₦airaland Forum

LordZero:
[color=#F70D1A] .the garri warriors
.the end time warriors
.dem "who get charger gang . [/color]

The "who get BB charger" crew should have been my number 15.

weblord1900:
how many days or hours e take you to compile these things.


well I don't blame you.
Na APC cause am

This make you appear dumd and slow... To think that compiling this takes hours.

It's been a while I'v joined this forum and it's been enjoyable throughout stay. Nairaland is a place where you meet different people, different personalities, different thinking, awkward discussions, weird questions, different response, so new things, that will make you "wow" happen almost everyday.

Today, I present to you to top 14 waves that happened (and still happening) on Nairaland, and the oldies can relate to it.

1. 5 & 6 :- This is a slang in Africa describing two things that do occur together on many occasion. Nairalanders are fond of using slang to comment on some topics, attaching the picture of one old man making his index fingers come together. Politicians and money are like 5 & 6.

2. End Time :- This is a trend of the past but still used once in a while. This is a slang used by nairalanders to comment on topics about things that are very awkward and unimaginable. Any small thing na "End Time"

3. Picture or :- This is slang used by some Nairaland that don't believe and new development easily. You need to convince them with a pictured evidence. Create any topic like Buhari becoming the president, you will get comments like "pishure or idonbelieveit" This still trends but usage declines.

4. FTC :- This simply means "First To Comment." If you are new to this platform and you see people struggle to get this position. You will think there is some kind of reward for it. Haha. Seriously, it is just for fun. "FTC since 2009." "FTC for the first time since 2004. I dedicated this land to.."

5. Space Bookers :- This trend still trends and it will forever be trending as long as Front Page still exist. Who wouldn't like to be heard by large number of Nairalanders? If you create a topic with a bright front page future you will see comments like: Driver! Park me here, This land is not for sale. Following, Make I sidon sip my kunu. (...) Etc..

6. Who You Epp? :- This is a sland originated from the popular artiste, Olamide. It trends at one time but not for long. Create a Topic about Mahida going nude and you will see replies like, Who her yanch Epp?

7. Pick Up :- This is a slang that trends at the release of the song "Pick Up by Adekunle Gold." Nairalanders do use this slang to comment to Topic about wealth, fortune or luck. Then, celebrities topics like Orisagunna and Comments like Baba God, Pick up my call are like 5 & 6.

8. Wailers & Zombies: This is a slang describing the followers of PDP and APC. After the last election, which is a shocker for all of us, divides nairalanders into two groups: Wailers and Zombies. Wailers are Nairaland members not in support of the new government, and as the name implies, wail at the good development from the government. While zombies are the people that are in support of the new government.

The remaining ones below are not based on trending ways people comment but the type of Topics that tends to make Front Page.

9. Pictures People Can Relate To:- This Type of Topics is a trend that is on fire. Nairalanders will sit down, think of popular scenario that do occur to many people, summarise it with 10 to 12 sentences, then each sentence will be explained with hilarious pictures. My best one is: 14 Pictures Jambites can relate to: the part where we will be looking for the most attractive answers.

10. Snake :- What moderators and Snakes have together still remain a mystery to many nairalanders. If you create a topic about killing an animal, then your front page future is bright. If the animal is a BIG SNAKE, then your topic front page future is guaranteed.

11. Praise The Lord! I Have Got A Good Job! :- Look at what unemployment in Nigeria has caused. Some people will come here to share their good news about their new job, causing hypertension to people that are still searching. The front page is reserved for you, go and get that job.

12. 10 Ways To.. :- At one point, Nairalanders won't create any other topic than 10 ways to make your partner love you. 10 ways to get rich. 10 things you see inside a commercial bus. One guy like that.. "Tosyne2much" deserves an award for stuffs like this (he does good one though). Nairalanders miss this type of threads so much but we have gotten over it.

13. Celeb Pictures and Cleavages:- About last month or two; moderators almost choke us with celebrities pictures like our lives depend on it. Toyin Aimakhu Steps out in style with Denim. Rihanna vs Tiwa savage, who rocks it better. Timi Dakola strikes a pose at the BET award. Fans come for Fathia Balogun for showing massive cleavage (see pics).

