who you're chatting to and get a proper glimpse of what they look like, before travelling for a link up, or telling them to come link you. Teenage years right there!

Dammit! Half of you nyggahs will never make it with faux celebrities/models on social media these days.

20pounds: God is good, even in Kenya! With this woman as a Police officer, I shall continue to commit crimes. .

fr3do: Something like this?

MissMeiya: Loool. Even confronted with a logical answer in the very first comment, detailed descriptions and explanations--someone was kind enough to post a VIDEO, he would still rather believe something is hunting him. Maybe one day, the fear will give him a heart, and his dullness will end with him. Some guy came up with this silly idea called natural selection. I think his name was Darwin or David or something.

Hope for the human race. Looking for some virus that kills only the stupidest Nigerians, to improve the gene pool, because it's not looking good.

jmoore:
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he doesn't understand the meaning of marriage vows.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he lacks selfcontrol.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he thinks with his di**.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he is filled with insatiable lustful and selfish desires.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because when he was a bachelor, he was busy sampling many women and carried the foolish behaviour into marriage.


"Ugly" or beautiful wife, a man who has a wandering di** will always cheat.

#TeamChastity.

Kay17: I think the posts in this thread apparently prove that Science and Religion conflict. And always will be. Both describe a different reality.

The OP adopts a readily made explanation common to our society and to his intellect. Common people afflicted with this sort of experience can accept the demon - witch superstition prevalent in our culture, while better educated and exposed people have the luxury visiting neurologists and physiologists etc.

Ishilove: I'm a thinking, rational being. I apply logic and science and and what ever else can be applied when analysing things, but that doesn't mean I have attribute everything to science. Science has boundaries. The problem with you folks is you don't recognise that science has boundaries, and hence you refuse to explore those boundaries. Y'all view the world through 1D lenses

Dawezz: Ahahahahahahaha Nor be small ooooo....God catch me too one day like that....there is this girl on my Facebook, she just started sending me messages....you know showing me gree light....at last we decided to see and she promised to come see me, it was on sunday she promised to come, i didnt even go to church because of her....ma mind was just calculating how i'll Bleep her....omo when this babe come, call me say see where she dey...i con call ham...i nor even know say the person wey dey opposite me na the girl...because she too wooo-wooooo....slim con get yeye legs...wear oversize jean...chai...shame catch me....ma street wey say guys know the kinda babe i dey pull....when dey great me i dey shun them oooo....imagin we even enter house self...the babe get body odour con dey sweat like christmas goat...

well since ma mind don dey there now....i dont have any option than to Bleep her like that, she con even dey form....omo i just remove her cloth sharp sharp, wetin dey do you....you nor go fockuse....person like me won manage you self..you nor happy...na so she calm down oooo...i close eyes Bleep her...gave her transport to move immediately...

That thing make me nor day do online or social network runs again.

sunkoye: I believe in sleep paralysis but wen you start to see shadows running up and down in your room then its more than sleep paralysis. Science has really tried but we are not there yet. Wen will spirituality and science harmonise facts.? Thats a topic for another day.
Hey...you wia visited but it was a foolish visitation cos you were not meant to know your locus standi with God. If I were the spirit superior, the purnishment on your intruders will be best imagined. Now, with all your sinful activities you still believe you are a child of God?.....its best for them to have left you with your delusion. But wen boiz are not smart enough to think through their job funtion...this is what is messing the kingdom of darkness up. Dont worry much its some restless boiz playing around. Trust me they will still come, even with you sipping holywater and bible under the pillow. It wont stop them as long as u continue to break the protective/spiritual hedge around you. The bible says" he who breaks the hedge the serpents shall bite". Save yourself and get out of this mess you are in before you catch the attention of the big boiz. They dont seem pretty patient and direction-less like the peasants that you just had encountered with.

But remember wen all chips are down and you are cornered as a sinner.... the big boiz still run like mad since 30 AD wen they hear the name JESUS!

Pls move close to God. Cheers.