14. Crime :- These types of topics scare me to death. There is never a time you log into nairaland without seeing about 10 topics on crime on front page. Man beheads Son for failing his JAMB exams. Boy murders his teacher, brings out her intestine. I hardly see this kind of thread again these days but it has trend one time. Looks like crime rate have reduced.

And Of course, Add yours
.

tulipsmadra:
You are so right about charging & discharge time I use lumia 535 as well and it not funny at all. The battery saver on W8 seems to be better than that on W10. And I dare not put my network on 3G else I will have to charge my phone every 3hrs+ just using whatsapp.

Aha! About that whatsapp.. Did you also notice the delay in Whatsapp offline notification? At times, you have run the App before all the messages are delivered.

I have three major problem with my lumia 535 running the latest official build of windows 10 mobile.
1. The Discharge Time makes the phone almost impossible for me to use. The phone's battery which is 1900mAh last longer when playing (some) games, watching videos and listening to music but still can't be compared to my Blackberry Bold IV that use 1200mAh. Despite offing everything off-able in the setting. When my battery is fully charged, I use just about 3 hours in web browsing which is really frustrating.
2. The Discharge time is short and the charging time is long. In fact, this is one major reason I'd advise anyone, no matter how patient they are, not to use any Windows phone. Users would still have been pleased with the OS if the charging time is as quick as the discharge time. How can I charge a phone for 5 hours and use it for not more that 3 hours? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Windows phone, as the name implies, should be thrown out of the window. "Your device is charging slow": This notification once make me look bad like I'm the one not doing it right, I bought all types of charger, ranging from #1,500 to #3,500 but no joy. I visited a friend of mine at home, I used her mum's fake #200 charger and it didn't bring the notification but the charging time still not have any significant difference.
3. Battery Saver Mode: This is one thing that is stable in low ends phone like Nokia Touch Lite, Android 2.0 and Blackberry 7.1. I can't believe Microsoft haven't get it right. Gross! Battery saver, supposedly, reduce the brightness off the phone when it kicks in, stop all background task and off services like location so that the battery life of the device will last longer. Switched on battery saver on Lumia 535 and other significant windows device too but the brightness won't adjust at all. The settings in "Extra" won't help either.
4. Brightness Slider: If Microsoft kicks in brightness slider in the display setting. The batter life would still been have able to live with. Even if you set the display to "low".. It is too bright for the eye and it still consume more battery.
The design of the OS is good but it is very unstable. Too unstable that people don't want to like the "design" anymore. I don't know much of how App design is related to OS but I think Microsoft should reduce there privacy and requirement coz I think App developers shy away Windows OS coz there are too much to give in than they will get (as there are very few users)
I'm still holding on to the device coz I hope that Microsoft would be able to fix it in the coming Anniversary Update which is expected on arrive August 2nd.

khattab008:
@DY20 and Larule007 had a similar problem with my battery recently, took too long to charge and discharged very fast, had to perform a hard reset and everything went back to normal.

You guys can try it too, it might solve some of your phone's problems.

Reset? Yes, I'm thinking of that too but there are lots of information on my device that I can't afford to lose yet.. As recovering backup device requires lot of data, i'm waiting for the anniversary update so as do the reset once.

And does the battery saver has effect on the brightness after the reset?

I have three major problem with my lumia 535 running the latest official build of windows 10 mobile.

1. The Discharge Time makes the phone almost impossible for me to use. The phone's battery which is 1900mAh last longer when playing (some) games, watching videos and listening to music but still can't be compared to my Blackberry Bold IV that use 1200mAh. Despite offing everything off-able in the setting. When my battery is fully charged, I use just about 3 hours in web browsing which is really frustrating.

2. The Discharge time is short and the charging time is long. In fact, this is one major reason I'd advise anyone, no matter how patient they are, not to use any Windows phone. Users would still have been pleased with the OS if the charging time is as quick as the discharge time. How can I charge a phone for 5 hours and use it for not more that 3 hours? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Windows phone, as the name implies, should be thrown out of the window. "Your device is charging slow": This notification once make me look bad like I'm the one not doing it right, I bought all types of charger, ranging from #1,500 to #3,500 but no joy. I visited a friend of mine at home, I used her mum's fake #200 charger and it didn't bring the notification but the charging time still not have any significant difference.