Pronmix: 2.
Frane Selak: Escaped from a derailed train, a door-less
plane, a bus crash, a car into flames, another 2 car
accidents... then won Million Dollar lottery!
Luck has always been on his side or vice versa for
croatian music teacher Frane Selak (born in 1929), who
is well known around the world for as many fatal
accidents as spectacular escapes. The first of his
numerous near-death experiences began on a cold
January day in 1962, when Selak was on a train to
Dubrovnik: it suddenly derailed into an icy river, killing
17 passengers. He managed to escape with a broken
arm, minor scratches and bruises.
A year later, Selak was flying, from Zagreb to Rijeka,
when a door abruptly blew away from the cockpit of the
plane, as he was blown off the plane. The accident killed
19 people, however, Selak was lucky enough to land on
a haystack, and wake up some days later in hospital,
with minor injuries.
It was in 1966 that he met with the third misadventure
while traveling on a bus that crashed and plunged into a
river. There were four people dead. Astonishingly, Selak
managed to escape unharmed again.
In 1970, Selak was driving along when, all of a sudden,
his car caught fire. He was fortunate again to have left
the car before the fuel tank exploded. Three years later,
another of Selak’s car caught fire, blowing flames
through the air vents. To a greater dismay, Selak's lost
most of his hair.
In 1995, Selak was in Zagreb when he was hit by a bus,
again leaving nothing but a few injuries. The following
year, while driving through a mountain road, Selak drove
off a guardrail to escape an oncoming truck and landed
on a tree to watch his car explode 300 feet below.
In a surprising turn of events in 2003, Selak won the
million-dollar Croatian lottery, turning the man into
either the world’s unluckiest man, or the world’s
luckiest one.

lygn19: lol... Niccur is dz an invitation to war.
It seems Nairaland has made new generals at my abscence.

panachuku: adaeze don finish hin energy

padeolu: ...and who are you to judge? If you had read the posts well you'd realize am a freethinker. That doesn't make you more holier than me or more of a Christian than myself. I drink, self-service and see indecency doesn't mean you don't do much worse things than that. Go through the bolden and ask yourself if Jesus Christ would have uttered such statement. I think when it comes to religion issue we all should be conscious of what we say and do. What we perceive to be a sin might not be and what we see as Godly might be a sin in Gods eyes.

Thanks for the other part of the post, I will work on it.
Shalom

RICHIEBOI1: The guy looks like a playboy sef. I dey pity all those port harcourt babes wey him nyanch while in port Funny enough he survived but the doctor that treated him didn't.

MissMeiya: [size=18pt]Sleep paralysis[/size] is a phenomenon in which a person, either when falling asleep or awakening, temporarily experiences an inability to move. It is a transitional state between wakefulness and sleep characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It is often associated with terrifying visions, such as an intruder in the room, to which one is unable to react due to paralysis, from which the term "nightmare" is derived. One theory is that it results from disrupted REM sleep, which is normally characterized by complete muscle atonia to prevent the sleeper from acting out his or her dreams. Sleep paralysis has been linked to disorders such as narcolepsy, migraines, anxiety disorders, and obstructive sleep apnea; however, it can also occur in isolation.[1][2] When linked to another disorder, sleep paralysis commonly occurs in association with the neurological sleep disorder narcolepsy.[2]

Many people who experience sleep paralysis are struck with a deep sense of terror when they sense a menacing presence in the room while paralyzed—hereafter referred to as the intruder. A neurological interpretation of this phenomenon is that it results from a hyper-vigilant state created in the midbrain.[9] More specifically, the emergency response is activated in the brain when individuals wake up paralyzed and feel vulnerable to attack.[10] This helplessness can intensify the effects of the threat response well above the level typical of normal dreams, which could explain why such visions during sleep paralysis are so vivid.[10] Normally the threat-activated vigilance system is a protective mechanism to differentiate between dangerous situations and to determine whether the fear response is appropriate.[10] Some hypothesize that the threat vigilance system is evolutionarily biased to interpret ambiguous stimuli as dangerous, because "erring on the side of caution" increases survival chances.[10] This hypothesis could account for why the threatening presence is perceived as being evil.[10]

A similar process may explain the experience of the incubus presence, with slight variations, in which the evil presence is perceived by the subject to be attempting to suffocate them, either by pressing heavily on the chest or by strangulation.[10] A neurological explanation hold that this results from a combination of the threat vigilance activation system and the muscle paralysis associated with sleep paralysis that removes voluntary control of breathing.[10] Several features of REM breathing patterns exacerbate the feeling of suffocation.[10] These include shallow rapid breathing, hypercapnia, and slight blockage of the airway, which is a symptom prevalent in sleep apnea patients.[9] According to this account, the subject attempts to breath deeply and finds herself unable to do so, creating a sensation of resistance, which the threat-activated vigilance system interprets as an unearthly being sitting on her chest, threatening suffocation.[9] The sensation of entrapment causes a feedback loop when the fear of suffocation increases as a result of continued helplessness, causing the subject to struggle to end the SP episode.[10]

CodeineJunkiee: I've experienced this before too and I can relate to the op's situation. The part that you feel you're being pressed to the bed and you're trying to get up. One would even try to scream, but one would be voiceless. Squeal sef you won't be able to do that.