3. Battery Saver Mode: This is one thing that is stable in low ends phone like Nokia Touch Lite, Android 2.0 and Blackberry 7.1. I can't believe Microsoft haven't get it right. Gross! Battery saver, supposedly, reduce the brightness off the phone when it kicks in, stop all background task and off services like location so that the battery life of the device will last longer. Switched on battery saver on Lumia 535 and other significant windows device too but the brightness won't adjust at all. The settings in "Extra" won't help either.

4. Brightness Slider: If Microsoft kicks in brightness slider in the display setting. The batter life would still been have able to live with. Even if you set the display to "low".. It is too bright for the eye and it still consume more battery.

The design of the OS is good but it is very unstable. Too unstable that people don't want to like the "design" anymore. I don't know much of how App design is related to OS but I think Microsoft should reduce there privacy and requirement coz I think App developers shy away Windows OS coz there are too much to give in than they will get (as there are very few users)

I'm still holding on to the device coz I hope that Microsoft would be able to fix it in the coming Anniversary Update which is expected on arrive August 2nd.

The word "completely" used in the topic is only used to lure you guys here. The secret to make a man understand you completely still remain a secret. And it will remain a secret for a very long time. Even a man do not fully understand himself, not to talk of a woman.

Here's some things some women don't understand. Men's life have many facets. At his early stage of life, the only thing he thinks about is school. After he met you, he adds you to his picture. Now that's two facets: Education and You. He spends just 8 hours at school and the rest of the day with YOU (or thinking about you).

He has time to go on a date with you. He has time to strategize how to make up to what's lacking in your relationship. At 22, he graduated and started working, started taking responsibilities at home. He got married to you, bear kids, etceteral.

These things add to his growing number of the facet of his life and it will continue growing. There will even come a time, maybe about 40 years of age, when he will hardly have time for you. He will only miss what you had together once just once in three months. If that once in three months happen frequently that without postponing it with nagging, you will have your man for the rest of your life.

But ladies won't accept that. They want him to miss them six times in a week. It is even irresponsible of you to want that, you have a job, kids, and your own family too.

Don't let me bore you with introduction, I will go on with my points now.

WhatsApp will stop working on some mobile
December 31

I've come across this news but I find it hard to believe until today, I download WhatsApp on my Nokia Asha 3110 when I saw this notification:

"We are sorry to say that WhatsApp won't be working anymore on this mobile from 31/12/2016"

Already he announced, but missing the date.
Finally, on December 31, 2016, WhatsApp will
stop working for some mobile with very old
versions of the Android system (version 2.0 or
earlier).

Nokia phones that use Symbian and
BlackBerry will be primarily affected terminals.
The company has indicated that it has not been
“an easy decision” but that is the “right” to
provide good service: “Looking ahead, we want
to focus our efforts on moving platforms that
great most people use “.


Some specialized forums suggest that you may
WhastApp launch by year end function for
video calls, which would make a app
incompatible with older terminals.

Mobile and affected operating systems
* BlackBerry, including BlackBerry 10
* Nokia S40
* Nokia Symbian S60
* Android 2.1 and Android 2.2
* Windows Phone 7.1

http://archyworldys.com/whatsapp-will-stop-working-on-some-mobile-december-31/

It would have been more interesting if the images were moving

2saints:
She didn't say she is getting married.

Oh! Let me read the post again.

2saints:
She didn't say she is getting married.

Oh! Let me read the post again.

2saints:
On a faithful day she asked me that hope i won't be sad if I hear that she is getting married? My sixth sense kicked away the shy me and finally asked her to be my girl.

Ok, she's not really getting married. She's just getting you to ask her out. Now I get. Back to the topic, as a man, you have the right to snatch a lady that is still single even if she's dating someone else. (Neither is it sinful) but you will appear like someone with no common sense if you ask her to stop any relationship she has with someone else. So here's what to do, continue being in a relationship with her, if you really like her, continue dating her till she becomes comfortable with you, so comfortable that she will start taking risk for you and leaving you will be very difficult for her (..that's very hard to do right? I can't help you with that coz I don't know the kind of person she is. But if you are an artful person, you should know what to do to govern her at).. When you reach that point of "she can't do without you", then ask her to stop dating the other guy. Use all psychological method you know. Some (most) ladies are stupid. And she's different, use Blackmail method if you must. Then at the end, both of you will benefit when you eventually got married. Bless.

OP, in our house hold. We eat Breakfast, 9.00. Supper, 5.00 and dinner, 11,00. I don't have what you want.

OP, the lady in your imagination is Bony nor Skinny.

OP, it took me about 2 mins to read your nonsense..
Now, back to the nonsense..
I don't know what is more absurd.. You thoughts or the picture.

I don't understand you sef.. When she says that she's getting married, does she mean it?

Of course she can dress sexy but not like the bitch in the picture you attached above..

She can continue wearing what attracted me to her; bitchy dress don't attract me anyway...

If she continue wearing what attracted me to her; I will continue taking her out on a date.

GANDALF1:
Very simple.

Several things can happen to the money in your savings account when you die and they are listed below:
1. It will be claimed by your beneficiary through probate if you die without a will or inte state,
2. It will be distributed to your beneficiar(y/ies) if you left a will behind and it is executed by your appointed administrator,
3. It will stay in your account for ever until the government asks for it (Banks renders a report of dormant account to CBN monthly).

Now, if you choose to be secretive about your financial affairs, I will advice you to keep an evidence of your bank accounts relationship amongst your educational/important credentials so that your relatives/ beneficiary will see them upon your demise.

But I always advise people to toe the line of having a will as soon as possible (preferably, once you get married). This will can be updated say once in 5 years until one is no more. Its cheaper and reduces the confusion thats sets in with case 1 above. In that case, you would have properly appointed a lawyer or notary to share/execute your properties accordingly you are no longer there. Also, the tax you pay to the government in this case is smaller than case 1 above.

if you chose to follow the path of no will as in case 1, then you leave the funds in your account to the mercy of the strongest/most knowledgeable person in your family and most times, these individuals are the most wicked. The procedure to follow in such cases are outlined below:
A. Go to a government registered hospital and obtain a valid death certificate in respect of the individual. The court will normally ask for the Nigerian population commission type of certificate.

B. Take the certificate to any court premises and ask for the probate office or registry.

C. Submit the certificate there and pay the necessary fees and apply for administration for the deceased estate/properties. The probate will then give you a letter of confirmation for the estate.

D. Take the letter to all the banks you suspect or is aware the deceased had an account including financial houses/stockbrokers. They will oblige you with the deceased financial standing with them as of that date. This process normally takes about a week or two as the finance houses will confirm the authenticity of your confirmation letter from the court.

E. Return the confirmations from the banks to the probate registry. They will add up the deceased financial balances as of the date of your enquiry and apply the necessary charges to the total of it. It is worthy to note that part of the charge will be a mandatory 10% of total balance to be given to the federal government. You will then be asked to go make in payment in bank.

F. After making the payment, take the teller back to the registry and the paper work will be concluded for you to be the administrator/official sharer of the person's estate of properties. You will be given an official letter of administration.

With this letter of administration, go back to all the banks and brokers. You will either be given a draft for the balances or asked to open an estate account with you as the signatory (the choice is yours)

Finally, if you are too secretive and didnt leave any record of your financial relationships, your money will be holed up in ur account, which will definitely go dormant after sometime and will add up to the statistics of existing dormant accounts disturbing CBN.

Gracias

Beautiful! You just cured my confused mind..

pythonkid:
a typical igbo man ..

I am a Yoruba man.

moshino:
Once you die, your surviving family members will search you, your room/house, they will search everything and everywhere you left something, they will even call all your friends to find out if any of them owes you money, and they'll definitely find your bank account info, all of them. Then they'll take your death certificate, and evidence that they're related to you, then they'll go to your bank and collect the money and share it among themselves. Some of them will use their share to drink, eat peppersoup/bushmeat etc. and some of them will use their share to chase girls and buy new phones etc.

I don't mind the bolded... I don't know what happens in heaven but my wish on earth is make life comfortable for my family.. Although what I left in my account is not something that will bring the comfort I dream of, but at one point, I will give joy to someone.

ichomi:
In the time past ur next of kin will claim ur money if you die. (trust me they will go through a hell of processes).