It usually last for 2-3 mins. The solution here is one shouldn't struggle. Just make chants of prayer in your subconscious and the force would leave you. But like one guy said here that it's "sleep paralysis". Well, that's scientific crap but it sure explains it too.

I've not experienced it for 2 years straight now sha.

peziz: Lmao!! You are mean. How have you been?

padeolu: I had a nightmare last night.. it was so different from my previous ones... Its more of an alien visitation or witch/demon attack...Thank God I overcame the encounter with just minor stings

Last night before I slept, there was no light in my area and I knew the possibility of Phcn restoring power was slim and it was so hot that I had to sleep naked (well, almost naked coz I had my pant on). My room sliding window/louvers were opened, so also is the door to my room and my room's restroom and its small window.

I thought of mosquitoes coming in to make the night a horrible one, but the thought cleared off upon realizing I'd be swimming in my sweat till dawn, and who knows, sleep may not come. I madeup my mind to live with the mosquitoes bites, moreso am used to it. I removed my mosquitoe net coz every little breeze that touches my body counts.

At around 1:20am, I fell asleep, it was a deep sleep, I guess I enjoyed the first part of the sleep before alien came to attack. I had a dream, I saw myself in my restroom masturbating as I used to, with my phone on my hand playing a porn video from **censored** (am sure dem G's know that site). While at it, I heard a knock on my door, I quickly rushed my masttting process to make d deal come out, I was wrong, instead of releasing, my dick cut into my hands.. I was so scared that I woke up in the process. I prayed and slept again.

The second phase is where it all happened, I guess this happened around 3am or so. Am not so sure of the time coz their wasn't light and I hate leaving my bed at midnights. Ok, during the second phase of the sleep, I guess I wasn't deep asleep this time around when I noticed a big hand all over my body, pressing me to bed, I couldn't shout, I was so helpless, words weren't coming out of my mouth, I made several attempts to scream, maybe my parents or siblings would hear... But no, I was voiceless. It was so dark that I couldn't see the face of the alien/witch pressing me to the bed. Then I remembered my pastors preaching (I hardly go to church tho) where he sometimes said "when in the day of adversity and trouble.....*or something like that*. So Psalm 91 came to my mind, I couldn't scream it out, coz I was voiceless, so resited the psalm several times, then I noticed instead of being pressed to the bed, I started noticing some sort of bee or needle-like sting all over my body, it was so painful that I started weeping, still voiceless, but tears were rolling down my face. I was very scared and suddenly I was able to talk, instead of calling for help, I SCREAMED BLOOD OF JESUS. From their I noticed the hands stop pressing me to the bed, and the needle-like object stopped pinching me, even though the pain was much.

So, I swiftly took a land lying next to me on bed just to see the face of the big hand pressing me to the bed. Upon switching the lamp on, I saw nothing, so I turned my body to face the other side of the wall, lo and behold, I saw a shadow running on the wall, I guess it was finding its way out, the shadow has a big head, with a very long hand, but short legs. Upon seeing that, I was so scared, I started shivering, and then covered myself with my duvet. After few minutes, some courage came, I stoodup from my bed, holding the lamp on one hand and my bible on the other hand. But it was too late the demon/alien/witch is gone.

My fellow NL'ers, help me thank the Lord, I overcame the horrific mare. I guess I've learnt my lessons. I took too much hot legend (dark ale) before I went to bed and I forgot to make myself holy by licking anointing oil. Any ways, thank you all for reading. Good morning to you all


PS...No insults

akitijackson: Only God will judge u. I curse the very day u were born, how dare u say such of som1 u do nt kwn? Light will be far away frm you and darkness will be ur bestfrnd. I curse you nd ur future even tho I've neva met u. I curse u!!!

jideomowunmi: Naah..not only on dis thread alone jo...pple like u sha wan put una finger in ma mouth..buh ama change babe...

Dolemite: I've been masterbating for ages and I am happy happy happy, life has been so good to me.

Olucheye: Isn't this a public fora, why should it be borne in mind again?

The said comments you tag as being hurtful, are called criticisms. It's expected in EVERY society where any topic whatsoever is being discussed.

Some, for the fun of being trolls.. even Judas was Jesus's troll...how much more Nairaland.


It's now left for him to adjust or keep at his GAYISH ways.

akitijackson: upload it pls! Bare chested rabbit! Olofofo, uncircumcised bastard!!!!! Ugly buffon.