But now with the introduction of atm and mobile banking its easier to pull out ur money if u die..... U just need 1 person to kw ur pass/pin.

The bank wont kw u have died if nobody tells them, they might suspect because u havent withdrew money from the account for long but experienced has taught them not to tamper with peoples money if when they havent come in 10yrs.

But then thats how most of them enrich themselves..... Most especially ur account officers..... They can transfer money if they are aware the owner is dead. (its still an offence thought)

I really don't feel like death is coming (though it is something everyone should expect).. The idea of the ATM have just occured to me.. I will stylishly let my Mum know my ATM password. I will encode it in such a way that she will remember after so many years.. That will do more benefit as that doesn't mean she will know my account balance details. Thanks.

Ayomide93:
Don't mind him... Its not a devilish thinking. My Dad is my next of kin. Same thing happened when my elder sister died. She had close to 150k in her account and my mum was her next of kin.
We went to bank simply, we were told to produce death certificate and see a lawyer who would put us through the process and a valid identification for my mom which was done. The bank would give a form to fill also and ask other personal details...
The lawyer charged us just #6,000. And all of the stuffs the bank asked for was presented including death certificate and valid identification for my mom with a valid signed note from an high court magistrate.
It was a rigorous process because I handled it myself but I had a friend who works with the bank and he helped facilitate the process.
The lawyer would take you to court where questions would be asked from you and after that, your money would be given to you. The bank would remove a 10percent deduction though.

I hope have helped with my own personal encounter.

God bless you sir.. Advice comes easy from an experienced person.. You just give me a significant answer I can relate with. Thanks.

Johnrake69:
We had a case like that in my firm, our client died without a will. Meanwhile, she had lots of money in her account with us. The children couldnt gain access to the funds until they provided a letter of administration among other requirements. Don't worry, it's simply responsible of you to be thinking of passing down all you own. It's nothing evil or to be ashamed of. Life is transient.

Thanks.

kingsman66:
my brother the heart of man is evil,thinking about what will happen to your account if you die is very annoying and devish.........please I advise you stop thinking towards that direction, you will live long and see your children children say Amen to that

Amen to your prayer sir.. But I don't think my thinking is devilish. In stead, see me as a young man that is thinking of the wellness of his family in case he dies. If such thinking is annoying and devilish, then why do people write wills.

darkenkach:
Chio! Thank God I saw this. My next of kin is my girlfriend and the future of the relationship isn't guaranteed. First thing on Friday I will be going to replace it with ma dad.

. Haha, what are you thinking in the first place. I am very sure that you only put her number there because you have memorized her number. If you do know your parent's number off hand, I trust you to use them as your next of kin.

Johnrake69:
In the case of your demise, the bank can only release your funds to your beneficiary on the execution of your registered will or in the absence of a will, through a letter of administration to be obtained through the probate office. The later of option means the asset will be liable to tax.

Thanks for the tip man, at least now I know that one way or the other sha, my relatives can have access to my funds in case of my demise. And I find it weird to be writing about wills at this young age of mine.
And again, with without, children can take over their parent's asset at their death by default. Do that apply to his money in bank too?

I checked my account balance now; the figures I saw make me curious about what will happen to the money in my account if I die.
I opened this saving account with UBA 2011 when I started working. I opened it just to save some money so that I will be able to go to school. Yes I am going to school but I am still working. I think I and the bank are the only person that knows the details of my account balance.
These questions are just coming from nowhere.
As a common man and a common saving account owner: If I die, how will the bank know?
Does that mean that the money becomes bank's own if I die?
I can only remember filling the details of my next of kin (my mum) when registering the account: will they call if the bank noticed I have not been using the account because I have died?
Will my parents or relatives will able to claim the money if I die? (That's even if my mum knows that I have money in my bank account)

Bonus: is it even proper morally if my parents enquire about my account details from the bank? (What if na just like 10k dey dere?) coz I suppose it is the child that ought to collect his parent's wealth..

Please help me satistfy my this curious mind.. So that I will know if to, or not to give a tip to my mum about my bank account balance details. I am not ready yet o (neither am I prepared ornot scared) but I felt like death can come anytime.

Thanks for your contribution.